wedding invitation - "no posting of pic's on social media site's"

sporina

got a wedding invite the other day and on the back is printed : "x & y request kindly for guests to refrain from posting wedding pic's on social media site's"
not seen this before - is this a common thing now?

MsBubbles

yes. I've heard of Photos of the Bride walking down the aisle being put on facebook before the ceremony is over.

December2012

It's a good idea and fair enough.

lazygal

This should be on every invite. People are spending all their time taking and uploading pictures instead of just enjoying the event.

sporina

i'm confused as to why they have done this - i mean i know the bride to be well - she is never off facebook - scrolling like crazy through pic's and commenting on them..

Kenny Logins

sporina wrote: »

i'm confused as to why they have done this - i mean i know the bride to be well - she is never off facebook - scrolling like crazy through pic's and commenting on them..

..because she wants to post them first.

eviltwin

I suppose she wants a bit of control over what images of her go online.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

I hadn't heard of that before, but if I do ever decide to get married, it's going on my invitations too!

MsBubbles

I forgot to put it on our invitations but we've already asked the celebrant to request all phone/ipads are switched off during the ceremony

tinkerbell

Probably because she doesn't want the whole nation seeing her wedding. I had this happen to me - a guest took over 200 photos of our whole wedding day and put them all up on facebook. The same guest has nearly 1500 facebook friends and after the wedding, my parents had people coming up to them saying they had seen the wedding photos. They said all nice things about the photos but that wasn't the point. It wasn't a nice feeling.

I then asked said guest to please take them down and they did. It really felt like an invasion of privacy tbh. I wouldn't mind friends of mine adding photos when they sort out the privacy settings on it, but some people add total randomers as friends who then see every bloody photo they upload!

sporina

yeah i think in one way, fair play to her - and in another i think its a little hypocritical giving that she is always gossiping about people etc…

meeeeh

It could also be a problem for some guests. If you are in sensitive job you don't want some idiot posting a pic of you a bit red in a face with a big glass of drink.

GalwayGirl26

I agree with the sentiment, but wouldn't put it on invites. I would just have a word with the likely offenders and set my profile so that I couldn't be tagged in anything.
I like to think people would have more cop on, but that's just the way things are....

stinkle

Just wanna chip in with another perfectly good reason to ask this- so as not to offend those who may not have been invited. One person put up pics on Fb of our wedding, it wasn't a huge deal really BUT we have a lot of friends in common and unfortunately due to space and relatives taking ages to get back to us with RSVPs, there were a couple of mates living abroad that I'd love to have invited but it wasa bit late to ask as flights etc were mad expensive. I got a lovely message from one of the friends wishing us all the best but I was a bit mortified about them seeing pics of a bunch of people they know having the craic at my wedding.

A relative of mine got upset at certain people declining to attend their wedding a few years back and insisted no one put up pics. Maybe a little immature of them but you can kinda see their point re:nosy people who couldn't /wouldnt go having a look and passing comment among themselves.

sporina

yes i can see logic in a lot of those replies - especially the work related one…

but as she is on FB and always posting pic's I guess people would assume that she has no problem with pic's and then wondering why she has put that on the invites…

i think a lot of people are already thinking bad of her…

in any event, another crux of social media

eviltwin

sporina wrote: »

yes i can see logic in a lot of those replies - especially the work related one…

but as she is on FB and always posting pic's I guess people would assume that she has no problem with pic's and then wondering why she has put that on the invites…

i think a lot of people are already thinking bad of her…

in any event, another crux of social media

why would they think bad of her? She might be a bit more laid back about posting casual photos but give her a break, its her wedding day, can you blame her for wanting to have a bit more control than normal?

Electric Sheep

It's a sad reflection on peoples manners that this needs to be asked.

