Other people that get annoyed when you don't drink

Drakares

I have experienced this quite a bit.

When out with people in a pub /restaurant and I am not drinking alcohol either because I'm driving or just don't feel like it, there's inevitably at least one person that will proceed to get upset about it.

I'm either "ruining the craic", a "dry ****e", "under the thumb".. And every time the waiter comes by to take orders for a fresh round of drinks, one of the lads will say "No bring him a beer/whisky" or something stupid. Then when I say I'm driving, they're like "just one then".. Ehh No..

Once or twice things have actually gotten really heated where one guy I know told me to leave his house because I didn't feel like making myself sick with drink...

I have talked to other people who have experienced similar things and they always say that the types who need you to be drinking are idiots.. But in a lot of cases for me, they're good friends and intelligent people that just have this childish mentality that I cannot understand.. I mean, what bloody difference does it make what the hell I am drinking?!

Anyone else experienced this?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

No, but I keep hearing about people who have. It;s sad, really.

A friend of mine once pretended he was a recovering alcoholic in order to get people to **** off. Worked well, apparently, but it realies on people not knowing you.

Sir Osis of Liver.

Your friends are alcoholics ya big dryshyte.

RayM

Drakares wrote: »

I'm either "ruining the craic", a "dry ****e", "under the thumb"..

People who use phrases like that are invariably idiots.

Tombi!

I'd be a big drinker. Met a friend of a friend on a night out. He didn't drink. Didn't say why but he just said he doesn't drink. I took it at face value. Spent the first two hours of the night having to jump in every minute with something along the lines of "who gives a f**k if he's not drinking; his choice to drink or not".

I don't like when people have to have everyone drinking to enjoy themselves having a few drinks. It makes me think they need everyone drinking so they don't feel guilty about their own drinking habits.

Talib Fiasco

You have some very weird friends

Mackas_view

Get this quite a bit aswell actually but you get used to it I just say it doesn't mix well with my trainin and they usually give over. I avoid pubs when I'm not drinkin because i feel like I'm a black sheep. Constantly being asked why I'm not drinkin. And here I am just me and John Rambo on this fine Saturday night, no stupid question or childish remarks just two men who understand each other. 😂

I'm not a drinker. If anyone tries to shame or harass me into drinking, I write them off as an idiot. I don't come across it much anymore, but I used to in Uni. It's ridiculous anyone should be cornered into feeling defensive about it.

justchecked

Just say doctors orders.

A lot of the time these people are just shooting the sht and lack anything to talk about. Desperate for something to say to make smalltalk they latch onto the not drinking thing. Especially after a few drinks.

annamosullivan

@Drakares-Yes, I've experienced the same thing as you. Over the years, I've learnt to stick to my guns, not drink alcohol, yet still socialise madly with others when I'm out to prove that I'm not unsociable, that I don't need alcohol to have a great night. Also have given the "I'm driving/got stuff to do for family" excuse as well. Also have learned to ignore people when they got obnoxious with me over not having alcohol. Never had the experience of the people I'm with ordering alcohol for me, when I didn't want to drink, but then I'm a woman, there may be more pressure for a man to have alcohol on a night out, for all I know. I think that us non-drinkers get grief over not drinking, as we're showing up other people's lifestyle choices or they're not comfortable with anyone else doing things or living differently to them. Would say to stick to your guns.

Shandashey

Its worn as a bad of honour by some, others don't pay attention. In this day and age, if you cant go out and make your own choices you've got more going on than you would care to admit X

the_monkey

I got it too, it's an Irish thing unfortunately ... I remember when I was in college I used to hang around with these jokers and once in a club when I needed to take a break (cos I just couldn't keep up) when it was my round
I got the other lads coke + vodka/whisky etc .. but just a Coke for myself,
one of the lads suspected, sniffed my drink and went back to the bar and bought a shot of vodka and dumped it in.

Then he gave it back to me and I had to drink it - well not forced but you know to avoid an argument I did.

Needless to say after that night out didn't hang around with them much.

wil

Drakares wrote: »

Anyone else experienced this?

More times than I'm the only one can care to remember.

"You're Irish if you're not not drinking coz you're on antibiotics"
so true they made.a key ring, mug and beer mat of it.

Yeah, you can get an attitude of mistrust and dry shiete if youre not knocking back a skinfull. Many people can't begin to understand it might be possible to enjoy a night out without getting ossified

Seems an Irish thing, to a lesser extent in the uk, but quite the opposite in many Mediterranean and other countries. Met many nationalities who had never been drunk until they were brought on the obligatory works pissup while visiting.
At least in England if you said you were driving they'd pay for your mingerals in exchange for a lift home:pac: takes a lot longer for the pressure to ease off here. Had a friend who almost died of liver failure from alcohol, he practically had to have it laminated the amount of times he had to explain his not drinking.

