Things a gentleman should be able to do

Einhard

It seems to me that a lot of skills that would have been common in my father's or grandfather's times are no longer so prevalent amongst the current crop of gentleman. Everyday, simple skills that were necessary or simply advantageous to have in bygone days are falling by the wayside due to changing lifestyles and increasingly omnipresent technology. Why learn how to re-wire a plug when the building's handyman can do it for you; why bother acquiring the ability to tell North from South when an app will do it for you?

Of course I'm generalising here. Lots of gentlemen know lots of skills, but I d think that there has been some slippage. And I'm at the head of the pack when it comes to these un- or under-acquired skillsets. So I thought it might be an interesting project to assemble a list of the skills and abilities that a gentleman should have, and set about working on the list in the new year. Maybe acquire a new skill every two weeks or something.

And, not having acquired the skill of compiling exhaustively complete lists, I thought I'd turn to the upstanding denizens of The GC for inspiration. Put simply, can you add a few skills or abilities that you believe every man should have in an ideal society. Anything and everything can be included, but try to keep it somewhat serious!

I'll start with a few:

1. The ability to wire a plug
2. The ability to sew a button onto a shirt/ simple darning
3. The ability to chart a course using the sun or stars or other natural methods
4. The ability to change a tyre on a car


And so on and so forth...

(this is where you lot come in! )

Jawgap

Shave with a cut-throat razor

Tie a double windsor

Tie a bow tie

skallywag

Jawgap wrote: »

Shave with a cut-throat razor

Tie a double windsor

Tie a bow tie

I must shamefully say that I cannot do any of the above

For my own contribution I will add:

* Mend a puncture on a bicycle.
* Set a nice fire (coal or wood).
* Open a metal topped bottle without the need for a bottleopener.

Sugar Free

Jawgap wrote: »

Tie a double windsor

Tie a bow tie

Agree with this though I would proffer that a full Windsor knot would be the least preferred knot unless using a tie of thin material. A Pratt/Shelby or FIH knot would be my choice.

My own addition - and not part of the skillset of many men from previous generations - is the ability to:

- Iron properly. No man should have to rely on his mother or some other significant woman in his life to wear a respectable looking shirt.

- Cook a decent meal from scratch. I'm not saying meals should be of Michelin star quality but they should definitely be beyond pour in sauces and be of a decent enough standard to serve to guests if you had them over for dinner.

TommieBoy

~ write a love letter
~ court a woman
~ dance

J Mysterio

Be able to name the varieties of trees about the place.

Thephantomsmask

Polish a pair of shoes properly, a proper mirror shine is something my grandad taught me yet it appears to be a dying art in favour of shine pads at best.

lazybones32

These practicalities are things that every able-bodied man should be able to do. Knowledge of these doesn't make a man a Gentleman. Every gentleman is a man but not every man is a gentleman.

Bleed and flush heating system.
Know your fuse box.
Cook food.
Use a washing machine and dishwasher.

Heavy Pierre

Sugar Free wrote: »

Agree with this though I would proffer that a full Windsor knot would be the least preferred knot unless using a tie of thin material. A Pratt/Shelby or FIH knot would be my choice.

My own addition - and not part of the skillset of many men from previous generations - is the ability to:

- Iron properly. No man should have to rely on his mother or some other significant woman in his life to wear a respectable looking shirt.

- Cook a decent meal from scratch. I'm not saying meals should be of Michelin star quality but they should definitely be beyond pour in sauces and be of a decent enough standard to serve to guests if you had them over for dinner.

Full Windsor knot is the way to go. FIH knots have a tendency to become loose. Also Pratt knots can look lopsided.

The Gibzilla

"A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't."
- Tom Waits.

Standman

Was a thread on this a couple of years back:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=71393952

Manach

Know the correct forms of fighting a duel over an affair of honour. For as Chesterton said, 'Even a bad shot is dignified when he accepts a duel'.

