How did you know your partner was right for you?

loubian

I'm at a point in my relationship where I'm starting to doubt my boyfriend's and I compatibility and was just wondering, how did you boardsies know that your partner was right for you?

baby and crumble

loubian wrote: »

I'm at a point in my relationship where I'm starting to doubt my boyfriend's and I compatibility and was just wondering, how did you boardsies know that your partner was right for you?

I have never wanted to break up. Neither has she, as far as I know.

That's pretty much it.

lubie76

He was the first guy I compromised for in a good way, I was quite selfish in past relationships always putting myself first. Looking back now it's because I knew they weren't the one so didn't feel they worth the compromise.

Links234

Honestly? Straight away. We went to a death metal concert for our first date, it was perfect

PhysiologyRocks

I never knew it was possible to love anyone this much.

He loves me at my best and at my worst.

He sticks with me when I'm ill, cranky, tired and down.

He shares my joys, no matter how small.

He has empathy for both the over and underdog.

For some reason, he finds me entertaining.

We share little tokens of affection - from a cup of tea, to a massive cuddly hedgehog when I passed my postgrad exam.

We maintain our own interests too, which is so, so important - and not to be mistaken for incompatibility.

Most importantly, he makes me very happy.

Genuinely wishing you all the best in your decision.

angeldelight

To be perfectly honest, I've never doubted that he was right for me - I couldn't imagine my life without him. We're together almost nine years and I still get excited about him coming home from work!

m'lady

I can laugh with him.. But I can also cry with him. We have each others back when needed.. He takes no crap off me lol.. I miss him when he's gone a few hours.. I simply can't imagine him not being there..

wuffly

When we talked about our past and I told him about my first husband and his death and he just quietly cried and hugged me. I never thought I would let anyone do that for me. He's best person I know. We've had our ups and downs over the years but never considered breaking up always just found the a way through each issue. We balance each other very well.

Novella

I met him and even though we lived a few thousand miles apart and in completely different timezones, it didn't seem crazy to try to make things work out. He is my balance in life and I think I am his too. I'm impulsive, I like to make decisions quickly. I'm a big believer in following your heart. He is much more thoughtful. He likes to carefully consider everything and talk about all available options. My husband is that little bit of reservation when I need it and I am his spontaneity sometimes. That is one example.

I never knew he was 'right' for me or perfect or my soulmate. I just knew that he was (is) wonderful and every day when I wake up, I know that I'd rather the day be spent with him in my life than without, no matter what else is going on.

iwantmydinner

He's the first one I've always been and always can be 100% myself with.

I'm so fcking excited to plan and live our future together.

Compromises don't really feel like compromises.

I miss him even after a few hours (annoyed to admit that, but it's true!).

It feels like I've known him forever, even though I didn't know him this time last year.

My closes friends and allies knew from the moment I introduced him that that was it for me. I'd found Him.

Loads of other things too.

Ms2011

Saw this on Facebook today:

"Marry the one who makes you feel the same way as you do when you see your food coming in a resturant"

Pretty much what I did lol!!!

skallywag

loubian wrote: »

I'm at a point in my relationship where I'm starting to doubt my boyfriend's and I compatibility...

Would be curious as to the type of things which are sowing these seeds of doubt, e.g. have explicit events happened etc. which have made you have a rethink, or is it more of a case that you are looking for explicit arguments as to what makes you both compatible?

loubian

skallywag wrote: »

Would be curious as to the type of things which are sowing these seeds of doubt, e.g. have explicit events happened etc. which have made you have a rethink, or is it more of a case that you are looking for explicit arguments as to what makes you both compatible?

I've just found that in the last while, he hasn't really been supportive. I'm trying to lose weight, and told him I will be cutting out certain foods. I never said or expect him to follow me but he's been trying to get me to break, to "have a little, it won't hurt", to eat all the crap with him. And he laughed when I told him the plan to cut all bad stuff out and then moaned that we wouldn't be getting take away every Saturday. I told him I wasnt stopping him. He is also very negative about a lot of things that I like, n while he doesn't have to like everything I like, it's not nice to have your favourite book/film/song constantly put down. Again, I am wondering am I being over sensitive.

