I'm too slow

LegacyUser · 10-09-2014 1:54pm #1

I am out of work at the moment. I graduated in 2007 with a degree in Software Dev in one of the lesser prestigious IT's in the country.Since then have I worked in three jobs, the second one I liked the most and the other two I didn't (they were support roles). I have had gaps of about six months between these jobs. The middle one was a software dev job, working in C#,ASP.NET and AJAX. I really enjoyed it and stayed for two and a half years. I made very little money as the company never turned a profit and eventually I had to leave because I wasn't being paid. It was a small company and to call myself a "developer" was a bit of a glorification really. I wasn't writing code according to the proper way of doing things. There were no code reviews as there was just me and one other person. We didn't follow any development methodologies or design patterns or any of that stuff.If a real developer reviewed my code I'd say he/she would be fairly shocked. I wasn't under any pressure in there as my boss was very laid back (always in late in the morning etc.). He never put deadlines on any of my tasks. That's not to say I was lazy while I was there; quite the opposite in fact. I was always in early in the morning and sometimes worked late in the evenings. I used to work some weekends as well. The thing is I had to because (and here's the reason for my post); it takes me ages to get things done. I don't actually mind taking a long time to fix something as I am learning while I am figuring it out and that's what I want most from a job; to learn more. I wouldn't have worked overtime in a fit in the other two jobs because the work was s**** (no learning value) and was boring as well. I got away with taking a long time to resolve things in that job but I know I wouldn't in a more professional company. I never failed to complete a task in that job however (I had no choice anyway; there was nobody except me to do it as the other guy was useless).

The way I work is like this: If I don't know something I just go off and google it or download code samples from github or wherever. Then I figure it out but it takes me too long. That's my achilles heel and always will be I think.

I'm not slow at everyting, I can fix the easy things quickly. When I can't figure something out I don't want to give up on it. I could stay in front of a PC working on something for hours until I had it working. It's more of a doggedness than anything else, I just refuse to accept I can't fix it, I take it really personally. My way of work is more perspiration than inspiration. The feeling of satisfaction when I finally resolve it is fantastic. It's what I work for really.In the last job I worked alongside a guy who cheerfully admitted to me that he had no interest in software or IT, he just saw it as a job and had no desire to expand his knowledge. I couldn't believe it. I can't understand how somebody in IT can be like that.
I love to learn new things in software development (in fact not just in development but in IT in general). But I'm not really very good at it.If I could just find my own level, a kind of middle ground, I would be OK. I know I'll never be a proper developer, it hurts but I have to accept it.

To give you an example I had an interview on Wednesday and it went well. I was given a web page to create and they gave me until Friday evening to do it. However by Friday evening I had only about 30 percent of it done because I got stuck on one issue and couldn't fix it. I sent it off anyway explaining this. I continued working on it over the weekend and resolved that issue. Then I got stuck on something else and I didn't get that fixed until yesterday (Tuesday evening). I had it pretty much all done by then but I decided there would be no point in finishing it as it was four days past the deadline. I was exhausted by then anyway as I had been working on it for six days and evenings without a break. I actually enjoyed doing it,I learnt a few new things I didn't know before and I will probably finish it at a later date just to satisfy my curiosity. The part I didn't enjoy was when I got stuck on those things and I couldn't fix them. Sometimes I get despondent and accept I will never get to the level I want to and tell myself "You're no good". But deep down I can't really accept it, it sticks in my craw.I could get a support job easily enough if I wanted but I just couldn't do that kind of work, it's soul-destroying.I left the last one because I just couldn't take the boredom anymore. I was glad I didn't get the dev job that I did the coding test for as I know I would find myself out of my depth in it.

I am working away on a website while I am out of work but I don't know if there is any point in it anymore, I'll never be efficient enough to get employment in the area I like.
So it's a real dilemma that I don't know how to solve.

Jim2007 · 10-09-2014 6:25pm

Well to start with you got a degree in software development, so I think we can assume you have the brains for the job...

From your comments I can see one of two issues, either: you are too much of a perfectionist or you have not learned to think out of the box when looking for a solution. The good news is that you can learn skills to deal with both situations if you are willing.

For instance the assignment you mentioned in your post, was not about getting it all working correctly, it was about getting a working solution out there. That requires you to know when it is good enough (not great, just good enough) and to search for alternative solutions when you hit a wall and are getting no where.

Unfortunately I don't know anyone in Ireland that could coach you on this kind of stuff, but perhaps someone else can come up with some suggestions.

