Should I report to Gardai?

Brochatshow

Hi! Basically I'm just looking for advice about reporting an incident of non-serious physical assault to the Gardai. Im a 19 year old female never have been involved with the law so not sure what to do. A few days ago as a learner driver I took my mother's car for a spinaround the house. My 21 year old brother came running out of the house, yanked open door of car and proceeded to pull my arm with extreme force trying to get me out of the car. I could feel the skin of my arm about to tear. Despite my screaming he would not let go. Eventually he managed to drag me out, beat me in the chest until my parents intervened. Long story short, I went to the GP. There was heavy bruising, and neuropraxia in my arm and scratches on my chest. The GP said he would deem it physical assault worthy. My parents naturally don't want me too in case of a criminal record I just need some advice about how to go about reporting or if it's too trivial to report and what possible consequences cud be. Really sorry for overly long post

GBX

Id report him.
Has your brother ever shown signs of being a violent person before? Is he of sound mind?
Was the only reason he dragged and beat you because of the car?

Brochatshow

GBX wrote: »

Id report him.
Has your brother ever shown signs of being a violent person before? Is he of sound mind?
Was the only reason he dragged and beat you because of the car?

He has an aggressive temper and can be quite verbally abusive but I can defend myself quite well when it comes to that. Honestly he has never been physically violent like that b4. Normally if I felt any threat of that (which he has) I just get out of the house. The only thing I could count (as adults) was a fairly brutal kick to the shins back in April.

droidman123

Brochatshow wrote: »

He has an aggressive temper and can be quite verbally abusive but I can defend myself quite well when it comes to that. Honestly he has never been physically violent like that b4. Normally if I felt any threat of that (which he has) I just get out of the house. The only thing I could count (as adults) was a fairly brutal kick to the shins back in April.

This animal needs to be taught a lesson,in fact,you might even be doing him a favor by reporting him.

Brochatshow

GBX wrote: »

Id report him.
Has your brother ever shown signs of being a violent person before? Is he of sound mind?
Was the only reason he dragged and beat you because of the car?

Sorry I meant to add more. I was driving my mother's car which he is due to get when she buys a new one. I was driving cautiously though. I believe he was afraid I might damage/ scratch said vehicle but he acted completely disproportionately.

GBX

Brochatshow wrote: »

Sorry I meant to add more. I was driving my mother's car which he is due to get when she buys a new one. I was driving cautiously though. I believe he was afraid I might damage/ scratch said vehicle but he acted completely disproportionately.

If he is violent because of fears you may damage a future purchase that's unreal. He needs to be reported . This type of behaviour is not warranted for any situation never mind that your were in the car in the first place.

Brochatshow

GBX wrote: »

If he is violent because of fears you may damage a future purchase that's unreal. He needs to be reported . This type of behaviour is not warranted for any situation never mind that your were in the car in the first place.

Thanks for your thoughts I agree. I have spoken to my parents and they said that he could potentially tell the Gardai I provoked him. I just don't see how it counts as provocation! I know they really don't want me to report. They want him to be able to get a job when he graduates but I don't think they're doing him any favours, protecting him like that.

GBX

Brochatshow wrote: »

Thanks for your thoughts I agree. I have spoken to my parents and they said that he could potentially tell the Gardai I provoked him. I just don't see how it counts as provocation! I know they really don't want me to report. They want him to be able to get a job when he graduates but I don't think they're doing him any favours, protecting him like that.

Exactly. Why protect his volatile and violent personality just because he wants a job when he graduated. He should have thought before he assaulted you.

ABajaninCork

Brochatshow wrote: »

Thanks for your thoughts I agree. I have spoken to my parents and they said that he could potentially tell the Gardai I provoked him. I just don't see how it counts as provocation! I know they really don't want me to report. They want him to be able to get a job when he graduates but I don't think they're doing him any favours, protecting him like that.

I agree. And with all due respect, your parents are talking rubbish. They are trying to discourage you from reporting the assault (for that is EXACTLY what it is). You have medical records proving the injuries. If you report this, then it might just discourage the aggressive and bullying behaviour by your brother if he wants a good career when he graduates...

