Your kid is not autistic, Your kid is an asshole, It's your fault.

Pacing Mule

I've been given a link to a facebook group that has caused great offence and distress to a good friend of mine. Quite frankly I'm offended and disgusted myself.

The group is for like minded people who are child free by choice. I have absolutely no problem with that choice or being a member of such a group. What has me disgusted is the profile picture which contains the text:

Your kid is not autistic
Your kid is an asshole
It's your fault

Trolling or just an incredibly warped person ?

My friend reported the group to facebook but got a generic message back saying the group was not closed. She tried to explain to the admin of the page how hurtful it was to a parent of an autistic child but was blocked from the group.

The group can be found here.

I've just reported it myself and if anyone else wants to I'd be very grateful. But in the mean time I'd be interested to hear the thoughts here. Is that free speech ? Should it be acceptable ?

Edit: There is an explanation on their page posted below by amdublin.

Since many of you just don't get it, here is a simple explanation of the cover photo:

We are not attacking autistic kids.

We are attacking parents who do one or both of the following:

(1) Use their child's autism, or any other disorder, such as ADD 10 years ago, as an excuse to allow the child to behave poorly.

(2) Invent a diagnosis of autism, or any other disorder, such as ADD 10 years ago, because they can't be bothered to put in the time and effort required to raise their child properly.

This group has many autistic members, and they agree with the message expressed here. When parents use autism, either real or self-diagnosed, in place of good parenting, all autistic people, both children and adults, suffer. Nobody takes them seriously when everyone is supposedly autistic, as they are assumed guilty by association.

It is unfortunate that many of you have chosen to jump to conclusions. Surely you teach your children to get the facts before making a decision. This is something that should carry over to adulthood too.

For me context is key here.

The group is set up and labelled for those who are childless by choice. Why use that image ?

Crusading against a minority subset of parents of kids with autism doesn't add up coming from such a group. What makes more sense is that this label / image was put there as a slag / attack on parents in general. That post was only put up after attention started to be drawn to it and is pure bull****.

My view is that they are attacking every single parent of an autistic child with such a general statement. There are people who will play that card of course but even if you are genuine how can you justify the distress caused to genuine cases who read that ?

The last line in particular is misleading because anyone who questions the group, tries to debate or speak to the admin is then removed from the group and comments deleted.

Further edit / update. The image below is apparently taken from the group - you can only see it once you are a member.

http://omg.wthax.org/7ghKD6.png

If this is true (and I personally believe it is) it makes an absolute mockery of the explanation posted on their site.

amdublin

This is posted as their explanation:

Since many of you just don't get it, here is a simple explanation of the cover photo:

We are not attacking autistic kids.

We are attacking parents who do one or both of the following:

(1) Use their child's autism, or any other disorder, such as ADD 10 years ago, as an excuse to allow the child to behave poorly.

(2) Invent a diagnosis of autism, or any other disorder, such as ADD 10 years ago, because they can't be bothered to put in the time and effort required to raise their child properly.

This group has many autistic members, and they agree with the message expressed here. When parents use autism, either real or self-diagnosed, in place of good parenting, all autistic people, both children and adults, suffer. Nobody takes them seriously when everyone is supposedly autistic, as they are assumed guilty by association.

It is unfortunate that many of you have chosen to jump to conclusions. Surely you teach your children to get the facts before making a decision. This is something that should carry over to adulthood too.

allym

It's a disgusting, and totally inaccurate statement.

But unfortunately the world is full of assholes, who think and say ridiculous things.

I can see why someone would find it offensive, but it's not worth the energy getting worked up over it. Being an asshole catches up to people in the end.


Edit: just saw their "explanation". The ADD thing I kind of understand, as it's a term people often throw out without understanding what it actually means. I highly doubt many people self-diagnose their children with autism.

anncoates

They seem blissfully aware of the irony. I assume they've all disowned their own parents.

Hannibal Smith

(1) Use their child's autism, or any other disorder, such as ADD 10 years ago, as an excuse to allow the child to behave poorly.

^^^^ I saw that bit and alarm bells went off. I don't think it's a troll because they seem to genuinely believe their own words I think they justbhave absolutely no idea about autism.

