Should we feed the band??

MelanieC

We are thinking of booking a wedding band who do a full day package. So they'll do drinks reception music,regular band after the meal & then dj. I'm just wondering as they'll be there for the day instead of just arriving after dinner,do you think we should give them the wedding meal too? Otherwise what are they going to do for those couple of hours while the meal & speeches are going on?

It might be a bit weird tho coz we don't know them & we're only having a very small wedding with family & close friends! Anyone else encountered this? What do ye think??

CaraMay

I would offer. They may have it in another room? What type of venue is it?

Milly33

I would nearly say yes offer dinner.

Even if it is a small wedding, they by the sounds of it they are going to be with ye all day so ye will probably get to know them through out the day...

It would be nice to offer, we have a band coming down from up the country now just for the evening music but were offering them food and a place to stay

Here Comes The Trio

I don't think you're obliged to feed them, and certainly not the full wedding meal in the same room as you.
Is there a bar in your venue? We have occasionally been treated to a dinner from the bar menu (we do ceremony and drinks reception though so different timings), which the couple would pay for but is much cheaper than the wedding meal. They can definitely eat in another room, either from the bar or maybe just the main course from the wedding meal. They may also prefer to just get away for the middle o the evening and have a break, if you're central to somewhere interesting they might just go to the local town or something. If you're having afters food too, many offer this to their bands as well. But if they wanted dinner they would have specified it, so it's up to you.

littlenubbin85

If it's a full day package, you should really feed them. It doesn't have to be from your wedding menu, you could offer them food from the bar menu.

You are paying them (handsomely, no doubt) to do a job. Do you give your plumber or painter a 4/5 course meal when he does some work for you, or do you show them where the tea and biscuits are? Does your employer buy your lunch?

If they were offering their services for nothing then feed them otherwise, they are just doing their job and should take care of themselves.

seventeen sheep

I think it would be weird to have them at a table at the actually wedding reception but I would probably tell them to go get bar food and arrange for the hotel to bill you for it afterwards. Alternatively (if you're afraid they could take the piss and order a load of pints or something!) you could have a voucher ready to give to them to cover their meal, say approx €10 per band member.

haveringchick

I definitely wouldn't be expecting to feed the band. Presumably you've agreed a fee for their services. They have written meals petrol etc into this fee. Absolutely ridiculous to be offering food on top of this.

galljga1

Generally, if you treat people well, they will reciprocate regardless of whether they are plumbers, painters or a band, might play a bit later. I would not have them in the main room but provide a meal off the bar menu or something similar. I would not want them there and I would say they would not want to be there either.

clint_silver

It depends on the venue and location. A lot of venues have a hotel bar , where band and photo/video guys who are there all day and can't really leave can get something themselves and happy to do so.

Some venues do not. They're miles from anything and only serve the wedding food with no other menu. In this case, maybe yes. But agree with hotel it's just a mains meal with a tea/coffee, not a full price wedding meal.
Personally I discuss with clients when booking and sort it out then as part of contracts. If it's a full day thing and I know it's a venue without a separate menu then I ask couple to do as above, at which time they ask the question "are we expected to pay for this" and the answer is "no, I wouldn't turn it down, but you are not expected to pay for it". I do know some service providors build it into their contract though.
Hotels well used to this.
If I know the hotel has another bar I might not bring this up, on the day I ask the hotel manager is somewhere I can get some food, more times than not I get a plate brought out in the foyer. We all have to work together.

Wabbit Ears

Strawberry Milkshake wrote:

If they were offering their services for nothing then feed them otherwise, they are just doing their job and should take care of themselves.

haveringchick wrote:

I definitely wouldn't be expecting to feed the band. Presumably you've agreed a fee for their services. They have written meals petrol etc into this fee. Absolutely ridiculous to be offering food on top of this.

How people treat those providing them a service screams volumes about the sort of person they are.

Anyone in my house be they family, friends, workmen or otherwise at lunchtime gets offered lunch and even if they decline I make extra for them anyway. Anyone there at dinnertime gets offers dinner and again, If they decline I make extra in case.

This is just plain manners and being a good host and a good person.

Tell them there is a food tab at the bar and they can use it or not.

