Trivial things that annoy you Part 27

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

No G, but I don't think it was santa coming down your chimney, I think you have a pervy neighbour.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

danrua01 wrote: »

So far we've zero proof you aren't fictional... I can't accept these words now!

You got me. I'm really the man coming down the chimneys of boardsies.

jimgoose

LexieOnRale wrote: »

You got me. I'm really the man coming down the chimneys of boardsies.

Can I be the Innuendo? That is, piss me off an' I'll sneak Innuendo and getcha!

gramar

LexieOnRale wrote: »

You got me. I'm really the man coming down the chimneys of boardsies.

Well If I ever catch you having a tommy tank and messing up my chimney you'll be cleaning it up!

danrua01

LexieOnRale wrote: »

You got me. I'm really the man coming down the chimneys of boardsies.

Thank god I've an electric fireplace in!

Aglomerado

gramar wrote: »

Well If I ever catch you having a tommy tank and messing up my chimney you'll be cleaning it up!

he he, sooty....

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

My main life ambition is to own a piglet. I had asked my dad for about four years before he died but he was having none of it. Still, I'm persistent so I'm sure I'd have eventually wore him down.

So now I ask my oh, and he is even more stubborn than my dad. Every occasion that he has to buy presents for, I ask for a piglet, yet here I am, piglet free. So, I sometimes send him pictures of two piglets side by side and get him to pick out his one and name it. He always names his wilbert.

Anyway. The last few weeks we haven't been getting on. On Wednesday night I asked him to shuffle on for a while, so he went to stay with his parents. Today, texting he's being all like "Id do anything to make you happy". Anything? "Anything" he confirmed. You know what would really make me happy? A piglet.

The dope sends me a photo of a pig wearing wellies. A photo. No, we are beyond photos now. Only a real one will make me happy now. And even though he's trying to get back in my good books, he tells me it's the best he can do.

So. Now I'm annoyed at him for saying no again but also annoyed at him for him saying he just wants me to be happy but he's the only on standing in the way of me and a piglet

eisenberg1

I would love a piglet, on a spit over a BBQ,
a few baked potatoes, and a gallon of Carlsberg to wash it all down.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

That's terrible

Boom_Bap

LexieOnRale wrote: »

That's terrible

Absolutely, f*cking Carlsberg???

yeppydeppy

A piglet isn't just for making up after a fight - it's for breakfast in about 10 months time.

TA - my feckin' face and scalp won't stop itching today cause of the feckin' psoriasis.

bonzodog2

Piglets are lovely, Lexie, but they grow, ya know. Bet you wouldn't want to make it into chops in a couple of years. What would you name yours anyway? I've kept pigs some years back, the first 2 were called Bacon and Buttie. Have you space to keep them?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

bonzodog2 wrote: »

Piglets are lovely, Lexie, but they grow, ya know. Bet you wouldn't want to make it into chops in a couple of years. What would you name yours anyway? I've kept pigs some years back, the first 2 were called Bacon and Buttie. Have you space to keep them?

Im going to name her Vivienne. I've had pet cows, so her size won't be an issue. I will keep her in the house until she gets too big then I will bring Her to live on my farm. Maybe then we can get her a boyfriend, so she won't be lonely.

eisenberg1

Lexie, George Clooney and his new missus are having a few rows (already) and one of the reasons is his minature pig, she is not fond of it. Maybe give him a call.....you never know, and it would shake your OH up a bit.

OldNotWIse

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Im going to name her Vivienne. I've had pet cows, so her size won't be an issue. I will keep her in the house until she gets too big then I will bring Her to live on my farm. Maybe then we can get her a boyfriend, so she won't be lonely.

Aw

OldNotWIse

eisenberg1 wrote: »

Lexie, George Clooney and his new missus are having a few rows (already) and one of the reasons is his minature pig, she is not fond of it. Maybe give him a call.....you never know, and it would shake your OH up a bit.

That's a disappointment. you wouldn't think it was miniature to look at him Then again, it's more important what you do with it, right?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BkgmkXpCYAAyaoF.jpg

Aww stopppit. Its face!

Boom_Bap

^ice cream flavoured bacon!

eisenberg1

OldNotWIse wrote: »

That's a disappointment. you wouldn't think it was miniature to look at him Then again, it's more important what you do with it, right?

Well, it just would not be fair on us mere mortals if he was that handsome AND had big one:eek:

bonzodog2

While I remember it, Gordon Ramsay had 2 pigs named Trinny and Susannah.

eisenberg1

bonzodog2 wrote: »

While I remember it, Gordon Ramsay had 2 pigs named Trinny and Susannah.

