narcissistic children

suicide_circus

So a study from the University of Amsterdamdraws a link between constant praise and narcissism in children. It has been in vogue for some decades now for parents to leave their children in little doubt that they are the most specialest snowflake in all the land. While this is well intentioned, it seems that it is having a negative impact.

The study evaluated more than 560 children between the ages of seven and 11 over 18 months. It found that parental overvaluation was the largest cause of narcissism in a child, but did not necessarily provide them with good self-esteem.

http://www.independent.ie/opinion/columnists/sinead-moriarty/why-overpraising-may-be-responsible-for-a-generation-of-narcissistic-children-31075427.html

As with most cringe worthy vacuous trends,this seems to have been a US import. As I child, when I excelled I was told"well done" but not to be conceited - when I didn't do well, I was commiserated but also commended for my effort and encouraged to try harder next time - that's as far as it went, I was never allowed to develop"notions".

Any opinions? It stands to reason that if achild is constantly praised and cajoled that that they will develop inaccurate image of themselves and their place in the world - destined to failure and disappointment once they get out in the real world.

NachoBusiness

Well it wasn't in vogue in my house to treat children like special snowflakes.

I was given no praise as a child whatsoever. Hence my attempts to feel that void with online thanks whoring

0byme75341jo28

My mammy says I'm great.

percy212

Everyone I know in the US who is under 50 is a narcissist. They do feel entitled and special, but they get **** done. Confidence is good for business.

DoYouEvenLift

There was a similar study done about using 'child talk' and speaking to kids in that childish voice everyone does when addressing kids. Apparently speaking to kids like this can slow down their social skill development and kids who are spoken to by adults in normal conversational manner learn to hold good conversations and socialise better.

Inb4 people starting speaking to their children about the economy over breakfast

Macavity.

Narcissism, yet another word that idiots have redefined.

whiskeyman

Of course, such studies don't apply to my little darlings...

kneemos

Macavity. wrote: »

Narcissism, yet another word that idiots have redefined.

A quick Google reveals narcissism is a result of childhood trauma and is based on mistrust.

suicide_circus

Macavity. wrote: »

Narcissism, yet another word that idiots have redefined.

Anything more to add to that devastating one liner?

Robsweezie

NachoBusiness wrote:

I was given no praise as a child whatsoever. Hence my attempts to feel that void with online thanks whoring 

At least you're honest....

Miall108

If they hadnt have gotten rid of Corporate Punishment in schools then children with big egos would be scarce. Nothing like a good smack of the belt buckle from time to time to keep things in check where its deserved of course along with giving praise where its due to kids. Children should be treated on merit.

Greenmachine

kneemos wrote: »

A quick Google reveals narcissism is a result of childhood trauma and is based on mistrust.

From what I have seen there are high functioning and low functioning narcissists. High functioning have the ego, the charm, the social skills but are full of themselves and can be insensitive. Low functioning lack success, but are highly inclined to blame others for their failures.

recylingbin

Children should be beaten senseless when they act the maggot
Never did me any harm.

Posted from my iWheelchair.

percy212

I am sorry you were beaten as a child.

Miall108 wrote: »

If they hadnt have gotten rid of Corporate Punishment in schools then children with big egos would be scarce. Nothing like a good smack of the belt buckle from time to time to keep things in check where deserved along with giving praise where its due to kids

Aongus Von Bismarck

There's a huge difference between having a healthy sense of self-esteem, self-worth and pride in one's achievements as compared to the needless boasting carried out by a naraccist. Some Irish people seem to find comfort by labeling everyone with self-esteem as a blowhard and a naraccist. That's a begrudger. As tiresome and draining as any naraccist.

Duckworth_Luas

Miall108 wrote: »

If they hadnt have gotten rid of Corporate Punishment in schools

I hated corporate punishment in school. The teacher would invite in mid ranking executives from Pepsi, McDonalds and Microsoft who would scold us on our lack of outside the box thinking

Nforce

What children need is more honesty..

Miall108

percy212 wrote: »

I am sorry you were beaten as a child.

And you were obviously the opposite and probably breastfed into your teens too with a name like that.

A bit of traditional discipline where required certainly doesnt do any harm

kneemos

Greenmachine wrote: »

From what I have seen there are high functioning and low functioning narcissists. High functioning have the ego, the charm, the social skills but are full of themselves and can be insensitive. Low functioning lack success, but are highly inclined to blame others for their failures.

Extremely interesting condition
the bit I read about it .

percy212

Oh yeah. I am actually still on the tit.

You sound lovely. Are you a big lump of a man with rosy cheeks and a history as a cleric.

