Trivial things that annoy you part 479

miezekatze

Corvus Maximus wrote:

Here's a tip, fly from Frankfurt sometime. I was going through security and for some reason, I always set off airport metal detectors. Now I maintain it's the alien implant but nobody ever listens.

Anyway, the metal detector goes off as usual and the blonde, impresive looking German security ladies take me aside and give me a very, very comprehensive pat down.

When they were finished and they gave me the all clear, I was nearly going to pay them.

I fly to/from Frankfurt quite often and rarely make it through the detector without it going off, even if the only metal I have on me is my bra. I think they are motion detectors rather than metal detectors.

And yes, the pat downs in Frankfurt are very comprehensive and usually involve someone sticking their hand in your waistband. Hate that airport!

pew

I had a fart at the bus stop....little did I know I wasn't alone. There's some really hot guy behind the shelter.

Ffs

Rubberlegs

pew wrote: »

I had a fart at the bus stop....little did I know I wasn't alone. There's some really hot guy behind the shelter.

Ffs

Apt username! Peewwwww:)

mocha please!

Spending ages looking for hairband/gogo/hairtie/bobbin (/whateveryouwannacallit, depending on local dialect), only to find one, and then have it snap as you try to tie your hair up with it. :mad:

Pumpkinseeds

Plastic glasses in bars. Now I know they serve a safety purpose, but they're fricking horrible. On the plus side we had a great time seeing Dara O'Briain at Vicar Street last night, even though the place was as hot as Hell.:)

failinis

Leaving disgusting leg/pit/ball/head hair in the shower after using, even though you know someone else is going to use it (and I make sure I clean the bleeding shower after I use it).
Plus I had to pull out hair from the plug as the shower started acting like a bath the minute I turned it on.
And also using my towel last night, even though they knew I was going to get a shower in the morning.
Still not over this and its the after noon!
:mad::mad::mad:

Maximus Alexander

mocha please! wrote: »

Spending ages looking for hairband/gogo/hairtie/bobbin (/whateveryouwannacallit, depending on local dialect), only to find one, and then have it snap as you try to tie your hair up with it. :mad:

I always thought the Aussies were very pragmatic with how they named things.

mud

mocha please! wrote: »

Spending ages looking for irband/gogo/hairtie/bobbin (/whateveryouwannacallit, depending on local dialect),ha only to find one, and then have it snap as you try to tie your hair up with it. :mad:

I've given up on cheap (hairband/gogo/hairtie/bobbin (/whateveryouwannacallit, depending on local dialect) much better to pay out for decent ones than those Dealz atrocities!

TomBtheGoat

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

Here's a tip, fly from Frankfurt sometime. I was going through security and for some reason, I always set off airport metal detectors. Now I maintain it's the alien implant but nobody ever listens.

Anyway, the metal detector goes off as usual and the blonde, impresive looking German security ladies take me aside and give me a very, very comprehensive pat down.

When they were finished and they gave me the all clear, I was nearly going to pay them.:pac:

Did you mention the war? You should have mentioned the war, because I guarantee you'd have gotten extra special treatment.

Hugo Stiglitz

TomBtheGoat wrote: »

Did you mention the war? You should have mentioned the war, because I guarantee you'd have gotten extra special treatment.

Listen, don't mention the war! I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right.

kfallon

miezekatze wrote: »

I fly to/from Frankfurt quite often and rarely make it through the detector without it going off, even if the only metal I have on me is my bra. I think they are motion detectors rather than metal detectors.

And yes, the pat downs in Frankfurt are very comprehensive and usually involve someone sticking their hand in your waistband. Hate that airport!

Was there a thorough prostate examination?

Robsweezie

TA my phone fell to a really awkward spot behind my bed, where I had to squeeze my arm through to get anywhere near it, that wasn't even enough, had to spend a good 5 minutes fishing it out with a feather duster.

that fella creaming his pants over ham in the dennys ad ''THE STAR OF A MILLION SANDWICHES'' relax there.....

Oneiric 3

Would you like 'Mayo' or ketchup on that. Hate that, how much more effort is it to say 'mayonnaise'.

Public_Enema

pew wrote: »

I had a fart at the bus stop....little did I know I wasn't alone. There's some really hot guy behind the shelter.

Ffs

Fair play for your honesty, but one annoyance I have, is women who claim to never fart. Everybody does it, it's a product of metabolism. So you either fart or you're dead. I hate the faux outrage some have over a normal bodily function.