Brussels Sprout

• Parallel park
• Tell a joke properly
• Fix a dripping tap
• Build a campfire and keep it burning
• Know how to smoke a cigar
• Solve a quadratic equation
• Not renege on his word (including wagers)

Iwasfrozen

Einhard wrote: »

It seems to me that a lot of skills that would have been common in my father's or grandfather's times are no longer so prevalent amongst the current crop of gentleman. Everyday, simple skills that were necessary or simply advantageous to have in bygone days are falling by the wayside due to changing lifestyles and increasingly omnipresent technology. Why learn how to re-wire a plug when the building's handyman can do it for you; why bother acquiring the ability to tell North from South when an app will do it for you?

Of course I'm generalising here. Lots of gentlemen know lots of skills, but I d think that there has been some slippage. And I'm at the head of the pack when it comes to these un- or under-acquired skillsets. So I thought it might be an interesting project to assemble a list of the skills and abilities that a gentleman should have, and set about working on the list in the new year. Maybe acquire a new skill every two weeks or something.

And, not having acquired the skill of compiling exhaustively complete lists, I thought I'd turn to the upstanding denizens of The GC for inspiration. Put simply, can you add a few skills or abilities that you believe every man should have in an ideal society. Anything and everything can be included, but try to keep it somewhat serious!

I'll start with a few:

1. The ability to wire a plug
2. The ability to sew a button onto a shirt/ simple darning
3. The ability to chart a course using the sun or stars or other natural methods
4. The ability to change a tyre on a car


And so on and so forth...

(this is where you lot come in! )

Surely a gentleman would have servants to do all of that for him?

I took this thread to something of an extreme myself some years ago. I have a lot of land around my house due to a fortunate purchase and I decided I would not just rectify my lack of plug wiring skills but my lack of any skills. I became the ultimate DIY junkie.

To the point I ended up building a house. Foundations - cellar - walls - wiring - plumbing - insulation - the lot. It it not a huge affair. Its very open plan - rugged - but high tech in a few ways too. Bathroom - bedroom - open plan kitchen/living/eating area. So I guess these days I am well able to wire a plug and work out how to replace the washers on some taps

I do not see anything as being pretty gentlemanly per se however. My daugther is 4 and I have already thought her how to wire a plug - do fuses - and a few other tricks with hammers and screw drivers. Though she knows well also never to engage in any of this unsupervised. She will be every bit as capable as any of your or my grandparents by the time she is 12.

I therefore struggle with defining the word "Gentleman" which is why I am on this area of the forum - hoping I will work out a definition that fits. I can not think of anything that fits that word for me that does not equally apply to women. Someday I might

animum

I am proud to say, all of the above my ten year old can do..

mostly learned through scouts, he can wire a plug, tell north from south, know a fair few trees, can change a fuse in a plug, alot from scouts and in fact I learned the same skills through girl guides.

I new generation of gentlemen on their way.

J Mysterio

[Deleted User] wrote: »

My daugther is 4 and I have already thought her how to wire a plug - do fuses - and a few other tricks with hammers and screw drivers.

lol, yeah.

J Mysterio

J Mysterio wrote: »

lol, yeah... Sure.

Yip. She also thought me recently how to do loom bands. Pretty dextrous stuff it is too - took me multiple(!) tries to get it right too.

Kids are far more capable at things than we give them credit for and when you sit them down and show them how to do things that require simple dexterity and repetitive action - they are insanely good at it. And wiring a plug when you think about it - is not the hardest thing in the world by far. Id love to know which step in the process your skeptical reaction is focused on

They will surprise you with their skills - if you let them. They can also sit and mindlessly watch peppa pig for hours if you let them do that too

Though I love how your skepticism leapt first to a 4 year old wiring a plug and not a 30 year old learning masonry plumbing and electronics to the degree he built his own house

animum wrote: »

I am proud to say, all of the above my ten year old can do..

mostly learned through scouts, he can wire a plug, tell north from south, know a fair few trees, can change a fuse in a plug, alot from scouts and in fact I learned the same skills through girl guides.

I new generation of gentlemen on their way.

