We have to ban smacking

Rosie Gardens

A UK charity took Ireland to the European court because of our rules about smacking, and the EU totally agree with them.

I don't smack my kids, never have. To me there are far better ways to discipline MY kids. Now don't get me wrong, there are times I'd LOVE to give them a slap on the backside, but I don't, mostly because I recognise I'd be doing that out of anger, and that's not a state of mind IMO that you should slap a child.

I also recognise there is a difference between a tap on the backside and a beating. I did get a few slaps when I was a child, not that many, but I did get them, I will admit to it not doing me any harm, but it's one fundamental factor into why I don't give mine a slap, I don't think I learned from it, and once you DO find your childs currency discipline becomes significantly easier, in my opinion anyway.

What you lot think?

Tony Beetroot

Ban smoking also.

PopePalpatine

I'd say the same people who wouldn't shut up about children's rights during the marriage referendum are about to whine about this being "liberal oppression". :pac:

eviltwin

Rightly so. I've got two kids and never raised a hand to either of them. The eldest is now an adult and has never given me any trouble. This idea that not hitting somehow leads to delinquent teens is rubbish. It's lazy parenting to rely on it as your only source of discipline.

The_Valeyard

But the other half, she loves a bit of spanking now and then.

eviltwin

PopePalpatine wrote: »

I'd say the same people who wouldn't shut up about children's rights during the marriage referendum are about to whine about this being "liberal oppression". :pac:

This.

gramar

Why does a UK charity give a shoite about what our smacking rules? I didn't even know there were smacking rules. Are you in Ireland OP?

galljga1

I find roaring and shouting and generally terrifying the sh1t out of them works much better and don't let them near the phone.

Mint Aero

PopePalpatine wrote: »

I'd say the same people who wouldn't shut up about children's rights during the marriage referendum are about to whine about this being "liberal oppression". :pac:

TheDoctor

26 now and remember getting smacks/slaps of the wooden spoon when I was a child.
Completely against it, its basically another form of assault on a person.
Nothing positive can come from physical violence against another person.


Question: When did the original laws come in to stop smacking? This was happening to me in say the early to mid 90's
Wondering do I have a case against Mammy!!!

endacl

PopePalpatine wrote: »

I'd say the same people who wouldn't shut up about children's rights during the marriage referendum are about to whine about this being "liberal oppression". :pac:

Stop bullying meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

:pac:

Rosie Gardens

gramar wrote: »

Why does a UK charity give a shoite about what our smacking rules? I didn't even know there were smacking rules. Are you in Ireland OP?

I don't know why they did, I was a bit surprised meself when I seen it this morning. they looked at our laws, took it upon themselves to bring it to the EU. I do remember when it was outlawed in schools, but I don't remember it happening in the schools I went to in any case. I'm Irish based in Ireland working abroad.

anncoates

Rosie Gardens wrote: »

A UK charity took Ireland to the European court because of our rules about smacking, and the EU totally agree with them.

I don't smack my kids, never have. To me there are far better ways to discipline MY kids. Now don't get me wrong, there are times I'd LOVE to give them a slap on the backside, but I don't, mostly because I recognise I'd be doing that out of anger, and that's not a state of mind IMO that you should slap a child.

I also recognise there is a difference between a tap on the backside and a beating. I did get a few slaps when I was a child, not that many, but I did get them, I will admit to it not doing me any harm, but it's one fundamental factor into why I don't give mine a slap, I don't think I learned from it, and once you DO find your childs currency discipline becomes significantly easier, in my opinion anyway.

What you lot think?

For somebody browbeating other parents about supposed loss of control/violence, your scattergun use of caps makes you sound quite intemperate and hectoring yourself.

The_Valeyard

Many a time I was got with the Irish mammies nuclear weapon -the wooden spoon. Same with other family members, same with my mates, same with he neighbours kids......


Everyone turned out fine, no emotional trauma, no rocking backwards in the corner of a room.

So I am very much undecided on this issue.
But the EU can have the middle finger in telling us what to do.

kunst nugget

galljga1 wrote: »

I find roaring and shouting and generally terrifying the sh1t out of them works much better and don't let them near the phone.

I just use passive-aggressive behaviour instead to do the psychological damage.

Captain Chaos

Personally I think lack of this is a problem with the latest generation running a muck. If I did something wrong I got a smack, didn't do it again. Parents today just tell their kids to stop being bold and the kid just carries on regardless, no deterrent. I see it every day and think to myself if acted even slightly like this I'd be walloped into behaving myself and I would do it.

Rosie Gardens

Rosie Gardens wrote: »

I don't smack my kids, never have. To me there are far better ways to discipline MY kids. Now don't get me wrong, there are times I'd LOVE to give them a slap on the backside, but I don't, mostly because I recognise I'd be doing that out of anger, and that's not a state of mind IMO that you should slap a child.