Seeing your boss riding a bike locked to a lamppost, or a locked boss poured into a taxi (not the same boss), etc, etc, if it was USA, they'd be booked in to rehab, but here it's bonding.:rolleyes: My arse.

skittles8710

A lot.

the_syco

Drakares wrote: »

Once or twice things have actually gotten really heated where one guy I know told me to leave his house because I didn't feel like making myself sick with drink...

Perhaps it's best you left; he sounds like a prick.

boobar

I have a few friends that are just complete lushes. I try to avoid nights out with them as I'd feel sick as a parrot the next day.

I have been out with them where I tell them that I've had enough...and then it just turns into a battle of wills....

Go on, have another...
No thanks
You will
No thanks
You will
No thanks
You will
F&ck off, I said no
What's your problem,?

I much rather enjoy a few decent drinks like one or two nice glasses of wine than get completely mangled.

TheLastMohican

Why hang about places that sell alcohol if you're a TT? I mean drinkers don't hang around in cafes/dry houses.
Personally speaking, I'm not too keen in sharing nights out with people that just watch and take in.
And why do non drinkers get upset if drinkers give them the cold shoulder?
Why not hang with people of ye'r own ilk?Is it because the craic is better with drinkers.
PC heads, please don't reply with a load of pathetic guff

TheLastMohican

boobar wrote: »

I have a few friends that are just complete lushes. I try to avoid nights out with them as I'd feel I'll the next day.

I have been out with them where I tell them that I've had enough...and then it just turns into a battle of wills....

Go on, have another...
No thanks
You will
No thanks
You will
No thanks
You will
F&ck off, I said no
What's your problem,?



I much rather enjoy a few decent drinks like one or two nice glasses of wine than get completely mangled.

OK, whatever floats your boat. But why not hang with friends of similar outlook?

Tombi!

TheLastMohican wrote: »

Why hang about places that sell alcohol if you're a TT? I mean drinkers don't hang around in cafes/dry houses.
Personally speaking, I'm not too keen in sharing nights out with people that just watch and take in.
And why do non drinkers get upset if drinkers give them the cold shoulder?
Why not hang with people of ye'r own ilk?Is it because the craic is better with drinkers.
PC heads, please don't reply with a load of pathetic guff

You don't need to be a drinker to actually enjoy a night out.
I've been out a fair few times having 3-4 pints over the course of a night as in from 9-2:30 and gotten the questions about "oh you're not drinking more tonight?"
Main reason is: I've to be up early tomorrow and stuff, I'd rather not be in bits.

Craic isn't better with drinkers. It's not better with non-drinkers either.
It's better with people you like and get on with. Sometimes people just can't handle people not drinking and need them (the non-drinkers) to drink so that they (the people drinking) can have fun.

Whatsisname

Happens my friend alot, chose to never drink, for whatever reason, still hasn't touched a drop and he's 21. Always gets people hassling him over it or not taking him seriously when he says he doesnt drink. Even annoys me when people get onto him for it. Fair play to him I say, he's well able to have a laugh without it anyhow.

TheLastMohican

TheLastMohican wrote: »

Why hang about places that sell alcohol if you're a TT? I mean drinkers don't hang around in cafes/dry houses.
Personally speaking, I'm not too keen in sharing nights out with people that just watch and take in.
And why do non drinkers get upset if drinkers give them the cold shoulder?
Why not hang with people of ye'r own ilk?Is it because the craic is better with drinkers.
PC heads, please don't reply with a load of pathetic guff

Whew, thought I was alone! Though would never pressurise someone to drink...just more comfortable where everyone is getting drunk together. It's just more convivial. Same for drugs, if someone says no that's their choice, but why hang out with a crowd where everyone is taking something.

stinkle

I go through phases of not wanting/being able to drink - Ive been on meds that dont agree with it, have tried elimination diets for various issues. Sometimes I just dont want a drink, or have a legitimate reason for not wanting to be in bits the next day (am a total lightweight anyway, and if my health isnt right at times one drink will leave me feeling as bad as 10). It's a complete headwreck explaining that to people who demand a reason for something that I might want to keep private. Or worse, in my experience as a 30-something woman, the "knowing" looks when someone thinks its cos I'm pregnant or trying to conceive.

TheLastMohican

Yes, I understand. What I'm not keen on is non drinkers taking everything in at a party/pub etc. We all let our hair down occasionally and one of the reasons we drink is to accommodate that release. Can you visualise a party full of non drinkers? All weighing each other up?
And all afraid to drop the mask?


