Honestly...does money come into the equation when you marry someone?

SkyBlueClouds

We all know that it takes all sorts to make a world - and at both extreme ends of the scale you have the pauper poor V's extravagantly rich. And while we all may adamantly refute money/profession over personality - there are an equal number of people who secretly have agendas (will only marry X if he is of a certain white collar profession, can be a great spouse and support myself and the kids with an extravagant lifestyle etc...)

When it comes to your relationships, how important is money/status to you when looking at your OH?

How Soon Is Now

SkyBlueClouds wrote: »

We all know that it takes all sorts to make a world - and at both extreme ends of the scale you have the pauper poor V's extravagantly rich. And while we all may adamantly refute money/profession over personality - there are an equal number of people who secretly have agendas (will only marry X if he is of a certain white collar profession, can be a great spouse and support myself and the kids with an extravagant lifestyle etc...)

When it comes to your relationships, how important is money/status to you when looking at your OH?

Where both equally as poor so its grand .

Money means nothing theres nothing worse then someone who is more interested in what your job is then who you actually are as a person.

December2012

You have to be on the same page and have the same attitude about money to make things work well.

Donkey Oaty

Good God, OP - if you have to even ask, they're not for you - and vice versa.

biko

As long as we both have frontage things will work out.

Wompa1

I'll be concerned with my own money and she can be concerned with hers.

I'll make large purchases, only when it suits me. I won't intend on going into debt because my partner wants to.

How Soon Is Now

Dont ever go near a woman with a really good job or education unless your equal or better. Either she will look down her nose at you or someone else will make sure your aware of how much a failure you are!. Theres bound to be exceptions to this but not very often id imagine.

Ive seen it happen on more then one occasion!

DoYouEvenLift

If you plan on having kids then it definitely should, you should aim to be able to provide them with as high a quality of living with as many opportunities as possible and money is pretty much the most important component of these. From paying for the best food and nutrition to the best schools and tutours to the best medical care etc. parents need to have a lot of money between the two of them

Cantremember

Hay for sale.

Timberrrrrrrr

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

Dont ever go near a woman with a really good job or education unless your equal or better. Either she will look down her nose at you or someone else will make sure your aware of how much a failure you are!. Theres bound to be exceptions to this but not very often id imagine.

Ive seen it happen on more then one occasion!

Pure unadulterated bolloxollogy.

How Soon Is Now

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

If you plan on having kids then it definitely should, you should aim to be able to provide them with as high a quality of living with as many opportunities as possible and money is pretty much the most important component of these. From paying for the best food and nutrition to the best schools and tutours to the best medical care etc. parents need to have a lot of money between the two of them

You dont need loads of money for these things and no one needs the best of everything. Ya if you happen to have a good job great if you want to give them the best thats your choice.

Its not essential though theres more to having a family then money its important but money can only buy so much.

Macavity.

If I was an extremely attractive woman I would marry an incredibly rich man (someone with millions) and then divorce him.

bee06

December2012 wrote: »

You have to be on the same page and have the same attitude about money to make things work well.

I agree with this, it doesn't matter how much money he makes but how he handles his money is very important to me.

How Soon Is Now

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

Pure unadulterated bolloxollogy.

lol say what you like ok but im telling ya it happens. Im not saying every woman does it but it does happen and it doesn't surprise me.

The Backwards Man

I couldn't marry someone who earns less than I do. I'm not a snob, just dirt poor.

Timberrrrrrrr

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

lol say what you like ok but im telling ya it happens. Im not saying every woman does it but it does happen and it doesn't surprise me.

I could come up with the most fantastical sensationalist situation in the world and say "Oh but it does happen" but you make it sound like every woman is a gold.digger and if you don't earn more than her then society/family/friends will judge you.

Saipanne

I couldn't blame a woman for going for a guy with a career. It shows he is capable of taking things seriously.

How Soon Is Now

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

I could come up with the most fantastical sensationalist situation in the world and say "Oh but it does happen" but you make it sound like every woman is a gold.digger and if you don't earn more than her then society/family/friends will judge you.

See i actually went and said its not always the case because obviously not all women would be like that but ive seen it happen a few times and ive seen peoples attitudes on other websites and places so im not just pulling it out of the sky!.

Women can earn as much as they like means nothing to me ! plus i know plenty of generous girls friends and ex s so its not as if im claiming all women do it.