Cushie Butterfield

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

How people treat those providing them a service screams volumes about the sort of person they are.

Anyone in my house be they family, friends, workmen or otherwise at lunchtime gets offered lunch and even if they decline I make extra for them anyway. Anyone there at dinnertime gets offers dinner and again, If they decline I make extra in case.

This is just plain manners and being a good host and a good person.

Tell them there is a food tab at the bar and they can use it or not.

Should the band give the couple a wedding present?

It doesn't matter what sort of person the OP is & they're not having the reception in their home. The OP is hosting the event for their friends, family & invited guests - not the hired help. They are having it in a venue for which they have to pay for out of their savings.

Yes it would be a nice gesture to offer food at the bar, but not doing so doesn't reflect on the OP's character.

skallywag

I would think it decent of you to offer to pay for a meal for them, but I would certainly not offer to seat them with the wedding group. They are going to have no interest whatsoever in sitting through speeches etc and would appreciate being able to head out to somewhere where they can have a chat etc. A voucher for a nearby restaurant, etc perhaps?

Vojera

We fed our photographer lunch and dinner (he was with us from about 10am to 10pm). We just told him to get whatever bar food he wanted throughout the day and we let the staff know it was okay to charge it to us. I think it only cost us about €25 but he ended up staying for over an hour longer than he was meant to, which he said after was because he had been having such a good time with our crowd and also because we'd been really nice to him.

I think you should offer anyway. It'll be appreciated whether they accept or not. Even ask them out straight, "Do you need to be fed or is that included in the price?" I doubt they'll be offended!

Into The Blue

There's no hard and fast rule, so don't mind posters bickering over each others opinions.. We had the same package as you op, for ours we asked the hotel contact to look after them, they ate in an ante room and we put their meals on the hotel bill.

Just my experience, no right or wrong.

Red Kev

Feed them, but do it elsewhere.

Personally I'd feel a bit awkward sitting all day in a reception of people I don't know. I doubt they want to sit around listening to your speeches either (no offence ! ).

If there's no bar food available in the venue then give them a few quid and tell them to look after themselves for food during the day. It's a nice gesture that will be appreciated.

seventeen sheep

I think it could potentially be quite awkward on the day when they're finishing up ahead of the meal and you're basically saying, Right lads ... We're off to stuff our faces ... err ... see you in a couple of hours.

Also bear in mind that leaving the venue may not be an option (they may be limited for time for setting up for the evening etc) so they may have no choice but to pay the hotel prices for their meal - is it an expensive venue?

My own opinion is, while it's not essential and probably not necessarily expected, it's a nice gesture that will probably be appreciated very much by them.

You mentioned that you haven't booked a band yet - just mentally add an extra €50 or so to the price when comparing bands, and budget accordingly.

pooch90

To be honest,it never occurred to me to feed our band but they were also paid well over 2200 for their day's work so I'm not going to feel guilty if they paid for their own dinner.

seventeen sheep

pooch90 wrote: »

To be honest,it never occurred to me to feed our band but they were also paid well over 2200 for their day's work so I'm not going to feel guilty if they paid for their own dinner.

Were they there for the full day though, including before dinner?

Here Comes The Trio

Vojera wrote: »

We fed our photographer lunch and dinner (he was with us from about 10am to 10pm). We just told him to get whatever bar food he wanted throughout the day and we let the staff know it was okay to charge it to us. I think it only cost us about €25 but he ended up staying for over an hour longer than he was meant to, which he said after was because he had been having such a good time with our crowd and also because we'd been really nice to him.

I think you should offer anyway. It'll be appreciated whether they accept or not. Even ask them out straight, "Do you need to be fed or is that included in the price?" I doubt they'll be offended!

You also fed your ceremony and reception musicians and it hasn't been forgotten


Really though OP, the band don't need to sit with you and sit through your speeches etc., it's not awkward at all, they know how weddings go! When we go on a long day, we take into account the fact that we'll have to get food somewhere and that forms part of the cost for travel, I imagine this is not their first wedding and they've thought that kind of thing through. You are not obliged to do anything, and anything you do is just a nice gesture.

