When to make that call...

Pawwed Rig

The Princess Bride wrote: »

Not necessarily. If a Garda has reason to fear for the safety of a child, the child can immediately be removed from their environment and moved to an emergency foster home / paediatric unit.
Unfortunately, I know this from years of experience.

Not every parent is fit to take care of their child, crazy when you think of it.

There are thousands of children living in similar circumstances. I see every day mothers swearing at their kids, shouting at them dragging out of them. Unfortunately this is normality for some families in our community. This is why we end up with so many anti social children and teenagers and noone is willing to do anything about it.
A little bit of insight into our child protective services would really make you sick to your stomach when you see what 'protection' we offer as a society.

zeffabelli

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

There are thousands of children living in similar circumstances. I see every day mothers swearing at their kids, shouting at them dragging out of them. Unfortunately this is normality for some families in our community. This is why we end up with so many anti social children and teenagers and noone is willing to do anything about it.
A little bit of insight into our child protective services would really make yoo sick to your stomach when you see what 'protection' we offer as a society.

That's true. It's also partially down to cultural norms within communities.

I wouldn't pin it on just the mothers though.

LordNorbury

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

In reality the child will be staying in that environment for the forseeable future regardless of what the OP does.
Recordings, however, are of very little value unless you can clearly hear what is being said on them which is unlikely through the ceiling of an apartment without some very good recording equipment.

I did think about this as an option, but it would be too big of a project for me to get into at the moment because as you've said, I would have to get specialist recording equipment, etc and I'd basically be into a surveillance operation then, you wouldn't pick up these arguments properly on an iPhone or any kind of basic sound recorder.

Another problem in terms of reporting, is that all I know about these two is their address and I know the apartment is rented as the guy who owns the apartment, who I met before as he used to live there, has now rented it out to this couple. So if I go to the cops, I know I'm probably going to be met with: "well we kinda need a name here to start with"...

bp

I would go to them personally - especially if you fear there is a threat of physical violence. Also fair play for caring - we need more like you in the world.

Tasden

LordNorbury wrote: »

Another problem in terms of reporting, is that all I know about these two is their address and I know the apartment is rented as the guy who owns the apartment, who I met before as he used to live there, has now rented it out to this couple. So if I go to the cops, I know I'm probably going to be met with: "well we kinda need a name here to start with"...

No matter what problems or issues that arise with regards to reporting this you still need to do your bit. Worst case scenario is they say they need a name and can't do anything until they know more. Best case is they're able to find out and take action. If you don't report it there is no best case scenario.

You can only do so much- report what you've heard. Once that's done it's out of your hands and in the hands of those that are trained to deal with these things and who understand the systems and limitations etc.

LordNorbury

Tasden wrote: »

No matter what problems or issues that arise with regards to reporting this you still need to do your bit. Worst case scenario is they say they need a name and can't do anything until they know more. Best case is they're able to find out and take action. If you don't report it there is no best case scenario.

You can only do so much- report what you've heard. Once that's done it's out of your hands and in the hands of those that are trained to deal with these things and who understand the systems and limitations etc.

I am reporting it tomorrow, if no action is taken, well then there is nothing I can do, and I can't think of what action that could actually be taken that might resolve this, apart from taking this woman's child into care, which is not done lightly, as I think that the woman involved here is a bad person and is an awful mother. I may be right there or I may be wrong, there may be something like post natal depression behind her behaviour, she may have coping issues or she may be just a horrible person and if I'm being honest, it is the latter I suspect to be the case, after hearing a woman verbally abuse her own child, scream and roar at her own child, scream profanities at her own child in broad daylight in the middle of the estate.

irishgirl19

My mother had bad PND after the birth of one of my siblings. She never treated any of her kids like that.
This woman is just a scumbag

Tasden

LordNorbury wrote: »

I am reporting it tomorrow, if no action is taken, well then there is nothing I can do, and I can't think of what action that could actually be taken that might resolve this, apart from taking this woman's child into care, which is not done lightly, as I think that the woman involved here is a bad person and is an awful mother. I may be right there or I may be wrong, there may be something like post natal depression behind her behaviour, she may have coping issues or she may be just a horrible person and if I'm being honest, it is the latter I suspect to be the case, after hearing a woman verbally abuse her own child, scream and roar at her own child, scream profanities at her own child in broad daylight in the middle of the estate.

Taking her kids into care is definitely not the only action that can be taken. They can offer supports, like you said pnd could be at play, she may need counselling or treatment for an undiagnosed condition, or help with the practical sides of things if she's feeling overwhelmed by it all, or a social worker can arrange for a family member to mind the child.. there are so many ways that the situation can be addressed that isn't just taking the child into care- which you're right, is not done lightly.

And none of us know what exactly is going on behind closed doors, all we can do is report it if we feel the child is being treated unfairly and let the professionals determine what needs to be done.

LegacyUser

I was that toddler,who the turned into that child and teenager who lived between two houses. Nobody made the call for me. I am now 33 and I do have resentment towards my neighbours for "looking the other way" or " not wanting to get involved". Please please call the is occ and they will guide you as to how to deal with it. The toddler years are the most forming for any person who wants to grow Into a fully functioning adult. I now deal with PTSD due to the things you talk about,I'm terrified of people and to be honest it's terrifying for a child in that situation. You seem like a good kind caring person trying to do the right thing. I wish there were more like you out there

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Flippyfloppy

Report it to the Gardai and the Hse then resort to recording in case it's not followed up on immediately.

But please report it, that poor child. Even if it is pnd it doesn't mean the little one should suffer.

Dobbit

irishgirl19 wrote: »

My mother had bad PND after the birth of one of my siblings. She never treated any of her kids like that.
This woman is just a scumbag

PND manifests in different ways, not everyone's experience of it is the same.

TizTaly2015

Please call the Gardaí. You don't have to go down to the station - these reports can be done anonomously. As many have already mentioned here, the mother and father might just need some external support. Also, their families may not know what is happening and this might bring it to their attention (for eg, a granny might be able to take child if parents cant cope). A child doesn't always have to end up in what we know as 'care'. Family can help out. There are support groups - Barnardos for eg do parenting courses. This couple might just be living so chaotically that they don't know the harm that they are doing this poor wee pet. Please keep us informed.

lukesmom

Any update did you contact social worker?