Bipolar Joe

allym wrote: »

Edit: just saw their "explanation". The ADD thing I kind of understand, as it's a term people often throw out without understanding what it actually means. I highly doubt many people self-diagnose their children with autism.

Unfortunately, some people do. It sucks, but no one wants to admit they're a shitty parent.

wendell borton

If it offends you just don't look at it, either its just trollin' or an echo chamber for sad individuals.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

As someone who has experience of autism I was initially disgusted by this thread title and the OP. But on reading the Facebook comment I have to concede there is some truth in what they say. I have seen too many parents who do use their child's autism, ADHD etc as an excuse. I have also seen parents excusing bad behaviour as being due to autism or ADHD without any proper diagnosis or psychological assessment.

eviltwin

You would think a group dedicated to being childfree would talk about something other than children. I have two autistic kids, I do understand the sentiment but it's worded badly.

Donkey Oaty

So they are defending autistic kids and their parents from being tarred with the same brush as badly-behaved kids incorrectly labelled as autistic, and also kids who happen to be autistic but are badly-behaved for non-autistic/bad parenting reasons?

I don't get it.

If you don't want kids in your life - a reasonable and valid choice - why start any conversations with a statement about kids?

You'd imagine that children would be the last thing that a forum of people who don't want children would talk about.

ETA: Eviltwin said it first and said it better.

One eyed Jack

It's bizarrely worded on purpose to grab the reader's attention and evoke a reaction, just like the thread title. Sensationalism works. Simple as that really.

Pacing Mule

amdublin wrote: »

This is posted as their explanation:

Since many of you just don't get it, here is a simple explanation of the cover photo:

We are not attacking autistic kids.

We are attacking parents who do one or both of the following:

(1) Use their child's autism, or any other disorder, such as ADD 10 years ago, as an excuse to allow the child to behave poorly.

(2) Invent a diagnosis of autism, or any other disorder, such as ADD 10 years ago, because they can't be bothered to put in the time and effort required to raise their child properly.

This group has many autistic members, and they agree with the message expressed here. When parents use autism, either real or self-diagnosed, in place of good parenting, all autistic people, both children and adults, suffer. Nobody takes them seriously when everyone is supposedly autistic, as they are assumed guilty by association.

It is unfortunate that many of you have chosen to jump to conclusions. Surely you teach your children to get the facts before making a decision. This is something that should carry over to adulthood too.

For me context is key here.

The group is set up and labelled for those who are childless by choice.

Crusading against a minority subset of parents of kids with autism doesn't add up coming from such a group. What makes more sense is that this label / image was put there as a slag / attack on parents in general. That post was only put up after attention started to be drawn to it and is pure bull****.

One eyed Jack

Candie wrote: »

I don't get it.

If you don't want kids in your life - a reasonable and valid choice - why start any conversations with a statement about kids?

You'd imagine that children would be the last thing that a forum of people who don't want children would talk about.

ETA: Eviltwin said it first and said it better.

It's probably one of those groups for people that love giving out about other people's children in an effort to validate their choice not to have children.

I know many people who have chosen not to have children for their own reasons and they don't go on like that. It's nothing short of pathetic really and truly best ignored. People like that don't see anything wrong with their behaviour (ironic really given their obsession with the behaviour of other people).

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Candie wrote: »

I don't get it.

If you don't want kids in your life - a reasonable and valid choice - why start any conversations with a statement about kids?

You'd imagine that children would be the last thing that a forum of people who don't want children would talk about.

ETA: Eviltwin said it first and said it better.

I think it about their having to put up with bad behaviour. We have all experienced badly behaved children in supermarkets, at functions or in restaurants that the parents have ignored and excused the behaviour by claiming ADHD or autism.

Chocolate Lions

So it's crass. It's not attacking kids that have autism and it grabs your attention. The whole world has descended to click baiting bull**** so picking on this isn't worth it. If your sensibilities are offended then just get off the internet now, that or maintain some objectivity and don't twist your knickers.

eviltwin

Mina Full Robbery wrote: »

I think it about their having to put up with bad behaviour. We have all experienced badly behaved children in supermarkets, at functions or in restaurants that the parents have ignored and excused the behaviour by claiming ADHD or autism.