What action did your parents take when you told them about your brother's behaviour?

deisemum

Report him because if you don't he'll probably do it again. Your parents aren't doing him any favours. I've seen it happen within my own family (siblings) and when the thug sibling got violent again within weeks and she did a lot more damage to a different sibling and my mother repeatedly kept siding with the thug but the 2 siblings who'd been physically assaulted reported it to the gardai and the gardai dealt with it. The thug got enough of a fright not to do it again.

Brochatshow

ABajaninCork wrote: »

I agree. And with all due respect, your parents are talking rubbish. They are trying to discourage you from reporting the assault (for that is EXACTLY what it is). You have medical records proving the injuries. If you report this, then it might just discourage the aggressive and bullying behaviour by your brother if he wants a good career when he graduates...

What action did your parents take when you told them about your brother's behaviour?

My father was actually outside when it happened. He was fixing something but I think the open car door obscured what was going on. My mother eventually managed to pull him off me. I was in shock for a long time after. My parents kicked him out of the house that evening and as far as I know he's staying with friends (who I doubt know anything about it/ care). He's come back a few times since, when I've been out to get clothes. I'm really glad that he's gone but I wish my parents weren't trying to undermine me about reporting it. I honestly feel intimidated by the guards, haven't a clue how to go about it so aby advice is welcome! My main concern is that the nerve heals properly and my hand will hp back to normal.

ABajaninCork

At least your parents are taking it semi-seriously by kicking him out. Have you spoken any more about what's happened since then? I'd make it pretty clear that your injuries are serious, and your brother needs to be taught a lesson. He's a right little hard man hitting girls, isn't he?

If you're still going to report this to the Gards, then I wouldn't go alone. Take a friend with you. If the station sergeant fobs you off, then insist on speaking to an inspector.

Brochatshow

ABajaninCork wrote: »

At least your parents are taking it semi-seriously by kicking him out. Have you spoken any more about what's happened since then? I'd make it pretty clear that your injuries are serious, and your brother needs to be taught a lesson. He's a right little hard man hitting girls, isn't he?

If you're still going to report this to the Gards, then I wouldn't go alone. Take a friend with you. If the station sergeant fobs you off, then insist on speaking to an inspector.

We have a fair bit. I think my mother was a bit shocked when I found out that bruises were actually from his fingers digging in. My father said he'd give me a lift but my mother refused to come. She wasn't fully in favour of me driving her car but look as I said it was a spin around the house. I honestly would rather a stranger have done it because the whole thing's a bit of a mess.

ABajaninCork

Brochatshow wrote: »

We have a fair bit. I think my mother was a bit shocked when I found out that bruises were actually from his fingers digging in. My father said he'd give me a lift but my mother refused to come. She wasn't fully in favour of me driving her car but look as I said it was a spin around the house. I honestly would rather a stranger have done it because the whole thing's a bit of a mess.

If your mother wasn't totally zen about you taking her car, then why did you take it anyway? Of course, I'm not excusing your brother's behaviour for one moment, but it might explain why she does not want you to go to the Gards. If I were her, I'd sell the car. That way, NEITHER of you get it, and there'll be no more argument.

And if that offer's still open from your Pops, then take it. Let him take you to the Gards. They'll probably want statements from both of your parents anyway.

Brochatshow

ABajaninCork wrote: »

If your mother wasn't totally zen about you taking her car, then why did you take it anyway? Of course, I'm not excusing your brother's behaviour for one moment, but it might explain why she does not want you to go to the Gards. If I were her, I'd sell the car. That way, NEITHER of you get it, and there'll be no more argument.

And if that offer's still open from your Pops, then take it. Let him take you to the Gards. They'll probably want statements from both of your parents anyway.