LegacyUser · 10-09-2014 7:25pm

Jim2007 wrote: »

Well to start with you got a degree in software development, so I think we can assume you have the brains for the job...

From your comments I can see one of two issues, either: you are too much of a perfectionist or you have not learned to think out of the box when looking for a solution. The good news is that you can learn skills to deal with both situations if you are willing.

For instance the assignment you mentioned in your post, was not about getting it all working correctly, it was about getting a working solution out there. That requires you to know when it is good enough (not great, just good enough) and to search for alternative solutions when you hit a wall and are getting no where.

Unfortunately I don't know anyone in Ireland that could coach you on this kind of stuff, but perhaps someone else can come up with some suggestions.

I am a bit of a perfectionist; I would never under any circumstances ask for help with a problem even if it took me hours to do it by myself. The issue I couldn't fix with the assignment was something that kind of prevented me from from doing the rest of it so I couldn't really do anything else until I got that sorted.
Thye sent a a screen capture of what the finished page should look like and mine (by the time I got it almost finished) looked exactly like that. As I say I just couldn't get it done within the time limit asked. Maybe they didn't expect anyone to get it all done perfectly within the time. It took me three times longer than the time they asked (and even then I hadn't it working fully).
Puts my abilities in perspective.

Mrs OBumble · 10-09-2014 7:51pm

cobra_king wrote: »

I would never under any circumstances ask for help with a problem even if it took me hours to do it by myself.

You need to totally lose this attitude if you every want to work in software development in a commercial place: you will be part of a team, and need to both learn from other team members and to assist them.

Alanstrainor · 10-09-2014 8:09pm

cobra_king wrote: »

I would never under any circumstances ask for help with a problem even if it took me hours to do it by myself...

I'm working for one of the largest multinational tech companies in Ireland, and certainly in the top 10 in the world. This attitude is absolutely not acceptable. Wasting hours on something that could be solved by asking basic questions is nothing to be proud of. It is foolish and wasteful.

A lot of people make the same mistake you have, and I will go as far as to say I make it myself from time to time, but you have to get yourself out of that mindset as it will kill your performance for all work.

TheBlock · 10-09-2014 8:34pm

Alanstrainor wrote: »

I'm working for one of the largest multinational tech companies in Ireland, and certainly in the top 10 in the world. This attitude is absolutely not acceptable. Wasting hours on something that could be solved by asking basic questions is nothing to be proud of. It is foolish and wasteful.

A lot of people make the same mistake you have, and I will go as far as to say I make it myself from time to time, but you have to get yourself out of that mindset as it will kill your performance for all work.

Have to agree here 100%. If there is one thing worse than repeatedly asking the same questions it's not asking any and muddling through.

LegacyUser · 11-09-2014 11:59am

I know it's not a good attitude but that wasn't why I didn't get the last interview. I wasn't able to do the application in time and I was supposed to do it on my own so asking for help wasn't an option there. As the title says, I have just come to the conclusion that I don't get things done quickly enough so I don't know what to do now career-wise.

Mrs OBumble · 11-09-2014 1:36pm

Why couldn't you have just googled to find the solution?

tricky D · 11-09-2014 2:07pm

Stop being a perfectionist. You need to provide value and efficiency in the workplace much more than perfection. Believe it or not, success in the workplace depends much more on how you get on and deal with your colleagues and especially your bosses than how well you do your job. That may sound and is a bit stupid and anti-intuitive, but it's the reality. That can be a hard lesson to learn.

Also that you spent 6 days on a single web page tells me that you need to rethink and/or overhaul your methodologies/practices. Not asking for help is a poor approach as it implies you don't know and/or are afraid of your limitations which is a perilous position. Ironically, by not admitting you have a problem is a greater problem in the bigger scheme.

LegacyUser · 11-09-2014 3:00pm

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Why couldn't you have just googled to find the solution?

I did google it (for hours) but even when you google something (especially in software dev) you don't just magically stumble on the exact thing you want and then just paste it in and everything works perfectly. You have to change it around, do some work by yourself. That's what took me so long.

tricky D wrote:

Stop being a perfectionist. You need to provide value and efficiency in the workplace much more than perfection. Believe it or not, success in the workplace depends much more on how you get on and deal with your colleagues and especially your bosses than how well you do your job. That may sound and is a bit stupid and anti-intuitive, but it's the reality. That can be a hard lesson to learn.