There's the thing, slapping out of anger isn't the right way to do it. When ya see something like a kid running towards a road and the parent catching them and hitting them it's wrong because it was the parent's fault and they're letting emotion get the better of them.

The odd slap here and there really isn't a big deal and conflating a slap on the arse with a battering is just ridiculous.

osarusan

Slapping isn't the worst. It's stabbing that should be banned.

Although saying that my parents gave me a few stabs now and then as a child and I can't say it did me any harm.

anncoates

The idea that a ban on smacking can actually be enforced is a bit laughable. As in smacking to the extent that wouldn't be covered by assault, obviously.

Do you honestly think somebody is going to get sent to jail or fined for smacking a child on the arse a few times? Or that the word of a minor will be taken as sufficient proof.

Rosie Gardens

anncoates wrote: »

For somebody browbeating other parents about supposed loss of control/violence, your scattergun use of caps makes you sound quite intemperate and hectoring yourself.

No browbeating of anyone. If you're feeling that my dear, probably says more about you!

anncoates

Rosie Gardens wrote: »

If you're feeling that my dear, probably says more about you!

Passive aggression now. The full amoury, eh.

Rosie Gardens

anncoates wrote: »

Passive aggression now. The full amoury, eh.

Slightly over sensitive and patronising aren't ya?

Captain Chaos

Captain Chaos wrote: »

Personally I think lack of this is a problem with the latest generation running a muck. If I did something wrong I got a smack, didn't do it again. Parents today just tell their kids to stop being bold and the kid just carries on regardless, no deterrent. I see it every day and think to myself if acted even slightly like this I'd be walloped into behaving myself and I would do it.

Send them to Borstal, worked well before! :P

Tombi!

I'd appreciate it. At least so kids aren't been given beatings that'd put a professional boxer to shame.

I'm aware not all parents that do favour hitting their children are going to beat them but it'd still be nice to give kids the same protection adults have

kunst nugget

Deleted User wrote: »

There's the thing, slapping out of anger isn't the right way to do it. When ya see something like a kid running towards a road and the parent catching them and hitting them it's wrong because it was the parent's fault and they're letting emotion get the better of them.

The odd slap here and there really isn't a big deal and conflating a slap on the arse with a battering is just ridiculous.

I'm not sure how slapping that isn't out of anger is any better…

kunst nugget

kunst nugget wrote: »

I'm not sure how slapping that isn't out of anger is any better…

It's like training a dog, ya don't punish them for your mistake.

CruelCoin

There's a massive difference between a beating and a light slap on the back of the hand.

There are some things need punishment that goes beyond the naughty step.

The naughty step, witholding of treats/internet/etc is obviously the first recourse, but i reserve my right as a parent to discipline my children anyway i see fit, regardless how the jobsworths in brussels see it.

kunst nugget

Deleted User wrote: »

It's like training a dog, ya don't punish them for your mistake.

Ha, grand. If you equate raising a child to training a dog, you're doing it wrong…

eviltwin

anncoates wrote: »

The idea that a ban on smacking can actually be enforced is a bit laughable. As in smacking to the extent that wouldn't be covered by assault, obviously.

Do you honestly think somebody is going to get sent to jail or fined for smacking a child on the arse a few times? Or that the word of a minor will be taken as sufficient proof.

It's not really about that, it's about making the idea of slapping socially unacceptable so people self police.

Un Croissant

Is there anything more pathetic than someone slapping their kids in public?

Maybe a loud alcoholic..

Often times they are one and the same.

That's Limerick city!!

CruelCoin

CruelCoin wrote: »

There's a massive difference between a beating and a light slap on the back of the hand.

There are some things need punishment that goes beyond the naughty step.

The naughty step, witholding of treats/internet/etc is obviously the first recourse, but i reserve my right as a parent to discipline my children anyway i see fit, regardless how the jobsworths in brussels see it.

Would explaining what they're doing wrong not come before the naughty step?

And really, there should be no limit at all on what parents do to their kids?

punisher5112

Why ban smacking I really do like a spanking.

Smack to the left smack to right oh yeah.

anncoates

Rosie Gardens wrote: »

Slightly over sensitive and patronising aren't ya?

It's the internet. Anybody can project a perfect persona. That why you have bellicose preachers of pacifism, intolerant defenders of tolerance and so on.

kunst nugget

kunst nugget wrote: »

Ha, grand. If you equate raising a child to training a dog, you're doing it wrong…

Kids are dumb.
Consistency is key. Sometimes they won't understand what they've done wrong so just making it clear that it's wrong is the next best thing.