My mother and I weren't on the best of terms last Sunday evening. She got physical with me, grabbed hold of me fairly forcibly and held me down. She is still alot stronger than me. To be honest, I didn't feel comfortable admitting this in the first post as it makes me sound like I'm living in an abusive household. I'm not. But I think you can probably see where my brother gets it from. That's why I took my mother's car, in retaliation. Like I said she's alot stronger than me so I would not/could not challenge her physically. These may be why ahe doesn't want me to the Gardai. Of course Im not going to report her, she has other things going on atm which can explain her behaviour somewhat. I regard what he did as very much wrong and largely unrelated. My mother has never really raised her hand to me much before so Im shocked but not hurt. About her selling the car I agree but I don't want it!
I know I was wrong to start and drive the car around the house. But it hardly counts as grand theft auto in the eyes of the law

CaraMay

So why did she physically assault you? Why report him and not her? Maybe it's time to move out of home. You shouldn't have taken her car. I'm not sure we are getting the full story here.

Brochatshow

CaraMay wrote: »

So why did she physically assault you? Why report him and not her? Maybe it's time to move out of home. You shouldn't have taken her car. I'm not sure we are getting the full story here.

I know it's difficult to follow but yes you are. I won't report my mother because I have no marks/damage to show for it. Besides that we have normally a good relationship. I have forgiven her for it. Also if she were reported it would wreck her business. As regards what he did, things are a lot less ambiguous. We generally don't have a great relationship. I think I explained it in another post. I'm preparing for a piano teaching diploma exam so any nerve damage is not good. I suppose domeatic situations are never clear cut.

Montjuic

To be honest ye sound like a crowd of head cases and I'd forget about it all it wasn't that serious really. The Guards would laugh at ye.

Brochatshow

Montjuic wrote: »

To be honest ye sound like a crowd of head cases and I'd forget about it all it wasn't that serious really. The Guards would laugh at ye.

Ah sure I suppose it might be seem odd to you because you haven't experienced it but this sort of sh*t is alot more common than you'd think. I'll agree with you about the seriousness bit when I regain full use of my hand I'll take my chances with them thanks

CaraMay

What of you hope to gain from reporting him?

whirlpool

Brochatshow wrote: »

My mother and I weren't on the best of terms last Sunday evening. She got physical with me, grabbed hold of me fairly forcibly and held me down. She is still alot stronger than me. To be honest, I didn't feel comfortable admitting this in the first post as it makes me sound like I'm living in an abusive household. I'm not.

Yes, you are.

It's time to call a spade a spade.

You have been physically assaulted by your brother, brutally, and you have been physically assaulted by your mother. Whether it happened ten times or it happened once - you are living in an abusive household. You are being abused. You do not deserve to be abused. Nobody deserves to be abused.

It sounds like you have talked yourself into believing this is normal or acceptable behaviour. It is neither. Stop accepting it. It is violent, it is criminal and it is wrong.

You have talked yourself into the mindframe that violent abuse is okay in certain situations, just because it's "common" and just because it's "family." That is a very dangerous and worrying mindframe for you to have talked yourself into. It is never okay. Especially not within a family.

Whatever is going on in your brother's head or your mother's head, don't concern yourself with that at the moment. What's most worrying is what's going on in your head, which is that you believe there can ever be an excuse for violent behaviour towards you. The second that you start making excuses for it, the more and more you will start to accept it in other areas of your life. It is a dangerous path to go down. Do not go down it.

Violence towards you is never okay. It is never right. It is never acceptable and it is never excusable. Please say this to yourself, believe it, and act accordingly!

whirlpool

CaraMay wrote: »

What of you hope to gain from reporting him?

I don't know what the OP hopes to gain, but there is a lot to potentially gain.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Has he been violent towards you before? Has he ever been in trouble with the guards? In my experience the guards do tend to take physical assault on family members seriously. My brother tends to be quite violent with me, but is known to the guards so maybe it's a different scenario. He assaulted me back a few months ago, thought he fractured my jaw and gave me a black eye. I called the guards and within ten mins, three of them arrived at the door. Two males and a female. They were very nice, and kind of pushed me to make a statement. The male guards took him aside and the female guard took me into another room. Of course he denied ever touching me but my face was marked, and had I made a statement, they'd have taken him in straight away.

