fake tan for men

lufties

Anyone know the best on the market?

lufties

lufties wrote: »

Anyone know the best on the market?

Nutella.

whiskeyman

You've come to the right place to ask...

lufties

whiskeyman wrote: »

You've come to the right place to ask...

Haha **** ye...neanderthals

Zippie84

wanna know my secret? :cool:

lertsnim

lufties wrote: »

Haha **** ye...neanderthals

Fake tan for men?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQZmCJUSC6g

lufties

lertsnim wrote: »

Fake tan for men?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQZmCJUSC6g

I know, I got this stuff from australia called mr browne fake tan..pretty good actually. Next I'm going for the crack and sack

jimgoose

Mix up fresh cowsh1t with a gallon of diesel in a galvanise bucket. Known as the Kiwi Bloke Foundation.

ScumLord

There is no best on the market, all men's fake tan is actually poison used to weed out undesirables.

spongebob89

men are just not men anymore

RomanKnows

You might as well bleach your hoop and wax your nutpurse while you're at it.

lufties

RomanKnows wrote: »

You might as well bleach your hoop and wax your nutpurse while you're at it.

Ah jaysus, no bleaching but I'm gonna get the sack waxed...try somethng different

jimgoose

RomanKnows wrote: »

You might as well bleach your hoop and wax your nutpurse while you're at it.

Kiwi Blokes do that with a livestock syringe full of Chlorus concentrate and a saucepan of candle-grease over a campfire, respectively.

blade1

I dunno, I think this looks pretty good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bVYywTMkYE

jester77

Just drink lots of Sunny Delight

mad muffin

Just be careful

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hksuDOkqx2k

Don't see why it would need to be man-cific

Lash a bitta Sally Hansen on yer pins. You'll be only gorgeous.

Greenmachine

Nobody should wear fake tan.

Magico Gonzalez

"No fake tan". That's the best available.

Sometimes sold as "nah, don't bother"

I have seen it branded as "you will look like the black and white minstrels after a rain shower"

Accept no susbstitute. Any other brand will probably clash with yer handbag.

One eyed Jack

RomanKnows wrote: »

You might as well bleach your hoop and wax your nutpurse while you're at it.

Jesus Christ, I'm weak laughing, quality turn of phrase Sir!

Banjo String

Men with fake tan be like.......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qw0zZttfUaw

OneArt

spongebob89 wrote: »

men are just not men anymore

Damn straight.

We should go back to the good old days of the eighteenth century when men wore high heels, wigs and makeup!

Egginacup

lufties wrote: »

Anyone know the best on the market?

Why would fake tan for men be any different to fake tan for women?

isn't real tan the same for both, I.e. The sun?

anncoates

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXznmGz2fy4

RoboRat

I am pasty white and I used to do a few sessions on the sunbed before I went on holidays, but not anymore when I found out how dangerous they are.

I now use a bit of Nivea gradual tan or Tanorganic tanning oil (neither are too dark, they just take the whiteness away), just so I don't blind other beachgoers.

It might sound vain but I don't really care :-)

beks101

DON'T DO IT

beks101

beks101 wrote: »

DON'T DO IT

Don't mind her.

Do it and post pics.

lufties

RoboRat wrote: »

I am pasty white and I used to do a few sessions on the sunbed before I went on holidays, but not anymore when I found out how dangerous they are.

I now use a bit of Nivea gradual tan or Tanorganic tanning oil (neither are too dark, they just take the whiteness away), just so I don't blind other beachgoers.

It might sound vain but I don't really care :-)

two pages in and the first normal answer

mikeym

Iranoutofideas

You want some of this OP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkmeoYKYctw

KungPao

Just eat lots and lots of carrots.

The Peanut

This could be you OP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD2N2eqCjC0

The_Valeyard

I like my pastey white skin. Sure I may explode into a colour of Orange and red in summer (an original Irish tan) but meh,


Never, ever, ever going to use fake tan.

Just could not be parsed with the effort.

Wash, iron, spray, teeth, done.

The_Valeyard

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Wash, iron, spray, teeth, done.

Which bits do you iron? :eek:

RoboRat

Never, ever, ever going to use fake tan.

I would agree with you there, I am not talking about donning the tanning mitt and going instant brown and walking around like a mummy for a few hours waiting for it to dry....but there are lots of gradual tans which give a slight tan that takes away the whiteness... the tanning oil is actually quite nice, no real smell and no different to a body moisturiser.

