What's In Your Ass

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 12:49am #1

Pocket?

Just spent three quarters of an hour looking for me phone and it was in the ass of me jeans all along, with a bank statement and one of those Chinese keyring yokes that are supposed to show you where your hole is.

What have you AHers got in your back poctetsessess?

auldgranny · 26-02-2015 12:50am

Thread not nearly as interesting as its title.

Links234 · 26-02-2015 12:52am

****bags

For the dog. Can't just leave it there, you know? So I have 'em on me at all times.

madmaggie · 26-02-2015 12:53am

Fluff. In the pocket.

punisher5112 · 26-02-2015 12:54am

My dick.

fineso.mom · 26-02-2015 12:55am

3 quarters of an hour? jesus ,backwards man how big is your ass?

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 12:56am

auldgranny wrote: »

Thread not nearly as interesting as its title.

I'm terribly sorry that my ass doesn't fill you with excitement.

Here's a musical interlude to pique your interest

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfApBz4_XQk

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 12:57am

fineso.mom wrote: »

3 quarters of an hour? jesus ,backwards man how big is your ass?

It wasn't the first place I looked!:pac:

AnLonDubh · 26-02-2015 12:57am

Me hole, a.k.a. my anus, is an orifice located in my ass, its primary feature if you're thinking of visiting.

wil · 26-02-2015 12:57am

Smart

PandaPoo · 26-02-2015 12:58am

The Backwards Man wrote: »

It wasn't the first place I looked!:pac:

It's always in the last place you look.

Of course it is, you're hardly going to find it and then carry on f*cking looking!!!

bodice ripper · 26-02-2015 12:59am

I am rarely wearing pants at this hour.

madmaggie · 26-02-2015 12:59am

Methinks post no.5 is either a bragger, or a contortionist.

punisher5112 · 26-02-2015 1:00am

At least its not my anus you live in.

My ass is such a donkey at times.

Its the government fault.

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 1:00am

PandaPoo wrote: »

It's always in the last place you look.

Of course it is, you're hardly going to find it and then carry on f*cking looking!!!

That's the most sensible, concise, and articulate first post I've ever seen on this site.

Take a bow Sir/Madam/Panda

PandaPoo · 26-02-2015 1:00am

madmaggie wrote: »

Methinks post no.5 is either a bragger, or a contortionist.

Maybe he took off his jeans and then stuck his willy in the back pocket?

efb · 26-02-2015 1:01am

Poo, sometimes my finger, sometimes his, sometimes his cock

PandaPoo · 26-02-2015 1:02am

efb wrote: »

Poo, sometimes my finger, sometimes his, sometimes his cock

Why have you got poo in your back pocket?

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 1:04am

Ever been sorry you started a thread in the company of potty mouths?

punisher5112 · 26-02-2015 1:05am

Your ma

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 1:07am

bodice ripper wrote: »

I am rarely wearing pants at this hour.

Wouldn't be so bad if you would draw the curtains!

wil · 26-02-2015 1:09am

The Backwards Man wrote: »

That's the most sensible, concise, and articulate first post I've ever seen on this site.

Take a bow Sir/Madam/Panda

And that's the most sensible, concise, and articulate reply I've seen you give at this time of night. You must be sober? on call

CJ Haughey · 26-02-2015 1:09am

No back pockets on my boiler suit.

efb · 26-02-2015 1:10am

PandaPoo wrote: »

Why have you got poo in your back pocket?

I didn't read the op, clearly

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 1:13am

wil wrote: »

And that's the most sensible, concise, and articulate reply I've seen you give at this time of night. You must be sober? on call

On the Powers actually.:o

For the first time in thirteen years, whiskey usually doesn't agree with me but doing OK so far.:)

The Diabolical Monocle · 26-02-2015 1:14am

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Pocket?

one of those Chinese keyring yokes that are supposed to show you where your hole is.

what ??

a more detailed description please - of the keyring yoke not your hole.

expand on the issue if you would, stretch it out a bit so we can get a taste of what you're talking about.

Bongalongherb · 26-02-2015 1:14am

A tepatubularobjectasscope unfortunately :mad:

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 1:20am

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

what ??

a more detailed description please - of the keyring yoke not your hole.

expand on the issue if you would, stretch it out a bit so we can get a taste of what you're talking about.