Also that you spent 6 days on a single web page tells me that you need to rethink and/or overhaul your methodologies/practices. Not asking for help is a poor approach as it implies you don't know and/or are afraid of your limitations which is a perilous position. Ironically, by not admitting you have a problem is a greater problem in the bigger scheme.

Even though it was a single web page there was a lot of coding in the back-end required. It had to look a certain way too as they sent a screen capture of what the finished page should look like. By giving two days to do it I suppose they estimated that the person they wanted to hire should have the ability to get it done (or near enough to it) in two days.
I fell well below that standard. I would just like to know my standard so I could apply for that type of job. I don't expect someone on boards to tell me that but maybe just give me some pointers as to what standard I might be suited to.
I don't want to apply for these kinds of jobs anymore as the same thing will just happen again and I will fail the interview and feel bad all over again.

Jim2007 · 11-09-2014 7:20pm

cobra_king wrote: »

I am a bit of a perfectionist; I would never under any circumstances ask for help with a problem even if it took me hours to do it by myself.

As one of my mentors put it along time ago: you are successful when problems get solved, not necessarily when you solve the problem.

You are expected to put some time into solving the problem but by the same token you are expected to know when it is time to call a halt and seek help. Finding someone to unblock you and get you moving again is part of being a professional and not being able to accept that will hold you back in the long run.

Irish_Elect_Eng · 11-09-2014 10:57pm

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

You need to totally lose this attitude if you every want to work in software development in a commercial place: you will be part of a team, and need to both learn from other team members and to assist them.

Agree 100%

I am a manager of an engineering team, having previously been an engineer. I cannot remember the last time I got through a day without needing the help of others to complete my work. Either, asking those to whom I report to clarify tasks, set goals or for additional information or decisions Or asking those that report to me for their technical expertise or help in completing tasks for me.

An isolated worker is a weak one, that can only achieve a defined workload each day, a worker that can use their networks is so much stronger and can achieve a multiple of the workload.

LegacyUser · 13-09-2014 4:30pm

Irish_Elect_Eng wrote: »

Agree 100%

I am a manager of an engineering team, having previously been an engineer. I cannot remember the last time I got through a day without needing the help of others to complete my work. Either, asking those to whom I report to clarify tasks, set goals or for additional information or decisions Or asking those that report to me for their technical expertise or help in completing tasks for me.

An isolated worker is a weak one, that can only achieve a defined workload each day, a worker that can use their networks is so much stronger and can achieve a multiple of the workload.

Probably true but when I was doing the web page I did ask for help online by posting to forums and such. I was meant to do it on my own so they could gauge my abilities. I didn't do too well. This "teamwork" thing is beside the point I think. However, thanks for the post.

seannash · 19-09-2014 4:41pm

cobra_king wrote: »

I did google it (for hours) but even when you google something (especially in software dev) you don't just magically stumble on the exact thing you want and then just paste it in and everything works perfectly. You have to change it around, do some work by yourself. That's what took me so long.

Surely there are forums you can ask on that will give you enough info to give you that AHA! moment? You can do it anonymously too so no one will know you got stuck

LegacyUser · 20-09-2014 5:26pm

seannash wrote: »

Surely there are forums you can ask on that will give you enough info to give you that AHA! moment? You can do it anonymously too so no one will know you got stuck

I did ask on forums and the answers were of some help but it takes time to get replies. In the work environment you don't get that time. That's why it's better to have the knowledge in your head already so you don't have to ask somebody and then wait for a reply.
Really good developers hardly ever have to post on forums when they don't know something so that's where I lose out. It's embarrassing really when I think about it. I've just decided that it's a problem I will never overcome so that's why I'd prefer to work in something a little less demanding.

shivral · 21-09-2014 10:29pm

cobra_king wrote: »

Really good developers hardly ever have to post on forums when they don't know something so that's where I lose out. It's embarrassing really when I think about it. I've just decided that it's a problem I will never overcome so that's why I'd prefer to work in something a little less demanding.

You don't become a good developer because you want to be one. You need, as in any other job, be hard working, understand your own limitation and wiling to learn. I don't want to sound too harsh but it seems you got stuck in explaining your world by "I'm too slow" and expecting the world to slow down to your liking. It doesn't work this way. It's either you're going to sit in a corner and wait for someone to praise you for "deciding that it's your problem you'll never overcome" or you're going to take some risk and start making progress.
I'd suggest you from not repeating "I'm too slow" anymore. I wish you that you will become more solution focused - how about turning your own thinking on that matter into "how can I be faster"? I'm sure it wont be long before you'll see the benefits of this approach.