Its one of the great things about having kids. You get to relearn this stuff by teaching it to them. Or learning it yourself to teach to them. In fact I have read a few times that the BEST way to learn anything is to spend the time while learning it - working out how you will teach it to someone else. Rather than absorb facts and skills therefore - you really engage with the fact and skills in your planning of how to re transmit them to the next person.

Jawgap

animum wrote: »

I am proud to say, all of the above my ten year old can do..

mostly learned through scouts, he can wire a plug, tell north from south, know a fair few trees, can change a fuse in a plug, alot from scouts and in fact I learned the same skills through girl guides.

I new generation of gentlemen on their way.

Must be a scout thing........

I'm still tying bowlines, sheep shanks etc 30 years after I left!!

So to add I think a gentleman should be able to tie the following knots......

• The reef knot - always useful along with the sheepshank
• the bowline - for tying up one's yacht (extra bonus points for being able to it one handed!!) or the round turn and two (or more) half hitches
• The highway man's hitch - for tying up your horse
• How to splice a rope and to coil unattached rope neatly and properly using a gasket type coil.

Sugar Free

Heavy Pierre wrote: »

Full Windsor knot is the way to go. FIH knots have a tendency to become loose. Also Pratt knows can look lopsided.

We'll have to agree to disagree on which knot though I'm sure we can both agree being able to properly tie at least one knot is important!

ancapailldorcha

Deleted User wrote: »

I took this thread to something of an extreme myself some years ago. I have a lot of land around my house due to a fortunate purchase and I decided I would not just rectify my lack of plug wiring skills but my lack of any skills. I became the ultimate DIY junkie.

To the point I ended up building a house. Foundations - cellar - walls - wiring - plumbing - insulation - the lot. It it not a huge affair. Its very open plan - rugged - but high tech in a few ways too. Bathroom - bedroom - open plan kitchen/living/eating area. So I guess these days I am well able to wire a plug and work out how to replace the washers on some taps

Do you mind if I ask how you accomplished that, T? Books, help from neightbours or friends, Youtube videos, etc? That's quite an achievement.

Pat Mustard

Given the specialization of jobs that there is today, I reckon that a lot of basic skills are just not prevalent any more.

If you go back to the 1950s, I understand that people were carrying out their own auto repairs. Granted, the electronics in today's motors makes self repair a tougher task now but it just isn't done to the same extent at all anymore as far as I can see.

I have to say that I quite admire the likes of Crapbag in the Bushcraft thread in Outdoor Pursuits. He is a big advocate of primitive skills. http://touch.boards.ie/thread/2055315103/1

If I had to pick a skill I would choose starting a fire without a lighter or matches.

Jawgap

Got to be honest and say there's a lot of stuff there that anyone with any reasonable scouting experience to venture level could do.

Thanks my years spent scouting I can still tie plenty of useful knots (and lashings- incredibly useful for shelter building), start a fire without matches, navigate using a map & compass, tell direction (not just N,S,E, & W) with an analogue watch, figure out how much daylight is left on any given day, cook (without utensils), make a biscuit tin oven, as well as first aid and 'hygiene in the field.'

In later years, post-scouting I learned how to skin and butcher, and how to forage for wild mushrooms.

Sephiroth_dude

Squat, deadlift, rows and run for 30 minutes straight.

Change a tyre

Not be afraid to cry or show emotion

Be able to do chin up/pull ups

Gut a fish

Shave with a knife

braddun

build a house


repair a car


divine for water


tell the time by the sun

EoghanIRL

Have good water pressure in house . Nothing worse than bad water pressure .

ancapailldorcha

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Do you mind if I ask how you accomplished that, T? Books, help from neightbours or friends, Youtube videos, etc? That's quite an achievement.

Books and videos sure - but mostly forums on different things. DIY fanatics - hobbyists and the like. Couple of trade friends gave me pointers too. So it was an amalgamation of things.

Was a nice project to do on my land - and in the end I let a girl I met from the internet who needed a bit of help stay there a couple of years for free with her brother. So it became a charity thing too. Also helped to have the building lived in a bit too.