They explained to me that night, in situations like that, it tends to get worse, not better and there's nothing they can do without a statement, and it would most definitely end up in court, but wouldn't be serious enough for him to be locked up.

They also suggested speaking to my solicitor about getting a safety order which means if he breaks the order he can be arrested straight away. Maybe you could look into that?

I wouldn't be too concerned in thinking you provoked him. There's nothing you could do that warrants him assaulting you or laying a hand on you. It's none of his business what you do with your mothers car as he has no interest in it, yet.

Even if you weren't to make a statement, the gardai will speak to him, if you ask them to, just to even frighten him.

Rubberchikken

you say your mom has never really raised her hand to you - never or ever, they are two different things.
i know it probably hurts but any type of behaviour from anyone is your family is abuse, and it needs to be stopped.

maybe speaking to a community garda would stop your brother behaving like he has, but your mom can't physically restrain you either. none of the behaviour you mentioned is acceptable.

you're all adults and need to address these issues calmly or else it's going to end up in a pretty serious manner.



take care

Brochatshow

CaraMay wrote: »

What of you hope to gain from reporting him?

I would have thought it'd be fairly obvious. Basically I think he should be punished and feel the consequences of his actions. I think he needs a warning and that should be enough to prevent anything like this happening again. I've only just turned 19 and I don't want my confidence to be knocked by this and by reporting it I feel I can redress thag somewhat

seamus

Brochatshow wrote: »

Thanks for your thoughts I agree. I have spoken to my parents and they said that he could potentially tell the Gardai I provoked him.

Textbook domestic violence apologism - "You must have provoked him to cause a reaction like that".
You've been conditioned to think like this too - "My brother beat the **** out of me and my mother grabbed me and held me down, but I don't live in an abusive family".

You do.
My mother never once physically lost the rag with her kids, despite going red in the face a couple of times a day. At worst, we were dragged by the arm and put into our rooms plenty of times, but as children. We got into plenty of physical fights between ourselves, but as children.
Since we've all been 14 or older, none of us have ever comes to physical blows and certainly our parents have never been physical with us - because adults solve disputes with words, not fists.

Imagine living at home and not walking on eggshells all the time lest your mother or your brother lose the rag and hit you or pin you down? That's how the rest of the world already lives. Your family are not normal, no matter how much they tell you they are.

Tbh, it sounds like your brother is mentally ill and it won't be long before he ends up lashing out at someone in public and being locked up for aggravated assault, or worse, murder.
Pretending that it's not a big deal and is something that should be dealt with "in the family", is exactly what causes people like your brother to go untreated and find themselves in much bigger trouble.

Making a report to the Gardai doesn't automatically mean that your brother will receive a conviction; the Gardai could easily choose to come and talk to him, give him and adult caution and advise him to get help.
It may affect his ability to get a job which involves working with vulnerable people, but given what you've described, that's a positive in my book.

This may bring the seriousness of his actions to his attention and even get him to realise that he needs help.

Does he have any good friends that you could talk to about it? Maybe get them to have a proper word with him?

deisemum

I've been thinking about this since I posted last night and the more I think about it I remember other families where a sibling has physically assaulted another sibling most of whom eventually reported the assaults to the gardai. In each reported case that I know of the assaults stopped after the thugs were cautioned by the gardai and none ended up in court, a caution was enough to put a stop to it.

It's a lot more common than people realise until they're in that situation. The gardai do take it seriously.

Dial Hard

Brochatshow wrote: »

She wasn't fully in favour of me driving her car but look as I said it was a spin around the house.

Brochatshow wrote: »

My mother and I weren't on the best of terms last Sunday evening. That's why I took my mother's car, in retaliation.
I know I was wrong to start and drive the car around the house. But it hardly counts as grand theft auto in the eyes of the law

Tbh, this changes things somewhat. None of what happened condones or excuses your brother's behaviour in any way, but if you do go to the Gardaí about this you're going to have to admit that A) you took the car without permission and you were driving unaccompanied. Both of which are against the law. So you need to have a good, long think about whether this is something you want to pursue.