LegacyUser · 21-09-2014 11:10pm

shivral wrote: »

and expecting the world to slow down to your liking.

I'd like you to point out where in my posts that I said that. If you look through them you will see that I have said quite the opposite;

cobra_king wrote:

it takes time to get replies. In the work environment you don't get that time

sylphlv · 27-09-2014 9:11pm

cobra_king wrote: »

I am a bit of a perfectionist; I would never under any circumstances ask for help with a problem even if it took me hours to do it by myself. The issue I couldn't fix with the assignment was something that kind of prevented me from from doing the rest of it so I couldn't really do anything else until I got that sorted.
Thye sent a a screen capture of what the finished page should look like and mine (by the time I got it almost finished) looked exactly like that. As I say I just couldn't get it done within the time limit asked. Maybe they didn't expect anyone to get it all done perfectly within the time. It took me three times longer than the time they asked (and even then I hadn't it working fully).
Puts my abilities in perspective.

B-but you said that you use google when you don't know something, by that I'm also assuming that you use google when a problem presents itself and you don't know how to fix it, as in.. that's your first step. That's kind of asking for help, isn't it?

LegacyUser · 28-09-2014 11:09am

sylphlv wrote: »

B-but you said that you use google when you don't know something, by that I'm also assuming that you use google when a problem presents itself and you don't know how to fix it, as in.. that's your first step. That's kind of asking for help, isn't it?

Yes you're right, it is asking for help but the crucial thing there is that I'm not asking for help from a person (at least in the physical sense anyway). It's anonymous on the internet so I'm OK with that. I don't want to ask for help from a work colleague as it makes me feel incompetent. I am also privately thinking that the person I ask thinks I am incompetent.
I have read the post from those saying that is a terrible attitude and they are right. I have always been like that. Fifteen years ago I worked in a factory for a year after doing my Leaving cert. We were supposed to ask the maintenance guys to re-calibrate our machines when changing over to make a different part. I would always try to do it myself 'cause I didn't want to ask them out of pride (even though that was their job). I was able to re-calibrate it but it took me too long. My boss pulled me up about it once. Fifteen years later nothing has changed. I think I'd only be happy in a job where I work entirely by myself never asking for assistance from anyone. I am OK giving help to other people (as long as it doesn't impinge on my own work too much). But my problem with being too slow now is that I don't have the knowledge level, not that I don't ask for help. The stuff I am supposed to do on my own I can do but just not quickly enough. That's why when employers give a coding test as part of an interview they put a time limit on it as that's the way it will be in the work environment. That's fair enough, I don't expect to be given infinite time to do my work. I have only come to accept this recently. I suppose I was in denial about it for a long time, telling myself I am good but I'm not really. I would be better off in a slow-paced job but I don't know what that might be.

Stheno · 29-09-2014 9:03pm

cobra_king wrote: »

Yes you're right, it is asking for help but the crucial thing there is that I'm not asking for help from a person (at least in the physical sense anyway). It's anonymous on the internet so I'm OK with that. I don't want to ask for help from a work colleague as it makes me feel incompetent. I am also privately thinking that the person I ask thinks I am incompetent.
I have read the post from those saying that is a terrible attitude and they are right. I have always been like that. Fifteen years ago I worked in a factory for a year after doing my Leaving cert. We were supposed to ask the maintenance guys to re-calibrate our machines when changing over to make a different part. I would always try to do it myself 'cause I didn't want to ask them out of pride (even though that was their job). I was able to re-calibrate it but it took me too long. My boss pulled me up about it once. Fifteen years later nothing has changed. I think I'd only be happy in a job where I work entirely by myself never asking for assistance from anyone. I am OK giving help to other people (as long as it doesn't impinge on my own work too much). But my problem with being too slow now is that I don't have the knowledge level, not that I don't ask for help. The stuff I am supposed to do on my own I can do but just not quickly enough. That's why when employers give a coding test as part of an interview they put a time limit on it as that's the way it will be in the work environment. That's fair enough, I don't expect to be given infinite time to do my work. I have only come to accept this recently. I suppose I was in denial about it for a long time, telling myself I am good but I'm not really. I would be better off in a slow-paced job but I don't know what that might be.

I actually read this post, thought about replying, decided not to and came back and read it again.

The approach you've described above will never be one that will function, let alone thrive in IT, particularly in a development type role.