Wibbs

The Mustard wrote: »

Given the specialization of jobs that there is today, I reckon that a lot of basic skills are just not prevalent any more.

Very much so TM. I was lucky in some ways in that my dad was born before 1920 and was an engineer, so I grew up with that fix it if you can mentality.

If you go back to the 1950s, I understand that people were carrying out their own auto repairs. Granted, the electronics in today's motors makes self repair a tougher task now but it just isn't done to the same extent at all anymore as far as I can see.

Yep and I've seen that up close. A few years back I was going out with someone who was a bit younger than me. Anyhoo, she reckoned her car needed a service and her garage was charging like a wounded bull for the privilege(IMHO). So I said feck that, I'll service your car and show you how for future reference. So I bought the oil, filters, brake pads etc and went ahead, with the help of the interwebs for her particular model. Anyway, some of her male mates were there on the day and they were self describing petrolheads and they were watching me do the service like I was practicing some arcane alchemy. These days with the interwebs it's actually easier to do this stuff, yet so few do. Oh and she picked it up first time and did her own servicing afterwards.

If I had to pick a skill I would choose starting a fire without a lighter or matches.

I can actually do that TM. Oh and knock up stone tools(Neandertal stylee) in a pinch. If it was 80,000 years ago I'd be in the back of the cave with the slow kids, but I can actually do it after a fashion.

Sephiroth_dude wrote: »

Squat, deadlift, rows and run for 30 minutes straight.

Oh god no SD. Unless you have a cardiologist and you want to test the local emergency services response time...

Change a tyre

Check.

Not be afraid to cry or show emotion

Depending entirely on circumstances, but yep.

Be able to do chin up/pull ups

I can do a couple... See above.

Gut a fish

Yep, though actually catching the fish in the first place is the real trick.

Shave with a knife

I've shaved with an obsidian blade. Oh yes. Full caveman here. Though I would add, the ability to actually grow a beard, that wasn't a few sparse hairs on the upper lip and some bum fluff below the chin line. There's a reason why "neckbeard" is a pejorative term. OK if you're 17, but if you're 27, get thee to an endocrinologist and fast.

ancapailldorcha

Sephiroth_dude wrote: »

Squat, deadlift, rows and run for 30 minutes straight.

Change a tyre

Not be afraid to cry or show emotion

Be able to do chin up/pull ups

Gut a fish

Shave with a knife

I can do one of these. Excellent.

Deleted User wrote: »

Books and videos sure - but mostly forums on different things. DIY fanatics - hobbyists and the like. Couple of trade friends gave me pointers too. So it was an amalgamation of things.

Fair play though. Can't have been easy or quick.

Deleted User wrote: »

Was a nice project to do on my land - and in the end I let a girl I met from the internet who needed a bit of help stay there a couple of years for free with her brother. So it became a charity thing too. Also helped to have the building lived in a bit too.

I think I read this in one of your old posts. Again, fair play.

MrPudding

Heavy Pierre wrote: »

Full Windsor knot is the way to go. FIH knots have a tendency to become loose. Also Pratt knots can look lopsided.

I find the full windsor to be a bit bulky. The lack of symmetry in the FIH offends me... Half Windsor is my standard knot.

MrP

fits

I really really like it when a man can dance well, and lead. Few my age can unfortunately.

smcgiff

skallywag wrote: »

* Open a metal topped bottle without the need for a bottleopener.

This is an easy one and a good party trick.

All you need is a piece of paper, say an A4 page. Ask anyone if they can open a bottle with just this piece of paper? Most will look at you like you are mad.

Get the piece of paper and keep folding it until you cannot fold it anymore, it become quite toughened and using the thumb of the hand holding the bottle as the fulcrum lever the cap off with your paper wedge. Works handily.

Jawgap

Using a wine screw properly would be a relevant 'gentlemanly' skill.

Along with being able to open a bottle of Champers with a cavalry sabre.

monkeynuz

I assume you mean corkscrew.