Autistic kids having a meltdown are not behaving badly. They aren't bold children, they are children who have issues processing certain situations. I'm sure my son having a moment isn't pleasant for anyone but its not exactly easy for me or him either.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

eviltwin wrote: »

Autistic kids having a meltdown are not behaving badly. They aren't bold children, they are children who have issues processing certain situations. I'm sure my son having a moment isn't pleasant for anyone but its not exactly easy for me or him either.

No, you have missed my first point and the point, I think, of the piece. It is not a problem with autism. It's parents blaming it on autism when it is not the reason. Please read my first post. I know all about autism, believe me!

BetterThanThou

I am saying this as someone who has been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome(though, I've pretty much "grown out" of it), and someone who knows many autistic kids, both relatives and non-relatives. And I can see why some people think this, many parents do give their autistic children whatever they want, and while this can at first be due to the children having difficulty due to autism, they can very quickly learn how to work that to their advantage, I did when I was younger. Personally, I only started making progress when I was around 12, when my mother stopped giving into my "demands", and now 6 years later, at 18, I'm a totally different person, you wouldn't even believe I was the same person if you hadn't seen me in 6 years. I believe parents of autistic children simply give them too much in an effort to keep them happy, which I cannot blame them for, but, I believe it does lead to further development issues, they need to have their own free will in order to develop as human beings.

anncoates

Candie wrote: »

I don't get it.

If you don't want kids in your life - a reasonable and valid choice - why start any conversations with a statement about kids?

You'd imagine that children would be the last thing that a forum of people who don't want children would talk about.

ETA: Eviltwin said it first and said it better.

For some reason, people love discussing at length what they don't care about, want or even believe in. See atheism.

anncoates

Mina Full Robbery wrote: »

As someone who has experience of autism I was initially disgusted by this thread title and the OP. But on reading the Facebook comment I have to concede there is some truth in what they say. I have seen too many parents who do use their child's autism, ADHD etc as an excuse. I have also seen parents excusing bad behaviour as being due to autism or ADHD without any proper diagnosis or psychological assessment.

I know somebody with a (properly diagnosed) child on the spectrum. Even to me, it's very obvious he's autistic but I think he's also not disciplined or provided with boundaries which makes him a lot worse IMO.

Molzer2

Mina Full Robbery wrote: »

I think it about their having to put up with bad behaviour. We have all experienced badly behaved children in supermarkets, at functions or in restaurants that the parents have ignored and excused the behaviour by claiming ADHD or autism.

I've experienced the behaviour you describe but not the parents claiming it was autism or ADHD. Have you? Seriously? I have a boy with autism .....I know about it too!

zagmund

I've had to put up with badly behaved adults in all sorts of social situations. I wonder will this group be able to help with that, or is it just children they are concerned with?

z

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Molzer2 wrote: »

I've experienced the behaviour you describe but not the parents claiming it was autism or ADHD. Have you? Seriously? I have a boy with autism .....I know about it too!

Yes, I have. That is why I mentioned it!

One eyed Jack

anncoates wrote: »

For some reason, people love discussing at length what they don't care about, want or even believe in. See atheism.

I'd say myself it's more likely only some people, and the subject could be anything at all in fairness.

There's been a noticeable increase though in people who quite openly express their hatred towards parents and children in passive aggressive tones.

I get the idea behind this groups 'statememt' alright in that I have encountered parents who have said to me that their child has 'undiagnosed' ADD, etc. In other words they've basically hit up Google and 'diagnosed' their child themselves. I've also encountered people who think they can 'diagnose' other people's children with ADD, etc, again they inform themselves via Google.

It's certainly become a common phenomenon for people to ascribe all sorts of developmental and cognitive disorders to children without having any prior qualifications or knowledge that would enable them to come to such conclusions.

The_Valeyard

Internet group offends people, shocker.

OP internet is full of d*cks (and not just omegle) Best to ignore and move on.

Molzer2

Mina Full Robbery wrote: »

Yes, I have. That is why I mentioned it!

Really! Any time I experienced this the parents were oblivious and couldn't be arsed doing anything about it never mind explain or excuse it.

weemcd

I'm in two minds about this. One one hand I think it's very 21st century ( and very American for that matter) to pull a disorder out of your ass in order to justify a difficult child/poor behaviour/bad parenting. I'd love to know where all these disorders were 25 years ago.