It's just hard to know what is right and what isn't.

skallywag

loubian wrote: »

I'm trying to lose weight, and told him I will be cutting out certain foods. I never said or expect him to follow me but he's been trying to get me to break, to "have a little, it won't hurt", to eat all the crap with him

You have my sympathy on that one OP, I know how frustrating such a situation can be. Have you had a frank discussion with him around the fact that losing weight is important to you and you would really like to have his support on the same? I am just wondering if he is belittling the whole thing without really having in mind the upset that it may be causing you that you are not getting support from him.

spurious

Links234 wrote: »

Honestly? Straight away. We went to a death metal concert for our first date, it was perfect

I'd be similar.
I asked her did she like Abba and she replied 'who doesn't like Abba?'.
I was sold. Five years this April 1st.

LenaClaire

Novella wrote: »

I met him and even though we lived a few thousand miles apart and in completely different timezones, it didn't seem crazy to try to make things work out. He is my balance in life and I think I am his too. I'm impulsive, I like to make decisions quickly. I'm a big believer in following your heart. He is much more thoughtful. He likes to carefully consider everything and talk about all available options. My husband is that little bit of reservation when I need it and I am his spontaneity sometimes. That is one example.

I never knew he was 'right' for me or perfect or my soulmate. I just knew that he was (is) wonderful and every day when I wake up, I know that I'd rather the day be spent with him in my life than without, no matter what else is going on.

Oh man, you sound so much like my husband and myself.

One of the things that keep us ticking along is that we both make each other laugh so much.

Das Kitty

loubian wrote: »

I've just found that in the last while, he hasn't really been supportive. I'm trying to lose weight, and told him I will be cutting out certain foods. I never said or expect him to follow me but he's been trying to get me to break, to "have a little, it won't hurt", to eat all the crap with him. And he laughed when I told him the plan to cut all bad stuff out and then moaned that we wouldn't be getting take away every Saturday. I told him I wasnt stopping him. He is also very negative about a lot of things that I like, n while he doesn't have to like everything I like, it's not nice to have your favourite book/film/song constantly put down. Again, I am wondering am I being over sensitive.

It's just hard to know what is right and what isn't.

These are the sorts of challenges most people go through. I think what would mark something like this out as a relationship-breaker was if one or other of you wasn't willing to address it and work on it.

I can't remember how I knew my husband was right for me. I just know that I can't remember a time where it didn't feel like I was on the correct path. With other life choices, uncertainty has reigned, but with him I have never doubted.

Clearly, over fifteen years, we have had our share of rough times. But we've always both wanted to fix anything that went off course.

To be frank, right now it would take something monumentally terrible for us to break up. We'd have to not want to try anymore.

woodchuck

I don't mean to derail the thread or anything, but it always seems that people 'just know' they're with the one... until they aren't anymore.

No relationship is perfect. Even if you think your partner is right for you, surely you've all had doubts along the way? Paricularly during any rough patches?

For me personally, I have serious doubts as to how I'll know if I'm with the right person or not. To be honest if I go by most of the comments on here, I don't think I'll ever think someone is right for me... it just seems like everything is being painted in too much of a positive light without taking the more realistic scenarios that pop up in the long term into account.

Sorry if this post comes across negative. But I genuinely do want to know how you all tell that your partner is right for you... but warts and all!!

angeldelight

It's really hard to describe without it coming across as twee, but when everything else is going to crap, when it seems like my whole life is up in the air or I'm under huge pressure and stress - he's the one I want. He can't necessarily fix what is going on but as long as he's there I feel like I can deal with things.

Even when I'm really mad at him for something he's done to upset me - the depth of the anger/hurt/whatever is nowhere near the depth of the love.

Hopefully someone more eloquent than me will be along shortly woodchuck

Amica

I remember the moment when I thought "I could see myself being with him for the rest of my life". I had never thought that about anybody else before. We had only been together two or three weeks at that point and I didn't know why exactly I felt that way. Intuition works faster than logic I think! There was a moment that stood out early in our relationship when I had been at a friend's house with a group of girls. The conversation had turned a bit gossipy and judgemental and I was a bit shocked by it. I felt really alienated afterwards. I walked to my boyfriend's house and it started to rain so I arrived there soaking wet and feeling pretty miserable. He just took me in, put me in one of his dry shirts, lit a fire and gave me a cuddle - without me having to explain anything. Maybe I knew then.