We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

languagenerd

TheLastMohican wrote: »

Why hang about places that sell alcohol if you're a TT? I mean drinkers don't hang around in cafes/dry houses.
Personally speaking, I'm not too keen in sharing nights out with people that just watch and take in.
And why do non drinkers get upset if drinkers give them the cold shoulder?
Why not hang with people of ye'r own ilk?Is it because the craic is better with drinkers.
PC heads, please don't reply with a load of pathetic guff

"Why hang about places that sell alcohol if you're a TT?"
Because you're out chatting with friends? Because you like the music and/or want to dance? Because a pub (a public house) is as good a place to socialise as any if you don't fancy inviting people round to yours? The fact that it sells alcohol isn't always the main consideration, you know.

"Drinkers don't hang around in cafes"
What, if you drink alcohol, you can't drink coffee too? And if you're going to use the cafe analogy, we may as well point out that lots of people who don't like coffee go to coffee shops to meet friends during the day/get lunch/have cake.

"And why do non-drinkers get upset if drinkers give them the cold shoulder?"
Eh, cause it's rude? Not to mention juvenile.

Fair enough if the sole aim of your night is to get drunk. Believe it or not, though, that's not everyone's aim. Most go out to socialise, catch up with friends, listen to music, dance and maybe meet new people. Some drink while doing all that, some don't, some are happier with one or two drinks to sip at than a rake of pints to knock back.

Life's easier all round when you focus on what's in your glass instead what's in anyone else's!

Hrududu

TheLastMohican wrote: »

Why hang about places that sell alcohol if you're a TT? I mean drinkers don't hang around in cafes/dry houses.
Personally speaking, I'm not too keen in sharing nights out with people that just watch and take in.

This is your reason right here. An awful lot of people are convinced that non drinkers are watching them all night long making a note of everything they're doing.

Turtwig

TheLastMohican wrote: »

Why hang about places that sell alcohol if you're a TT? I mean drinkers don't hang around in cafes/dry houses.
Personally speaking, I'm not too keen in sharing nights out with people that just watch and take in.
And why do non drinkers get upset if drinkers give them the cold shoulder?
Why not hang with people of ye'r own ilk?Is it because the craic is better with drinkers.
PC heads, please don't reply with a load of pathetic guff

Drinkers are fcking everywhere! Almost every occasion in Ireland has alcohol associated with it. By your logic non Drinkers shouldn't be anywhere!

TheLastMohican

languagenerd wrote: »

"Why hang about places that sell alcohol if you're a TT?"
Because you're out chatting with friends? Because you like the music and/or want to dance? Because a pub (a public house) is as good a place to socialise as any if you don't fancy inviting people round to yours? The fact that it sells alcohol isn't always the main consideration, you know.

"Drinkers don't hang around in cafes"
What, if you drink alcohol, you can't drink coffee too? And if you're going to use the cafe analogy, we may as well point out that lots of people who don't like coffee go to coffee shops to meet friends during the day/get lunch/have cake.

"And why do non-drinkers get upset if drinkers give them the cold shoulder?"
Eh, cause it's rude? Not to mention juvenile.

Fair enough if the sole aim of your night is to get drunk. Believe it or not, though, that's not everyone's aim. Most go out to socialise, catch up with friends, listen to music, dance and maybe meet new people. Some drink while doing all that, some don't, some are happier with one or two drinks to sip at than a rake of pints to knock back.

Life's easier all round when you focus on what's in your glass instead what's in anyone else's!

As a drinker, that's a tall order after a few large G&Ts

Where do you hear the most laughter ...... in a pub or in a non drinking establishment?

Turtwig

TheLastMohican wrote: »

As a drinker, that's a tall order after a few large G&Ts

Where do you hear the most laughter ...... in a pub or in a non drinking establishment?

In an auditorium when a comedian is on stage!

catallus

Well, a bird can't fly on one wing, I guess. Unless it's a penguin, but then it can swim.

TheLastMohican

Turtwig wrote: »

Drinkers are fcking everywhere! Almost every occasion in Ireland has alcohol associated with it. By your logic non Drinkers shouldn't be anywhere!

In a political system, democracy rules. That is the majority ..... get it?

Non drinkers are included but they should not try to impose their beliefs/hang ups on people who wish to enjoy themselves.

You've only got to look east of Constantinople to see what alcohol banning does to the brain.

languagenerd

TheLastMohican wrote: »

As a drinker, that's a tall order after a few large G&Ts

What, so after a few drinks, you're compelled to focus on what someone else is (not) drinking? In fairness, that's your problem, not the non-drinkers! :P

Where do you hear the most laughter ...... in a pub or in a non drinking establishment?

