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Can you change your personality?

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    #32
    Sclosages
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 489 ✭✭Sclosages


    Don Kedick wrote: »
    Hey aren't you the girl that was going to be homeless? What happened? Are you safe?

    Yup. Found a place to stay - for two weeks anyway. Did I say I was disciplined, dedicated and diligent? No. I said I was scatty, catty and batty.


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    #33
    The_Valeyard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,452 ✭✭✭✭The_Valeyard


    Suppose I better ask my other personalities if there is room for one more, or are we allowed change persona


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    #34
    Don Kedick
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 778 ✭✭✭Don Kedick


    Sclosages wrote: »
    Yup. Found a place to stay - for two weeks anyway. Did I say I was disciplined, dedicated and diligent? No. I said I was scatty, catty and batty.

    :D Onwards and upwards from here!


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    #35
    Sclosages
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 489 ✭✭Sclosages


    Don Kedick wrote: »
    :D Onwards and upwards from here!
    Perhaps I should re-try the change to dedicated, diligent and eh.............. Nope. Not happening.
    Lazy individual that I am.

    NO.
    I am what I am so I need to make the most of that.


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    #36
    Don Kedick
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 778 ✭✭✭Don Kedick


    Sclosages wrote: »
    Perhaps I should re-try the change to dedicated, diligent and eh.............. Nope. Not happening.
    Lazy individual that I am.

    NO.
    I am what I am so I need to make the most of that.

    Trying to be someone else is just lying to yourself. You'll get on great with the talents that you have.


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    #37
    ScumLord
    Registered Users Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    Sclosages wrote: »
    Disagree. Forcing yourself to change is a recipe for an ulcer. Instead, make the most of your dominant traits.
    For e.g., I'm scatty, catty, batty and plain mad. For that reason, I'm a brilliant people person. I tried to become focused, driven, disciplined etc. It didn't work. There is a place for everyone.
    There is, and like you say being weak in one area means you've focused on being better in another. But you can force yourself to change, they do it to soldiers every day. They come in weak westerners and come out waking up at the crack of dawn whether they like it or not.


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    #38
    zanador
    Registered Users Posts: 505 ✭✭✭zanador


    ScumLord wrote: »
    There is, and like you say being weak in one area means you've focused on being better in another. But you can force yourself to change, they do it to soldiers every day. They come in weak westerners and come out waking up at the crack of dawn whether they like it or not.

    Hmm, one could argue that only a certain personality type becomes a successful soldier though. So only the ones who can change in that way do change?

    I do think we change in adversity - things like empathy, or bitterness, grow and recede. But I will be an empathetic procrastinator, or a bitter one


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    #39
    Littlekittylou
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,357 ✭✭✭Littlekittylou


    Meathlass wrote: »
    Is there an age at which you can't really change fundamental aspects of your personality?

    I'm a procrastinator, always have been. Even when I know it's going to leave me incredibly stressed out I always leave everything until the last minute - work, college assignments, packing for weekends away, getting ready for nights out. Why can't I learn from past experiences? Is it as simple as being a bit lazy?

    A friend of mine is a pessimist; she's been like this as long as I can remember.

    I think while we might be able to improve aspects of our psychology (e.g. become less impatient) we can't really change our fundamental personality traits. Or maybe a leopard can change its spots?


    I think you can 'heal' bits of you and improve.

    You can't make yourself like the taste of bananas though if you don't like them. There are some bits of yourself you can't change.

    There are some career types I would be totally unsuited to. I have a certain way of thinking.


    I think also there are some things I know I could not do. As in I dunno the way I like to treat people and the way I need to be treated.

    I do you think can change certain bits. But not others. I would be wary of anyone changing themselves especially for anyone else. Your uniqueness is important to the world. And yes that is saccharine sweet and I know I am that way and I can't change that. :-P

    I do think you can be the BEST of you though.

    I know people who are one way in their jobs and another at home etc . And they are not changing but we all have different aspects.