How did I know he was right for me? He was understanding and caring - which were very important traits for me in a partner. He shared a lot of my values and life goals, and he was exciting - he was very attractive, he was different to other people I had met. And in short, I felt fabulous when I was with him and he never gave me any reasons to be concerned about him (no red flags). Every single couple has or will have issues and things they need to work on - that's good, relationships are supposed to be challenging! Whether or not you (as a couple) care enough to work on them is the true test. So, How to know if your partner's right for you...I would say couples are right for each other if: they make each other happy and they have compatible values and goals and they are both willing to work on their issues

Neyite

woodchuck wrote: »

I don't mean to derail the thread or anything, but it always seems that people 'just know' they're with the one... until they aren't anymore.

No relationship is perfect. Even if you think your partner is right for you, surely you've all had doubts along the way? Paricularly during any rough patches?

For me personally, I have serious doubts as to how I'll know if I'm with the right person or not. To be honest if I go by most of the comments on here, I don't think I'll ever think someone is right for me... it just seems like everything is being painted in too much of a positive light without taking the more realistic scenarios that pop up in the long term into account.

Sorry if this post comes across negative. But I genuinely do want to know how you all tell that your partner is right for you... but warts and all!!

My view is that all relationships have a shelf life - whether you are together from school to old age and death-do-you-part, or for a few short months, one of you, will more than likely shed tears because the relationship ended before you wanted it to.

I very much hope that my partner and I will be together until old age. But only if we are as happy together then as we are now. Otherwise what's the point of limping along? If something happened to either of us, I would hope that the other continues to live a full life and maybe finds happiness in a relationship again.

I enjoy my relationship day to day, its the biggest source of happiness and contentment in my life and has been almost from the very start. But I've had wobbles during tough times, sure. I came close to walking away too when it seemed like our goals were incompatible. But at the time, the reasons to stay outweighed the reasons to leave, and we found a solution to our problem that worked for us both. In the future, who knows? but so far, its all good. I think there must be nothing more demoralising for a relationship than realising that the other person is only with you because they are too insecure to leave you to find happiness elsewhere. For me, the key to this relationship is that I know we are both there by choice. There is a security in knowing he could be anywhere, with anyone, but he prefers to be with you.

He is the person I can count on to support and encourage me. He is the person I can talk to about anything. We are quite different personalities, but balance each other quite well, for instance he is more laid back, I'm more impulsive but together we make balanced decisions if that makes sense?

Respect is hugely important to us. Early on, we established ground rules never to shout or name-call. So all our disagreements are civil, no matter how tough the chat might be. If tempers flare, we park the subject until we are calm enough to talk about it. I think if you are called derogatory names in an argument, you'll always remember it, long after you've forgotten what caused the fight, and its corrosive to respect over time. I would never talk badly of him to others - my friends or family, and he does likewise. I don't believe that you can treat someone you love disrespectfully and not expect it to erode respect and trust over time.

He might be holding my hand as I draw my last breath. Or he could floor me next week by telling me he no longer feels the same about me. But either way, I'll have valued this happy and contented phase of my life, however long it lasts.

WildWater

Ms2011 wrote: »

Saw this on Facebook today:

"Marry the one who makes you feel the same way as you do when you see your food coming in a resturant"

Pretty much what I did lol!!!

What? "Oh feck, why didn't I order something else!"

iwantmydinner

woodchuck wrote: »

I don't mean to derail the thread or anything, but it always seems that people 'just know' they're with the one... until they aren't anymore.

No relationship is perfect. Even if you think your partner is right for you, surely you've all had doubts along the way? Paricularly during any rough patches?

For me personally, I have serious doubts as to how I'll know if I'm with the right person or not. To be honest if I go by most of the comments on here, I don't think I'll ever think someone is right for me... it just seems like everything is being painted in too much of a positive light without taking the more realistic scenarios that pop up in the long term into account.

Sorry if this post comes across negative. But I genuinely do want to know how you all tell that your partner is right for you... but warts and all!!

I can't see anyone here claiming to have a perfect relationship though...?

Greenduck

The day he gave up his seat for two little girls in the theater was the defining moment for me that I knew.

It showed his kindness, awareness of others and his manners without even knowing it. A truly decent human who constantly puts others before himself and would literally do anything for the people he loves. It showed very simply his integrity and strength of character in one simple gesture. I knew at that moment I would never be without him and I had found the right person for me.

It was the best decision I have ever made.