That depends on who's in either establishment :P

languagenerd

TheLastMohican wrote: »

Non drinkers are included but they should not try to impose their beliefs/hang ups on people who wish to enjoy themselves.

The irony, it burns! :pac:

TheLastMohican

languagenerd wrote: »

What, so after a few drinks, you're compelled to focus on what someone else is (not) drinking? In fairness, that's your problem, not the non-drinkers! :P



That depends on who's in either establishment :P

Well, gererally, non drinkers in non-drinking establishments and drinkers in pubs etc. Kinda easy that one.

darkpagandeath

It's not unique to Ireland.

obplayer

Drakares wrote: »

I have experienced this quite a bit.

When out with people in a pub /restaurant and I am not drinking alcohol either because I'm driving or just don't feel like it, there's inevitably at least one person that will proceed to get upset about it.

I'm either "ruining the craic", a "dry ****e", "under the thumb".. And every time the waiter comes by to take orders for a fresh round of drinks, one of the lads will say "No bring him a beer/whisky" or something stupid. Then when I say I'm driving, they're like "just one then".. Ehh No..

Once or twice things have actually gotten really heated where one guy I know told me to leave his house because I didn't feel like making myself sick with drink...

I have talked to other people who have experienced similar things and they always say that the types who need you to be drinking are idiots.. But in a lot of cases for me, they're good friends and intelligent people that just have this childish mentality that I cannot understand.. I mean, what bloody difference does it make what the hell I am drinking?!

Anyone else experienced this?

Why do you keep mixing with them? Why put up with them? I drink, (more than the government guidelines!), but I would never dream of pestering someone to take a drink and nor would I tolerate someone telling me to take alcohol when I choose not to.

languagenerd

TheLastMohican wrote: »

Well, gererally, non drinkers in non-drinking establishments and drinkers in pubs etc. Kinda easy that one.

Yes sir, no-one who drinks alcohol has ever gone into a cafe or attended a gig with no bar. (I'm assuming that's what you mean by "non-drinking establishment? Or do you think non-drinkers have clubhouses where they meet up and all not drink together? ) Likewise, no-one who doesn't want to drink has ever been in a pub or club. Never happens. Nope.

RayM

TheLastMohican wrote: »

Why hang about places that sell alcohol if you're a TT?

As someone who doesn't drink, I kind of agree with this. I haven't been in a pub in years, because I find drunk people a bit... boring. The idea of paying the guts of a fiver for an unrefrigerated fizzy drink, just to listen to people gradually becoming less and less interesting... well, it frankly doesn't appeal to me.

wil

TheLastMohican wrote: »

Yes, I understand. What I'm not keen on is non drinkers taking everything in at a party/pub etc. We all let our hair down occasionally and one of the reasons we drink is to accommodate that release. Can you visualise a party full of non drinkers? All weighing each other up?
And all afraid to drop the mask

That's a bit sad, I mean the fact that someone can feel unable, without being thrashed to drop whatever mask they have constructed in order to enjoy themself, and with so much paranoia that it has to be perceived to be among like minded, I can assure you the reason that some drink in similar company is because it can be so mind numbingly boring to observe and listen to what lies behind, that you'd need the whole bottle of JD to kill the time.
And as if you have a choice, as it's invariably some works do or some other construed event where attendance is mandatory.

But why does it seem predominantly here is like this? Why that mistrust?

I'm not knocking drinking, just that attitude you get from some that you are no fun unless you at least attempt to keep up with them no matter what.
I've been to crowded clubs on the continent where the amount of alcohol sold in the whole night would barely cover a round here, yet every one there was there to have fun.
I've had many a sober pub conversation with the hardest of Scots and English drinkers about the most fascinating, personal and shocking things and rarely got that same suspicion and attitude.
You're not interesting unless you're drinking.:rolleyes: my pale white freckled arse.

TheLastMohican

wil wrote: »

That's a bit sad, I mean the fact that someone can feel unable, without being thrashed to drop whatever mask they have constructed in order to enjoy themself, and with so much paranoia that it has to be perceived to be among like minded, I can assure you the reason that some drink in similar company is because it can be so mind numbingly boring to observe and listen to what lies behind, that you'd need the whole bottle of JD to kill the time.
And as if you have a choice, as it's invariably some works do or some other construed event where attendance is mandatory.

But why does it seem predominantly here is like this? Why that mistrust?

