Communion season in full flow...parents question

buck65

I was talking to someone today whose daughter is having her 1st Holy Communion on Saturday, all set - dress bought, restaurant booked, party afterwards etc. etc. but her parents don't go to mass or seem to be too bothered about religion.

Do parents get back into Church ways following the communion whilst the child is growing up or does it all go out the window again after a week or 2 (or when the money's spent)

This isn't meant to be a religious discussion just interested in the aftermath of Communions.

Lollipops23

buck65 wrote: »

Do parents get back into Church ways following the communion whilst the child is growing up or does it all go out the window again after a week or 2 (or when the money's spent)

It's been that way for donkeys.

My aul pair aren't religious but still made me do the whole communion/confo thing.

anncoates

buck65 wrote: »

This isn't meant to be a religious discussion.

Good luck with that.

MagicIRL

Child makes a bucket load of cash, guests think you're the bees knees at hosting parties, what's not to like?

dreamers75

Kids aware of more than 1 religion and that god doesnt exist in any form, they knew this before communion so then we asked if they wanted to make theirs.

None have said no yet .....wonder why :pac:

zeffabelli

buck65 wrote: »

I was talking to someone today whose daughter is having her 1st Holy Communion on Saturday, all set - dress bought, restaurant booked, party afterwards etc. etc. but her parents don't go to mass or seem to be too bothered about religion.

Do parents get back into Church ways following the communion whilst the child is growing up or does it all go out the window again after a week or 2 (or when the money's spent)

This isn't meant to be a religious discussion just interested in the aftermath of Communions.

No.

It's peer pressure so your child is not excluded, you know because Catholic schools are so inclusive and compassionate......they just make the non believers sit out on a chair somewhere.

SO much kindness displayed by 1st Holy Communion.

wendell borton

Stalin would approve, maybe we should have some show trials....oh wait communion you say.

buck65

zeffabelli wrote: »

No.

It's peer pressure so your child is not excluded, you know because Catholic schools are so inclusive and compassionate......they just make the non believers sit out on a chair somewhere.

SO much kindness displayed by 1st Holy Communion.

My son goes to a non denominational school so if he wants to make his Communion he has to go to another school/church for the day.

keano_afc

Kids get to dress up, make a few quid, folks get sloshed. Ask 99% of parents what it symbolizes and you'd probably get a reply of "do you want another can?"

redbel05

Depends on the parents. I have known one or two families who did make an effort to get back into religious ways after their child made their communion, but many more who didn't. One of the local priests does a thing where both the children and the parents do a kind of religious preparation on the run up to the day and think it helps for some...

homewardbound11

buck65 wrote: »

I was talking to someone today whose daughter is having her 1st Holy Communion on Saturday, all set - dress bought, restaurant booked, party afterwards etc. etc. but her parents don't go to mass or seem to be too bothered about religion.

Do parents get back into Church ways following the communion whilst the child is growing up or does it all go out the window again after a week or 2 (or when the money's spent)

This isn't meant to be a religious discussion just interested in the aftermath of Communions.

As an exhausted parent after a communion yesterday. It is very hard not to answer your question without bringing into it religious belief and Catholicism.

Personally like all things these days we as parents overdo the whole thing and the idea/ indoctrination process of the religion is lost .
Having said that I thoroughly enjoyed the local priests ceremony yesterday.

-) first wholly communion will not change the parent into a mass goer.

-) I would like to know is there other religions with a similar process for young children .
-) isn't it more important to be a good person in both the community and family life. To word it a "good Christian .".and to ensure your children do the same.

eviltwin

My daughter made hers in 2003, it was a day out. We'd never been to church and never went back. I wouldn't do it now and wish we hadn't done it at all but at the time it was the done thing.

Flood

homewardbound11 wrote: »

As an exhausted parent after a communion yesterday.

Drank too much vino?

Nodin

buck65 wrote: »

I was talking to someone today whose daughter is having her 1st Holy Communion on Saturday, all set - dress bought, restaurant booked, party afterwards etc. etc. but her parents don't go to mass or seem to be too bothered about religion.

Do parents get back into Church ways following the communion whilst the child is growing up or does it all go out the window again after a week or 2 (or when the money's spent)

This isn't meant to be a religious discussion just interested in the aftermath of Communions.