Littlekittylou

Greenduck wrote: »

The day he gave up his seat for two little girls in the theater was the defining moment for me that I knew.

It showed his kindness, awareness of others and his manners without even knowing it. A truly decent human who constantly puts others before himself and would literally do anything for the people he loves. It showed very simply his integrity and strength of character in one simple gesture. I knew at that moment I would never be without him and I had found the right person for me.

It was the best decision I have ever made.

OMG does he have a brother?

Congrats Greenduck!:)

TheBeardedLady

iwantmydinner wrote: »

I can't see anyone here claiming to have a perfect relationship though...?

Either can I. I don't think anyone is saying it's all sunshine and lollipops all the time, I think most people are saying that when the going gets tough, they want to make it work because they believe the person is worth it - their lives would be imaginable without that person, so they do their damnedest to resolve issues whereas they mightn't have been arsed with someone else. I suppose people are discussing what made them feel the person was worth hanging onto.

Greenduck

Littlekittylou wrote: »

OMG does he have a brother?

Congrats Greenduck!:)

4 actually

LenaClaire

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Either can I. I don't think anyone is saying it's all sunshine and lollipops all the time, I think most people are saying that when the going gets tough, they want to make it work because they believe the person is worth it - their lives would be imaginable without that person, so they do their damnedest to resolve issues whereas they mightn't have been arsed with someone else. I suppose people are discussing what made them feel the person was worth hanging onto.

I think this sums it up nicely. Believe me, my husband is not perfect, but then again neither am I, or anyone else.

However, he loves me and believes in me, he helps me be the best me I can be. Umm.. that just sounded really sappy and like something Dr. Seuss would say.

Anyhow, when I am down he helps me to see the good and when I stressed he makes me laugh. For me, these things make it worth dealing with the times that we get frustrated with each other, or take things up cross-wise.

XxMCRxBabyxX

I've had multiple issues in the eight years that we've been together and every time he has stayed with me and looked after me when they've happened when other guys could easily and almost justifiably run has proved to me how lucky I am. Even my parents say so! :-)

Littlekittylou

Greenduck wrote: »

4 actually

Seriously next boards meet up bring them! :P

Sunny Dayz

The moment I knew he was the one was when he wasn't even there! We were seeing each other about 6 months, and one Sunday night I went to the local pub with my parents. I had a good night but all I could think about was how much I wanted him to be there.


I know I am going to explain it all ar$eways but I'll batter away at the keyboard anyway. In the past I always felt like I really had to try with guys and relationships. I had no problem pulling on a night out but that's all the guy wanted but I wanted more and I just wanted to be loved and desired and adored by a guy and I never felt that I was. My other half is the one and only guy I never had to try with. Our relationship did progress at a snail's pace cos I had a tough year or two before we got together but I have never felt so comfortable with another person. For the last 10 years he has been in my life, I have just felt like I'm myself at last. (dammit I'm welling up now!)

eviltwin

I don't know how I knew, been thinking it over that past day or two after seeing this thread and there was no one moment that made me think he was the one. I can think of lots of great things he did but in fairness, most guys I think would be the same. I can think of lots of great qualities he has but again, lots of guys would be the same. Its one of those things, you just know don't you? I can't even say that he completes me or makes me a better person because none of that is true either, I'm fairly independent and self sufficient. All I know is that I love him and he's the only person I can imagine a life with and no one else will ever come close to that.

mojesius

I'm just after giving out about his questionable house cleaning in the RnR forum so this might seem a little insincere now

When I first met him I just got this warmth off him, I felt he had a really good soul.

He is extremely supportive. He encourages me everyday to face my fears, be it going to counselling, going on a big wheel, climbing along cliffs, standing up for myself in tough situations I'd normally run away from, pushing myself mentally and physically.

It's also the little everyday things that he does. If I'm shopping (we live in town with no car), he'll offer to meet me so I'm not lugging bags around. I pulled a hamstring a few weeks ago running and he ran baths for me, made cups of tea, made me stretch out on the couch. If I have a crap day at work he'll bring me for a drink and let me moan.

He constantly talks about our future, kids, travel, dreams. He is completely honest, an open book. I spent years running around after men who just weren't arsed, were complete liars or couldn't accept who I was. But he tells me all the time why he loves me.

He has impeccable manners, which is really important.

But mainly, he is my best friend and we make each other laugh and smile.