Regardless, your home environment sounds completely toxic and I think you'd be well advised to consider moving out ASAP.

meeeeh

Nothing excuses your brothers actions and your mothers actions also seem crazy and wrong and most likely abusive. I think you should possibly report your brother. But op the person that could do the most damage is actually you. No it was not exactly grand theft auto but what if you would hit someone driving unaccompanied. What exactly is driving around the house? Practicing parking.

You sat in car in already excited state of mind unaccompanied. Your brothers actions were utterly wrong but they should not let you drive unaccompanied.

Magicmatilda

Were you driving the car on private land, around the grounds of the house?

Or are we talking about in a housing estate and on public roads.

I don't really understand why you took the car, was it to provoke your mother? Or did you actually want to go somewhere?

That was wrong and it is wrong to break the law, by driving unaccompanied (if not on private property)and by stealing the car and just to point out in the US it would actually be grand theft auto, you took the car against the wishes of the owner, that is theft.

However you have clearly been raised in an abusive household.

I think that you obviousely want to report this to the Gardai, so you should, however I also think that you need to move out of this situation and that if you do report it against your mothers wishes you would want to move out anyway as she may not "forgive" you ( not that there is anything to be forgiven for, you are well within your rights to report an assault).

I do want to say though while your brothers action were awful and illegal you do need to acknowledge for yourself that you did exasperate the situation by taking the car. You are not responisble for his actions but you are responsible for your own and your own are not entirely respectful. I don't say that to hurt or provoke you but rather to highlight that just because others act disrespectfully it does not mean we should.

Brochatshow

I wasn't going anywhere, I only took it in response to her actions as described above. I know it sounds fairly pathetic but I am not strong as her and didn't want to complicate the situation further with more violence. I cannot emphasise enough, this was on private property, the gates to which were closed at the time. If I'm honest I barely drove 10 metres. The reason it would've annoyed her is because her car is newer than my father's and considered 'offlimits' to me. That's the extent of the "GTA". Perhaps disrespectful, definitely petty but not indictable.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, your brother needs to grow up and learn how to deal with disputes without violence. But you need to grow up and stop attempting to drive your mother's car just to annoy her. A car isn't something to be used as revenge.

If you want to report your brother then go to a garda station and report him. It's that simple. You walk in, tell them you want to report an assault, and they will write down what you say. Your brother will probably be contacted by them and cautioned, but will also get to have his say. Your parents may also be spoken to as witnesses to the assault.

My advice, go to the guards. But be truthful. Because if you are not truthful it could come back on you.

LegacyUser

I agree with you, I shouldn't have done what I did. At the same time I'm not an eejit and would never have taken it on a main road. There's a massive distinction between the two. After reading all the advice I've been given I do intend to report what occurred. Rather than a dispute with my brother, it was more him reacting to what I did with violence. Honestly I don't mind admitting to them that I took the car. It's more that that would involve implicating my mother, something which I'm loath to do. Would omitting that part count as not being truthful? The incident with my brother is unrelated insofar as he wasn't provoked by what occurred between me and her. Just the act of me cautiously driving the car. Also I can't really report her because I very much can't afford to move out of home.

Calibos

Ask all the dead kids hit by cars in housing estates whether it's a 'massive distinction'.

All this talk of abusive households and call the guards immediately assumes the OP is 100 % on the level with us and not exaggerating. For all we know she asked to drive around the estate unaccompanied after 3 lessons, was refused permission quite rightly, threw a wobbler, was restrained by her mother quite rightly when she grabbed the keys, snuck out later with another set of keys and was caught and removed from the car albeit roughly by her brother.

OP, if you are on the level do as others have recommended. If you are not on the level then involving the guards will likely come back and bite you.

Brochatshow

Calibos wrote: »

Ask all the dead kids hit by cars in housing estates whether it's a 'massive distinction'.