Sabrage is overly ostentatious and wastes too much champagne.

Jawgap

monkeynuz wrote: »

I assume you mean corkscrew.

Sabrage is overly ostentatious and wastes too much champagne.

Corkscrew....




Winescrew (sometimes called a sommelier's knife)......



.......and sabering wastes very little, if it's done properly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LEbNHF-oyo

If the Champers gushes it's too warm or been handled in appropriately.

monkeynuz

Wine screw/sommeliers knife - always called waiters friend.

Sabrage is tacky and most in gentlemanly only for masters of ceremony

Jawgap

monkeynuz wrote: »

Wine screw/sommeliers knife - always called waiters friend.

Not in any of the hotels I worked in plus I'd say mention that anything a sommelier did or had was associated with 'waiting' would likely have seen the sharp end of the knife to put to use:D

monkeynuz wrote: »

Sabrage is tacky and most in gentlemanly only for masters of ceremony

Well, I've seen it done in officers' messes and it fits with Escoffier's ideas of dining as theatre.

monkeynuz

Yes entertaining as theatre not what a gentleman does.

Always a waiters friend and nothing else.

I prefer a proper corkscrew with brush.

Jawgap

monkeynuz wrote: »

Yes entertaining as theatre not what a gentleman does.

Always a waiters friend and nothing else.

I prefer a proper corkscrew with brush.

A 'waiter's friend' is possibly something you get from the wine distributor's rep.

I think you'll find something like the Code38 is a sommelier's knife.

I prefer my winescrew - the foil cutter is useful to have.

monkeynuz

Depending on your wine cellar a brush is far more useful.

Bored_lad

Jawgap wrote: »

Well, I've seen it done in officers' messes and it fits with Escoffier's ideas of dining as theatre.

Although it might have fit in with Escoffier's ideas of dining as theatre I don't think it fits in now a days with modern cuisine and molecular gastronomy's ideas of dining as and experience.

That being said I think it looks cool and have seen it done at a number of events where the person holding the party or master of ceremony what ever you want to call them opened the first bottle by sabering and the rest were opened normally as the night went on.

Jawgap

Bored_lad wrote: »

Although it might have fit in with Escoffier's ideas of dining as theatre I don't think it fits in now a days with modern cuisine and molecular gastronomy's ideas of dining as and experience.

That being said I think it looks cool and have seen it done at a number of events where the person holding the party or master of ceremony what ever you want to call them opened the first bottle by sabering and the rest were opened normally as the night went on.

Molecular gastronomy is a modern manifestation of Escoffier - philosophically the roots are common. Blumenthal wrote the foreword for the latest edition of 'La Guide Culinaire.' It's an essay explaining Escoffier's relevance to 'modern' ideas and 'modern' cuisine, including molecular gastronomy.

monkeynuz

Jawgap wrote: »

A 'waiter's friend' is possibly something you get from the wine distributor's rep.

I think you'll find something like the Code38 is a sommelier's knife.

I prefer my winescrew - the foil cutter is useful to have.

Waiters friend and sommelier knife are one and the same thing, not that I have ever owned either.

OnTheCouch

MrPudding wrote: »

I find the full windsor to be a bit bulky. The lack of symmetry in the FIH offends me... Half Windsor is my standard knot.

MrP

Yeah the lack of symmetry really annoys me also. Half Windsor and Pratt are far superior I find, especially with current trends, which mean that for many collars and ties the Windsor just looks way too bulky or isn't appropriate.

skallywag wrote: »

* Open a metal topped bottle without the need for a bottleopener.

This can be done surprisingly easily with a spoon, even though it may sting slightly if you're not used to it or don't use correct technique.

Yeah I may be lacking somewhat in the whole 'gentleman proficiency' lark, although in recent years I've been getting a lot better. Up until as late as my mid-twenties I'd have been pretty much useless at most of the aforementioned things.

Since then I've learnt how to iron, cook (well nothing special but enough to survive on), few things about cars, eg change tyre, oil, how to jump start etc (although my knowledge is still fairly basic) various tie knots, and a few other practical things.