There is an attitude by a lot of people out there though that the man should should be supporting his wife family etc not the other way around. Obviously a lot more women now a days are out working and have good jobs but you still have people who would look at a fella under performing and hold it against him.

Timberrrrrrrr

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

See i actually went and said its not always the case because obviously not all women would be like that but ive seen it happen a few times and ive seen peoples attitudes on other websites and places so im not just pulling it out of the sky!.

Women can earn as much as they like means nothing to me ! plus i know plenty of generous girls friends and ex s so its not as if im claiming all women do it.

No you said

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

Dont ever go near a woman with a really good job or education unless your equal or better. Either she will look down her nose at you or someone else will make sure your aware of how much a failure you are!. Theres bound to be exceptions to this but not very often id imagine.

Ive seen it happen on more then one occasion!

DoYouEvenLift

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

You dont need loads of money for these things and no one needs the best of everything. Ya if you happen to have a good job great if you want to give them the best thats your choice.

Its not essential though theres more to having a family then money its important but money can only buy so much.

My opinion is people shouldn't be having kids if they don't have the capabilities of raising them to be quality people, obviously this isn't limited to earnings but it's a massive part of it. I'm just disappointed when I see people having children who I know have sh!t morals and outlooks on life and also earn next to nothing. The children these types of people give life to did not choose to be born into the poor families and I just feel it's selfish that the parents couldn't just put their own egos aside and hold off on having kids until they achieved better circumstances, but if they happened to never achieve better circumstances then just hold off on reproducing altogether.

How Soon Is Now

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

No you said

Theres bound to be exceptions as i said.

Look dont get upset im not saying all women do it or whatever but its out there and its common enough without it being in your face.

How Soon Is Now

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

My opinion is people shouldn't be having kids if they don't have the capabilities of raising them to be quality people, obviously this isn't limited to earnings but it's a massive part of it. I'm just disappointed when I see people having children who I know have sh!t morals and outlooks on life and also earn next to nothing. The children these types of people give life to did not choose to be born into the poor families and I just feel it's selfish that the parents couldn't just put their own egos aside and hold off on having kids until they achieved better circumstances, but if they happened to never achieve better circumstances then just hold off on reproducing altogether.

So how much money should you be earning to be allowed have kids then?

Overheal

some studies in the world wide suggest that low income families see higher divorce rates yes

Timberrrrrrrr

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

Theres bound to be exceptions as i said.

Look dont get upset im not saying all women do it or whatever but its out there and its common enough without it being in your face.

That's some back peddling from

Dont ever go near a woman with a really good job or education unless your equal or better. 

FURET

The poll options are bad. Money does not equal status.

Compatible attitudes to all things finance are vital for a happy marriage in my opinion. A chief cause of marital breakdown is financial stress. A couple have to be on the same page with regard to how money is used. Marriage is as much an economic partnership as an emotional partnership.

How Soon Is Now

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

That's some back peddling from

Ok next time ill remember this conversation and i wont be so full on !

Anyways.....

DoYouEvenLift

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

So how much money should you be earning to be allowed have kids then?

How long is a piece of string? It varies from location to location.

Stheno

Overheal wrote: »

some studies in the world wide suggest that low income families see higher divorce rates yes

There are several also which indicate that women who earn higher salaries than the norm are more likely to initiate divorce

Money isn't a fraction as important as having the same broad outlook and similar values are.

As long as one partner isn't going to spend their lives carrying the other (excepting unemployment etc) then as long as there's enough money to support the family I wouldn't care if I earned it or he did.

How Soon Is Now

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

How long is a piece of string? It varies from location to location.

Im not saying i agree or i dont agree with you but if everyone went along with that be a lot less people having kids in the world. Something id imagine would go down well in AH :pac:.

DoYouEvenLift

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

Im not saying i agree or i dont agree with you but if everyone went along with that be a lot less people having kids in the world. Something id imagine would go down well in AH :pac:.

That's the point, yes.


It'll never happen, I know, but I'd be all for artificial population control. We need licences to have dogs as pets yet some people can pop out kids left and right because they're bored in life and expect it to bring them to a state of permanent happiness. Literally the most important milestone of anyone's life is reproducing and we have idiots rushing into it and it's the children who had no choice in the matter that suffer.

How Soon Is Now

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

That's the point, yes.