Effects

MsBubbles wrote: »

I forgot to put it on our invitations but we've already asked the celebrant to request all phone/ipads are switched off during the ceremony

I wouldn't invite the kind of person that would bring an ipad to a wedding in the first place to be honest.

stinkle

sporina wrote: »

yes i can see logic in a lot of those replies - especially the work related one…

but as she is on FB and always posting pic's I guess people would assume that she has no problem with pic's and then wondering why she has put that on the invites…

i think a lot of people are already thinking bad of her…

in any event, another crux of social media

That is a fair point if she's always putting up pics,but as long as she only puts her own stuff up and doesn't put up pics of other people's weddings/kids/etc then she's entitled to request this.maybe the groom is more private, its not all about the bride either.

BTW I've no prob with folk putting up pics of themselves as wedding guests, just like any night out, but its the putting up pics while the ceremony is still on that irritates most couples. I should also say I was delighted to get any photos of our day once it was all over, so there's a fine line to tread between 'banning' social media and encouraging guests to share photos with you after. Apps are great for this IMO

sporina

anyone else and i would totally pat them on the back for this - but though she is a friend as such - she is a facebook slut… for want of a word… and v nosey and gossipy.. but i'll oblige… i don't care either way,.. was just wondering how common it is

mrsbyrne

sporina wrote: »

anyone else and i would totally pat them on the back for this - but though she is a friend as such - she is a facebook slut… for want of a word… and v nosey and gossipy.. but i'll oblige… i don't care either way,.. was just wondering how common it is

What is "a friend as such"? If she's a v nosey gossipy Facebook slut then why on earth would you want to go to her wedding? Is it going to be a total torment for you to restrain yourself from taking pictures? I'm astonished at your reaction to a really harmless understandable request.
Are some people completely addicted to social media to the extent where any activity is ruined if it can't be documented instantly for public consumption? A couple ask for a small bit of privacy on a massive day for them and grown adults react as if they've been asked to sacrifice their first born. Its crazy.

meeeeh

Electric Sheep wrote: »

It's a sad reflection on peoples manners that this needs to be asked.

Yes that is exactly it. There are pictures of me at parties in my late teens and early twenties that I am so glad there was no fb around then. Nothing special but I wouldn't like to see them online. I know that the couple were probably thinking of themselves requesting this but I don't post pictures of my family or myself so I would prefer that nobody else does it either.

Pipmae

I was due my third baby in August 2011. I warned my family members that nothing was to be posted on social media, particularly Facebook, until DH or I gave the go ahead.

There were certain people we wanted to speak directly to tell them our good news. We didn't want every Joe Soap who is a friend of a friend of a friend knowing when the baby arrived before one of our good friends or a relative who isn't on FB. The last thing we wanted was one of them hearing it like that.

I totally agree with what that invite. I hope the guest respect the request.

Princess Peach

Presumably the bride and groom are paying a photographer who can get much better photos than guests on their phones anyway, so might just want to use those.

Good article here on how snap happy guests can ruin the professional photos!

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3331528/

anamaria

We are putting a small note at the beginning of the mass booklet kindly asking people to refrain from posting pictures of the ceremony/bridal party. But I set up a wedding pictures app so I can send an invite to all my friends (through Facebook!) So they can share their photos that way. At least then we have some semblance of privacy. I don't want to come across as fussy but it's a special day to be shared with friends and family, not the rest of the country!

sporina

mrsbyrne wrote: »

What is "a friend as such"? If she's a v nosey gossipy Facebook slut then why on earth would you want to go to her wedding? Is it going to be a total torment for you to restrain yourself from taking pictures? I'm astonished at your reaction to a really harmless understandable request.
Are some people completely addicted to social media to the extent where any activity is ruined if it can't be documented instantly for public consumption? A couple ask for a small bit of privacy on a massive day for them and grown adults react as if they've been asked to sacrifice their first born. Its crazy.

she asked us - and btw I should clarity - i do not even have a smart phone so it's actually not applicable to me..

rainbowtrout

sporina wrote: »

she asked us - and btw I should clarity - i do not even have a smart phone so it's actually not applicable to me..

Of course it's applicable to you. You mightn't be able to upload the photo before the bride has reached the top of the aisle, but there's nothing to stop you taking photos with a digital camera and uploading them to FB the following day.

mrsbyrne

sporina wrote: »

she asked us - and btw I should clarity - i do not even have a smart phone so it's actually not applicable to me..