Menas

Public_Enema wrote: »

Fair play for your honesty, but one annoyance I have, is women who claim to never fart. Everybody does it, it's a product of metabolism. So you either fart or you're dead. I hate the faux outrage some have over a normal bodily function.

Everyone does it, but the smelly ones are just gross. And there really is no need to be blowing it out like a trumpet!

Public_Enema

Menas wrote: »

Everyone does it, but the smelly ones are just gross. And there really is no need to be blowing it out like a trumpet!

I agree. I was talking about normal farts, not those chemical warfare ones that would rot a corpse.

kfallon

Menas wrote: »

Everyone does it, but the smelly ones are just gross. And there really is no need to be blowing it out like a trumpet!

Loud farts = no smell
Quiet farts = stink

It's almost like farts were invented so you're gonna be found out if you let one drop anyway!

kfallon

Public_Enema wrote: »

Fair play for your honesty, but one annoyance I have, is women who claim to never fart. Everybody does it, it's a product of metabolism. So you either fart or you're dead. I hate the faux outrage some have over a normal bodily function.

There's nothing like letting off a good ripper early in the morn, great way to start the day :P

AndyBoBandy

Public_Enema wrote: »

I agree. I was talking about normal farts, not those chemical warfare ones that would rot a corpse.

I know the feeling!!

I was at the bus stop today and the girl in front of me (who thought she was alone) let off a weapon of mass destruction, I'd say she was mortified!!

Robsweezie

Robsweezie wrote: »

having the computer/laptop up on high volume, you're quietly scrolling through a page and suddenly a ****ing random video auto plays and scares the ****e out of you before you even have time to see where it is.

auto playing videos in general

if I want to look at your stupid fcuking video I'll click on it
until then FCUK OFF

Aglomerado

kfallon wrote: »

There's nothing like letting off a good ripper early in the morn, great way to start the day :P

Especially while sitting on the toilet for ricochet effect!!!

retro:electro

AndyBoBandy wrote: »

I know the feeling!!

I was at the bus stop today and the girl in front of me (who thought she was alone) let off a weapon of mass destruction, I'd say she was mortified!!

I haven't laughed out loud in ages but I really laughed at this! Touché

One eyed Jack

Aglomerado wrote: »

Especially while sitting on the toilet for ricochet effect!!!

Form an orderly queue lads :pac:

pew

Public_Enema wrote: »

Fair play for your honesty, but one annoyance I have, is women who claim to never fart. Everybody does it, it's a product of metabolism. So you either fart or you're dead. I hate the faux outrage some have over a normal bodily function.

Everyone does it!




For the record it wasn't some nuclear type explosion. It was a toot that's all.

Maximus Alexander

If you think about it, a fart is just a sh*t in gaseous form.

Which goes up your nose.

And into your lungs.

Where it can settle.

And make a home.

Forever.

mud

Public_Enema wrote: »

Fair play for your honesty, but one annoyance I have, is women who claim to never fart. Everybody does it, it's a product of metabolism. So you either fart or you're dead. I hate the faux outrage some have over a normal bodily function.

My friend who is mostly normal (ish) has tried to tell me several times that she doesn't fart.

I told her that if she doesn't fart when she's awake then she must be farting like a ginnet when she's asleep!

She was very, very angry with me :pac:

eternal

Try sitting in a busy waiting room with a bubbling fart brewing inside you. It's like you are going to swell up and explode. It's the worst ever.

Aglomerado

eternal wrote: »

Try sitting in a busy waiting room with a bubbling fart brewing inside you. It's like you are going to swell up and explode. It's the worst ever.

Holding onto it to the point of pain.... and then your guts make an even louder rumbling noise!!!

AndyBoBandy

Aglomerado wrote: »

Holding onto it to the point of pain.... and then your guts make an even louder rumbling noise!!!

As a master of the art form, I have trained my muscles to allow for the quick release multi shot method, this method allows the gas to be distributed in short sharp bursts, confusing the other 'players' into thinking its a creaking door or something!

There are dangers however with this method, you can incorrectly judge the pressure required to obtain the correct result, and just end up with a long loud continuous fart!!

The positives far outweigh the risks, and if you successfully execute the manoeuvre, you immediately begin looking around at the other people giving off the impression you are looking for the culprit, so when someone actually does get a whiff, and they start looking for the offender, they'll see you already looking for said farter!

Boom_Bap

I was doing a race thing last weekend, someone farted, then said 'OH OH' after it rather than 'oooppps'.

And then someone further back that heard the fart said 'you don't let them slip out after the 6km mark'