You know them yokes that if you push them they light up and show you where to stick it in?

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 1:23am

The Backwards Man wrote: »

You know them yokes that if you push them they light up and show you where to stick it in?

On of these like

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_j-Tji1DueU

dee_mc · 26-02-2015 1:25am

I know Mr Powers is in control now but surely the word 'light' or 'torch' would've been helpful! Poor drunken Backwards Man!

CJ Haughey · 26-02-2015 1:25am

The powers is gone to your head.

pollyannawins · 26-02-2015 1:27am

taking votes to respond to tread by the title alone instead of the explainative about pockets...

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 1:28am

I'm drunk on power

Mwahahahahahhahahhahahahhahahhas!!!

Not really.

Thread needs more tunes.

CJ Haughey · 26-02-2015 1:29am

Give us a song.

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 1:32am

CJ Haughey wrote: »

Give us a song.

Just for you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEkIou3WFnM

CJ Haughey · 26-02-2015 1:35am

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Just for you

You can stick that up your ass pocket

Bongalongherb · 26-02-2015 1:36am

The tube is down here as well.

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 1:39am

CJ Haughey wrote: »

You can stick that up your ass pocket

I seen lonely times when I could not find a friend

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3uaXCJcRrE

But I always knew I'd see you again

CJ Haughey · 26-02-2015 1:40am

Bongalongherb wrote: »

The tube is down here as well.

You have a tube in your ass?

Bongalongherb · 26-02-2015 1:44am

Strange, but maybe it was a good idea that the tube went down as I was going to upload a very visually astounding ass video tune.

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 1:45am

Bongalongherb wrote: »

Strange, but maybe it was a good idea that the tube went down as I was going to upload a very visually astounding ass video tune.

There are not many who remember
They say a handful still survive
To tell the world about
The way the lights went out
And keep the memory alive

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 1:51am

I sometimes think I should have been a DJ, I read the weather on a pirate station once, fluffed my fcuking lines believe it or not.

Bongalongherb · 26-02-2015 1:52am

Youtube only seems to be down with UPC. Vodafone is in working order.

Straight as an arrow.

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 1:58am

It's a pretty good crowd for a Wednesday night
And the mods they give a smile
Cause they know that it's me they've been coming to see
To forget about life for a while

eternal · 26-02-2015 1:59am

It's threads like these that my bleeding eyes weep sorrowfully for and then I mourn the death of the minute I spent moving as fast as possible through it.

CJ Haughey · 26-02-2015 2:01am

The Backwards Man wrote: »

It's a pretty good crowd for a Wednesday night
And the mods they give a smile
Cause they know that it's me they've been coming to see
To forget about life for a while

Now The Backwards Man at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be
He says, "CJ I believe this is killing me."
As the smile ran away from his face
"Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of my ass pocket"

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 2:03am

eternal wrote: »

It's threads like these that my bleeding eyes weep sorrowfully for and then I mourn the death of the minute I spent moving as fast as possible through it.

Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day

How did I end up on Billy Joel?

Damn Powers:mad:

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 2:06am

CJ Haughey wrote: »

Now The Backwards Man at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be
He says, "CJ I believe this is killing me."
As the smile ran away from his face
"Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place"

Uptown Charlie
He's been living in his uptown world
I bet he never had a backwards man
I bet his mama never told him why

Bongalongherb · 26-02-2015 2:46am

May the Mods have mercy on my soul...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Z0rt30gCW4

Smidge · 26-02-2015 2:54am

It could be worse....
I thought of something VERY important about an hour ago and said "Oh yeah, jesus I mustn't forget to do that"
And then I instantly forgot what it was and so for the last fecking hour I have been filled with that horrible dread feeling of forgetting something important and it won't come back to me at all.
And I don't even have the whiskey excuse

eternal · 26-02-2015 2:57am

Smidge wrote: »

It could be worse....
I thought of something VERY important about an hour ago and said "Oh yeah, jesus I mustn't forget to do that"
And then I instantly forgot what it was and so for the last fecking hour I have been filled with that horrible dread feeling of forgetting something important and it won't come back to me at all.
And I don't even have the whiskey excuse

Sounds like you need a whiskey to help you to remember.

What's In Your Ass

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