Best porn movie scenarios?

DavidRamsay99

I like the scenario of some black dude who cruises into a rich white neighborhood to burglarize and discovers bored housewives whose rich husbands are out working?

What do you guys like?

Would an Irish porn movie involve an Irish traveler being hired by a rich executive living in a D4 residence to cut back his overgrown trees and hedges who has a hot wife or daughters?

ZiabR

DavidRamsay99 wrote: »

I like the scenario of some black dude who cruises into a rich white neighborhood to burglarize and discovers bored housewives whose rich husbands are out working?

What do you guys like?

Yeah because all black dudes are burglars...

Right Turn Clyde

Edit: Actually I'll get rid of that. It might not read that funny.

Specialun

Or the irish version

Where the dub jackeen cruises down to kerry in his honda civic and bangs this farmer woman when her hubby is at the mart

prizefighter

DavidRamsay99 wrote: »

I like the scenario of some black dude who cruises into a rich white neighborhood to burglarize and discovers bored housewives whose rich husbands are out working?

What do you guys like?

Would an Irish porn movie involve an Irish traveler being hired by a rich executive living in a D4 residence to cut back his overgrown trees and hedges who has a hot wife or daughters?

More realistic if the traveller had a hot wife and daughters and he just stayed home.

wilhelm roentgen

DavidRamsay99 wrote: »

I like the scenario of some black dude who cruises into a rich white neighborhood to burglarize and discovers bored housewives whose rich husbands are out working?

What do you guys like?

Would an Irish porn movie involve an Irish traveler being hired by a rich executive living in a D4 residence to cut back his overgrown trees and hedges who has a hot wife or daughters?

Or trim his wifes bush possibly

DavidRamsay99

How about ICA women taking art classes and doing a reverse gangbang with the male nude model?

A group of British paratroopers catch a female IRA terrorist and interrogate her?

El Guapo!

logik wrote: »

Yeah because all black dudes are burglars...

Wow.



*facepalm

PandaPoo

I was watching one the other day, father in law fixes busty daughter in laws boiler.

So funny, I've fixed your heating so I get to play with your boobs. She just rolls her eyes and lets him.

Ah porn

YFlyer

Irish Water Wan coming around explaining about leaks in mt pipes and how she can fix them

CardBordWindow

I like when they fall in love, and get married afterwards.

Duggy747

There needs to be a porno of Pat Mustard & Mrs. Doyle.

Crooked Jack

Basically, American Psycho. The book.

DavidRamsay99

A group of girls travel to the Gaeltacht to learn the cupla focal?

Right Turn Clyde

El Guapo! wrote: »

Wow.



*facepalm

You need to adjust your sarcasm detector.

dodderangler

Duggy747 wrote: »

There needs to be a porno of Pat Mustard & Mrs. Doyle.

There was.
He put his massive tool in her box

DavidRamsay99

A group of naive D4 rich girls join Sinn Féin and are driven to South Armagh before being gangbanged by fuel smugglers with H block tattoos?

A woman whose mortgage is arrears has to come to an arrangement with the local bank manager, the local loanshark, the St. Vincent De Paul and the local garda?

Mint Aero

2 girls 1 cattle troughs

Crooked Jack

DavidRamsay99 wrote: »

A group of naive D4 rich girls join Sinn Féin and are driven to South Armagh before being gangbanged by fuel smugglers with H block tattoos?

Sir, I would like to finance your project.

darkpagandeath

"Did someone order Sausage?"

El Weirdo

"Meine dispatcher says there's something wrong mitt deine cable".

Señor Fancy Pants

The Irish one is where you turn on the TV and various 70's/80's shows are reproduced....naughty schtyle.

Episode 1 is - "The homeless Bosco".

Some chick walks down a piss drenched lane with graffiti all over the walls. There are half filled black rubbish bags on the ground. The corners have been chewed off the bag by a stray cat and long, curly potato peels and used tea bags are peeping out of it.

This midget dude with red dreadlocks is sitting on a big wooden box. He calls the chick over and tells her he wants to see what's behind her magic door. Just then, a Saw a Doctors song blares from inside the box and another chick, dressed in a pair of rip off tracksuit bottoms and a Naff jacket, hops on by on a pogo stick. She stops and continues eating a bag of chips that she had in her pocket.

Pogo stick chicks asks Bosco - "Will ye shift me friend?". Bosco says "I'm going to bang her like The Tongue Twister Twins bang pots on New Years Eve". They wear the face off each other for 13 seconds then she bends him over and goes elbow deep in his jacksie until his cheeks go rosey red and his voice starts squeeking. Her arm pounds him like a pneumatic drill and Bosco gets flashbacks of happier times through the magic door to the milk factory, the farm and that time they fcuked up and went to the abattoir.