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    #40
    ScumLord
    Registered Users Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    zanador wrote: »
    Hmm, one could argue that only a certain personality type becomes a successful soldier though. So only the ones who can change in that way do change?
    Littlekittylou wrote: »
    You can't make yourself like the taste of bananas though if you don't like them. There are some bits of yourself you can't change.

    I think people would be pretty surprised by what they could do if they had to. If you went without food for any amount of time you would devour a banana and love it. I've found that many of the foods I supposedly hated as a child I can eat and enjoy now. I just said no to foods because I could be choosy.

    We're very mollycoddled in the west, we think we can't do things but as people in the past have proved if your world changes you change with it. What seems alien and beyond you becomes mundane.

    In the west we have so much choice the only reason for us to push ourselves is to achieve something, often something unnecessary like a 5k run, just as something to accomplish. Its hard to be motivated in the west because you often don't have to be that motivated to survive.


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    #41
    Littlekittylou
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,357 ✭✭✭Littlekittylou


    ScumLord wrote: »
    I think people would be pretty surprised by what they could do if they had to. If you went without food for any amount of time you would devour a banana and love it. I've found that many of the foods I supposedly hated as a child I can eat and enjoy now. I just said no to foods because I could be choosy.

    We're very mollycoddled in the west, we think we can't do things but as people in the past have proved if your world changes you change with it. What seems alien and beyond you becomes mundane.

    In the west we have so much choice the only reason for us to push ourselves is to achieve something, often something unnecessary like a 5k run, just as something to accomplish. Its hard to be motivated in the west because you often don't have to be that motivated to survive.
    My Dad did not have a choice of foods growing up. He had to eat often what he hated. He ate it because he was hungry he still hates it though.

    You can make yourself do what you hate and be gracious and grateful. But it might not change your preferences.

    The point is you do it if you have to. But would you choose to? Personality is partially expressed when you have freedom to choose. Not just when you are nailed to the wall.

    And there are just some things I couldn't do when nailed to the wall.


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    #42
    Sclosages
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 489 ✭✭Sclosages


    food preferences and personality is like eh.......... bananas and apples. something like that.
    we're not comparing like with like.


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    #43
    Littlekittylou
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,357 ✭✭✭Littlekittylou


    Sclosages wrote: »
    food preferences and personality is like eh.......... bananas and apples. something like that.
    we're not comparing like with like.
    It's an analogy not a comparison :o


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    #44
    Venus In Furs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,028 ✭✭✭Venus In Furs


    You can train yourself out of certain thought patterns/behaviours. It's difficult but it's doable. Probably not something people will only really make an effort to do if their life is in dire need of change.


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    #45
    Littlekittylou
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,357 ✭✭✭Littlekittylou


    Sclosages wrote: »
    Yup. Found a place to stay - for two weeks anyway. Did I say I was disciplined, dedicated and diligent? No. I said I was scatty, catty and batty.
    Well delighted you are safe and sound! Erm maybe try and be less catty though.


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    #46
    Littlekittylou
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,357 ✭✭✭Littlekittylou


    Venus In Furs wrote: »
    You can train yourself out of certain thought patterns/behaviours. It's difficult but it's doable. Probably not something people will only really make an effort to do if their life is in dire need of change.
    You can particularly bad ones as you have something to run away from, the consequence.

    I am more on the scatty side of the spectrum, but I am warm hearted with a sense of values and depth. I can see beauty in very simple things. I can do discipline and focus. But to a point. Both aspects make me a creative empathetic person. But I can be a little introverted so my battiness I think is safer.

    My down side is it took me a long time to be able to leave people alone. I had to learn that some people don't want my help some don't need it and I don't know everything.
    Oh and more recently that I should also help myself.

    Battiness has it's advantages. It helps you not to dwell on damaging things.
    I think you can harness the personality you DO have to do great things.

    But I am more on the emotive sensitive side of the spectrum. I am naturally affectionate. I find hostile environments difficult.


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