If I disliked someone as intensely as you obviously dislike this girl I definitely wouldn't be bothered going to their wedding. Its an invite, not a summons!

Tarzana

lazygal wrote: »

This should be on every invite. People are spending all their time taking and uploading pictures instead of just enjoying the event.

I know, right?

I attended a surprise 60th birthday party a while back. Great night, but it was so bizarre that when the lady of the hour's entrance was imminent, her three children were hiding behind their iPhone and digital cameras.

My BF and I were both like "No, you take a pic, I want to enjoy the entrance" then we both said "OK, let's neither of us take a photo or video and just enjoy experiencing the moment". That seems to have been lost to some extent. People are obsessed with documenting events rather than living them. One person taking photos or videoing should suffice.

Tarzana

Electric Sheep wrote: »

It's a sad reflection on peoples manners that this needs to be asked.

Yep, after my friend's wedding in 2009, I asked her permission before putting wedding pics on FB. I can't imagine not asking permission!

kkcatlou

sporina wrote: »

got a wedding invite the other day and on the back is printed : "x & y request kindly for guests to refrain from posting wedding pic's on social media site's"
not seen this before - is this a common thing now?

To be honest, I'd be rolling my eyes up more at your friend's spelling on an invite than I would on their request!

There was a long debate on this a short while ago, and lots of divided opinions. I think it is a bit diva like, and in this case, slightly hypocritical, but as other posters pointed out, it's a sad reflection on people that it has to be pointed out!

It looks as though you are trying to find issue with this girl though, and in that case, she was bound to do something wrong!

I betcha anything though, in the few days after the wedding, she'll be dying for some photos and will be begging everybody to send them onto her!!

MsBubbles

Effect my Aunt and Uncle have 2 kids under 10 at the last family wedding while were waiting for the meal they kept the kids entertained with the ipad.

December2012

kkcatlou wrote: »

I betcha anything though, in the few days after the wedding, she'll be dying for some photos and will be begging everybody to send them onto her!!

I don't see that as a contradiction - it's after the wedding and presumably if it's at her and her husbands request then that's different.

stinkle

December2012 wrote: »

I don't see that as a contradiction - it's after the wedding and presumably if it's at her and her husbands request then that's different.

And the medium doesn't have to be via social media either. There's nothing wrong with privately emailing/dropboxing/whatsapping the photos to the couple.

kkcatlou

Effects wrote: »

I wouldn't invite the kind of person that would bring an ipad to a wedding in the first place to be honest.

I'd have to uninvite my mother in that case

stargazer 68

My sister put in on her mass booklet - no photos on social media sites until the following day. Her husband doesn't use FB etc and didn't want photos all over it while the wedding was still going on.

Have seen pics of bridesmaids on FB before they have even got to the church and the room decor while guests are still in the bar - it just spoils it for guests. If you invite someone to your wedding you want to share the day with them and not have people you didnt invite watching it 'frame by frame' before some of your guests.

DeltaWhite

Tbh OP just because you say she's a "facebook slut" (seriously what sort of expression is that to call a "friend") doesnt mean she cant decide that she wants no pictures taken on her wedding day by guests. Totally in her rights to do that and I dont blame her. I'd do the same if I was getting married as I despise facebook and so does my OH. Neither of us are on it so we would be mortified if people were sharing images of us for half of Dublin to see.

renofan

I got married in 2011 and at the end of my speech I told the guests it was ok to put photos of themselves etc. on social media but that myself and my wife didn't want pictures of us up. And I'd like to point out we didn't put any up either. Some days need to be kept special and not plastered all over the net.

Ave Sodalis

Princess Peach wrote: »

Presumably the bride and groom are paying a photographer who can get much better photos than guests on their phones anyway, so might just want to use those.

Good article here on how snap happy guests can ruin the professional photos!