The Saw Doctors gently fade out, the chips are finished, the arm is worn out and Bosco is in a heap of limp shame on the ground. He whispers "Tidy up goodbye, goodbye, put everything back in its box,
see you soon goodbye, goodbye and remember now you're the tops" while gently sobbing.

Fin.


Stay tuned for the Adventures of Biddy and her cow shaped time machine.

The Diabolical Monocle

a lonely antisocial virgin who posts on internet forums receives a pm from a hot blonde blonde woman with functioning vagina.

she also pays his taxi fare and she is under 60 70 years of age.

Harry Palmr

DavidRamsay99 wrote: »

I like the scenario of some black dude who cruises into a rich white neighborhood to burglarize and discovers bored housewives whose rich husbands are out working?

What do you guys like?

Would an Irish porn movie involve an Irish traveler being hired by a rich executive living in a D4 residence to cut back his overgrown trees and hedges who has a hot wife or daughters?

Get up the fecking yard!

whupdedo

I really like the porn where daddy walks in on his sleeping daughter and proceeds to give her the meat injection, before giving her a pearl necklace for her birthday

Or the one where mom walks in on her son getting head off his girlfriend,and naturally shes not suckin it right and goes into great detail on how to give her son the perfect blow job while giving her OWN SON A BLOW JOB

I just wonder who the fcuk wants to believe that they're watching father and daughter or mother and son getting to know each other better by suckin on each others genitals

Specialun

whupdedo wrote: »

I really like the porn where daddy walks in on his sleeping daughter and proceeds to give her the meat injection, before giving her a pearl necklace for her birthday

Or the one where mom walks in on her son getting head off his girlfriend,and naturally shes not suckin it right and goes into great detail on how to give her son the perfect blow job while giving her OWN SON A BLOW JOB

I just wonder who the fcuk wants to believe that they're watching father and daughter or mother and son getting to know each other better by suckin on each others genitals

I just nearly spat up my king crisps

Sheepy99

logik wrote: »

Yeah because all black dudes are burglars...

Woah PC brigade alert!

StewartGriffin

Whatever the scenario, Vincent Brown HAS to walk in at some point in proceedings, if only to shout "This is dispicable!" and walk out again.

In the US they had a Sara Palin pornstar lookalike, did quite well I believe. In Ireland, my money would be on a Mary Lou doppelganger, (I'm trying not to think of Joan Burton here, but it's not working.):o

darkpagandeath

Sheepy99 wrote: »

Woah PC brigade alert!

Thought porn was not PC anyway :pac:

Son Of A Vidic

DavidRamsay99 wrote: »

What do you guys like?

One where some newbie comes into AH starting threads and ends up getting ridden sideways by all the guys & gals of AH. The newbie smart arse ends up with no arse and everyone in AH lives happily ever after.

Stark

TV license inspectors.

Nucular Arms

whupdedo wrote: »

I just wonder who the fcuk wants to believe that they're watching father and daughter or mother and son getting to know each other better by suckin on each others genitals

PizzamanIRL

I love the scenes where the male inserts his penis into the females vagina several times at a rapid pace.

AndonHandon

One where a group of Indian men roam around the countryside in some Scandanavian country or maybe Japan and a group of local females attack them and violate their orifices with various instruments.

Wacker The Attacker

Where husband and wife come home from the pub on a saturday night and are three sheets to the wind and decide to test out some of their messed up thoughts on each other:

(1) Can you take a drag off a cigarette with your sphinc\fanny?

(2) Can cold curry sauce be used as lube? Both\either front and back door.

(3) If you thrust you fully erect member into a block of ice, how long does it take to lose your hard on?

(4) How many balls (and I dont mean testicles) can you fit into a vajayjay? Snooker, Baseballs and cricket balls appear the most challenging although I have it on good authority that particular female has stuffed a fully inflated american football into her hoohah

It'd like a banned episode of mythbusters.

kowloon

I once penned a script for an adult movie, but apparently the world isn't ready for Schindler's Dick.

FloatingVoter

Irvine Welsh of Trainspotting fame has already written the book on this

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Porno-Mark-Renton-Book-3-ebook/dp/B0038LB4RG/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1425519200&sr=1-1&keywords=porno+irvine+welsh

7 Rides For 7 Brothers. Sickboy is in charge of "auditioning" the actresses. Should be on your screens shortly.

Egginacup

DavidRamsay99 wrote: »

I like the scenario of some black dude who cruises into a rich white neighborhood to burglarize and discovers bored housewives whose rich husbands are out working?

What do you guys like?

Would an Irish porn movie involve an Irish traveler being hired by a rich executive living in a D4 residence to cut back his overgrown trees and hedges who has a hot wife or daughters?

A few ISIS guys spit-roasting you.

eternal

Egginacup wrote: »

A few ISIS guys spit-roasting you.

^^^

Littlekittylou

You don't have much imagination do you guys?