Between sharing code, and understanding the dependancies between what you are doing and how others are affected, and working with them to talk it all out, the attitude you've posted above will kill projects, and cost clients/customers money.

I think one of the best things I have learned through working in IT is that there really never is a stupid question, and the amount of people I have worked with in IT who appreciate the person who asks the stupid question and despises the person who doesn't is probably in the 99:1 range.

I currently work with someone for whom I've a lot of time, who is in a senior role and knows their staff know more than them, and will ask the stupid questions, like "Does everything go through a DMZ?" They got given a comparison of countries having border security, and if people want to enter they have to go through border security, but if they are in the country they don't and that made sense to them and they appreciate it, express that appreciation. I've asked loads of very basic questions of the many tech gurus I work with, and it means I understand what they are doing at a high level, have a greater appreciation for the implications, and can call out risks (I'm a project manager) I don't need to know the blood and guts, but by gosh I'm not afraid to say "I've no idea what you mean, can you give me an explanation?" or "Does this mean if you do x, then y will be affected?" I'm guilty of it myself, I've got qualifications that mean I sometimes have a tendancy to wonder why people don't know what I do, but rather than them bumble along, I'd prefer them to ask, a very highly qualified hardware specialist recently asked me some basic questions, and I was glad to help them out, as they do the same for me regularly.

It's a basic tenet of IT, it's an incredibly complex area, no one person can ever fully understand everything, and tbh, the amount of sheer cluster****s I've come across because someone didn't ask/question/wonder is one of the biggest reasons failures occur.

If you want to work in IT and especially in development, you'll have to completely rethink that attitude.

Chuck_Norris · 29-09-2014 10:17pm

Stheno wrote: »

I actually read this post, thought about replying, decided not to and came back and read it again.

The approach you've described above will never be one that will function, let alone thrive in IT, particularly in a development type role.

Between sharing code, and understanding the dependancies between what you are doing and how others are affected, and working with them to talk it all out, the attitude you've posted above will kill projects, and cost clients/customers money.

I think one of the best things I have learned through working in IT is that there really never is a stupid question, and the amount of people I have worked with in IT who appreciate the person who asks the stupid question and despises the person who doesn't is probably in the 99:1 range.

I currently work with someone for whom I've a lot of time, who is in a senior role and knows their staff know more than them, and will ask the stupid questions, like "Does everything go through a DMZ?" They got given a comparison of countries having border security, and if people want to enter they have to go through border security, but if they are in the country they don't and that made sense to them and they appreciate it, express that appreciation. I've asked loads of very basic questions of the many tech gurus I work with, and it means I understand what they are doing at a high level, have a greater appreciation for the implications, and can call out risks (I'm a project manager) I don't need to know the blood and guts, but by gosh I'm not afraid to say "I've no idea what you mean, can you give me an explanation?" or "Does this mean if you do x, then y will be affected?" I'm guilty of it myself, I've got qualifications that mean I sometimes have a tendancy to wonder why people don't know what I do, but rather than them bumble along, I'd prefer them to ask, a very highly qualified hardware specialist recently asked me some basic questions, and I was glad to help them out, as they do the same for me regularly.

It's a basic tenet of IT, it's an incredibly complex area, no one person can ever fully understand everything, and tbh, the amount of sheer cluster****s I've come across because someone didn't ask/question/wonder is one of the biggest reasons failures occur.

If you want to work in IT and especially in development, you'll have to completely rethink that attitude.

This this sums it all up. It's not that you're too slow. It's you're attitude that's all wrong/ causing you to be too slow.

To use a cliché: The only stupid question is the one that's not asked. As in, perhaps other people have had the same stumbling block wih being "too slow" and have come up with ways of working, or knowledge improvement to has helped them increase their work rate.

Being proud will only get you so far. Hard work and knowledge will get you a lot further.

Last clicheé to sign off: the difference between a smart man and a wise man...a smart man knows a lot, a wise man knows what he doesn't know.

Stheno · 29-09-2014 10:29pm

Chuck_Norris wrote: »

This this sums it all up. It's not that you're too slow. It's you're attitude that's all wrong/ causing you to be too slow.

To use a cliché: The only stupid question is the one that's not asked. As in, perhaps other people have had the same stumbling block wih being "too slow" and have come up with ways of working, or knowledge improvement to has helped them increase their work rate.

Being proud will only get you so far. Hard work and knowledge will get you a lot further.

Last clicheé to sign off: the difference between a smart man and a wise man...a smart man knows a lot, a wise man knows what he doesn't know.