"Lack of diagnosis!" I hear you cry. And that is probably valid. BUT is it just me or does everyone (not just kids) have something 'wrong' with them these days? It seems people aren't content to be flawed human beings like the rest of us are any more, they need to have a reason to take the flack (for being a cùnt) and justify their existence, without the self reflection one needs to improve one's self.

It's a hangover from the molly coddling culture that has been spreading for quite a few years, where people are quite simply, too entitled, with an inability to admit they are wrong. Or their children are in the wrong. It couldn't possibly be a flaw or poor behaviour, little Johnny has condition X, it's not his fault... let alone mine!

He'll hath no fury like a mother scorned.

On the other hand, I can't begin to fathom the living nightmare that it is to live with autism, either as a direct sufferer or a parent. Their lives must be living hell. And I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

This group may have a point. However they are going far and beyond reason to make it.

Parents are having children later and later in life, and couples, particularly the men have a higher chance of a child being born with a condition the older they get. Their bodies simply do not have the vital materials they had when they were 21. That's nature.

TLDR? Many people suffer these afflictions. How many? Probably less than you are being made to believe.

FullblownRose

Autism isn't used an excuse, what nonsense. That demonstrates limited understanding of autism. I see the commenter claims to be autistic themself?
Behavioural issues are part and parcel of the disorder.
Yes, people do d.i.y diagnoses of all kinds of things.
I don't see the point of the group, best to ignore it.

Molzer2

Interesting point weemcd and I agree with a lot of it but I diagnosis does not come easily and believe you me autism is real.

One eyed Jack

Molzer2 wrote: »

Interesting point weemcd and I agree with a lot of it but I diagnosis does not come easily and believe you me autism is real.

That's the point this group is trying to make, albeit in a rather misguided fashion which causes their point to be misconstrued and/or missed completely.

Their message is aimed at parents who excuse their children's inappropriate social behavior by claiming their children have undiagnosed cognitive or behavioural disorders.

hatrickpatrick

Find the page appalling, won't be reporting it as I believe in free speech.

robbiezero

Why would anyone get "great offence and distress" from some stupid Facebook group that could have been set up by a 15 year old?
People shouldn't get bothered about what anonymous people on the internet think about anything.
Be different if those were the views of a politician or high profile person of influence.

eviltwin

One eyed Jack wrote: »

That's the point this group is trying to make, albeit in a rather misguided fashion which causes their point to be misconstrued and/or missed completely.

Their message is aimed at parents who excuse their children's inappropriate social behavior by claiming their children have undiagnosed cognitive or behavioural disorders.

Its a child free group so presumably the only people in it are those without children. No one with a kid is going to see that so what purpose does it serve only to put parents down? They should probably talk about all the amazing things they can do with their childfree lives rather than judge situations and people they know little about.

smash

I have a friend who says her kid has ADHD but he's never been diagnosed. I don't think he does because he can seem to concentrate on being an asshole more than most.

One eyed Jack

eviltwin wrote: »

Its a child free group so presumably the only people in it are those without children. No one with a kid is going to see that so what purpose does it serve only to put parents down? They should probably talk about all the amazing things they can do with their childfree lives rather than judge situations and people they know little about.

It's on Facebook so I think it's inevitable that people with children are going to see it (curiosity gets the better of them), but you're right, that's exactly the purpose it serves - to judge other people who have chosen to have children and to put them down in order to validate their choice of child-free 'superiority' so to speak.

They strike me as a group of very bitter individuals who really don't have much else going on in their own lives that they derive pleasure from a common interest in judgment of other people.

TireeTerror

Thanks for highlighting the group. I joined to see what its all about. Regardless of what I find, I wont be reporting it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, I do not like censorship. I find the idea of reporting it more offensive that whatever may be contained withing the page.

dellas1979

Hhmm this one is a toughie alright to get the head around.

People who have children have an apathy towards people who have kids with autism/ADHD and other learning/behavioural issues.

People who dont have children also do have an apathy towards people who have kids diagnosed with autism/ADHD and other learning/behavioural issues.

I think (but as pointed out its phrased to get a reaction) childless people may see it from an outside situation.

If little Johnny or Mary have been diagnosed with any developmental problems, childless people do understand.

