Men vs Women

Heat_Wave

I can't speak for all women but if a guy doesn't text me back it drives me crazy. It will result in me staring at my phone all day.

The question is, is it the same for majority of guys? If a girl doesn't respond to your text would it bother you? I'm not talking a few hours, but perhaps a few days.

It's hard to know when the game is being played or if he's genuinely not interested.

December2012

Staring at your phone all day waiting for a text sounds pretty crazy to me.

Phone call?

My name is URL

Boys vs Girls surely.

What grown man or woman would obsess over and stare at their phones all day just because someone didn't text them back?!

Talib Fiasco

No because I'm not insecure and people have sh*t to do usually.

Macavity.

I wouldn't dwell on it. Staring at a phone for 24 hours is psychotic. :pac:

major bill

No games being played more than likely he just not interested the longer the response the less arsed the person is or maybe they are actually busy.

Women and their games!!!!!!

seventeen sheep

I'm a woman and I'm terrible at texting anyone back.

Ring him?

professore

Heat_Wave wrote: »

It's hard to know when the game is being played or if he's genuinely not interested.

He's either playing a game in which case he's an assh0le, or he's not interested. Either way move on.

professore

Heat_Wave wrote: »

It's hard to know when the game is being played or if he's genuinely not interested.

He's either playing a game in which case he's an assh0le, or he's not interested. Either way move on.

PizzamanIRL

Yes if your text to them requires an answer. You don't want to send a second text in a row either because you look needy.

Tugboats

Heat_Wave wrote: »

I can't speak for all women but if a guy doesn't text me back it drives me crazy. It will result in me staring at my phone all day.

The question is, is it the same for majority of guys? If a girl doesn't respond to your text would it bother you? I'm not talking a few hours, but perhaps a few days.

It's hard to know when the game is being played or if he's genuinely not interested.

I usually scare women away with the amount of texts I send them when I get a phone number. Pm me your number it's sounds like we're compatible

conorh91

I had this conversation with a girl recently. There's an ad on TV for a perfume that is supposed to represent a psychological fantasy experienced by women (or at least, the type of women who buy Chloe products) of having the sexual potency of being able to ignore an attractive man's advances and not bother to take his repeated phone calls.

Is it sexist? Of course.

Is there any truth in the idea that the opposite is often true? I think so. Women are often the ones who will fret over lack of communication. Men often don't care.

That's why this is portrayed as a fantasy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCZ0t7xC2H0

Tearin It Up

If I get one text of a man I go bat sh!t crazy. Its too much texting.

Pwindedd

Heat_Wave wrote: »

I can't speak for all women but if a guy doesn't text me back it drives me crazy. It will result in me staring at my phone all day.

The question is, is it the same for majority of guys? If a girl doesn't respond to your text would it bother you? I'm not talking a few hours, but perhaps a few days.

It's hard to know when the game is being played or if he's genuinely not interested.

Imagine what it was like before mobiles. You had to sit in and wait or pray that someone would take a coherent message. If I had to make a call I used to walk 500 yards to the phone box rather than risk my parents listening in.

Go out or occupy yourself. The faint aroma of desperation can be quite off putting. But you know that already.

Tugboats

Tearin It Up wrote: »

If I get one text of a man I go bat sh!t crazy. Its too much texting.

Martina is that you?

Tearin It Up

Tugboats wrote: »

Martina is that you?

Yes

mfceiling

Heat_Wave wrote: »

I can't speak for all women but if a guy doesn't text me back it drives me crazy. It will result in me staring at my phone all day.

The question is, is it the same for majority of guys? If a girl doesn't respond to your text would it bother you? I'm not talking a few hours, but perhaps a few days.

It's hard to know when the game is being played or if he's genuinely not interested.

I'd say you are in no way a bit of a bunny boiler...

Annasopra

Heat_Wave wrote: »

I can't speak for all women

Great.

Well then dont make silly assumptions about all men and all women.

Heat_Wave

Maybe I am not explaining myself well here.