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3331528/

I have to say, as a photographer, that article is actually quite whinny. I agree with the flash and people standing in the aisle but in term of people wanting a picture of the first dance and all, it's quite normal and the photographer had the whole dance to take photos. Im not a wedding photographer but even if nature, you could miss a moment and you just compensate. But then, I'm a slight bit biased after my mother was at a wedding taking her own photos and the bride and groom ended up using them as official photos as their own photographer made a mess of theirs.
Either way, taking photos during the cermony is different from putting them on fb straight away

sporina

kkcatlou wrote: »

To be honest, I'd be rolling my eyes up more at your friend's spelling on an invite than I would on their request!

There was a long debate on this a short while ago, and lots of divided opinions. I think it is a bit diva like, and in this case, slightly hypocritical, but as other posters pointed out, it's a sad reflection on people that it has to be pointed out!

It looks as though you are trying to find issue with this girl though, and in that case, she was bound to do something wrong!

I betcha anything though, in the few days after the wedding, she'll be dying for some photos and will be begging everybody to send them onto her!!

not trying to find an issue - i just had not seen this request before and was wondering why she would make it as she posts all type of pic's on there and i see her forever looking through it on her wall..

but i see some valid point's as to why one would request it as i said before..

but i think i would ask the priest to say it or something and hope that people would not post pic's during the ceremony - its such a private affair..

leck

sporina wrote: »

got a wedding invite the other day and on the back is printed : "x & y request kindly for guests to refrain from posting wedding pic's on social media site's"...

kkcatlou wrote: »

To be honest, I'd be rolling my eyes up more at your friend's spelling on an invite than I would on their request!

Me too on the spelling/grammar but maybe English is not her first language. Why is it that some people cannot resist the urge to slip an apostrophe in between the word and the ‘s’ that makes it a plural!

cactusgal

But even if they're a non-native English speaker, they should still ask someone to proofread the invites! (Not invite's)

In any case, I'm with the bride on this one. You shouldn't have to ask, but best to cover your bases just in case.

grind gremlin

I read something on a forum about someone posting a picture of the bride in her house, before she even left for the church...... Not cool ....

michellie

grind gremlin wrote: »

I read something on a forum about someone posting a picture of the bride in her house, before she even left for the church...... Not cool ....

Jesus tap dancing Christ!

miamee

michellie wrote: »

Jesus tap dancing Christ!

New favourite saying!!

Regarding social media I guess it's understandable that a couple would like some small amount of control over when photos of their big day are shared with a wider audience-strangers, people they didn't invite, etc.

mrsbyrne

The way I see it there are many many reasons why a couple wouldn't want the pics on social media, and absolutely NO reason why any guest HAD too put them on social media, so there's actually no argument at all.

sambuka41

It's got to the point now where you are nearly expected to live your life through social media. I got engaged recently (:D) but we decided not to put anything on facebook about it, for lots of the reasons mentioned (some relatives not on social media, wanting to tell people in person or individually)

But I got a few remarks about it 'oh right, why do we have to keep it a secret?' :rolleyes: It's hardly a secret it's just not on social media! People were a bit confused by the concept of not announcing it on fb.

The wedding I was at last year had pictures of the bride up on facebook as soon as she had walked in, they were up before the ceremony was over. It was almost like a race, 'I'm going to be the first to get the good picture and get it online'. Pretty sad. I will definitely be asking people to sit back and relax, the photographers costing a bomb let him/her do the hard work!! :P

stinkle

McGaggs wrote: »

How's the app work?

App we had just involved logging in and uploading pics once you got a code for a specific wedding. Everyone with that code can see each others pics. Its great cos it meant they were all in the one place - ie no trawling fb to see everyone's photos. Also means that eg brides friends can see pics from grooms family without feeling like total stalkers. Our app allows comments under each photo too.

anamaria

The app we are using is called Wedpics. It can be used with android or iPhone. There is a setting to enable or disable sharing of photos on social media. Just give your guests the wedding code.

MsBubbles

anamaria how much does Wedpics cost ?
I looked at one app it cost €30

stinkle

MsBubbles wrote: »

anamaria how much does Wedpics cost ?
I looked at one app it cost €30

wedpics is freeeee!