Thats just me though, I also exfoliate because I have typical Irish reptile like skin in certain areas and use facial moisturiser. I don't wear skinny jeans or colour coded chinos and spend hours styling my hair but each to their own :-)

Ara ararauna

A tan seems like vanity's poison of preference: be it out of a bottle or from a sun bed.
But then again; don't we all enjoy our skin bronzing in the summer sun?

Maybe the male coco-brown aficionados among us are just more candid about the inherit desire to better our appearances with minimal effort.

Either way its a non-organic tan is an affair I would never dabble in, I tend to view things as being symbolic gestures or having some profound meaning so I'd fear that I've been made into a slave of aesthetics

bb1234567

spongebob89 wrote: »

men are just not men anymore

people who think you have to act a certain way to be classed as a certain gender

Mesrine65

Don't forget to wax your mangina before applying your fake tan OP

nullzero

Wax your chest pluck your eyebrows, apply fake tan, take steroids to increase your muscle mass and decrease your pens size. It's no picnic being a young guy these days. Back in the day all you needed was a bit of hair gel and aftershave.

bb1234567

RoboRat wrote: »

I would agree with you there, I am not talking about donning the tanning mitt and going instant brown and walking around like a mummy for a few hours waiting for it to dry....but there are lots of gradual tans which give a slight tan that takes away the whiteness... the tanning oil is actually quite nice, no real smell and no different to a body moisturiser.

Thats just me though, I also exfoliate because I have typical Irish reptile like skin in certain areas and use facial moisturiser. I don't wear skinny jeans or colour coded chinos and spend hours styling my hair but each to their own :-)

EMBRACE YOUR PALENESS
funny how we all hate being pale and asians and indians and south americans spend so much money on skin lightening products to try and be paler.

jimgoose

bb1234567 wrote: »

people who think you have to act a certain way to be classed as a certain gender

That's what me mate, the legendary Kiwi Super-Bloke, says as he drops off the mother-in-law at the kennels from the transport box of his Massey-Ferguson on the way to a wedding with the Sheila. Clean overalls, dontcherknow.

The_Valeyard

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Which bits do you iron? :eek:

Shirts , Jeans, t-shirts, underwear :P
I wash and massage other parts of my body.

lufties

bb1234567 wrote: »

EMBRACE YOUR PALENESS
funny how we all hate being pale and asians and indians and south americans spend so much money on skin lightening products to try and be paler.

True, its Defo my own insecurity but I always hated people telling me how white I am and kind of sneering about it. I guess I just want to experience how 'having a bit of colour would be'.

jimgoose

lufties wrote: »

True, its Defo my own insecurity but I always hated people telling me how white I am and kind of sneering about it. I guess I just want to experience how 'having a bit of colour would be'.

Don't pander to the insecurity of gobsh1tes. Embrace your Nordicness. Tell them to fcuk off or you'll burn their village and rape all their grannies. Bork-Bork-Bork!!

BBJBIG

No need fur any of dat fake tan shoite. Schlong is long ...

lufties

jimgoose wrote: »

Don't pander to the insecurity of gobsh1tes. Embrace your Nordicness. Tell them to fcuk off or you'll burn their village and rape all their grannies. Bork-Bork-Bork!!

Nordic? I never knew this was boards.no

Call Me Jimmy

BBJBIG wrote: »

No need fur any of dat fake tan shoite. Schlong is long ...

As me granny used to say ye can't go wrong with a schlong that is long

One eyed Jack

lufties wrote: »

True, its Defo my own insecurity but I always hated people telling me how white I am and kind of sneering about it. I guess I just want to experience how 'having a bit of colour would be'.

Lufties if you think the sneering for you having a complexion like Casper was bad, the sneering you'll get for dousing yourself in Ronseal will be at least ten times as bad!

Genuinely, not a good idea for a man to be covering himself in fake tan. I'd hate to witness the bedsheets the next morning if both you and any prospective lady friend you're hoping to impress were wearing fake tan! It'd be like that scene from Trainspotting...

(Actually, no, I don't think I will embed the video clip after watching it there again! :pac:)

ollaetta

Don't mind all that expensive rubbish. Save all your old tea bags and rub yourself all over when you have enough.

Edit: with the tea bag, of course.

Richard tea

I feel if a man wants to use fake tan there must be a referendum held.

Sir Osis of Liver.

'Wow,that orange fake tan really suits you!' said no one ever.