(Hypothetically) say for instance my friend likes a guy, they met up last week and got along great, he texts her a day later asking how she is, she says shes great and asks how he is, one or two dryish texts back and forth until suddenly he starts leaving a days gap between texts...

Now if this girl was to do exactly as he is doing (taking a day to reply), would the guy be like 'ooh she's playing dirty' lol or will he most likely be like 'fcuk this'?

Annasopra

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Maybe I am not explaining myself well here.

(Hypothetically) say for instance my friend likes a guy, they met up last week and got along great, he texts her a day later asking how she is, she says shes great and asks how he is, one or two dryish texts back and forth until suddenly he starts leaving a days gap between texts...

Now if this girl was to do exactly as he is doing (taking a day to reply), would the guy be like 'ooh she's playing dirty' lol or will he most likely be like 'fcuk this'?

And maybe create clearer thread titles in future.

Tugboats

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Maybe I am not explaining myself well here.

(Hypothetically) say for instance my friend likes a guy, they met up last week and got along great, he texts her a day later asking how she is, she says shes great and asks how he is, one or two dryish texts back and forth until suddenly he starts leaving a days gap between texts...

Now if this girl was to do exactly as he is doing (taking a day to reply), would the guy be like 'ooh she's playing dirty' lol or will he most likely be like 'fcuk this'?

http://www.seventeen.com

Karl Stein

sry bbz I ws on da lash wit d lads, dats how i roll

AstraOwner

Either member of the sexes will feel a bit of a excitement if somebody they like shows interest. Of course they will. And equally they will feel a bit disappointed if they don't. So there's always a bit of that will (s)he/won't (s)he.

If there are days of gaps between texts then it's just taking the piss. Ain't no time for that.

Heat_Wave

I'm 24.

Would total honesty be better? As in rather than play games, ask if he's interested or not.

Perhaps I should have posted this in PI.

Mister Vain

Maybe he wants to wait a while because he doesn't want to seem too keen.

Pwindedd

Heat_Wave wrote: »

I'm 24.

Would total honesty be better? As in rather than play games, ask if he's interested or not.

Perhaps I should have posted this in PI.

In fairness yes possibly. You've gotten off lightly in here so far. This won't last. They can smell vulnerability at a dozen paces and they have no qualms about tearing strips off you. Perhaps a kind Mod will take pity on you and move this thread. Or perhaps they're all really busy and will throw you to the Sharks.

At least it'll take your mind off him not texting you back. You might even laugh.

Heat_Wave

Pwindedd wrote: »

In fairness yes possibly. You've gotten off lightly in here so far. This won't last. They can smell vulnerability at a dozen paces and they have no qualms about tearing strips off you. Perhaps a kind Mod will take pity on you and move this thread. Or perhaps they're all really busy and will throw you to the Sharks.

At least it'll take your mind off him not texting you back. You might even laugh.

What was your advice? Are you saying you don't think he will write back?

tomwaterford

Heat_Wave wrote: »

I'm 24.

Would total honesty be better? As in rather than play games, ask if he's interested or not.

Perhaps I should have posted this in PI.

Maybe he not after seeing it like??

I often be texting ones away grand etc...then not see there msg and wouldn't text back until I sees it...could be hours on end...I'd just wouldn't think to look at the phone if I didn't hear it go off...I wouldn't fret it


*obviously im not advising you to text again/ring up ranting and raving down the phone

Susandublin

If I don't text a guy back there there is a reason - I don't want to. I just assume the reverse is true. If he's interested then he'll text back soon - if he txt me back a week later then I'm not interested. Find it disrespectful so I'm better off without. Think the whole 'playing the game' is lame.
If I done hear back within 48 hours then I'm done. Texts received after this get ignored by me - if a guy wants to 'play games' get yourself an x-box.

ewinslet

Texting at all is for pussies. Ring them ffs.

And this is coming from a 28 year old woman.

Pwindedd

Heat_Wave wrote: »

What was your advice? Are you saying you don't think he will write back?