Dyr

Slap early, slap often say I

Rosie Gardens

anncoates wrote: »

The idea that a ban on smacking can actually be enforced is a bit laughable. As in smacking to the extent that wouldn't be covered by assault, obviously.

Do you honestly think somebody is going to get sent to jail or fined for smacking a child on the arse a few times? Or that the word of a minor will be taken as sufficient proof.

You're right. It would be almost impossible to be enforced, but surely it would take doubt away, 'I was reprimanding my child with slap and out of sheer accident I broke his bones' type defence in cases of child abuse. That might be slightly melodramatic, but it would remove all doubt.

anncoates

Deleted User wrote: »

Would explaining what they're doing wrong not come before the naughty step?

Used the time out many times before myself with my son.

It wasn't really about punishment as such, more taking them away from the heat of the scene as it were and letting them cool off.

Mostly worked for us.

Rosie Gardens

anncoates wrote: »

It's the internet. Anybody can project a perfect persona. That why you have bellicose preachers of pacifism, intolerant defenders of tolerance and so on.

Glad being patronising is working out for ya there.

anncoates

Rosie Gardens wrote: »

'I was reprimanding my child with slap and out of sheer accident I broke his bones' type defence in cases of child abuse.

That's clearly assault though.

anncoates

anncoates wrote: »

Used the time out many times before myself with my son.

It wasn't really about punishment as such, more taking them away from the heat of the scene as it were and letting them cool off.

Mostly worked for us.

Yeah fair enough.

mfceiling

So your child makes a dart to run out on the road or deliberately slaps or bites a sibling...come here til we have a 30 minute talk about your behaviour...now I'll get down to your level and we'll talk about it maturely.

Or...a smack on the arse?

I very rarely smack my kids but sometimes the 7 year old won't have a rational debate on the merits or wrongs of their behaviour.

kunst nugget

Deleted User wrote: »

Kids are dumb.
Consistency is key. Sometimes they won't understand what they've done wrong so just making it clear that it's wrong is the next best thing.

If you think they don't understand what they've done is wrong what makes you think they are going to link what they've done with the punishment you're giving them?

Consistency is key but why do you think smacking needs to be part of that consistency?

whisky_galore

eviltwin wrote: »

It's not really about that, it's about making the idea of slapping socially unacceptable so people self police.

Do you think that people will intervene when parents strike their kids or will they just give 'the look of disapproval'/roll the eyes and just move on?


Why is hitting* a child 'ok', because you have to correct him/her because she/he doesn't know any better...and say hitting an adult dependant with learning difficulties not 'ok' and the Guards get called?

*(by hit I mean a clip on the ear or something minor, which could be defined as 'reasonable chastisement' under current Irish law, and by 'ok' I do not necessarily agree that it is 'ok')

Buona Fortuna

The_Valeyard wrote: »

So I am very much undecided on this issue.
But the EU can have the middle finger in telling us what to do.

Doesn't make a great placard though

"Hands off EU. Let us beat our kids.

Rosie Gardens

anncoates wrote: »

That's clearly assault though.

Absolutely, but how many times have we seen and heard of the cases that social workers put on the long finger because they were told it was a slap, to find the child had been in and out of A&E with broken bones etc; I get hospitals should be much more involved in reporting this sort of thing, but they're clearly not, so this give a better definition as slapping just won't be allowed, so reasonable chastisement is no longer an arguement.

eviltwin

Seeing an adult hit a little kid is disgusting

anncoates

mfceiling wrote: »

I very rarely smack my kids but sometimes the 7 year old won't have a rational debate on the merits or wrongs of their behaviour.

I know it sounds awful but sometimes these days, you get the feeling some parents seem to have gone to the other extreme from the (wrong) spare rod:spoil child mania of our youth to operating quasi household democracies instead of parent-child relationships.

At the end of the day, we'll eventually stand judged for how we rear our ids and no amount of internet debate will change that.

kunst nugget

kunst nugget wrote: »

If you think they don't understand what they've done is wrong what makes you think they are going to link what they've done with the punishment you're giving them?

Same reason you praise them and treat them when they do things right.

Un Croissant

Things I've learned from AH:

Pregnancies resulting from rape are widespread and a huge societal problem.

Millions of children run for the road at every oppurtunity.

anncoates

Rosie Gardens wrote: »

Absolutely, but how many times have we seen and heard of the cases that social workers put on the long finger because they were told it was a slap, to find the child had been in and out of A&E with broken bones etc; I get hospitals should be much more involved in reporting this sort of thing, but they're clearly not, so this give a better definition as slapping just won't be allowed, so reasonable chastisement is no longer an arguement.

You're still conflating smacking with assault/broken bones.

There's an entirely valid argument to be made against smacking but that's not it.

wallywhittle

A good kick up the hole and on your way, it's the only thing young people understand these days