TheBeardedLady

eviltwin wrote: »

I don't know how I knew, been thinking it over that past day or two after seeing this thread and there was no one moment that made me think he was the one. I can think of lots of great things he did but in fairness, most guys I think would be the same. I can think of lots of great qualities he has but again, lots of guys would be the same. Its one of those things, you just know don't you? I can't even say that he completes me or makes me a better person because none of that is true either, I'm fairly independent and self sufficient. All I know is that I love him and he's the only person I can imagine a life with and no one else will ever come close to that.

Samezies. Very same.

beks101

His smile is intoxicating. Seriously, it's like a drug. There's no problem or sh1tty day or argument or worry or mood it can't fix. He hasn't stopped smiling at me since I met him, it made me fuzzy inside that first day and every day since.

In all honesty - he's just the most positive person I know. He bloody loves life, loves what he does and always wants the best for me. He encourages me in my career and cheerleads me on every cause, every dream - something I never really had with anyone else. No-one else ever really took an active interest in the things I wanted in life, though some pretended to. Either told me what I wanted to hear or made me feel bad for wanting more in my career or other big life decisions.

This lad's smile gets even wider when I've achieved something I really wanted to achieve. My dreams are his dreams and he's so proud of me it's almost embarrassing

That and he's just the perfect gent. The first evening we spent together after a work course, he beamed that big smile at me on the train through town, we both booked a taxi home and he insisted I got into his when it arrived. Because 'it wouldn't be right' to leave me there. He does things like that because he really believes in taking care of me, even when my stubborn head won't allow it.

meeeeh

It's not that easy to find someone who is prepared to get up at three in the morning to watch F1 Race.

For me there was no great light bulb moment, I just never felt like leaving. I am not a romantic, I don't want grand gestures but sometimes things just work in the most boring and reassuring way. And it's great.

seenitall

Because we make each other feel good, and we're happy in each other's company.

Because chats.

Because snuggles on the sofa.

Because sex.

Because plans.

Because shopping trips, and walks, and pubs, and feeling relaxed.

Because he supports me and cares about me.

Because the worst I've got to know of him, is something I can deal with.

Because it's easy.

wuffly

@woodchuck I don't see many posts referring to perfect relationships, for myself I don't believe in 'the one' if I did I would have screwed myself out of a lot of happiness aged 19 when my first husband died. I know my OH is a keeper because he has always being amazingly selfless when it comes to my past and giving me the time & space I've needed. We have had plenty of our own challenges during our time together but despite the very though times neither of us have looked for the door we have worked through it, because we love each and other and made commitments that we meant and do not want to break. That doesn't mean we won't, there maybe tougher times ahead but there is no else I would rather face them with. No one knows what's around the corner, everyone needs to take what's in front them and assess if for themselves.

ShivaDark

He treats me like a respectable intelligent person instead of a dimwitted sex toy.
He listens to me.

We enjoy each other's company.
We spend nearly every waking hour together without needing solitude (and we're loners).
We have loads of inside jokes and our own slang terms for random things.
We have similar interests and let each other invest time in separate interests.

He cooks every day... Everything he cooks is so delicious. I've went from a size 8 to a size 16 (over a period of 8 years) because I can never get enough of his cooking.

He can make me burst into laughter when I miserable with just one look.

ShiftStorm

When I got together with my OH and was asking the same question as OP's, my friend put it to me like this:

With all your 'before' partners, you have a knot in your stomach - varying in size - but when you meet the right person (and I believe there is more than 1 right person!) , that knot just goes away.

And now I know just what she means! Looking back on my previous relationships, I had to try too hard to make them work and at the same time, got very little out of them.

CathyMoran

He never bores me, he makes me laugh, he has been there for me through really tough times (we married 2 weeks post chemo for oesophageal cancer), he supported me through numerous miscarriages before we finally had out two children...he is the only man that I remember the first time that I met him and he remembers the first time we met too, looking back I was always going to meet him - I still love him as much as I did when I first met him almost 20 years ago and he is also my best friend.

LynnGrace

eviltwin wrote: »

I don't know how I knew, been thinking it over that past day or two after seeing this thread and there was no one moment that made me think he was the one. I can think of lots of great things he did but in fairness, most guys I think would be the same. I can think of lots of great qualities he has but again, lots of guys would be the same. Its one of those things, you just know don't you? I can't even say that he completes me or makes me a better person because none of that is true either, I'm fairly independent and self sufficient. All I know is that I love him and he's the only person I can imagine a life with and no one else will ever come close to that.