AoifeCork

Cushie Butterfield wrote: »

Should the band give the couple a wedding present?

It doesn't matter what sort of person the OP is & they're not having the reception in their home. The OP is hosting the event for their friends, family & invited guests - not the hired help. They are having it in a venue for which they have to pay for out of their savings.

Yes it would be a nice gesture to offer food at the bar, but not doing so doesn't reflect on the OP's character.

Hired help!? What is this? 1930s Mississippi???

Op- as a church musician and lead singer of a band, we do an awful lot of full day packages. Certainly, you are not obliged to feed your musicians. However when we have been informed previously that our meals have been paid for or subsidised then it is always so so appreciated. Personally, if I am there for the day my day starts at 10am to leave for the church and I might not be home until 3am. I always end up spending about €30-40 on food and drinks alone for the day to keep myself going so it's always lovely when a couple offers to pay for bars food or even a sandwich and coffee. If they're doing your drinks reception they'll be in your venue for the best part of 12 hours (3pm to 3am roughly) so if it exclusive use or one of these middle of nowhere country houses then I would chat to them about it and see what they think.
It is completely your prerogative and might I add.. Fair play to you for thinking of us musicians with everything else happening at the moment. It's nice that some couples out there see us as more than just "hired help"

clint_silver

Here Comes The Trio wrote: »

You are not obliged to do anything, and anything you do is just a nice gesture.

that about sums it up.

Gatica

AoifeCork wrote: »

I always end up spending about €30-40 on food and drinks alone for the day to keep myself going

It's great that some couples are so accommodating and think to offer free food to the providers on the day.
However, tbh, I don't think the fact that you end up spending X amount on your food as part of your job has any bearing on your customer paying for it... other than it's nice when they do, and it saves you those 40 Euro.
I pay for my own lunch at work, and wouldn't feel that that's anything to do with my employer.

We actually hadn't thought of it ourselves, the hotel on the day asked us if we wanted to provide meals to our photographers and if there was an amount limit. We were happy enough to pay for it. If they had asked about the musicians there for the day too, it would've been fine. However, it wasn't part of the contract, so it didn't even occur to me. I do think most suppliers and hotels who do lots of weddings are professional enough to think of what's needed for the day, whether asking the couple for the required break, a complimented meal or just sorting themselves out. I don't think it's something that a couple should feel they need to worry about, and that if they don't, there's something the matter with their character...

Fair play to the OP for thinking of it, so just be straight up with the band and ask they what they'd like to do about their meals. They'll likely suggest eating at the bar, or something to that effect.

PutDownArtist

They're not animals for Christ's sake, these are human beings you're referring too.

Are you that tight with the purse strings that you even need to ask whether to 'feed' them or not?:rolleyes:

Wabbit Ears

Cushie Butterfield wrote: »

Should the band give the couple a wedding present?

It doesn't matter what sort of person the OP is & they're not having the reception in their home. The OP is hosting the event for their friends, family & invited guests - not the hired help. They are having it in a venue for which they have to pay for out of their savings.

Yes it would be a nice gesture to offer food at the bar, but not doing so doesn't reflect on the OP's character.

lol, Hired help, talk about a perfect example of my point with regards to character.

PutDownArtist

PutDownArtist wrote: »

They're not animals for Christ's sake, these are human beings you're referring too.

Are you that tight with the purse strings that you even need to ask whether to 'feed' them or not?:rolleyes:

Wtf? Do you have any idea how much hosting a wedding costs?

All those few quid here and there soon mounts up.

PutDownArtist

Strawberry Milkshake wrote: »

Wtf? Do you have any idea how much hosting a wedding costs?

All those few quid here and there soon mounts up.

Just how stingy can you get? If you can't afford to provide a meal -- or 'feed' them as you so crudely put it -- don't get married.:rolleyes:

Do you expect the band to shell out for overpriced food at the venue from their meagre pay packets?:rolleyes:

haveringchick

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

How people treat those providing them a service screams volumes about the sort of person they are.

Anyone in my house be they family, friends, workmen or otherwise at lunchtime gets offered lunch and even if they decline I make extra for them anyway. Anyone there at dinnertime gets offers dinner and again, If they decline I make extra in case.