I'm not knocking drinking, just that attitude you get from some that you are no fun unless you at least attempt to keep up with them no matter what.
I've been to crowded clubs on the continent where the amount of alcohol sold in the whole night would barely cover a round here, yet every one there was there to have fun.
I've had many a sober pub conversation with the hardest of Scots and English drinkers about the most fascinating, personal and shocking things and rarely got that same suspicion and attitude.
You're not interesting unless you're drinking.:rolleyes: my pale white freckled arse.

Again, I hear you. "Ve vill enjhoy hourselfs", is the mantra of central Europeans ....... I worked there for 15 years.

The Irish ability to have the craic and be sociable is envied by lots of the visitors to our shores.

Overflow

TheLastMohican wrote: »

In a political system, democracy rules. That is the majority ..... get it?

Non drinkers are included but they should not try to impose their beliefs/hang ups on people who wish to enjoy themselves.

You've only got to look east of Constantinople to see what alcohol banning does to the brain.

How is being in your presence while not drinking considered imposing their beliefs/hang ups on you, when you are the one making an issue out of this person not drinking ?

Its plain an simple, crowd mentality, were all getting **** faced, this guy/girl isn't so therefor there must be something wrong with them. Your most likely just worried what this person will remember of you while you make a drunken tit out of yourself. Sure if everyone is locked there's a better chance they wont or someone else might make a bigger tit of themselves.

The Dogs Bollix

I can think of one time where we went to a place for the music. I was enjoying the music at the start of the night without drink. It's doctors orders that I can't drink and I wouldn't touch it because it doesn't agree with me. I was told to sit down because I was dancing like a duck. I couldn't give a ****. A while later they wanted to mix in alcohol into my 7-up because I was so dry and it was them dancing like an eejit by the end of the night. They ruined my night. I doubt no one else cared what I drank and how I danced and whether I needed 50 drinks to get up and move. It's always the people with you.

Sunnyisland

I find its just in Ireland that this pressure is put on , Anywhere I have being in Europe when asked what am I having may it be in a club or pub and I say green tea or sparkling water, no one bats an eyelid, only comments are get are I thought you were Irish...

boobar

TheLastMohican wrote: »

OK, whatever floats your boat. But why not hang with friends of similar outlook?

For the most part I enjoy their company, have lots of common interests, just don't like their attempts to persuade me to drink more.

Drakares

TheLastMohican wrote: »

Why hang about places that sell alcohol if you're a TT?

First off I'm not a TT and if I was, the argument is illogical anyway.

Why do you go to the Cinema or somewhere other than a pub if you drink alcohol?! Pubs are not just for getting plastered. They're for meeting people and friends.

If ones personality is so dull that they need alcohol to "have the craic" then it says a lot about them.

Galwayguy35

My brother never drank alcohol but when he was younger used to go to the pub with the rest of us, he got sick of it when idiots used to try and put vodka in this 7up when they thought he wasn't looking.

Dangerous carry on as he was the one who was obviously the driver on the night.

Turtwig

TheLastMohican wrote: »

Again, I hear you. "Ve vill enjhoy hourselfs", is the mantra of central Europeans ....... I worked there for 15 years.

The Irish ability to have the craic and be sociable is envied by lots of the visitors to our shores.

Is it? The arrogance of people who assume they're having a better time than others never ceases to amaze. How the Fck can someone tell who is having the better time? Everyone has different tastes and interests. Is a GAA match more exciting than cricket? Is Call of duty more exciting than FIFA? Everyones answers would vary according to their own tastes.

tomwaterford

I practically never drink and the 2 main people I go out with...would be heavy enough drinkers (20+vodkas on a night) and they'd think of nothing on it...if I just said I had enough and wouldn't be having any more(I'm very lightweight)....or if I was out and not drinking atal...they wouldn't care


But I wouldn't be the type to judge anyone on what they do when out drinking either.

TheLastMohican

The naysayers would have had a field day at Cana. Tut tutting their way, watching and making mental notes.

moc moc a moc

Tell them you don't want to end up an alcoholic like them.

languagenerd

TheLastMohican wrote: »

The naysayers would have had a field day at Cana. Tut tutting their way, watching and making mental notes.

Haha. Most non-drinkers aren't watching you, pal, you're really not that interesting!

TBH in my experience the people who "tut, watch and make mental notes" the most are not non-drinkers, but people like you who think everyone should be drinking as much as they are. It's kinda funny that those who "hate non-drinkers" usually say it's because they don't like people judging or commenting on what they're drinking. Ever occurred to you that you're the one doing that to them? :pac:

wil

TheLastMohican wrote: »

The naysayers would have had a field day at Cana. Tut tutting their way, watching and making mental notes.

Dont worry, a good skinfull should get you out of that frame of mind.:)

Who the hell stands around making mental drunk notes unless maybe they are writing a play.