All this talk of abusive households and call the guards immediately assumes the OP is 100 % on the level with us and not exaggerating. For all we know she asked to drive around the estate unaccompanied after 3 lessons, was refused permission quite rightly, threw a wobbler, was restrained by her mother quite rightly when she grabbed the keys, snuck out later with another set of keys and was caught and removed from the car albeit roughly by her brother.

OP, if you are on the level do as others have recommended. If you are not on the level then involving the guards will likely come back and bite you.

I don't live on a housing estate. I drove approximately 10 metres and parked it. So it's fairly irrational to assume I was at risk of killing children. I admire your skills of invention I do and I suppose in these anonymous internet situations it's no harm to play devil's advocate.
What my mother did had nothing to do with the car. It just didn't.
I'm being straight with ye. The reason I am having doubts is because I don't want to implicate my mother. I've sorted things out with her and she has apologised, what she did was very much out of character.

ABajaninCork

Brochatshow wrote: »

I don't live on a housing estate. I drove approximately 10 metres and parked it. So it's fairly irrational to assume I was at risk of killing children. I admire your skills of invention I do and I suppose in these anonymous internet situations it's no harm to play devil's advocate.
What my mother did had nothing to do with the car. It just didn't.
I'm being straight with ye. The reason I am having doubts is because I don't want to implicate my mother. I've sorted things out with her and she has apologised, what she did was very much out of character.

The fact remains:

YOU took your Mum's car. Without her permission. You have no licence, only a permit. Are you even insured on that car? You might only have driven it 10 metres, but you still drove it. Unaccompanied, which I am sure you know is illegal. Why, I have no clue. Technically, you stole it. YOU'RE in the wrong here. Your Mum might have overreacted, but you're still in the wrong. Don't you see that??

BUT - Your brother had ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to assault you in the way he did. You have EVERY RIGHT to report the assault.

We seem to be going in circles. It's up to you now. Either you report your brother for the assault or you don't. Like BBOC says - It's that simple.

seamus

ABajaninCork wrote: »

YOU took your Mum's car. Without her permission. You have no licence, only a permit. Are you even insured on that car? You might only have driven it 10 metres, but you still drove it. Unaccompanied, which I am sure you know is illegal. Why, I have no clue. Technically, you stole it. YOU'RE in the wrong here. Your Mum might have overreacted, but you're still in the wrong. Don't you see that??

She drove the car on private property, it never left the mother's property. Therefore, no theft, no road laws broken.

What she did was childish, and she clearly recognises that, but she didn't break any law, so is not implicating herself or her mother in anything by reporting.

Brochatshow

ABajaninCork wrote: »

The fact remains:

YOU took your Mum's car. Without her permission. You have no licence, only a permit. Are you even insured on that car? You might only have driven it 10 metres, but you still drove it. Unaccompanied, which I am sure you know is illegal. Why, I have no clue. Technically, you stole it. YOU'RE in the wrong here. Your Mum might have overreacted, but you're still in the wrong. Don't you see that??

BUT - Your brother had ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to assault you in the way he did. You have EVERY RIGHT to report the assault.

We seem to be going in circles. It's up to you now. Either you report your brother for the assault or you don't. Like BBOC says - It's that simple.

Of course I see that. But I do think you are being hyperbolic. It's not illegal to drive uninsured and without a license on private land that the public has no access to.( As long as it's not a campsite etc.). How many uninsured unlicensed kids have learned to drive on their parent's farms etc.? I took the car in response to what she did. So even if I shouldn't have been in the car it was not illegal.
I'm thankful for all the advice though!

miss no stars

OP.

"I want to report an assault. I was in the driver seat of my mother's car moving it from the front of the house to the back of the house when my brother attacked me".

IF they ask about the car you can say you were being a bit stupid - you'd had an argument with your mother and wanted out of the house and to focus on something other than the argument so you decided to practice stopping and starting the car around the house. No implicating her, no lies either.

iguana

seamus wrote: »

What she did was childish, and she clearly recognises that, but she didn't break any law, so is not implicating herself or her mother in anything by reporting.