This is just plain manners and being a good host and a good person.

Tell them there is a food tab at the bar and they can use it or not.

You are confusing service providers with guests.
Offering hospitality to a service provider with whom you have agreed a professional contract muddied the waters.
A man who recently came to fix my ceramic hob told me he no longer even accepts a cup of tea or engages in personal chit chat with customers as there were too many occasions during the recession were customers then put pressure on for a discount.
Treat guests as lavishly as you like.
Behave professionally on all other occasions.

haveringchick

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

lol, Hired help, talk about a perfect example of my point with regards to character.

So should the hosts then offer meals to the waiting staff the photographer the banqueting manager the florist the kitchen porter etc. Where does this largesse that you so admire as a sign of a good upbringing end?
The barmen....the receptionist..

Wabbit Ears

the man fixing the hob noted and appreciated that he was offered, even if he refused..

haveringchick

I didn't offer him tea. He didn't come to visit me he came to fix my cooker.

stickybookmark

Melanie does your venue do bar food? My venue is only being hired by us for the wedding so there's no bar menu so we are paying for 3 dinners served in the bar for 33 euros per dinner (half price) for the 2 photographers and the videographer coz they will be with us all day and there are no other food options available for them (well they could pay the 33 themselves I suppose). the band is a tricky one. i think it depends on whether you have the spare cash in the budget or not, how many band members there are, whether there are cheap options nearby for them? they will have time during the meal, at least 2 hours so if they could drive or walk to somewhere close by where there are reasonable food options available i would say no need to feed them.

PutDownArtist

PutDownArtist wrote: »

Just how stingy can you get? If you can't afford to provide a meal -- or 'feed' them as you so crudely put it -- don't get married.:rolleyes:

Do you expect the band to shell out for overpriced food at the venue from their meagre pay packets?:rolleyes:

You have to be on a wind up. The word feed is now on the crude words list?

I just browsed through my emails from bands who gave me quotes. 3 piece band playing for 3 hours in the evening 1900 euro works out at 211.11 per person per hour.
3 musicians playing at drinks reception for an hour is 450 working out at 150 per person per hour. That's the rates and that's what I should be expecting to pay

But meagre wages? my a*se!

Wanderer78

yea i would, band life can be hard. long day for them to

Red Kev

Strawberry Milkshake wrote: »

You have to be on a wind up. The word feed is now on the crude words list?

I just browsed through my emails from bands who gave me quotes. 3 piece band playing for 3 hours in the evening 1900 euro works out at 211.11 per person per hour.
3 musicians playing at drinks reception for an hour is 450 working out at 150 per person per hour. That's the rates and that's what I should be expecting to pay

But meagre wages? my a*se!

You're forgetting the travel and set up time as well as the countless hours of practise. Not saying it justifies the amounts above, but it's not as simple as you make out.

Red Kev

Red Kev wrote: »

You're forgetting the travel and set up time as well as the countless hours of practise. Not saying it justifies the amounts above, but it's not as simple as you make out.

Don't get me wrong Kev, I have no issue with their charges. I'm sure instruments and equipment aren't cheap eeither.

But to call someone stingy for not providing nourishment (is that word on the acceptable list?) when they are already paying a large sum (for the couple) is unnecessary.

If a band factors in the price of food along with everything else in their quoted price, so be it. But they are providing a service for a fee same as the caterers, the florist, the cake maker, chauffeur, etc. and price quoted is the price you should pay unless you choose to pay more.

crazygeryy

Red Kev wrote: »

You're forgetting the travel and set up time as well as the countless hours of practise. Not saying it justifies the amounts above, but it's not as simple as you make out.

what a load of rubbish.if they are any good they could set it up in their sleep and practice?they probably do this every weekend and if not that then twice in a weekend.95% of weddings are the same so if a wedding band needs to practice they are probably ****e to begin with.

and its up to the op to feed them or not but if they are being paid for the whole day its up to them to feed themselves.i would put money on it that all of these band members have day jobs and are doing this for a bit of extra money.most wedding bands are like that.
so as someone said earlier meagre wages my arse.
having them sit at a table at the wedding is just wrong imo.they are there to do a job and are being well paid for it.