Same as this, for me.

loubian

loubian wrote: »

I'm at a point in my relationship where I'm starting to doubt my boyfriend's and I compatibility and was just wondering, how did you boardsies know that your partner was right for you?

Do not think there was ever a way or a point where I "realised" this. Rather by small increments they became more and more involved in my life path. Until suddenly we were discussing purchasing a house and having children. I can not identify a point on our journey where I said "This is who I want". It was an evolutionary process and it would be as easy for me to identify where red becomes orange on a rainbow.

However I do remember a few specific moments where compatibility went the other direction. Gestures or motions or words or events from the other side that made me feel I was in their heart - or trust - or confidence - or mind - in a way no one else in their life was. Moments where you do not realise "They are the one for me" so much as "I can see I really am the one for them".

And I like those moments. Quite special to see what you mean to another person or people.

An Bhanríon

It's hard to put my finger on it, but very early on I knew my husband was very special to me. Two really boring incidents stick out. One was sharing a pot of tea the first time he visited my place. The other was sitting on the sofa reading the newspaper over his shoulder a few months later. It all just felt so nice and relaxed. I also felt, unlike most other men I have dated, he actually saw me for what I was - and liked what he saw! With most other guys I had dated I always felt they presumed I would eventually transform into their ideal woman one day, that I just hadn't quite got there yet.

I suppose we just suit each other. We see the world in a similar way. We handle money the same. We view our families the same. We like to have fun in the same way. In many other ways we are total opposites, but that, I suppose, stops our relationship being boring - and also leads to our rows! But who doesn't have rows with their partner ...

The other thing worth mentioning is that we both always make an effort to make each other's life easier. We make each other cups of tea. We prepare dinner for each other. We drive each other places. We do each others ironing. We help out with each others families. And that all comes naturally, which I think is an indication of a healthy relationship. There isn't one person always making the effort and the other sitting back.

Wow, it was interesting to have a think about that!

lolly28

I didn't have a light bulb or one particular moment when i knew he was for me.

I enjoy "us" and being together, he is the biggest source of the happiness in my life and has been since the start. He is encouraging and supportive. We have the same views on, life in general, families, work, children and money but we do have different personalities but that keeps us grounded, lets us have our own interests too. He is laid back where as i may be a bit more organised and routine driven. But we bounce off each other.

Bad or good day i look forward to seeing him when we are home from work. We help each other and take time out to just talk, whether be sitting down with a cup of tea after dinner or going for a walk. I trust him 100% and i feel like he always has my best interest at heart. Hes my best friend and i couldn't imagine growing old with anyone else or having children with any one else. Fingers crossed we have children and i know i'll be proud to call him my kid's dad as well as my husband (to be).

There isn't many people I would get up at 3am for to watch the F1 with but i do for him!

Georgie.Girl

loubian wrote: »

I'm at a point in my relationship where I'm starting to doubt my boyfriend's and I compatibility and was just wondering, how did you boardsies know that your partner was right for you?

I looked into his eyes... and knew.


and now I'm gonna cry...

barleybooley

Things that I would have always looked for didn't matter a sty when it came to him and just seem silly in hindsight. For one, I always liked older guys but he's a year and a half younger (not a toyboy by any means but it's something that used to be a dealbreaker ). Also, I used to always think good grammar and spelling were very important but this really isn't his forte at all and I honestly couldn't care less. All I know is that we get on amazingly well all the time despite living and working together.

When I think of love between two people, two scenes from two different things always spring to mind; The first is from Nip/Tuck where a wife says to her husband "I love you because of your flaws, not despite them". The second is a scene from Good Will Hunting where Matt Damon is telling Robin Williams about this girl that he met and Robin Williams says the following to him

You're not perfect, sport, and let me save you the suspense: this girl you've met, she's not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other.

and I like to think that we are perfect for each other.

HalloweenJack

She loves me for who I am. She doesn't try to change me. And I feel the same about her. I can completely be myself around her and that's something I've struggled with a lot in my life. We're a brilliant match personality-wise, ying and yang pretty much.

Honestly, the moment when I realised she was someone very special and that I had met an incredible person was very early on. I have some self-harm scars (at the time fairly recent). The first time she asked me about them (as I had some plasters on them) I said I'd fallen on glass playing football or something.