The majority would be the bolded section, in my experience.

Gatling

The following sentence will say it all.





"it's all about the Money "

Nothing more and nothing less

Fudge You

homewardbound11 wrote: »

Personally like all things these days we as parents overdo the whole thing and the idea/ indoctrination process of the religion is lost .

You are a parent, an adult. You make the choices.
And by the sounds of it, you made some kinda silly ones, in regards to the communion.

Sunny Dayz

In the year my son was making his First Communion we definitely went to mass more often. There were special masses arranged for the communion children. But we would have gone to mass before this anyway, just not every Sunday, but at least once a month and also for special occasions and anniversaries.


I have found that since my son made his communion he is less interested in going to mass, especially in the last few months. I think the communion preparation masses were good, certainly more engaging for the congregation. Regular Sunday mass has no interest for most children or even adults. It also tends to be left up to me to say right we'll go to mass this Sunday, or so-and-so's anniversary mass is on, we should go to it. My husband never suggests going to mass so the religious responsibility is left up to me.

Sunny Dayz

My son was at a birthday party at the weekend at a leisure centre (bowling, play areas, laser quest, etc) . When I went to collect him, there were a few parents who had their kids dumped in the play area while they sat in the bar drinking.

readyletsgo

If you christen your child, they are added to the live register of Christians. Not going to church then until your kid has 1st holy communion, which, if you have a daughter, you are presenting your small child as a bride of God, which is weird in my eyes, not sure about boys, prob just involved. But that keeps the numbers up for the church for a day. And all the kids think of is the money and a part. Which in fairness, they make a ton on the day.

So in my eyes, if you are not practising Christians or full church goers you should not Christian you child to add to the dead numbers of christans in the world and let your child decide what religion they want to be part of, if any or none.

I know a couple parents that had 1st holy communion over the years, not Christian so decided to get there kid some nice clothes for the day and bring them out for a meal or somethin.

At the end of the day, it's just a 'keep the numbers up' without parents even realizing it.

Fudge You

readyletsgo wrote: »

if you have a daughter, you are presenting your small child as a bride of God, which is weird in my eyes,

Ahhh JJJJaysus Chhhhrist*



*In Des Curly's voice from the Snapper.

Santa Cruz

eviltwin wrote: »

My daughter made hers in 2003, it was a day out. We'd never been to church and never went back. I wouldn't do it now and wish we hadn't done it at all but at the time it was the done thing.

In other words you were incapable of making up your own mind and acted like sheep.

suicide_circus

Parents getting shiite faced in the company of their kids, just like in biblical times.

eviltwin

Santa Cruz wrote: »

In other words you were incapable of making up your own mind and acted like sheep.

Yes

No_Comply

eviltwin wrote: »

My daughter made hers in 2003, it was a day out. We'd never been to church and never went back. I wouldn't do it now and wish we hadn't done it at all but at the time it was the done thing.

Santa Cruz wrote: »

In other words you were incapable of making up your own mind and acted like sheep.

It's still the done thing.

Too easy to sit there after the fact and say that. I don't believe for a second you wouldn't do again.

eviltwin

No_Comply wrote: »

It's still the done thing.

Too easy to sit there after the fact and say that. I don't believe for a second you wouldn't do again.

I didn't do it again. Child number 2 wasn't baptised and won't be making his communion.

Pumpkinseeds

I think it's just a default thing for most parents. They have the child baptised because 'it's what you do' and there's also the party that every single person they know is invited to and expected to bring a gift. It's the same with Communion. We had an invitation from my husband's niece to attend her daughters christening in the UK last year. She hasn't been in a church since her first kid was christened and the time before that was when she was christened herself 20 odd years before that. We didn't go.

branie2

When I made my communion, I had just had a meal out and visited relatives

LordSutch

Gatling wrote: »

The following sentence will say it all.


"it's all about the Money "

Nothing more and nothing less

That is a disgrace, a total disgrace, and just what are the parents thinking of

Many children will get confirmed in the C of I when they're fourteen/fifteen years old (no money involved), no stretch limos, no mini wedding dresses/suits, or fake tan either, just a religious ceremony which they should have a greater understanding of at that age. Surely at seven years of age the kids have little or no understanding of the religious significance of the ceremony?

zeffabelli

LordSutch wrote: »

That is a disgrace, a total disgrace, and just what are the parents thinking of

Many children will get confirmed in the C of I when they're fourteen/fifteen years old (no money involved), no stretch limos, no mini wedding dresses/suits, or fake tan either, just a religious ceremony which they should have a greater understanding of at that age. Surely at seven years of age the kids have little or no understanding of the religious significance of the ceremony?

