How much do you respect the argument"but it's my culture"?

BoJack Horseman

Saipanne wrote: »

A culture is just an idea. Ideas don't deserve automatic respect.

Indeed.

"Culture" is a very artificial construct.

Habit multiplied by time.

MadDog76

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Normally I;d say grow a pair and tell your culture to **** off - but trying saying that to someone who doesn't loves the Irish languge or Gaelic sports. It works both ways, ya see?

The thing is, thoguh, culture is far mroe than just a few customs. For this girl, it's her fmaily, friends, every thing she;s famliar with. She's looking at a lot of isolation and ill-will with her family, and there's a lot that goes with it.

Not being allowed to voice your honest opinion regarding an arranged marriage for fear of being dis-owned by your family, exiled from your community and possibly even worse consequences ....... and GAA ......... good comparison :rolleyes:

Custardpi

The big question is going to be what does she do if she decides to go against her parent's wishes & gets disowned? Most of us rely upon to some extent & take for granted the benefits of having a range of family & other connections, even if just for emotional support. To be cut out of that can be a very scary prospect, particularly if one's family is close knit. Is there a ready made alternative available or will she effectively have to start from scratch? Could she continue to even live in the same locality she's currently in?

jjC123

shruikan2553 wrote: »

Theres a difference between being offered a choice and actually having a choice. Not saying thats the case here but it is possible she could say no and her family shuns her. Theres a choice but one option is made as unattractive as possible.

That is, of course, very true. Unfortunately, thats a decision she is just going to have to make. Being trapped by tradition is an old cliche - live unhappily with the approval of your community or live freely without it (making you, perhaps, even more unhappy than you would have been).

Its a sad story, but neither the first nor the last.

We are free to make our own decisions within the confines of the law and free to follow cultural traditions after that, no matter how moronic they may be(Jehovahs Witnesses and blood transfusions spring to mind).

SeanW

Cormac... wrote: »

Since when did we all have to respect everyone and their cultures? Did I miss the memo?

I think I can save the multi-culti left some time:

WAAYCIST!!

MadDog76

What annoys me is when you travel to certain countries/parts of the world you are expected to respect said country's culture/traditions but when they travel here to Ireland you're still expected to respect their culture/traditions even if/when it contradicts Irish Culture!!

oceanman

if its her culture its her business, shouldn't concern anyone only close family. anyway arranged marriages were once a common practice here in Ireland.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

MadDog76 wrote: »

Not being allowed to voice your honest opinion regarding an arranged marriage for fear of being dis-owned by your family, exiled from your community and possibly even worse consequences ....... and GAA ......... good comparison :rolleyes:

Well done on missing the point.

The question was "How much do you respect the argument "it's my culture?". My point is: it depends sometimes on who's culture you're talking about. If you don't like something, but feel compelled to do it anyway, it's not your culture and you should say so - regardless of whether it's marryign someone you don;t like, speaking Irish, morris dancing, praying five times a day or whatever.

RWCNT

steddyeddy wrote: »

I said it's BS her making herself unhappy because of culture. She was really angry the way I disrespected her culture but feck it I think it is BS to put your culture before happiness.

You were obviously only speaking out of concern and empathising with her sadness at the situation but I can understand why she might get angry at you. Happens in all sorts of discussions. I'll piss and moan about my Ma and what a wagon she is but if someone does the same I'll be in their face telling them not to disrespect my Ma.

Duke O Smiley wrote: »

Depends. In the case of the "Ireland is not friendly enough to Muslim tourists" thread or the likes, I'd say stfu and go home then.

A thread you clearly didn't read anyway.

Cuban Pete

SeanW wrote: »

I think I can save the multi-culti left some time:

What an insightful, original post.

Foxhound38

Plenty, boss. It's me culture boss :pac:

coffee_cake

The first time I saw anyone actually using the "but it's my culture" argument was some guy writing an article in the irish times in defence of FGM and how he was going to put his daughters through it and how dare anyone say otherwise because it's my culture.

So since then, no, I don't respect that argument one iota

Sheepy99

steddyeddy wrote: »

A friend of mine is getting married in what is more or less an arranged marriage. She doesn't want to marry this guy and is very unhappy as a result. She says this is her culture and I said it's BS her making herself unhappy because of culture. She was really angry the way I disrespected her culture but feck it I think it is BS to put your culture before happiness.

Do we have to respect a person's culture if that culture is degrading towards people e.g. women, gay people or animals (bloodsports). I don't think"it's my culture" cuts it as an argument.

If she's in her own country, not much you can do.

If it's here in Ireland, i'd tell her cop the **** on, it's 2015, use the opportunity you have to have a (half) decent life while you still have the chance. Make sure to include plenty of curse words

Sheepy99

nelly17 wrote: »

To be fair The Irish have had their hands tied by the church culture for a long time, something we're only starting to emerge from in the last 20 years, so for us its probably easier to pass judgment on people and their culture. But it was'nt that long ago that we had a fairly opressive culture

Ah, the age old generic after hours response about Ireland when discussing a matter of faith/ethics.

Baby Jane

When it's something that's damaging to the person themselves or others, I don't respect it.

I also don't respect the bizarre argument that Irish people born after the magdalene laundries, some of them potential victims had they been alive, aren't in a position to judge.
Anyone who doesn't hurt others, the way the cultures they criticise do, is in a position to judge (including, actually even more so, those who are directly affected by it).

Wibbs

Baby Jane wrote: »

When it's something that's damaging to the person themselves or others, I don't respect it.

This. IMH not all cultures are close to "equal", some are clearly better for more individuals and individual proclivities within society.

wretcheddomain

steddyeddy wrote: »

A friend of mine is getting married in what is more or less an arranged marriage. She doesn't want to marry this guy and is very unhappy as a result. She says this is her culture and I said it's BS her making herself unhappy because of culture. She was really angry the way I disrespected her culture but feck it I think it is BS to put your culture before happiness.

Do we have to respect a person's culture if that culture is degrading towards people e.g. women, gay people or animals (bloodsports). I don't think"it's my culture" cuts it as an argument.

Isn't she subliminally disrespecting her own culture by doubting the rightfulness of marrying this guy? After all, if she really believed in the importance of her culture she wouldn't feel unhappy about the arranged marriage. It appears to me you were merely a post to beat to take out her own frustrations - which are, in effect, exactly the same as yours.

In any case, culture says nothing about whether something is right or wrong. Once upon a time the United States had a 'culture' of slavery and, alas, many of those 'unhappy' people reformed it from within - albeit in a slightly belligerent fashion. So no, we shouldn't respect culture in terms of moral values, as the two simply do not go hand in hand.

Culture is really the sedimentation of hundreds of years of baseless indoctrination to a given lifestyle. Given that culture is so ingrained in many people's identity - as it has in effect become their lifestyle - to attack the culture would become an attack on the lifestyle, so you can see why your friend would be offended in the way that she was.

However, it's her unhappiness that speaks volumes in this regard. Obviously the links between culture and lifestyle aren't so clear cut, but the pressure of others might act as a reinforcement to guilt-trip her into thinking she's making the right decision. Ultimately, it's an immoral aspect of her culture and the fact she recognises it is a good thing to say the least.

djflawless

Culture me bollix.
I'm racist/drunk but I'm Irish its my culture
I'm fat but I'm American its my culture
I lop peoples heads off but I'm Muslim its my culture

Get the f##k and don't be blaming your nationality/race/religion and make your own decisions!!