If little Johnny or Mary havent been diagnosed, and are acting the brat, sometimes it does happen that poor/lack of parenting skills will come further down a list of "whats wrong". People do prefer to have a "reason" for things. Its our nature. For some, it is a "diagnosis". Rather than being responsible, and saying "cut it out, kid".

I remember once, a former colleague of mine told me a friend of hers called to her house. They sat at a (glass) table with a 3 year old. The child was being fed sitting on the womans lap. The child had a (metal) spoon. My colleague said, the child hit the table many times and quite hard. Instead of telling the child to stop, the parent just continued talking. My colleague had to ask her friend to make the child stop (take the spoon away/whatever) for fear they'd crack the table. The parent said she thought the child might have some attention difficulty issues. Once the spoon was taken off the child, the most bizarre thing happened-they stopped.

So, effectively, the parent is allocating the child an issue. Creating a diagnosis as a reason to the issue (like as said above, everyone wants a reason for everything). The apathy is renegged because its realised that rather than the child having a genuine issue, its moreso parenting issues that are at play.

Laura Palmer

I know they say it's directed at parents who use their child's autism as an excuse when they have, for example, tantrums. But sometimes it's not an excuse, it's an explanation. Sometimes some children who have autism DO act out - e.g. when they are out of their comfort zone/routine.

GreeBo

Laura Palmer wrote: »

I know they say it's directed at parents who use their child's autism as an excuse when they have, for example, tantrums. But sometimes it's not an excuse, it's an explanation. Sometimes some children who have autism DO act out - e.g. when they are out of their comfort zone/routine.

Yes sometimes it is...when those kids actually are autistic, but often the kids are just being dicks due to lack of boundaries and parental care. Thats the point of the site.
But if they just said that no one would notice.

Those on here shouting "Autism is real" "you dont know what its like" are completely missing the point of the page and jumping to an (understandably) emotive reaction.

Consider it this way, some people are fat because they have specific, diagnosed illnesses that cause them to retain weight, some people are just fat asses that eat too much and dont exercise enough.
Its pretty offensive for someone who actually has something wrong with them to be confronted by a lard ass who has self diagnosed themselves with "a glandular problem" as they shovel in the Pringles.

Its the same thing.

Laura Palmer

GreeBo wrote: »

Yes sometimes it is...when those kids actually are autistic, but often the kids are just being dicks due to lack of boundaries and parental care. Thats the point of the site.
But if they just said that no one would notice.

Those on here shouting "Autism is real" "you dont know what its like" are completely missing the point of the page and jumping to an (understandably) emotive reaction.

Consider it this way, some people are fat because they have specific, diagnosed illnesses that cause them to retain weight, some people are just fat asses that eat too much and dont exercise enough.
Its pretty offensive for someone who actually has something wrong with them to be confronted by a lard ass who has self diagnosed themselves with "a glandular problem" as they shovel in the Pringles.

Its the same thing.

But I thought people were saying it in relation to children who actually ARE autistic but their autism is being used as an excuse too much, as opposed to their parents deciding by themselves that their children are autistic (something which I doubt occurs; maybe it occurs a small bit with regards to ADHD).

GreeBo

Laura Palmer wrote: »

But I thought people were saying it in relation to children who actually ARE autistic but their autism is being used as an excuse too much, as opposed to their parents deciding by themselves that their children are autistic (something which I doubt occurs; maybe it occurs a small bit with regards to ADHD).

Indeed it does occur Im afraid.
But equally just because a child is autistic doesn't mean that you just abandon them to their own devices and blame everything on their autism.

In the same way that someone with a real glandular problem causing them to gain weight loses my sympathy if they are constantly eating junk.
(Obviously choosing to eat junk doesnt fully equate with an autistic child acting out as a result of being autistic, but I think the point stands)

mountsky

Whoever is indeed responsible for putting the page up is the one that's an Assxxxxe,ignorance is bliss and as for karma..

Laura Palmer

GreeBo wrote: »

just because a child is autistic doesn't mean that you just abandon them to their own devices and blame everything on their autism.

Definitely agree there, but from my limited knowledge (via a friend whose son is autistic) there are times this is really hard. For example, he had a tantrum in a shopping-centre. Something small (as can be the case) set him off, and he was really really upset, and she was trying to calm him down, trying to remove him (non forcefully) from the building, but this was just upsetting him more.
And she felt like people were looking on, thinking she was an atrocious mother. It's very very unenviable.