It's because Catholics like pageantry. Look at JFK...only Catholic president and they nicknamed it Camelot.

Look at all the display teh Spanish do.

Protestants aren't like that.

Lollipops23

I was only chatting to my best mate earlier about how she's not planning on christening her kid-she's pregnant on her first now. She knows it's gonna provide all sorts of hurdles down the line for enrolling in schools etc but reckons if they cave over it, they'll be becoming part of the problem.

DareGod

buck65 wrote: »

I was talking to someone today whose daughter is having her 1st Holy Communion on Saturday, all set - dress bought, restaurant booked, party afterwards etc. etc. but her parents don't go to mass or seem to be too bothered about religion.

Do parents get back into Church ways following the communion whilst the child is growing up or does it all go out the window again after a week or 2 (or when the money's spent)

This isn't meant to be a religious discussion just interested in the aftermath of Communions.

What a topic to be interested in.

cloud493

Eh, we were going to church anyway. Funny seeing all the parents who never show up to church all dressed up for it though :pac:

haveringchick

zeffabelli wrote: »

No.

It's peer pressure so your child is not excluded, you know because Catholic schools are so inclusive and compassionate......they just make the non believers sit out on a chair somewhere.

SO much kindness displayed by 1st Holy Communion.

Should the Catholic ethos school that you picked for your child not do First Eucharist just so your child doesn't feel left out?

zeffabelli

haveringchick wrote: »

Should the Catholic ethos school that you picked for your child not do First Eucharist just so your child doesn't feel left out?

I didn't pick anything out.

And no they shouldn't do first eucharist, it doesn't belong in education. It's voo doo.

Shenshen

haveringchick wrote: »

Should the Catholic ethos school that you picked for your child not do First Eucharist just so your child doesn't feel left out?

I don't have kids so I realise I'm utterly unqualified for this discussion, but if I had and wanted them to attend a non-denominational school, I'd have to drive them there, 20 miles in the morning and 20 miles back. In the opposite direction to my workplace.

zeffabelli

Shenshen wrote: »

I don't have kids so I realise I'm utterly unqualified for this discussion, but if I had and wanted them to attend a non-denominational school, I'd have to drive them there, 20 miles in the morning and 20 miles back. In the opposite direction to my workplace.

That's if they had room....big waiting lists.

zeffabelli

Lollipops23 wrote: »

I was only chatting to my best mate earlier about how she's not planning on christening her kid-she's pregnant on her first now. She knows it's gonna provide all sorts of hurdles down the line for enrolling in schools etc but reckons if they cave over it, they'll be becoming part of the problem.

She will be in a double bind.

They do, at least where I am, demand baptismal certificates.

The Protestant ones want to know you are part of the congregation. The multi denominations have long waiting lists and are usually just in Dublin and maybe Cork too.

Ireland had an exemption when it joined the EU to continue practising both gender and religious segregation and discrimination.

Baggy Trousers

buck65 wrote: »

I was talking to someone today whose daughter is having her 1st Holy Communion on Saturday, all set - dress bought, restaurant booked, party afterwards etc. etc. but her parents don't go to mass or seem to be too bothered about religion.

Do parents get back into Church ways following the communion whilst the child is growing up or does it all go out the window again after a week or 2 (or when the money's spent)

To answer your question, many parents have to pretend to be religious and regular mass goers before communion but abandon it again soon after. By confirmation, they couldn't care less and these days the kids even know by 5th/6th class that the whole religion thing is very dubious.

NIMAN

eviltwin wrote: »

I didn't do it again. Child number 2 wasn't baptised and won't be making his communion.

Do you mind if I ask of this caused much hassle among your two families?

Is child 2 at school yet? If so, which type of school and much hassle getting that organised?

Lollipops23

zeffabelli wrote: »

Ireland had an exemption when it joined the EU to continue practising both gender and religious segregation and discrimination.

Think she already has his name down for the nearest Educate Together. She's in Dublin.