Miall108 wrote: »

And you were obviously the opposite and probably breastfed into your teens too with a name like that.

A bit of traditional discipline where required certainly doesnt do any harm

Adamantium

I'd believe it. My brother was never very good at school with his dyslexia and parents and teachers over compensated to the point, where any problem I have with him as an adult becomes a disagreement. He can't be wrong or he'll fall apart. You can't ask him questions or be honest and just have a quick bant about...anything, because it's impossible to talk about something without him becoming overly emotionally attached to it, it's beyond his capabilities. His views are him.

I was always good at school and the like, and that was the standard I felt I had set and felt I had to keep hitting and only got noticed by the teachers when I started more average results, but I never got exemptions or anything.

You'd think the hard knocks would have left my brother more rounded because few things came easy to him and I would the narcissist because of how things in early life went more smooth for me.


He's now involved in social care, oh lord christ.

suicide_circus

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

There's a huge difference between having a healthy sense of self-esteem, self-worth and pride in one's achievements as compared to the needless boasting carried out by a naraccist. Some Irish people seem to find comfort by labeling everyone with self-esteem as a blowhard and a naraccist. That's a begrudger. As tiresome and draining as any naraccist.

This was a Dutch study. Classic dutch begrudgery I suppose?

Tarzana2

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

There's a huge difference between having a healthy sense of self-esteem, self-worth and pride in one's achievements as compared to the needless boasting carried out by a naraccist. Some Irish people seem to find comfort by labeling everyone with self-esteem as a blowhard and a naraccist. That's a begrudger. As tiresome and draining as any naraccist.

I know, nobody likes being labelled a naraccist. Who'd want to be labelled something that doesn't exist?

Macavity.

suicide_circus wrote: »

Anything more to add to that devastating one liner?

I hear it used quite commonly nowadays. It seems that anyone who is in any way selfish could be labeled as a narcissist by the many armchair psychiatrists that exist today. It's a serious mental condition and not one to be undermined by some bozo who read a wiki article on it.

KatW4

I've had parents tell me to praise their children more as it stops them being bold! I'm not going to praise your kid for being a little sh*t, they'll think they're perfect and will continue doing whatever they want.

Children do not need constant praise. They need a balance of praise and being told when and why they were wrong.

Miall108

percy212 wrote: »

Oh yeah. I am actually still on the tit.

You sound lovely. Are you a big lump of a man with rosy cheeks and a history as a cleric.

You seem angry. I say that because you resort to such depths as to compare me to a fat member of the clergy with a history of high blood pressure. Thats not very nice, we are entitled to our opinion after all, not everyone who believes in a bit of traditional discipline(where required) is a Song for a Raggy Boy Psycho. For the record, I am neither elderly, fat or have any significant Religious affiliations.

Are you angry because my statements awoke some repressed memories or is it because you are a staunch believer in "mollycoddling" children?

percy212

I am only angry with you. Just you. Nobody else. I think about you a lot.

Miall108 wrote: »

You seem angry. I say that because you resort to such depths as to compare me to a fat member of the clergy with a history of high blood pressure. Thats not very nice, we are entitled to our opinion after all, not everyone who believes in a bit of traditional discipline(where required) is a Song for a Raggy Boy Psycho. For the record, I am neither elderly, fat or have any significant Religious affiliations.

Are you angry because my statements awoke some repressed memories or is it because you are a staunch believer in "mollycoddling" children?

Letree

We can see the fruits of this in the early stages of the X Factor. People coming in without a note in their head thinking they are brilliant. And they are genuinely shocked and crushed when told they aren't up to it. Too much praise from a young age.

blatantrereg

Here is the paper on the study. It also concludes that lack of parental warmth does not cause narcissism. (That was another hypothesised cause for it.) Parental warmth results in improved self esteem in a child.

http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2015/images/03/09/narcissistic-parenting-study.pdf

suicide_circus

Macavity. wrote: »

I hear it used quite commonly nowadays. It seems that anyone who is in any way selfish could be labeled as a narcissist by the many armchair psychiatrists that exist today. It's a serious mental condition and not one to be undermined by some bozo who read a wiki article on it.

The wiki-reading armchair psychiatrist who conducted this particular study is a postdoctoral researcher in developmental psychopathology.

recylingbin

suicide_circus wrote: »

The wiki-reading armchair psychiatrist who conducted this particular study is a postdoctoral researcher in developmental psychopathology.

A goddam head shrinker. Well I suggest the good doctor take his bit of paoer he has hanging in the wall there and cram it up his @ss then analyse that

/every cop film ever.