Things you should know before getting married...

Georgie.Girl

Poor saps are getting married before their one month dating anniversary...

Doubt they know what they are in for...

Any advice for my friend?

eviltwin

You need three months notice. You might want to tell them that.

JaseBelleVie

"What's yours is mine and what's mine is my own"

Sheep Lover

Has she any near dead wealthy relatives

fussyonion

...your other half.

mawk

Know what you're missing?

Fr_Dougal

If their relationship isn't working out, tell them to have a baby. Babies solve everything.

Kevin McCloud

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

If their relationship isn't working out, tell them to have a baby. Babies solve everything.

Helps with extra rock and roll and a free council house for sure.

Slicemeister

Record the snoring, the farts will show up themselves.

BBJBIG

How to do d Roidin

Miall108

Does she swallow

Birneybau

What night which bin goes out.

Irish_rat

Check for crabs

How much debt they have, and whether it falls under the 'everything is ours now' banner.

Ruu

Get the book on 'One upping the neighbours for beginners'. Good read.

Nodin

Georgie.Girl wrote: »

Poor saps are getting married before their one month dating anniversary...

Doubt they know what they are in for...

Any advice for my friend?

Take a long hard look at her mother, and observe her personality very closely. If he asks why, just clatter him and tell him again.

One eyed Jack

Congratulations?

c_man

Genetic test to confirm she's not a reptilian shafeshifter illuminati figure.

PandaPoo

Everyone thought I was mad, engaged after 6 months and married 4 months later. Only moved in together after the honeymoon.

Destined for doom apparently!

Dramatik

Make sure you have an ample sized garden shed. You will be spending a lot of your spare time in there, scratching your head wondering where it all went wrong. Also it is a good idea to stash a sleeping bag in there, for those cold winter nights.

MarkAnthony

Miall108 wrote: »

Does she swallow

Not for much longer!

anncoates

Even when they do get married, they'll still never know as much about it as single 20-somethings on the internet.

Hyzepher

Organise somewhere to put the mistress - she'll be needed

seamus

Nodin wrote: »

Take a long hard look at her mother, and observe her personality very closely. If he asks why, just clatter him and tell him again.

That's only part of it.

For either gender, find out where they see themselves living and settling down, and not in the "if you had a million euro" kind of way, but in the more realistic way if you were able to make reasonable money anywhere.

If the answer is, "as close to my parents as possible", "next door to my parents", or "I'm going to build a house on my parents' land", then run, run very fast.

Dravokivich

Georgie.Girl wrote: »

Poor saps are getting married before their one month dating anniversary...

Doubt they know what they are in for...

Any advice for my friend?

You do know what the anni is for in anniversary right?

Birneybau

Ruu wrote: »

Get the book on 'One upping the neighbours for beginners'. Good read.

I've a better one...

emeldc

PandaPoo wrote: »

Everyone thought I was mad, engaged after 6 months and married 4 months later. Only moved in together after the honeymoon.

Destined for doom apparently!

So how long are you back from honeymoon?

libelula

Spaghetticode wrote: »

Chances are your wife doesn't actually find you sexual attractive, you are a good little boy who will do what he's told. Meanwhile there is a significant chance your wife will ride men on the side that she does find attractive.

What in the?

Buona Fortuna

A man is out playing golf and insists one of his buddies come back for dinner.

When they arrive the place is a mess. The kids are running riot. Toys are spread all over the carpet. The breakfast things are unwashed on the breakfast table.

The man's wife is spread out on the couch watching TV, smoking a cigarette and drinking a glass of wine.

As the two men enter the man says "This is Tom, he's staying for dinner."
The wife says "Why did you bring someone back here, you lowlife piece of $hit?"

The man answers

"Because, he's thinking of getting married."

Grandeeod

In more innocent times, a very very naieve young man was about to get married and he asked his father for some advice. The father decided to be funny. Son, be very careful of that girl. I've heard the women in her family have a very unusual problem with their vaginas. What is it said the son? Well they contain teeth.

A few weeks later the Bride arrived home from honeymoon and visited her mother. The poor girl was devastated. Mum, he never touched me on our honeymoon. I'm still a virgin. The mother asked why and her daughter told her that her new husband was convinced she had teeth in her vagina. That's stupid carry on altogether the mother said. When he comes home from work tonight, make sure there's a big steak on the table for him and then after that bring him to bed and show him the time of his life. I can't the daughter says. I'm having my period. Don't be silly says the mother. Just tell him you got your teeth out.

PARlance

PandaPoo wrote: »

Everyone thought I was mad, engaged after 6 months and married 4 months later. Only moved in together after the honeymoon.

Destined for doom apparently!

Destined for doom! Confused.
Did they think you were going to split up or stay together?