Yep, and he ate them, both.

selous

I've heard of the band aid baby, but band aid piglets?? that's a new one..

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Double parking on the main street. Gee it's raining: wouldn't do if you got wet!

saralou2011

Paper bags + Irish weather = a pile of mush and your shopping on the floor, had to carry the stuff home in my arms with the p1ssing rain, bloody wind blew my hood down couldn't put it back up again because my hands were full. I'm like a drowned rat :mad:

jimgoose

Boom_Bap wrote: »

^ice cream flavoured bacon!

A certain Mr. Heston Blumenthal offers Bacon-and-Egg flavour ice-cream at the Fat Duck restaurant in Berkshire.

Dog of Tears

Jaxen Curved Shaver wrote: »

Double parking on the main street. Gee it's raining: wouldn't do if you got wet!

Section 2, Paragraph 4 of the Rules of the Road state:

"Drivers may choose to abandon their car anywhere on the road to run into the local shop to buy a lotto quickpick as long as hazard lights are left on."

jimgoose

LexieOnRale wrote: »

My main life ambition is to own a piglet. I had asked my dad for about four years before he died but he was having none of it. Still, I'm persistent so I'm sure I'd have eventually wore him down.

So now I ask my oh, and he is even more stubborn than my dad. Every occasion that he has to buy presents for, I ask for a piglet, yet here I am, piglet free. So, I sometimes send him pictures of two piglets side by side and get him to pick out his one and name it. He always names his wilbert.

Anyway. The last few weeks we haven't been getting on. On Wednesday night I asked him to shuffle on for a while, so he went to stay with his parents. Today, texting he's being all like "Id do anything to make you happy". Anything? "Anything" he confirmed. You know what would really make me happy? A piglet.

The dope sends me a photo of a pig wearing wellies. A photo. No, we are beyond photos now. Only a real one will make me happy now. And even though he's trying to get back in my good books, he tells me it's the best he can do.

So. Now I'm annoyed at him for saying no again but also annoyed at him for him saying he just wants me to be happy but he's the only on standing in the way of me and a piglet

<Lexie and Future Mr. Lexie, both around 47, driving along in the family MPV. Two Lexettes and a rather large pig are strapped into the back seat...>

Future Mr. Lexie: I really think my mother should be in the back seat with the kids, and that pig in the boot!

Lexie: I thought she was, pet.

eisenberg1

Dog of Tears wrote: »

Section 2, Paragraph 4 of the Rules of the Road state:

"Drivers may choose to abandon their car anywhere on the road to run into the local shop to buy a lotto quickpick as long as hazard lights are left on."

I am coming in to work the other morning and I spot a guy getting out of his car which was in a disabled only spot. I mentioned this to him, and he replied with "oh, I didn't realise" (He knew well where he was parked) so I say "ah anyone can make a mistake"...and stand there, he looks up and down and says "Sure I will only be a while.."

Wanker!!

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

One of the ladies I work with is much older than me, and the rest of the staff. She talks down to me ALL THE TIME. She undermines me at every opportunity, and cuts across me when I speak to other girls. She acts like she's the manager here, due to her being older I presume. Anyway, she turns around to me right there and says to me "did you bring your lunch with you?" I've worked here two months and I've never brought my lunch in once. I say no. And she tuts at me. Full on, proper "tsks" me. I ask her if she's okay and she basically told me because we're one girl down (rang in sick) that she's not sure if it's a good idea for me to leave the salon for an hour so perhaps I could grab something and bring it back here? What the actual ****?? For the first time in two months I'll be practicing my serious voice, and giving her a reality check later this evening.

eisenberg1

LexieOnRale wrote: »

One of the ladies I work with is much older than me, and the rest of the staff. She talks down to me ALL THE TIME. She undermines me at every opportunity, and cuts across me when I speak to other girls. She acts like she's the manager here, due to her being older I presume. Anyway, she turns around to me right there and says to me "did you bring your lunch with you?" I've worked here two months and I've never brought my lunch in once. I say no. And she tuts at me. Full on, proper "tsks" me. I ask her if she's okay and she basically told me because we're one girl down (rang in sick) that she's not sure if it's a good idea for me to leave the salon for an hour so perhaps I could grab something and bring it back here? What the actual ****?? For the first time in two months I'll be practicing my serious voice, and giving her a reality check later this evening.

FFS!! Does she not realise you have another four seasons of Breaking Bad to watch:D