GreeBo

mountsky wrote: »

Whoever is indeed responsible for putting the page up is the one that's an Assxxxxe,ignorance is bliss and as for karma..

I think its incredible how people can react to something while they clearly are not taking the time to read it properly or attempt to comprehend the point its making.

Marge: You know Homer, when I found out about this I went through a wide range of emotions: first I was nervous, then anxious, then wary, then apprehensive, then kinda sleepy, then worried, and then concerned. But now I realize that being a spaceman is something you have to do.
Homer: Who's doing what now?

One eyed Jack

What they're talking about basically is something along the lines of factitious disorders (by proxy) -

A factitious disorder is a condition in which a person acts as if they have an illness by deliberately producing, feigning, or exaggerating symptoms. Factitious disorder by proxy is a condition in which a person deliberately produces, feigns, or exaggerates symptoms in a person in their care.

Münchausen syndrome, a severe form of factitious disorder, was the first kind identified, and was for a period the umbrella term for all such disorders.

People with this condition may produce symptoms by contaminating urine samples, taking hallucinogens, injecting themselves with bacteria to produce infections, and other similar behaviour.

They might be motivated to perpetrate factitious disorders either as a patient or by proxy as a caregiver to gain any variety of benefits including attention, nurturance, sympathy, and leniency that are seen as not obtainable any other way. In contrast, somatoform disorders, though also diagnoses of exclusion, are characterized by multiple somatic complaints that are not produced intentionally.

Still doesn't mean their 'message' isn't a piss poor effort in itself that displays an inexcusable lack of sensitivity and insecurity on their part though, but like I maintained earlier - they're unlikely to see that for themselves, and even less likely to care what their own judgement says about them.

Pacing Mule

GreeBo wrote: »

I think its incredible how people can react to something while they clearly are not taking the time to read it properly or attempt to comprehend the point its making.

On the other side. I think it's incredible that people can't see that the point being made is a cover story.

The explained point itself as a stand alone and properly explained point is valid if it is being made directly to those parents it describes.

But that's not the case here. The group is a closed group for those who wish to remain childless. They have no basis, mandate or genuine reason to address a specific set of parents who are using autism as an excuse.

Instead they put up that text as their avatar / image on facebook. A group that advocates childless living has no reason to have such a statement as their image unless it is a direct dig at parents in general. We want to be child less because kids can be brats and when they do it's because parents blame autism is the vibe from that picture. Anyone who questions it is banned from the group. The group admin claims to have wide support but deletes anything that isn't support. And in the mean time parents who do live with and raise genuinely diagnosed kids are left looking at a message that says their kid is not autistic, he's just an asshole and it's their own fault. That is disgusting trolling at its best.

How you can't see that is beyond me.

FullblownRose

It's an unfortunate fact that many people, including people on this thread who claim to be autistic themselves, are highly ignorant of the complexity of it. There are more triggers for autistic 'meltdowns' than any one autistic person could list, because it's also highly individual. So, it's impossible to look at a behaviour and say, that person may be autistic but i think the behaviour is also a result of a lack of boundaries or discipline. In saying that you are demonstrating that you don't understand your own ignorance, because unless you know the child very well you don't know what's causing the meltdown. SSomething is causing it, autistic eole generally don't do these things out of brattiness. The parent could be doing the only thing they can do by waiting the 'tantrum' out.

Balmed Out

For the apologists,


They made a blanket statement about autistic kids. Despite the explanation that fact renders much of the explanation bollix. They could have changed the picture to say some or a minority or whatever. I reported the page too for all the difference itll make.

Teyla Emmagan

I know a woman whose eldest boy is now autistic again. I tend to have trouble keeping my jaw closed on the regular occasions when she tells me 'he's not autistic anymore'. He only seems to be autistic when he falls behind a bit, in the normal way kids do when they're growing up. But when he catches up with the rest of his peers he loses the autism again. She's not even trying too be funny, albeit in poor taste, she's actually that ignorant.

Actually I should just slap her, on behalf of her son and anyone she comes in contact with who actually has a child with autism.

FullblownRose

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Find the page appalling, won't be reporting it as I believe in free speech.

There's meant to be rules about hate speech on Facebook.