I'm not sure if he will or won't. Only he knows that. I'm saying don't fret over it. Maybe he's busy, maybe he's playing it cool or maybe "he's just not that into you"

Don't get sucked into games. Every relationship I've ever had worth anything has been based around mutual feelings and no game-playing was necessary.

strobe

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Would total honesty be better? As in rather than play games, ask if he's interested or not.

Dear God yes! A hundred million times yes! Yes be straight and honest. Absolutely. Nothing will obliterate a guys interest faster than a girl playing games. Most are horrendous at it and it's eye scorchingly obvious what they are at. A girl just being straight down the line with you is like cat nip to us men. It's like mega heroin. We adore it and it's the most endearing, desirable, turn ony, ridey thing in the world.

Heat_Wave

strobe wrote: »

Dear God yes! A hundred million times yes! Yes be straight and honest. Absolutely. Nothing will obliterate a guys interest faster than a girl playing games. Most are horrendous at it and it's eye scorchingly obvious what they are at. A girl just being straight down the line with you is like cat nip to us men. It's like mega heroin. We adore it and it's the most endearing, desirable, turn ony, ridey thing in the world.

Hi Strobe, what shall I say? As in how honest should I be?

strobe

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Hi Strobe, what shall I say? As in how honest should I be?

Well what would you like to say? If you knew there was no chance of anything you said going over in any way badly, what would you say?

Heat_Wave

strobe wrote: »

Well what would you like to say? If you knew there was no chance of anything you said going over in any way badly, what would you say?

Well all I'd like is a bit of decency and for him to let me know where I stand. I have been very good to him and have actually gone out of my way to do a few things for him so I feel like his ignorance is a bit of a kick in the face.

So yes, I'd like to know where I stand. Basically I like you, I'd like to know if you feel the same, if not that's cool. Simple as. I would be terrified to admit that I like him!

UCDVet

It's less Men Vs. Women and more 'Whoever wants it more'

There is a whole spectrum of feelings from 'I don't mind giving my number to this person' and 'OH MY GOD! THEY ARE THE MOST AMAZING PERSON IN THE WORLD'.

I've gone out with girls I wasn't that into, and didn't really if they called or texted. I've also met girls where I agonized for hours over what to say to them and then waited anxiously hoping for them to call me/text me back or whatever.

One eyed Jack

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Well all I'd like is a bit of decency and for him to let me know where I stand. I have been very good to him and have actually gone out of my way to do a few things for him so I feel like his ignorance is a bit of a kick in the face.

So yes, I'd like to know where I stand. Basically I like you, I'd like to know if you feel the same, if not that's cool. Simple as. I would be terrified to admit that I like him!

Fundamental problem right there. You feel like you've gone out of your way for this guy and that his ignorance feels like a kick in the face... yet you still like him??

I'd suggest you let this one go and move on, you're obviously not happy with the way things are going so far, and I think you'll only get a double kick in the face were you to go chasing this one up.

If someone likes you, they show an interest, and without knowing the content of your previous exchanges, I'd say this one's dead in the water based on the information you've provided so far unfortunately.

threeball

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Hi Strobe, what shall I say? As in how honest should I be?

Don't over invest yourself in any relationship in such early stages. Two things happen, you end up overthinking everything and getting disappointed/hurt when things don't pan out as you like. If hes fun to interact with then have fun but if you,re both strategising on either end its a disaster. Stay busy but flirty and if he takes forever to respond or isn't fun anymore move on. Just like ex's you've had and will have hes only one fish in a very big pond and theres always another swimming by.

neil_hosey

haha im in a similar situation..

met a girl on the 22nd of dec, messaged her the next day and then finished off the conversation.

I kind of then left it over christmas (friends advice), as people are busy, messaged her 2 days ago and no reply

Now ive to wonder did which of these has happened:

1. Shes was never interested.
2. She didnt like me not messaging for a few days and shes now not interested.
3. She is playing "the game".