Well its going to happen either way so unless you come up with some genius plan thats life im afraid

I'll expect them to have a good dowry

Sauve

Wouldn't matter a damn what my partner earned as long as he had a good work ethic and a similar attitude/approach to money as I do.

TheBeardedLady

Money =/= status.


My boyfriend is unemployed and broke (he had a job when I met him but lost it a year later) but he had savings and supports himself, although I pay a bit more in rent and cover some things. I'm on less than 13,000 a year (yep, you read that right - okay salary here and enough to live on though - little goes a longer way here) and I would like to have kids with this man. That won't happen until he gets a decent job and I'm earning more (which I'm working on - back in uni). In terms of money, that's the only thing I care about - that we have enough to raise a few kids together, so yes, it's something that we both have to consider. I think everyone has to consider that when settling down with someone.


However, I couldn't give a ****e how he earns that money as long as it's not criminal.


Hand on heart, money and status have never been important to me, although brains are absolutely essential.

TheBeardedLady

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Hand on heart, money and status have never been important to me, although brains are absolutely essential.

I'll take a clever interesting man over a rich thick any day.

The Diabolical Monocle

I've been told that these dating web site things feature questions pertaining to the individuals annual wage and what variety of motor vehicle they possess.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Honestly, as long as he wasn't on the dole long term I wouldn't care. I wouldn't care what he worked at as long as he was happy. Money is not important to me as I'm an independent woman and I have my own career and can support myself.

My OH is financially secure, and yeah it's nice. But it was nice too when he was a student living on noodles too.

How Soon Is Now

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

I've been told that these dating web site things feature questions pertaining to the individuals annual wage and what variety of motor vehicle they possess.

Theres a section for what you earn and if you drive thats all ive ever seen.

SkyBlueClouds

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

I've been told that these dating web site things feature questions pertaining to the individuals annual wage and what variety of motor vehicle they possess.

Some websites specifically for this niche - for gold diggers and ''elite'' individuals looking to meet with other like minded rich snobs alike.

Worth noting that this happens on both sides of the equation, male/female, straight or gay.

DoYouEvenLift

Candie wrote: »

I'll take a clever interesting man over a rich thick any day.

Doubt there are too many of them anyway

One eyed Jack

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

That's the point, yes.


It'll never happen, I know, but I'd be all for artificial population control. We need licences to have dogs as pets yet some people can pop out kids left and right because they're bored in life and expect it to bring them to a state of permanent happiness. Literally the most important milestone of anyone's life is reproducing and we have idiots rushing into it and it's the children who had no choice in the matter that suffer.

It is?

I'll bet you haven't considered the fact that other people don't think the same way you do.

Money isn't important to me, can't answer for anyone else, and don't particularly care enough to analyze other people's relationships.

DoYouEvenLift

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Doubt there are too many of them anyway

There are different kinds of intelligence.

The Diabolical Monocle

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Hand on heart, money and status have never been important to me, although brains are absolutely essential.

One imagines that this anomaly is related to the genetic happenstance that produced your beard growing abilities.

Most unusual.

guitarzero

Moneys all the moneys that moneys, lets money it like it is.

TheBeardedLady

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

One imagines that this anomaly is related to the genetic happenstance that produced your beard growing abilities.

Most unusual.

Why presume I was talking about a facial beard! Oi oi! Wink wink! ;)

DoYouEvenLift

One eyed Jack wrote: »

It is?

I'll bet you haven't considered the fact that other people don't think the same way you do.

Money isn't important to me, can't answer for anyone else, and don't particularly care enough to analyze other people's relationships.

Yeah, it's a pity since the only point to life is procreation. We're born to survive and breed and die.

How Soon Is Now

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Yeah, it's a pity since the only point to life is procreation. We're born to survive and breed and die.

I really should of binned my son before he was born. What was i thinking!.

The Diabolical Monocle

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Why presume I was talking about a facial beard! Oi oi! Wink wink! ;)

urrrgh.


picturing frankie boyle wearing scarlet lipstick now.

TheBeardedLady

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

urrrgh.


picturing frankie boyle wearing scarlet lipstick now.

A Frankie Boyle? Is that what they're calling it these days? ;) Winky winky.

DoYouEvenLift

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

I really should of binned my son before he was born. What was i thinking!.

What a thing to be sarcastic about. Disgusting.