Here Comes The Trio

Strawberry Milkshake wrote: »

If a band factors in the price of food along with everything else in their quoted price, so be it. But they are providing a service for a fee same as the caterers, the florist, the cake maker, chauffeur, etc. and price quoted is the price you should pay unless you choose to pay more.

WOAH I didn't realise this thread could be so controversial! I think the above sentences sum it up pretty well.

Toots

Jaysus! Let's all take a chill pill and not be so confrontational! It is possible (and a rule in this forum) to express opinions without biting other posters' heads off....

Milly33

Jes yeah seems to have turned around and gone nasty...

There is really not correct answer OP I would think, but the fact that you are asking maybe suggest that you are thinking about it already which would suggest just go for it, might be another thing ticked off the list and not to worry about..

Again as mentioned with our, because I suppose the venue as such allows for it, but we are offering them someplace to sleep and will be offering them food aswell, as they are travelling down from up the country so I presume they will be hungry. At least asking you give them the choice of saying yeah or ne

PutDownArtist

Toots wrote: »

Jaysus! Let's all take a chill pill and not be so confrontational! It is possible (and a rule in this forum) to express opinions without biting other posters' heads off....

Who put you in charge?:rolleyes:

Gatica

PutDownArtist wrote: »

Who put you in charge?:rolleyes:

ahem... she's the mod for this forum.

Toots

Gatica wrote: »

ahem... she's the mod for this forum.

LOL!!

Milly33

Haha really it does say Mod...PutDownArtist say hi to Toos (toots sorry) the mod for the forum....

lazygal

Another day, another heated row on the weddings forum!

OP we fed our videographer and photographer. Both did a full day from about noon to 10 pm so during our meal theyate in the bar. I can't remember what we did about the band but I'm sure they helped themselves to the afters food, the usual sausages and sandwiches. If we'd had them for the ceremony and drinks reception music (they offered this service but we didn't need them for that) we'd have fed them during dinner too. We had a few no shows on the day (we kind of knew this in advance) so simply confirmed beforehand that those meals or something from the bar menu would be provided and paid for by us.

Uno my Uno.

A friend of mine plays with a wedding band regularly, sometimes they get fed sometimes not. They appreciate it when it happens but it is rarely the wedding meal and they never eat with the guests. Considering that this band will be with you all day I would be inclined to make arrangements for them to have something to eat somewhere such as the bar while you and your guests are dining.

stickybookmark

lazygal wrote: »

Another day, another heated row on the weddings forum!

OP we fed our videographer and photographer. Both did a full day from about noon to 10 pm so during our meal theyate in the bar. I can't remember what we did about the band but I'm sure they helped themselves to the afters food, the usual sausages and sandwiches. If we'd had them for the ceremony and drinks reception music (they offered this service but we didn't need them for that) we'd have fed them during dinner too. We had a few no shows on the day (we kind of knew this in advance) so simply confirmed beforehand that those meals or something from the bar menu would be provided and paid for by us.

hmm interesting. i haven't factored the band helping themselves to the afters food into my numbers i'm giving the venue for the afters food! Good idea to offer the band any dinners that go to waste though! must keep that in mind if we have cancellations after the 2 week final numbers for dining cut off date.

snickerpuss

We fed the photographer and videographer in the bar of the hotel as they were there from 10am - 11pm on the day. They were both brilliant and we were happy to do it. It cost about €45 for them both.

Would have done the same with the band had they been there all day. In the event they played right through so didn't even have any afters food.

The photographer & videographer asked not to be seated with the guests for dinner as it's just less awkward for everyone. That suited us fine too.

mikom

First dance.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NLLAeNhH3k

Milly33

You would defo offer them some of the late night nibbles sticky, even just a plate between then youd make sure they had something

stickybookmark

Milly33 wrote: »

You would defo offer them some of the late night nibbles sticky, even just a plate between then youd make sure they had something

cripes more fecking money! late night food in my place is pizza at 15.50 per pizza they say to allow half a pizza per person so I suppose I better add another 6 people (think that's how many are in my band) onto that so! That's about 46 quid