Mind you, I still have no clue about most outdoors stuff, other than say chopping wood, or a lot of the inner workings of the house, how to bleed radiators for instance. So still a lot to learn.

I do wonder how much of what you know is down to the environment you're brought up in and how much is initiative on your own part. I never went to scouts or anything like that, nor did we ever have any technical subjects at school such as metalwork. The emphasis was very much on more academic courses. Most of my peers who followed the same path as myself would be equally as inept at most of the tasks mentioned.

Plus some people are undoubtedly born with a natural curiosity for building stuff and mechanics. We all know the type. You can have a fairly good idea from when these people are quite young what they will be good at when they are older.

But then I have found that most of these useful skills can be learnt via Youtube videos fairly easily. So how much of it is your milieu where you grew up and how much of it is down to personal desire for more knowledge?

Poor Uncle Tom

Apart from all those mentioned already I would like to mention:

Using a chainsaw and all manner of assorted tools, knowing the petrol/oil mix ratios as well as the spark plug spacings (thickness of Major box paper) for Hedge cutter, strimmers and saw. BTW only fair weather DIYers use electric models. If any of them don't start on or before the third pull, you have failed as a man. Remember, It will also be necessary to be able to sharpen the hedge cutter blade, string the strimmers and tighten the chainsaw blade, as to use any of these potent symbols of manliness without fully demonstrating your capable mechanical knowledge will be viewed as failure by any observing eyes under ten years of age.

Clean a chimney. This activity demonstrates to all observing females and impressionable youngsters that you can use a ladder, or that you can get onto the roof while using only open windows and window cills while having the chimney brush and rods slung over your shoulder like a quiver of arrows. This will combine a necessary manly duty with a full body workout, however there is no need to overdo it, this activity should only be considered if it's being undertaken early on a bath day...;)

There is no need to be all your time in the garden to be considered an accomplished horticulturalist, just make sure the Queen seed is in at least ten inches of well fertilised soil before Paddy's day. Cover the drills with straw if heavy frost is due, this impresses everyone and their ancestors can be seen nodding their approval in the wondrous expressions of all onlookers. The knowledge that you will be aiten flowerys with butter in June is reward enough for scrapin the shoite out from under your nails.

There are loads more but I can't be arsed right now....

Wibbs

Jawgap wrote: »

Using a wine screw properly would be a relevant 'gentlemanly' skill.

Screw top cap for the win *runs*

Along with being able to open a bottle of Champers with a cavalry sabre.

I thought the real knack to opening a bottle of Champagne was to do so with the minimal of popping, drama and loss of the vital liquid? Or maybe I'm just cheap and won't waste a drop.

Poor Uncle Tom

Wibbs wrote: »

Screw top cap for the win *runs*

Philistine......

I thought the real knack to opening a bottle of Champagne was to do so with the minimal of popping, drama and loss of the vital liquid? Or maybe I'm just cheap and won't waste a drop.

The only acceptable time a tea towel should be seen in the hands of a man....

368100

Dance a waltz properly

ancapailldorcha

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Fair play though. Can't have been easy or quick.

It was not 100% solo to be totally honest. For example when you need a foundation dug - leave a couple of crates of beer beside a pile of tools - and they start to show up and beer disappears and holes appear in its place.

Its kinda like "If you build it they will come" only a little earlier in the process.

Sleepy

Buy lingerie for a lady without resorting to on-line shopping.

Unclasp a bra with one hand.

Sooth a crying baby.

Roll a cigarette.

Tie a bow-tie.

Pour a pint of Guinness correctly.

Diagnose and repair problems with household equipment e.g. washing machine

NoMore MrNiceGuy

Sleepy wrote: »

Buy lingerie for a lady without resorting to on-line shopping.

Unclasp a bra with one hand.

Sooth a crying baby.

Roll a cigarette.

Tie a bow-tie.

Pour a pint of Guinness correctly.

Diagnose and repair problems with household equipment e.g. washing machine

Im apparantly going to have to smoke now.