Letting Agent using threats about partner joining me in my apartment?

The_Morrigan

Lemming wrote: »

Eh ... no. It does not look like a quid pro quo situation. Now what was it you said about cake and eating it? the letting agent is behaving like she wants to
have the cake all to herself ... She is using threats & blackmail when the OP is attempting to arrange times that suit both parties.

Edit: OP, as others have suggested, if you can arrange temporary accommodation elsewhere for your g/f then do so and pull the rug from under this slime-ball agent. And then report her to the regulator anyway.

Please don't use terms like that here. There is no need for name calling

El_Duderino 09

Lemming wrote: »

Eh ... no. It does not look like a quid pro quo situation. Now what was it you said about cake and eating it? the letting agent is behaving like she wants to
have the cake all to herself ... She is using threats & blackmail when the OP is attempting to arrange times that suit both parties.

Edit: OP, as others have suggested, if you can arrange temporary accommodation elsewhere for your g/f then do so and pull the rug from under this slime-ball agent. And then report her to the regulator anyway.

Yeah the OP wants to break the lease agreement and move in his partner AND claim the moral high ground as if he has never broken the lease.

To further torture the cake analogy the ea could demand the partner leave and demand viewings. That would be wanting the whole cake. Instead the ea is sharing the cake by allowing the partner to stay and in return is demanding greater access to viewings.

Strangely enough we are in agreement that the op could gain the high ground by moving his partner out immediately and refusing visits unless they are in the lease.

OP which is better for you:
1 move your partner out immediately and stop viewings, have the ea give a fair reference saying you paid your rent, and broke the lease agreement by moving in your partner.
Or
2 have your partner stay and allow viewings when you're not there?

In a sense you have chosen this path by breaking the lease. You also have control over which option to take now and you seem more interested in whinging about it rather than being grateful that you got away with breaking the lease for as long as you did

Lemming

Do you think the agent is behaving perfectly acceptable? Do you think that intimidation & blackmail are perfectly acceptable behaviour or ways to arrange viewings?

Either the OP has broken the lease and the agent carries through with due process, or the the OP moving the g/f isn't *really* such a big deal to the agent as the agent doesn't seem interested in due process but leverage to get something else.

Arbiter of Good Taste

Lemming wrote: »

Do you think the agent is behaving perfectly acceptable? Do you think that intimidation & blackmail are perfectly acceptable behaviour or ways to arrange viewings?

Either the OP has broken the lease and the agent carries through with due process, or the the OP moving the g/f isn't *really* such a big deal as the agent doesn't seem interested in due process but leverage to get something else.

No, intimidation and blackmail are not acceptable, but since the OP doesnt seem to see what he did wrong in the first place, I might want to take his version with a small pinch of salt. The previous poster summarised it perfectly. OP can either kick the girlfriend out and tell the EA to go sing for their viewings, or he can let the girlfriend stay and try and seek a compromise.

El_Duderino 09

Yeah I meant to say that I don't like the way the ea is going about it.

I suppose the point I'm stuck on is that the op is all about his rights and pretty blasé about his responsibilities. He should be allowed to move anyone he wants in (as long as they depend on him in some way he will define them as a dependent) even though it has been pointed out to him that is not the meaning of dependent . But the ea must stick rigidly to the rules.

He hasn't said exactly what the threats are but I suspect the threat is to implement the rules by evicting the partner immediately.

Instead the ea is offering an alternative solution where the partner can stay and the op allows viewings.

I think the op is oblivious to the fact that he broke the agreement and the ea is taking advantage by allowing him to continue to break the agreement in exchange for the viewings.

DeathWolf

First of all, the agent is using disgusting techniques, mostly hidden threats at first, and then pure and simple blackmail.
It's not like they told me "here's the deal, you do x, and we allow y". They told me "you do x, no talking, no nothing for you, not a negotiation". That's called terrorism.

As I said, if I were trying to be an ass, I would just never be able to do visits.
I am willing to *come* from my worktime to do visits. I am willing to do visits *any* time where I am there(about 60% of the time since I have often businesstrips). That is quite fair.

Yes, there is a possible issue with the partner, but if the landlord is unhappy about this, I will be respecting their choice.
This is not about "doing whatever I want", it's about having a fair peaceful talk and negotiation.

I refuse to "unconditionally bow and 'know my place'". An agent is an agent, it's not my master, it's not my boss, it's not the garda.
I have a business deal with them, not an enslavement deal.

anonyanony

DeathWolf wrote: »

First of all, the agent is using disgusting techniques, mostly hidden threats at first, and then pure and simple blackmail.
It's not like they told me "here's the deal, you do x, and we allow y". They told me "you do x, no talking, no nothing for you, not a negotiation". That's called terrorism.

As I said, if I were trying to be an ass, I would just never be able to do visits.
I am willing to *come* from my worktime to do visits. I am willing to do visits *any* time where I am there(about 60% of the time since I have often businesstrips). That is quite fair.

Yes, there is a possible issue with the partner, but if the landlord is unhappy about this, I will be respecting their choice.
This is not about "doing whatever I want", it's about having a fair peaceful talk and negotiation.

I refuse to "unconditionally bow and 'know my place'". An agent is an agent, it's not my master, it's not my boss, it's not the garda.
I have a business deal with them, not an enslavement deal.

Most of us are saying you hold the power you dictate what's going to happen all they can do is follow the lease, you need to put your foot down and set the terms. Really the only thing they can do is ask the girl to leave.

Ring them tomorrow and say look this is how it's going to be.

El_Duderino 09

DeathWolf wrote: »

First of all, the agent is using disgusting techniques, mostly hdden threats at first, and pure andesimple le blackmail.
It's not like they told me "here's the deal, you do x, and we allow y". They told me "you do x, no talking, no nothing for you, not a negotiation". That's called terrorism.

Yes, there is a possible issue with the partner, but if the landlord is unhappy about this, I will be respecting their choice.
This is not about "doing whatever I want", it's about having a fair peaceful talk and negotiation.

I refuse to "unconditionally bow and 'know my place'". An agent is an agent, it's not my master, it's not my boss, it's not the garda.
I have a business deal with them, not an enslavement deal.

From the first paragraph I assume they have evicted your partner. They are demanding visits AND have evicted your partner? That's what you're saying that you are getting nothing from the arrangement.

The second paragraph is laughable. The landlord's wishes are expressed in the lease. You already broke the lease by moving your partn so saying you want to respect the ll wishes by ignoring the lease is a strange position.

You haven't mentioned what these threats are that amount to terrorism.

Nekarsulm

Please tell us that you can back up your claims against the Agent , perhaps using the "record" function on your phone?

makeorbrake

There are two possible outcomes op, win/win or lose lose - and you are in control of how that goes.


Win/win - you negotiate with the other party - and come to an agreement. Negotiate means you both have to compromise. i.e. you facilitate visits and they turn a blind eye to you breaking the lease (you have not as yet acknowledged that you have blatantly broken the lease agreement by the way).


Lose/Lose: Your g/f is forced out, you facilitate no visits and you have the option of reporting the agent.

You seem to feel aggrieved that they are using the fact that you have broken the lease against you. There's a very simple answer to that. Don't break the lease that you consciously signed off on! If you wish to stick to your current position - and not allow visits - then kick your g/f out right now and therein, comply with the lease that you signed.

That's it - we're all done here. Let us know how it pans out and what you decide upon.

The_Morrigan

DeathWolf you've stepped over the line here now comparing the letting agent and their actions with terrorism.

You've been given advice on how to proceed and all I'm seeing is you digging your heels in, sticking your fingers in your ears and making wild statements about another person.

I think we're done here.


/Mod