A few weeks later, once we got more serious, I came clean about them and explained all about my problems with anxiety and depression. She was my first GF in three years and in that time I'd been through some really bad times, the worst I'd ever had. I was getting my life back together but being my first relationship since all that, it was a big deal.

Hadn't a clue how she'd react and was genuinely afraid it would freak her out but she just asked me if there was anything she could do to help me out. We'd known each other about a month or two at the time.

That was two years ago and we just keep getting stronger. She's just brilliant.

TheBeardedLady

HalloweenJack wrote: »

She loves me for who I am. She doesn't try to change me. And I feel the same about her. I can completely be myself around her and that's something I've struggled with a lot in my life. We're a brilliant match personality-wise, ying and yang pretty much.

Honestly, the moment when I realised she was someone very special and that I had met an incredible person was very early on. I have some self-harm scars (at the time fairly recent). The first time she asked me about them (as I had some plasters on them) I said I'd fallen on glass playing football or something.

A few weeks later, once we got more serious, I came clean about them and explained all about my problems with anxiety and depression. She was my first GF in three years and in that time I'd been through some really bad times, the worst I'd ever had. I was getting my life back together but being my first relationship since all that, it was a big deal.

Hadn't a clue how she'd react and was genuinely afraid it would freak her out but she just asked me if there was anything she could do to help me out. We'd known each other about a month or two at the time.

That was two years ago and we just keep getting stronger. She's just brilliant.

Argh that made me well up a bit. That's lovely.

larrymickdick

mojesius wrote: »

I'm just after giving out about his questionable house cleaning in the RnR forum so this might seem a little insincere now

When I first met him I just got this warmth off him, I felt he had a really good soul.

He is extremely supportive. He encourages me everyday to face my fears, be it going to counselling, going on a big wheel, climbing along cliffs, standing up for myself in tough situations I'd normally run away from, pushing myself mentally and physically.

It's also the little everyday things that he does. If I'm shopping (we live in town with no car), he'll offer to meet me so I'm not lugging bags around. I pulled a hamstring a few weeks ago running and he ran baths for me, made cups of tea, made me stretch out on the couch. If I have a crap day at work he'll bring me for a drink and let me moan.

He constantly talks about our future, kids, travel, dreams. He is completely honest, an open book. I spent years running around after men who just weren't arsed, were complete liars or couldn't accept who I was. But he tells me all the time why he loves me.

He has impeccable manners, which is really important.

But mainly, he is my best friend and we make each other laugh and smile.

Ditto - my lad does all this too. He knows I'm completely crazy and still loves me. He loves all of me - even the bad bits. I know I loved him the moment I met him. He's my friends brother and he came in for her birthday drinks (I know her through work). My boyfriend at the time was less than interested in spending any time with me. I ended up chatting to him all night and I just remember saying to my friend "if I was single I would be with your brother".

Fast forward a year later when I was single, she arranged another meet up for us on the sly. I feel exactly the same way and so did he. I know this sounds completely OTT, but I never knew what it was like to be happy. I mean really happy. I have this overwhelming sense of joy that catches my breathe sometime when we're together. The only other person that makes me laugh like him is my best friend. I feel like I've know him forever and 2 years later I still get butterflies everytime I see him.

He is my rock and I'm his. I can't even imagine my life without him and feel so grateful to have met him. All the little things he does for me mean so much, he's consistent in his love. Never promises anything he can't deliver and is completely honest with me (which is good if I'm being a diva). He still does the grand gestures too and we're both total romantics (even though we sniff and deny it haha).

Life is never easy, relationships are hard. If you need support or are upset about something I feel you should be able to talk to your partner and have those needs met. Only you can decide if you have what you want/need. No good can come from comparing your relationship to anyone else's. Everyone is different and every relationship is different. I hope you find the answers that you're looking for

Mozzeltoff

I can't describe the feelings I have for him but there's a line from a White Stripes Song that I absolutely love:

"And every breath that is in your lungs, is a tiny little gift to me."

I think that pretty much sums up my feelings for him.

He buys me stupid little presents but I do the same for him. We have our own stupid in jokes and we're constantly play fighting and acting the maggot with each other. He's not afraid to show me how much he loves me and is quite affectionate. After four years we still feel the same way as when we met each other. Long may it continue.