I don't think she does recognise how childish that was at all as she is still making excuses for it. She took someone else's car in 'retaliation' that's utterly inexcusable. That's not to say her mother or her brother didn't also behave inexcusably but it seems she very much deliberately set out to provoke a reaction, she just got more than she bargained for.

Tbh, OP I don't think you should go to the guards. I think there were 3 of you in it and you could find yourself in every bit as much trouble as you hope your brother gets into, if not more. Most likely the guards will just give all three of you a stern talking to and be less likely to take you seriously in the future. However I do think you need to move out of home. Perhaps there is a good relationship with your family in your future but it sounds like all of you together under one roof is proving toxic.

Big Bag of Chips

miss no stars wrote: »

IF they ask about the car you can say you were being a bit stupid - you'd had an argument with your mother and wanted out of the house and to focus on something other than the argument so you decided to practice stopping and starting the car around the house. No implicating her, no lies either.

Unless when they speak to your brother he tells them that your mother asked him to stop you from driving the car because you weren't allowed in her car.

Either way, assault is illegal. You taking your mother's car and moving it without permission is a matter between your mother and you. The guards won't really be interested in that. Which is why you are better off being honest from the start, if you do decide to make a statement.

miss no stars

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Unless when they speak to your brother he tells them that your mother asked him to stop you from driving the car because you weren't allowed in her car.

Either way, assault is illegal. You taking your mother's car and moving it without permission is a matter between your mother and you. The guards won't really be interested in that. Which is why you are better off being honest from the start, if you do decide to make a statement.

Yes but that's still not contrary to what I've written. Stopping the OP from driving the car doesn't mean assault her. The car issue is between her mother and her, the Gardai won't be interested in that (provided it was all on private land). I was just illustrating that she doesn't have to mention that the fight with her mother was physical.

ABajaninCork

seamus wrote: »

She drove the car on private property, it never left the mother's property. Therefore, no theft, no road laws broken.

What she did was childish, and she clearly recognises that, but she didn't break any law, so is not implicating herself or her mother in anything by reporting.

Respectfully, I disagree. The car was taken without her mother's permission. But that's beside the point...

However - I still think the brother needs to be taught that you don't lay hands on people because you disagree with what they may have done, however childish that may be.

freshpopcorn

Maybe the mother and brother was afraid the OP was going to drive off the private property and onto a public road because I get the impression that she didn't have full consent to drive the car.

Brochatshow

@iguana I can't quote your post properly for soe reason but look here's my response. I've previously explained my mother's behaviour, perhaps read back and see if you still find my reaction "utterly inexcusable". If you do might I suggest that your judgement is very much off. I wasn't trying to provoke a reaction off my brother. What occurred between my mother and I has nothing to do with him. I didn't "bargain" for any kind of reaction off him, what he did was umprompted by me. Why you think I deserve more punishment than him when I got nerve damage is beyond me. My brother has been gone for a week. Everything is comparatovely peaceful. Make of that what you will.

freshpopcorn

Ok, by reading this thread I get the impression you want to go to the Gardai to report it. So, do it if you want.
If you do you might face a bit of a backlash of your parents/family(these things often happen)
If the Gardai do take it seriously. Your brother might get an adult caution. The whole thing could get very messy from all sides. Your family could say that you were taking the car without consent which is theft. They could also say they were afraid that you were going to drive the car on the public road and seeing that you were inexperienced, uninsured, unaccompanied they were afraid for yourself and other road user's.( If the case did go to court ye all would be a laughing stock in the local paper)(IMO)

meeeeh

Brochatshow wrote: »

@iguana I can't quote your post properly for soe reason but look here's my response. I've previously explained my mother's behaviour, perhaps read back and see if you still find my reaction "utterly inexcusable". If you do might I suggest that your judgement is very much off. I wasn't trying to provoke a reaction off my brother. What occurred between my mother and I has nothing to do with him. I didn't "bargain" for any kind of reaction off him, what he did was umprompted by me. Why you think I deserve more punishment than him when I got nerve damage is beyond me. My brother has been gone for a week. Everything is comparatovely peaceful. Make of that what you will.

