Best way to discipline a hamster?

A Greedy Algorithm

I have hamster that needs to he disciplined for a wrong doing.

I do not want to harm it or do anything bad as it is usually well behaved.

What is the best way to apply some discipline?

Kevin McCloud

Set the hounds on him.

Macavity.

You can't discipline a hamster.

biko

Take away his little wheel, that'll learn him.

A Greedy Algorithm

Macavity. wrote: »

You can't discipline a hamster.

What about every time it misbehaves I pick it up and give him a slight squeeze?

Not hard as I do not want to hurt it. Would this work?

endacl

This works. You'll need a buddy, and a handball alley though.

Slicemeister

Try tickling him until his cheeks go red.

kowloon

Hamsters deal in cold, hard logic. Debate the issue.

csallmighty

Cut off its allowance

endacl

Slicemeister wrote: »

Try tickling him until his cheeks go red.

Face cheeks, or....?

wardy2

Have you try sending it to a
hamster school

biko

You have to use Operant conditioning to teach animals stuff. It suppresses undesirable behaviour and reward desired behaviour.

KeithM89

10 seconds in the microwave on a low heat.

Cantremember

With a rabbit.

The Backwards Man

The hamster is probably deliberating on how to discipline you. Smart bastards, hamsters are.

brummytom

Hamsters are vicious little cúnts. Have you got a cat? Or anything that would eat a rodent?

Macavity.

A Greedy Algorithm wrote: »

What about every time it misbehaves I pick it up and give him a slight squeeze?

Not hard as I do not want to hurt it. Would this work?

Just kill the bastard. Feed him to a cow and video it. Post it in cool vids & pics & links.

Kevin McCloud

Kill him with a left footed slean.

Lapin

18 posts in and no one has suggested introducing the hamster to Freddy Starr.

Slicemeister

endacl wrote: »

Face cheeks, or....?

Unless you want to be covered in hamster excrement, whatever floats your boat.....

Adamantium

KeithM89 wrote: »

10 seconds in the microwave on a low heat.

Truly a Jack Bauer moment.

ardle1

Poor hamster is probably gay, and thought by being a nidgey hamster he would impress you....
those relationships never last funk him up big shytle and do a frano on him... Eh with a tooth-pick, in ratio to his size and all that, be gentle..:eek:

Son Of A Vidic

Wheel clamp works all the time.

Chunners

Beat the living ****e out of yourself in front of him, studies show that hamsters running on their wheel really get the point when humans get self inflicted black eyes in front of them especially if the human in question deserves it

AngryHippie

Blast the hamster with piss !

(Surprised it wasn't mentioned earlier)

Chunners

Show him who's boss from the start

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jybGyuRYwug

Angry_Mammarys

Give the little sh!t a kick up the arse

Duggy747

Make love to him.

Uncle Ruckus

Flick his nuts.

Ed Winchester

What was the wrong doing? Just so we know what kind of hamster this is.

Miss Lizzie Jones

A Greedy Algorithm wrote: »

What about every time it misbehaves I pick it up and give him a slight squeeze?

Not hard as I do not want to hurt it. Would this work?

If you want to get bitten go ahead but I really hope you're joking.

unjedilike

Everytime he does something wrong put him in the snake tank for five minutes

Sclosages

I see this all the time. People getting hamsters and not knowing the first thing about them. Did you do any research on the breed before you got it? So many people do no research and end up with unhappy hamsters. I would suggest hamster socialisation classes. As for the misbehaviour, it is not the hamster's fault. It is always the owner's fault. Are you leaving the hamster alone a lot during the day? Hamsters are social animals and love spending time with their family. It is a myth that they enjoy running around in a wheel. Would you spend all day every day running in a wheel? I suspect not!

Given that your hamster is acting out, do not under any circumstances ever leave the hamster alone unaccompanied with children. The hamster is YOUR responsibility. Hamsters make lovely pets but they are not just for a day. They're for as long as they don't escape. Have you neutered your hamster? Perhaps a trip to the vet at a mere cost of €60 would be in order. The vet can give him a proper check over and advise you more.
Finally, do not take advice off people on the internet. Seek professional help. I hope this serves as a warning to anyone considering getting a cuddly hamster without doing their research.

MarkR

Leave him in front of Richard Gere with a bottle of lube for 5 minutes.

fizzypish

MarkR wrote: »

Leave him in front of Richard Gere with a bottle of lube for 5 minutes.

That only works on Gerbils. Hamsters love an ould root around the back passage.

CrazyRabbit

Put him in the Boards.ie server for a few hours.

marklazarcovic

This him?

SEPT 23 1989

a light spanking?

Shiraz 4.99

Waterboarding, too good for the bastard

HamsterFace

Sit on his face

Cee-Jay-Cee

I find a short spell in the microwave oven dulls my hamsters appetite for causing trouble.

Hamster, you are a bad hamster. Bad! Now go sit on your wheel and think about what you did.

wnolan1992

Sclosages wrote: »

Finally, do not take advice off people on the internet. Seek professional help.

If the OP seeks professional help then he'd be taking your advice...

Egginacup

A Greedy Algorithm wrote: »

I have hamster that needs to he disciplined for a wrong doing.

I do not want to harm it or do anything bad as it is usually well behaved.

What is the best way to apply some discipline?

Get a big ominous looking cat and sit him beside the cage. Hamster boy won't be long in behaving.

Mr. CooL ICE

Many hamsters like being disciplined. If you want to teach him a lesson, the best punishment is no punishment at all.

Beano

wnolan1992 wrote: »

If the OP seeks professional help then he'd be taking your advice...

its a conundrum isnt it?

FTA69

Sclosages wrote: »

Given that your hamster is acting out, do not under any circumstances ever leave the hamster alone unaccompanied with children.

It's hardly an angry pit-bull is it? I can't see the headlines myself; "Child Mauled to Death by Killer Hamster."

OP, have you tried striking it with a very small stick?

Last_Minute

If this is a serious question....

I used to have a hamster once who often tried escape from his cage. He actually attempted to build a small network of tunnels UNDER his house that would allow him into out of the cage and into the floor boards where god knows what he was up to. I only found out when i went to clean his house and found the tunnels. I know this might sound crazy but my neighbours also had a hamster and i think they were meeting up under the floors at night and coming back before i got up the following morning.

Instead of cleaning his house just place some new wood shavings on top of the old dirty ones - it will look clean but when the hamster gets in the cage he will realise it is still dirty underneath.

My hamster actually commited suicide by forcing his head through the small bars on the cage and suffocating himself. Hamsters are alot smarter than you think.

SoulTrader

Make him listen to Enya for thirty minutes.

Beano

Last_Minute wrote: »

If this is a serious question....

I used to have a hamster once who often tried escape from his cage. He actually attempted to build a small network of tunnels UNDER his house that would allow him into out of the cage and into the floor boards where god knows what he was up to. I only found out when i went to clean his house and found the tunnels. I know this might sound crazy but my neighbours also had a hamster and i think they were meeting up under the floors at night and coming back before i got up the following morning.
...

Did he try to jump over some barbed wire on a motorbike?

Intifada

Cut off its water