*sigh* best to just accept defeat, and if a reply comes, thats a bonus..

tomwaterford

neil_hosey wrote: »

haha im in a similar situation..

met a girl on the 22nd of dec, messaged her the next day and then finished off the conversation.

I kind of then left it over christmas (friends advice), as people are busy, messaged her 2 days ago and no reply

Now ive to wonder did which of these has happened:

1. Shes was never interested.
2. She didnt like me not messaging for a few days and shes now not interested.
3. She is playing "the game".

*sigh* best to just accept defeat, and if a reply comes, thats a bonus..

Why did you not even msg her on xmas day foe happy xmas....I got msgs off people I dont even like/half dated before

Heat_Wave

tomwaterford wrote: »

Why did you not even msg her on xmas day foe happy xmas....I got msgs off people I dont even like/half dated before

I'd imagine it's because he sent the last text three days previous. I would have left it if I were him too. You sent the last text so the ball is in their court to respond. Wouldn't want to come across as needy.

Mister Vain

ewinslet wrote: »

Texting at all is for pussies. Ring them ffs.

And this is coming from a 28 year old woman.

Does that mean sexting is out too?

tomwaterford

Heat_Wave wrote: »

I'd imagine it's because he sent the last text three days previous. I would have left it if I were him too. You sent the last text so the ball is in their court to respond. Wouldn't want to come across as needy.

O Jesus...that messing around does me head in
If you want to text someone text....if your worried what youl come across...why bother??

I often got more than one msg without replying from different people repent seem needy to me

*it should be pointed out that I live in the backarse of nowhere...and sometimes msgs don't come through

strobe

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Well all I'd like is a bit of decency and for him to let me know where I stand. I have been very good to him and have actually gone out of my way to do a few things for him so I feel like his ignorance is a bit of a kick in the face.

So yes, I'd like to know where I stand. Basically I like you, I'd like to know if you feel the same, if not that's cool. Simple as. I would be terrified to admit that I like him!

Well I'd leave out the first paragraph for now. But the second one is bang on the money. I like you, I'd like to know if you feel the same, if not that's cool. Perfect.

Look there's never a reason to be afraid to admit to liking someone. If they feel the same they'll be over the moon to hear it. If they don't then at least you know where you stand and can move on. I mean, either way it's gotta be better then this guessing game stuff you're wrapped up in at the minute, right?

Heat_Wave

Well that's a sad way to enter the New Year. I did the right thing and I was upfront. Unfortunately he doesn't feel the same way, he likes me he said, but not enough

Thanks for all the advice.

tomwaterford

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Well that's a sad way to enter the New Year. I did the right thing and I was upfront. Unfortunately he doesn't feel the same way, he likes me he said, but not enough

Thanks for all the advice.

Fair play to you....at least now you know

threeball

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Well that's a sad way to enter the New Year. I did the right thing and I was upfront. Unfortunately he doesn't feel the same way, he likes me he said, but not enough

Thanks for all the advice.

Why is it sad? Its an answer to a question. You barely know the bloke so move on and pretty soon there'll be someone else. Don't leave your happiness in someone elses hands especially someone you barely know. Now head out and have the craic tonight.

dearg lady

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Well that's a sad way to enter the New Year. I did the right thing and I was upfront. Unfortunately he doesn't feel the same way, he likes me he said, but not enough

Thanks for all the advice.

It's a sad thing right now, but in the grand scheme of things, I think it's very positive! You've done something most of my friends (in their 30's!) are still petrified to do. You took control and know where you stand, kudos!

ewinslet

Mister Vain wrote: »

Does that mean sexting is out too?

Yeah. Why don't you just go and have sex? Or masturbate?
Loser.

One eyed Jack

ewinslet wrote: »

Yeah. Why don't you just go and have sex? Or masturbate?
Loser.

Classic example of why it's always better to call rather than text, because often times things get lost in translation and a joke may be interpreted as something else entirely...

Mister Vain

ewinslet wrote: »

Yeah. Why don't you just go and have sex? Or masturbate?
Loser.

Relax there will ya. It was only a joke.