Comparing yourself to other people?

hatrickpatrick

MissKittenfire wrote: »

I think you can tell though.

I am pretty unable to be anyone but just me.

It's like someone who shop lifts an expensive dress and someone who earns it. You can tell. You can see someone who has put themselves together and really is that person. And who is creating an an image. Sometimes it is even a distressing image or a more badass one.

My life is full of small and big pleasures and some sadness. A lot of it might not mean much to someone else.

I kind of see myself as my own superhero battling through the world. I am the star of my life. If it means nothing to others then I guess I am a mystery to them.I am confident in my own self worth. Or I try to be I avoid people who are not positive and kind in life.

I have deep real friendships and friends who make me laugh or I can talk to. There is real connection. I love them and I know they love me. We are lucky to have each other. A lot of the time we just talk about silly stuff not trying to be anything or anyone. It's always us.

Have you ever heard of the Johari personality window? We're studying this in college at the moment and it's fascinating - your personality is divided into four sections, the "arena" (what you know about yourself, and others know about you), the "facade" (what you know about yourself, but others don't know about you), the "blind spot" (what you don't know about yourself, but others do) and the "unknown" (what neither you nor others know about you).

As part of this we have group discussions regarding our own perceived weaknesses and how we can try to overcome them, in which we choose words to describe ourselves from a big list, others choose words, and we compare the lists. During this process, I described myself as having an extreme social anxiety and being soul crushingly shy, which I really am and I make a conscious effort to pretend I'm not. Everyone in the group was shocked, and when they gave me their own word list to describe me, every single person had written "extroverted" while several had put "self assured" and one had put "self confident".

So there's an example of an effective facade, and my argument here is that when you look at Facebook that's all you're seeing - you're seeing other people's arena, but comparing it to your own facade (in other words, you're seeing only the things you know about them, but comparing that to the things only you know about yourself). In that context, IMO, it's pretty easy to be extremely harsh on yourself and imagine that you're surrounded by people who are more interesting than yourself.

Just my theory though!

MissKittenfire

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Have you ever heard of the Johari personality window? We're studying this in college at the moment and it's fascinating - your personality is divided into four sections, the "arena" (what you know about yourself, and others know about you), the "facade" (what you know about yourself, but others don't know about you), the "blind spot" (what you don't know about yourself, but others do) and the "unknown" (what neither you nor others know about you).

As part of this we have group discussions regarding our own perceived weaknesses and how we can try to overcome them, in which we choose words to describe ourselves from a big list, others choose words, and we compare the lists. During this process, I described myself as having an extreme social anxiety and being soul crushingly shy, which I really am and I make a conscious effort to pretend I'm not. Everyone in the group was shocked, and when they gave me their own word list to describe me, every single person had written "extroverted" while several had put "self assured" and one had put "self confident".

So there's an example of an effective facade, and my argument here is that when you look at Facebook that's all you're seeing - you're seeing other people's arena, but comparing it to your own facade (in other words, you're seeing only the things you know about them, but comparing that to the things only you know about yourself). In that context, IMO, it's pretty easy to be extremely harsh on yourself and imagine that you're surrounded by people who are more interesting than yourself.

Just my theory though!

That is really interesting :-)

Weirdly and I know this will annoy you. And it's mad and not an insult, I realize psychology is a rigorous discipline. But it reminds me of astrology. In sort of the planets bleh bleh.

But in the way it breaks down personalities. You have your rising sign. How you are perceived, the sun or the overall you. Your soul or subconscious. Then your style of communication and then your sexuality and your venus ..which is your idea of what love should be and your way of expressing it and how your friendships work.

The way you perceive your boss is different to the way your boss's wife perceives him or his children. You might see an ogre and they a pussycat. Or you see a school jock and his brother sees and insecure person.


I tend to make snap judgements on character. More so on the way people make me feel. But that too is based on my personality or stuff I have been through. I go on my feelings.

But it's interesting. The exterior me is only one part.

We often misjudge people.

I try to make people feel ok around me.

I actually think FB or my twitter is not a facade as such. I tend to just put whatever is on my mind. But it's definitely no where near the whole of me.

I wonder how I am different to how people perceive me. Probably a lot more stable. I give off batty vibes. Which is true. I am skitterish and a little anxious. But I am quite emotionally constant in friendships.

I like self knowledge. I don't like if people use it against you. I think your class is interesting.

What is your degree in?

BrokenHero

Yes. I wish I was Rocco. Why can't I be Rocco.

Colossal Phallus

Very rarely, well sometimes at the urinal.

MissKittenfire

nidgeweaseal wrote: »

No I hate everyone and love myself

You have the perfect name. Just another perfect thing about you.

FanadMan

Everyone does it. It all depends on how you view your results.