I don't understand something OP. You sat in the car with intention of driving 10 meters? Or did you intend to go further and your brother very violently stopped you?

I certainly think your brother deserves anything he gets (why your mother would be still prepared to give him the car is beyond me. But I wouldn't let you drive it again either.). But I also think that your actions were completely out of order and it might be good if Gards would have a chat with you too.

Brochatshow

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Ok, by reading this thread I get the impression you want to go to the Gardai to report it. So, do it if you want.
If you do you might face a bit of a backlash of your parents/family(these things often happen)
If the Gardai do take it seriously. Your brother might get an adult caution. The whole thing could get very messy from all sides. Your family could say that you were taking the car without consent which is theft. They could also say they were afraid that you were going to drive the car on the public road and seeing that you were inexperienced, uninsured, unaccompanied they were afraid for yourself and other road user's.( If the case did go to court ye all would be a laughing stock in the local paper)(IMO)

Hi. Yes my family could potentially say that but they would be lying. I think I said this before but I'll say it again. I could go out right now and measure the distance I drove, it would be less than 10m. The "attempted theft" argument doesn't wash because the gates to the property were locked at that time so even if (big if) I wanted to I could not have "stolen" it (removed it from the property. My mother and brother weren't colluding, he did what he did of his own accord. I realise the possibility of that. Look I'm fully aware of the pointlessness of this whole thing but unluckily enough ive been left with the injuries.

Big Bag of Chips

This thread is going around in circles and becoming pointless. If you want to report your brother, then go into your local Garda station and tell them what happened. That's it. That's what reporting a crime is.

If you don't want to do that, then don't.

freshpopcorn

Brochatshow wrote: »

Hi. Yes my family could potentially say that but they would be lying. I think I said this before but I'll say it again. I could go out right now and measure the distance I drove, it would be less than 10m. The "attempted theft" argument doesn't wash because the gates to the property were locked at that time so even if (big if) I wanted to I could not have "stolen" it (removed it from the property. My mother and brother weren't colluding, he did what he did of his own accord. I realise the possibility of that. Look I'm fully aware of the pointlessness of this whole thing but unluckily enough ive been left with the injuries.

You still drove the car without consent be it on public or private property. If the case does go to court. Your name could get blackened as much as your brothers. Which could mess up your chances of employment/opportunities/etc. I'm just saying this for your own good. I get why you want to report your brother. But I wouldn't bother with the hassle of it.

Uriel.

freshpopcorn wrote: »

You still drove the car without consent be it on public or private property. If the case does go to court. Your name could get blackened as much as your brothers. Which could mess up your chances of employment/opportunities/etc. I'm just saying this for your own good. I get why you want to report your brother. But I wouldn't bother with the hassle of it.

To be honest, while taking the car and the violent outburst by the brother are connected, they are separate matters.

The Gardaí won't pursue the op under Road traffic legislation, because she hasn't broken any. Hopping in the car and moving it around the back garden is likely to be treated as a civil matter rather than a criminal one.

The assault however is something separate, and armed with a gp report of the injuries sustained, the gardaí are required to follow through with the complaint, at least to the point of investigating, even if formal prosecution or caution is ultimately not considered appropriate.

It's a strange enough family situation, if there's a history of this kind of thing, then op should make a formal complaint for definite. If this is out of character, while completely wrong, then the OP I think needs to give further thought as to the potential family repercussions and whether the matter can be satisfactorily resolved without going through the law.

Only the OP can answer that question. It's difficult for us to judge having not witnessed the incident or have an idea of family history.

If it was a viscous beating rather than being dragged from the car forcibly then I'd say the balance would lean towards going the formal route. Being punched in the chest until there was third party intervention sounds like something that would warrant garda involvement.

Much more importantly for the family as a unit and the brother for his life, is to deal with the anger issues etc. Gardaí involvement is unlikely to resolve that. He may need to try get to the bottom of it he is prone to anger outbursts {even nonviolent omes}.

There's a discussion to be had as a family in that regard