You forgot the women, the odd women you find in IT

But to reiterate your an my point your last paragraph says it all
In fifteen years of working with IT, it's the people who ask those questions who last.

LegacyUser · 01-10-2014 3:38pm

I agree with what Chuck_Norris and Stheno said but I still think that natural ability goes a long way in IT and I'll always be behind those people in that respect. Yes you have to ask questions but some people are just smarter than others and pick things up quicker.

Stheno · 01-10-2014 11:25pm

cobra_king wrote: »

I agree with what Chuck_Norris and Stheno said but I still think that natural ability goes a long way in IT and I'll always be behind those people in that respect. Yes you have to ask questions but some people are just smarter than others and pick things up quicker.

If that's what you're thinking then and without meaning to be harsh, perhaps it's a good thing you are not longer in IT.

I do think your attitude has a lot to do with it.

Chuck_Norris · 02-10-2014 12:51am

Stheno wrote: »

If that's what you're thinking then and without meaning to be harsh, perhaps it's a good thing you are not longer in IT.

I do think your attitude has a lot to do with it.

To be honest, I don't think you're being harsh at all. The same applies in all jobs, not just IT. You can't be the lone wolf. I'm sorry man/ woman, but you attitude stinks, and will transfer to all other jobs, as its transferred to this one.

Edit: last part not aimed at you Stheno. On the phone so can't multi-quote.

LegacyUser · 02-10-2014 10:28am

Stheno wrote: »

perhaps it's a good thing you are not longer in IT.

Well I am not at the moment but I will have to get back into it soon. It's all I am qualified for.

Stheno wrote: »

I do think your attitude has a lot to do with it.

Maybe but I still think I am not good enough to be a developer. I am thinking of applying for more hardware support type jobs, at least they would be easier. They will pay less but money isn't everything.
I just hate asking for help, if I can't do something by myself my attitude is "take it away from me, I don't want to know". I can't help it.

Mrs OBumble · 02-10-2014 4:47pm

Would you consider some counselling to sort out your issues with asking for help?

'Cos frankly it will make you a liability in pretty much every place you work, no matter what job or industry.

LegacyUser · 04-10-2014 6:28pm

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Would you consider some counselling to sort out your issues with asking for help?

'Cos frankly it will make you a liability in pretty much every place you work, no matter what job or industry.

I would consider it but I'd just rather be self-sufficient in the workplace.

Chuck_Norris · 05-10-2014 9:38pm

cobra_king wrote: »

I would consider it but I'd just rather be self-sufficient in the workplace.

At this stage I'd be questioning whether or not you are trolling. Everybody has given you their opinions/ advice, and you seem to be incapable of listening to it.

This is going to be my last post in this thread, as I think I'm just banging my head against a wall in posting anything.

It's not that you're too slow. It's more that you're incapable of taking on board any help or assistance. That has gotten you this far, and look how well it's working out for you.

I'm not at all sorry for that sounding ultra harsh, as from your previous posts, I don't think it's going to sink in at all.

Best of luck in the future OP. You're certainly going to need it.

LegacyUser · 06-10-2014 11:19am

Chuck_Norris wrote: »

At this stage I'd be questioning whether or not you are trolling. Everybody has given you their opinions/ advice, and you seem to be incapable of listening to it.

This is going to be my last post in this thread, as I think I'm just banging my head against a wall in posting anything.

It's not that you're too slow. It's more that you're incapable of taking on board any help or assistance. That has gotten you this far, and look how well it's working out for you.

I'm not at all sorry for that sounding ultra harsh, as from your previous posts, I don't think it's going to sink in at all.

Best of luck in the future OP. You're certainly going to need it.

OK you are right, I will just have to accept my limitations and "reach out" when I get stuck (as my last boss once put it to me).

LegacyUser · 31-10-2014 12:48pm

I don't think your attitude stinks but pride does come before the fall. Don't let pride be a barrier. You are essentially putting yourself under immense pressure that would be lessened by asking questions - and you won't be paid more for that pressure. So ask the questions and make your job easier.

Now, on another note, if you get most joy from doggedly trying to resolve a problem, especially when there are no clear answers, if you have the grit you say you do, you are not too bothered by salary, you hate management speak (the phrase talent management makes you wretch!) and you want to do novel things - maybe you are not a developer and actually a researcher (which aside from a few meetings is a synonym for lone wolf!). Have you considered a doctorate?

I'm too slow

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