Baggy Trousers

zeffabelli wrote: »

She will be in a double bind.

They do, at least where I am, demand baptismal certificates.

I am not so sure anymore...2 primary schools near us will ask twice for baptismal certs - once before school starts and once after school starts...but they don't really care - they care more about numbers and teacher/student ratios. Most schools will stop asking after the 2nd time.

Bottom line, ignore them and they will drop the "demand".

They will not kick out a child after it has started school so don't use it as an excuse to baptise or not if you do not believe.

zeffabelli

Baggy Trousers wrote: »

I am not so sure anymore...2 primary schools near us will ask twice for baptismal certs - once before school starts and once after school starts...but they don't really care - they care more about numbers and teacher/student ratios. Most schools will stop asking after the 2nd time.

Bottom line, ignore them and they will drop the "demand".

They will not kick out a child after it has started school so don't use it as an excuse to baptise or not if you do not believe.

Ah yeah but with such high numbers they can discriminate all they like and use the cert for criteria for admission.

Nodin

LordSutch wrote: »

That is a disgrace, a total disgrace, and just what are the parents thinking of

Many children will get confirmed in the C of I when they're fourteen/fifteen years old (no money involved), no stretch limos, no mini wedding dresses/suits, or fake tan either, just a religious ceremony which they should have a greater understanding of at that age. Surely at seven years of age the kids have little or no understanding of the religious significance of the ceremony?

What kind of mad cult is this??????????????

gravehold

buck65 wrote: »

I was talking to someone today whose daughter is having her 1st Holy Communion on Saturday, all set - dress bought, restaurant booked, party afterwards etc. etc. but her parents don't go to mass or seem to be too bothered about religion.

Do parents get back into Church ways following the communion whilst the child is growing up or does it all go out the window again after a week or 2 (or when the money's spent)

This isn't meant to be a religious discussion just interested in the aftermath of Communions.

Don't send your kids to a cathloic school if you don't want them to do Catholic stuff. This is the parents fault if they have problem with this

eviltwin

NIMAN wrote: »

Do you mind if I ask of this caused much hassle among your two families?

Is child 2 at school yet? If so, which type of school and much hassle getting that organised?

No, I was still a semi mass goer when the first was born but by the time the second was born the abuse scandals had been exposed and I couldn't stay. My belief in God was gone by then too so we decided to cut all ties with religion. It caused major problems with my side of the family, his didn't care. They are over it now though. My son is in the local ET, I put his name down while in was still pregnant but we were still lucky to get a place

eviltwin

gravehold wrote: »

Don't send your kids to a cathloic school if you don't want them to do Catholic stuff. This is the parents fault if they have problem with this

Easier said than done.

Baggy Trousers

zeffabelli wrote: »

Ah yeah but with such high numbers they can discriminate all they like and use the cert for criteria for admission.

There are also high numbers of new schools (mainly Gaelscoils and ET) so they are all competing. Again I doubt many schools will absolutely demand a baptismal cert before the start date. If they will ask - just say you lost it in a fire and need to order a new one. Blame the Devil or some such.

I heard of one 2nd class recently in a good urban school with 26 children where 12 did not do the communion for whatever reason. I thought that was a huge number but the school had no issue finding activities for the other children who if I recall correctly were called the "starlight" children so as not to discriminate or something. In fact I heard those children got to do their homework during school hours leaving more time for leisure time. Win win.

gravehold

eviltwin wrote: »

Easier said than done.

There is home school if you want to stand up to moral grounds and don't want to drive to the closest school. If you hate the cathloic chruch don't send your kids to their schools.

Baggy Trousers

gravehold wrote: »

There is home school if you want to stand up to moral grounds and don't want to drive to the closest school. If you hate the cathloic chruch don't send your kids to their schools.

Ah now, most Catholic schools aren't very "catholic" anymore. Most young teachers try and keep the supernatural to a minimum.

RobbieTheRobber

gravehold wrote: »

There is home school if you want to stand up to moral grounds and don't want to drive to the closest school. If you hate the cathloic chruch don't send your kids to their schools.

Yeah are they really their schools? Aren't these schools entirely state funded?

zeffabelli

Baggy Trousers wrote: »

Ah now, most Catholic schools aren't very "catholic" anymore. Most young teachers try and keep the supernatural to a minimum.

You'd be surprised.