The Gentlemen's Compendium - General Man Tips

Righy Tighty, Lefty Loosy

:pac:

Learn to tie some basic knots, they come in extremely handy sometimes.

Bowline:



Probably most important one, it'll never come undone. The more weight it carries the stronger the knot gets.

Figure of Eight:


Very simple one stopping ropes from running through holes.

Single Fishermans knot:


This is a real handy one for tying two ropes together securely.

Also may seem obvious but I've seen people make this mistake - when you are changing a flat make sure you loosen the bolts on the tire before you jack the car, not after.

This is a handy (if a bit conservative) guide to formal wear. How to wear it, the basic etiquette surrounding it and what to wear on certain occasions. Very useful.

Never give up your seat for a pregnant woman on a bus/train......better to leave a pregnant woman standing than have a fat woman sitting down crying!!

On a more serious note.....

Always keep a few decent tools in your toolbox eg hammer, screwdrivers, adjustable wrench etc.
Don't buy the cheapest available - a job is way easier to do when you use a "decent" tool to do it with.

floss.

dear God men, floss your teeth at least once a day. if you don't want to use the big long string, get the floss on the stick, but do it. otherwise you're missing HALF the dirt building up on your teeth.

Standman wrote: »

Also may seem obvious but I've seen people make this mistake - when you are changing a flat make sure you loosen the bolts on the tire before you jack the car, not after.

And apply the handbrake.

I was nearly de-toed while chivalrously helping a lady ...

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Following on from Dr G's how to tie a bow tie,how to tie a windsor knot.

It took me a while to get it down but IMO it looks so much better than a regular knot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfv782Ix8zI

It's seriously worth your effort learning this. I spent 10 minutes learning it a few weeks ago and the difference is unreal. All the other ones tend to look awfully lobsided I think

Iron a dress shirt (That is a proper shirt with sleeves, cuffs and collars).
For first-timers using the iron the very best method is to use the wife (gf/mammy) as an instructor. Make her a cuppa and ask her to show you how it's done. After that you simply have to improve on what they showed you as you all know wimminz can't use power tools properly and an iron IS a power tool.

For those who don't have access to an instructor lets start at the beginning.
You'll need the following:
Shirts.
Spray starch.
Water.
Ironing board.
Iron.
Extension lead.
Beer.

Shirts come in many different materials, cottons, silk, polyester, poly-cotton, nylon, rayon, linen...It's useful to know what your shirt is made of as the different materials require different heat settings. Luckily there is a handy little label stitched into the majority of shirts telling you what the shirt is made from. Read the label. If you are doing a few shirts of different materials then organise them by heat required, coolest first (silks) through cottons and up to linens (hawt!). Shirts should be damp when ironing, it makes life easier. I steal a houseplant mist spray thingy and give 'em a good squirt then ball them up together for 10 minutes just to damp 'em down.

Spray starch is a bit old fashioned but incredibly useful item to add a little stiffness to your shirt keeping that 'just ironed' look for longer.
Water for the iron and for damping your shirts.

Ironing boards are custom made flat collapsible boards with a softish covering, tapered at one end and having a heat resistant pad at the other. They are at their maximum extension a foot to low and two foot too short. They are stupidly designed. Some carry a little miniature iron board with them for ironing collars. It too is stupid and useless. An old blanket on a solid kitchen table is just as good.

Irons are the business! These delicious power tools have a myriad of uses from cracking walnuts or removing stubborn wallpaper to doorstops to convenient weights for compressing two bits of glued wood together while the glue goes off. Brilliant things altogether. Used one as a hammer one, did the job but not as efficiently as a good hammer would have done.
Old fashioned irons used to be heated over an open fire. You'll still find them adorning the shelves of 'Oirish Pubs' whenever you go abroad. Electric irons became fashionable and then technology went mad and 'Steam Iron' are what we all use these days. The perforated sole of the iron heats up electrically and steam from a small water reservoir jets through the perforations. Steam is good for ironing as it relaxes the fibre threads.

Extension leads are essential to get the iron and board in front of the telly. Ironing is dull but you can always cast an eye on 'Movies for Men' just to keep a little sanity during the process.

Beer. 'nuff said.

There are two different approaches to ironing. Some like the once a day every day approach where they use the iron on a single shirt every morning. Other prefer the bulk approach, 2 dozen shirts at a go to get you through a fortnight/month.

OK, here we go - at last. As mentioned above try to have the shirt slightly damp. Find out what material it is and set the dial of the iron to that material. Fill the water reservoir, plug the iron in and let it heat up. That should only take a minute or two.

Check the sole of the iron and clean it on a cloth just in case some idiot was using it to hold bits of glued wood together, or more likely the last time they used it they burnt something and you don't want the burn stains to come off on your lovely clean shirt. (Note: To avoid burning ALWAYS keep the iron moving over the material.)

While the iron is heating open all the buttons on the shirt. Lay the collar flat on the board and give it a pass with the starch. Now, starting at the tip of the collar move the iron towards the centre of the collar. It should push a small wave of material in front of it. This is because of the construction of a shirt collar. There is a little extra material over the collar lining so that it can curve. Now do the same from the other collar tip, pushing the material to the centre of the collar. Fold the collar and press it with the iron at the fold. Do this a few inches at a time remembering that it is meant to curve around your neck and flat ironing it causes wrinkles.

Yay! Deep breath, drink beer. That is the difficult bit over and done with.

Pull the shirt over the front of the board so that the tapered end catches in the armpit of the shirt. Pull the bottom of the shirt - straighten it out. Flat iron as much as you can without going over the edge of the ironing board (that will cause welts on the shirt). Take care doing around the buttons on the plackat - the strip of material on your shirt with the buttons and buttonholes. Precision ironing with the tip of the power tool here, wimminz always miss that bit. The power tool even has a little gap at the tip to allow you to get right under each button. Genius!

Move the shirt around, ironing as you go. The next bit to worry about is the pleats on the back of the shirt. Pffft, don't worry, easy as driving a nail. Simply tug the shirt tail till the pleat looks straight and then whap the iron down on it.

Keep moving the shirt around till you eventually get back to the other placket.

The shoulders are next. Hook 'em over the taper and pull them as straight as you can. Iron the straight bits. Move the shirt till you can get more bits of the shoulders flat and iron them. After a bit of jiggling it should be all done.

Cuffs are constructed the same way as collars, a bit of extra material on the outside so that it can curve wrinkle free around your wrist. So, just like the collar give them a spray of starch and iron them from the edges to the centre.

Arms are easy enough and in the day of wearing a jacked all day lone sleeves might not even have to be ironed. If you do iron 'em then lay them flat along the seam and iron from shoulder to cuff. The cuff end has lots of folds and pleats so just the same as you did on the back of the shirt just tug them till they are flat and whap the iron on them again.

Now fasten the buttons of your shirt right up including the collar and stick a wooden hanger into it. You could add extra starch to the front panels of the shirt and iron them again if you like the feel of a stiff one. If you are not using a hanger then learn how to fold your shirt for stacking in a drawer. (I may write lesson on that some day)
Drink beer.

Congratulations, you are done apart from the tidy up. If there is any water left in the iron empty it out. Put the iron somewhere out of the way as it does take a bit of time to cool down. Put the ironing board away, coil up your extension lead.

Finish beer. The iron should be cool enough now to coil up the lead and out it away in the cupboard without causing fires.
Happy days.

Anyone else have the urge to iron?

oh...just me