Sending a Mother's Day card.....but not to mum cards

delly

Now your husband not buying you a mother's day card on behalf of your newborn is an Irish tradition (jk). It's probably something he hasn't thought about, but yes, for at least the next 10 years, it will be him who buys the card, but as it is his first year he probably didn't think about it. It gets easier from 3 up, as if he forgets, he can get your child to draw a homemade card on the morning, just in time.

Pawwed Rig

delly wrote: »

Now your husband not buying you a mother's day card on behalf of your newborn is an Irish tradition (jk). It's probably something he hasn't thought about, but yes, for at least the next 10 years, it will be him who buys the card, but as it is his first year he probably didn't think about it. It gets easier from 3 up, as if he forgets, he can get your child to draw a homemade card on the morning, just in time.

? Funny how these made up holidays cause so much hassle for innocent bystanders.
The expectation and entitlement I have read about over the last few days is staggering (not referring to op here).

kaya770

Thanks for your comments.

Personally I don't see any reason not to celebrate all the different days in the calendar, made up or not, as it's just an excuse to acknowledge your loved ones. I do admit though, where I come from I would probably laugh if I was given a card 'from' a 4 month old, and I certainly wasn't aware it was such a huge deal to people here! Having chatting about this subject though I found that there are many made up Mother's Day cards out there 'for' and 'from' many interesting celebrators, even cats and bumps (!) were mentioned!

My own mom concluded she will be sending herself a 'Happy Miss World' card annually
I am totally sending her one some time this year! As for my husband, I don't mind if he wants to do the Mother's Day cards to me (I am not his mom :-)!) But if he wants to, that would be fun too (I kind of expect our pet dog to 'write' one too, knowing my hubby's sense of humor!)
I say, a busy day for him from now on!
But hey, I may forget it's Mother's Day at all and that's all good as well

I guess the main thing is not to get too caught up on any days of the calendar, that's all they are, some days we assigned a symbolic value to... And that's coming from a person who's mom is a total academic who occasionally forgot her kids' birthdays :-)! Were we ever bothered? No, we didn't need a card to understand our dear mom is totally besotted with us!

qt3.14

meeeeh wrote: »

It's a bloody hallmark holiday. She didn't exactly abandon the child with grandparents for a year. The child is young enough he/she won't know what all the fuss is about.

Op I think you completely overreacted over some completely illogical action. Your child didn't give a card, your husband's father gave a card to your husband's mother. Now if your child themselves would give the card to the grandmother instead to you it might be a problem. Although to be honest mine would do it in a heartbeat if they were offered a piece of chocolate by her.

I might be joking but giving birth or becoming a grand parent is not an achievement and your child doesn't owe you gratitude for that. I would much prefer to see mine grow up into balanced and happy adults and if they want to they can thank me at my funeral. Before that they can spend present/card money on cigarettes and alcohol.

Christians have given presents to their mothers on the second sunday of Lent since at least the sixteenth century.

beyondbelief67

qt3.14 wrote: »

Christians have given presents to their mothers on the second sunday of Lent since at least the sixteenth century.

Yes and then followed by girls who were in service to big houses being given that day of to visit both their mother church and their mother.
Again since the 16th century so it's not a made up holiday or new holiday.
Or just one from the card makers either.

meeeeh

qt3.14 wrote: »

Christians have given presents to their mothers on the second sunday of Lent since at least the sixteenth century.

Christians have also tradition of not having sex before marriage for centuries don't they? The whole concept is a bit messed up. People have kids because they want them to and usually the worse they treat them the more gratitude they expect.

I'm not going into further discussion on the merit of the holliday and son's badly made card did bring smile to my face but I really don't like the spirit of entitlement that some people have. And it really baffles me why my partner would give me presents because kids haven't got a clue that they have to.

Taltos

Mod note
Ok back on topic. Per our charter and announcement if you have no on topic advice to the OP then please don't post. This is not a discussion forum and those that treat it as such will only earn moderator action.

Cheers
Taltos

lazeedaisy

kaya770 wrote: »

Thanks for your comments.

As for my husband, I don't mind if he wants to do the Mother's Day cards to me (I am not his mom :-)!) But if he wants to, that would be fun too (I kind of expect our pet dog to 'write' one too, knowing my hubby's sense of humor!)
I say, a busy day for him from now on!
But hey, I may forget it's Mother's Day at all and that's all good as well

I don't think you really get it, no, your husband gets his own mother a card (I would hope). He is buying one for you on behalf of the baby, not from your husband,

As for the dog! Since your husband did not get a card from the baby this year, I think that should be his priority!

As for an academic forgetting children's birthdays, You will find that it's not just academics that forget people's birthdays,

Your in laws sound fun, hope your husband sent his mum a card, and its not about calendar days, or hallmark holidays,

You obviously need to get your husband a card when fathers day comes round, but not from the dog!

LostinKildare

kaya770 wrote: »

I do admit though, where I come from I would probably laugh if I was given a card 'from' a 4 month old, and I certainly wasn't aware it was such a huge deal to people here!

Um . . . but that's exactly what your mother-in-law did --- she laughed because she was given a card 'from' a 4 month old. It was a joke between her husband and herself, acknowledging that she was 'mammy' again (to a baby) for the weekend. She tried to share the joke with you but you soured it with what sounds like jealousy. You made it a huge deal.

New mothers often feel a pang leaving their babies with someone else -- is it possible you felt that irrational yet very common feeling that she was taking over your role? It's not pretty, but it's understandable.

I think you should apologize. Leaving that hanging in the air is not a good idea.

Katgurl

yeah i'm sorry OP but i'm with the rest of the posters here, I think your reaction was unwarranted. I know you've responded and said you understand now but you don't seem to be expressing any gratitude / remorse towards your inlaws.

They really do sound nice and like they were having a good time with the baby and I think your behaviour could have soured that for them.

If I were you, I'd be doing something to make up; a little thank you card and gift for minding your child all weekend.

kaya770

Katgurl wrote: »

yeah i'm sorry OP but i'm with the rest of the posters here, I think your reaction was unwarranted. I know you've responded and said you understand now but you don't seem to be expressing any gratitude / remorse towards your inlaws.

They really do sound nice and like they were having a good time with the baby and I think your behaviour could have soured that for them.

If I were you, I'd be doing something to make up; a little thank you card and gift for minding your child all weekend.

Did that as soon as I learnt it was a done thing here
They got the most beautiful flowers in the shop and I think I'm in the good books again!
I found this forum very helpful with this issue, it's brilliant to learn what's customary to my family that I may not realize!
As a side note, where I come from, we celebrate Names Days, it's HUGE! Somehow, after 11 years with my partner I cannot make him buy into the tradition, but I keep trying