Cake Man

A young, naive JobBridge intern gets pummelled by her boss in a bid to secure a permanent position.
Manager has his way with her and then tells her there are no permanent positions. The title of the porno: "Getting fcuked both ways"

Jesus Wept

DavidRamsay99 wrote: »

I like the scenario of some black dude who cruises into a rich white neighborhood to burglarize and discovers bored housewives whose rich husbands are out working?

What do you guys like?

Would an Irish porn movie involve an Irish traveler being hired by a rich executive living in a D4 residence to cut back his overgrown trees and hedges who has a hot wife or daughters?

DavidRamsay99 wrote: »

How about ICA women taking art classes and doing a reverse gangbang with the male nude model?

A group of British paratroopers catch a female IRA terrorist and interrogate her?

Reverse in what sense? You mean that gangbangs are meant to be men on women. Like 'reverse sexism' a 'reverse racism'.

Anyhow, I do approve of your thread topic.

Jesus Wept

Cake Man wrote: »

A young, naive JobBridge intern gets pummelled by her boss in a bid to secure a permanent position.
Manager has his way with her and then tells her there are no permanent positions. The title of the porno: "Getting fcuked both ways"

This is genius. Well done.

expatinator

AndonHandon wrote: »

One where a group of Indian men roam around the countryside in some Scandanavian country or maybe Japan and a group of local females attack them and violate their orifices with various instruments.

Why Japan?


Let me see. Aha, I have a scenario.

It is a hot day in September. The air is sticky, the sky molten, but not as fevered as the people's loins. Tensions rise. Words gush out in in an unending stream, and leave the whole country slick with emotion.

The battle is reaching it's climax. The final moan, the final gasp, the final pounding that they will give each other. The end is here. But it'll be a long one. Filled with long ones.

Church VS State: The final climax.

Littlekittylou

Littlekittylou wrote: »

You don't have much imagination do you guys?

Ejaculate some of your best outputs onto the thread for us then

magentis

Has to be fake taxi over on youporn.

NachoBusiness

I'm more of a Woodman castings guy myself. 'What do you do in the life?' The sheer amount of babealicious Hungarians he manages to have swing by his office looking to be DP'd is staggering. Don't accept any substitutes. Pierre is the original casting agent. First guy to record them. A friend told me. I personally wouldn't watch such filth.

As for porn scenarios. Can't beat a bit of Kay Parker having wet dreams all night about orgies and the like and then in morning unable to bear seeing her son naked and so devours him as he sleeps. In fairness, her best friend had told her she needed to shag her son, as she has shagged hers (Taboo I or II, can't remember which). Seen them first on VHS. There was a guy on the northside of Dublin who used to go around with a video shop in the back. £5 for ten films for a week.

Google'ing 'Damn sexy Kay Parker seducing her son' should find you the scene. NSFW etc etc.

The best thing about those Taboo films was that invariably the guys playing the "kids" were older than, or at least not far of the age of, the women playing the moms. 70s porn rocked.

StewartGriffin

Littlekittylou wrote: »

You don't have much imagination do you guys?

How about sexy mature lady challenges a room full of dick-waving alpha males to pleasure her in an imaginative and creative way? But the only one who pleases her is a skinny bald guy who was only there to fix the wifi connection, (but he's a writer in his spare time.)
Kind of like cinderella, but with guys, and a vagina instead of a slipper, actually now I think of it, it's not like cinderella at all.

What does the winner get?

Willfarman

Irish Agri porn. It just hasn't been done yet.
The possible scenarios are endless!

With real girls now with real vaginas. The market for beastiality would be limited enough i would imagine..

StewartGriffin

"Organic Orgasms" a tale of free-range sex in the West of Ireland.

Vinculus

Jesus, Mary and Josephine


A young lady is praying at the most holy and miraculous shrine of Ballinspittle in the beautiful county of Cork.
The young lady finds herself extremely attracted and aroused by the statue of our holy mother. The young lady cant help her self and begins to reach under her long skirt and touch her self in the most sinful of ways.
Our holy mother Mary is awakened for the first time in many a year by the gentle moans of the young lady.
Our most holy of Mother is at first shocked by this little Jezebel touching her privates at her feet but after a time she too starts to feel like she hasn't felt in a long time.
Her hand goes under her long blue robes.
After an orgasm or two later she descends down to the young lady and they start going at it like a couple brazen hussies.
Unbeknown to them at the time Jesus is watching the show from behind a bush.
His hand goes under his caftan and he begins to pull at his holy member while watching his mum and the little tramp do the bad thing,
After a while he walks over and exclaims " Ma, what in the name of God are you up to?"
Our blessed mother replies "Aw Jesus, shut up and give your mother a kiss"
A threesome begins.
God,our holy father upon high is watching from above. "What in hell is going on down there" he shouts .
Everybody laughs.

fade to Black