Would you tell your Kids you were a Drug Addict

uch

I'm pretty open with my kids, and have admitted to my oldest that I was (and will always will be) a Junkie (but clean for years), haven't told the youngest yet though. She's a toughie though .But would you tell your kids about any drug habbits you've had

Super-Rush

I was never an addict but i've done more than my fair share of drugs over the years. I would tell them when they were old enough to understand what it was all about just so they would know i actually knew what i was talking about and i wasn't reciting what i'd read on a pamphlet.

Charlie19

Educate your kids as much as possible and I think they will form a better opinion on whats an addict.

UCDVet

It's a good idea to mention it, at least as your kids get older. A lot of addiction seems to have a biological component.

http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/genetics/a/aa990517.htm

Just one example. Still, I think it's only fair. If you are embarrassed you can always say it was an Uncle or Grandparent or something.

Bootsy.

I dunno. Children are innocent, and they are too young to really understand.

I get where you're coming from, it's admirable, it's always good to be honest, but I just don't think they'd get it. They just aren't advanced enough to get it.

I've taken all kinds drugs on and off for years, never been an addict, although alcoholism is another story. I don't have young folk, but if I did, I wouldn't see any reason to bring it up.

If you're clean and sober now, then it's really not an issue for them. The here and now is all that matters. The past is the past. No point in upsetting her needlessly.

Edit: Although, if you've already told the oldest, it wouldn't really be fair not to tell the youngest. Best wait till she's a grown adult first though I think.

Soft Falling Rain

If nothing else, it's better for them to hear it from you than some old biddy on your road or from someone else's "little angel."

4zn76tysfajdxp

Soft Falling Rain wrote: »

or from someone else's "little angel."

Sorry, who are you quoting there? Just to be clear.

Soft Falling Rain

Lee Blue Self-improvement wrote: »

Sorry, who are you quoting there? Just to be clear.

I don't follow?

mikeyjames9

I haven't got round to alcohol/drugs yet

I'm a former addict etc

my focus thus focus thus far has been on tobacco and to try and educate them to abstain

Sunnyisland

Yes I would, once I thought they were old and mature enough to understand,IMO it be good to explain the horrors of addiction and what it did to me and my life and indirectly there's .
They here enough about the glamorising of addictive substances it be nice to give them the downside and for some the reality.

LizzieJones

uch wrote: »

I'm pretty open with my kids, and have admitted to my oldest that I was (and will always will be) a Junkie (but clean for years), haven't told the youngest yet though. She's a toughie though .But would you tell your kids about any drug habbits you've had

My sons know almost everything about me.

mickydoomsux

I have no children but I suppose I could tell someone elses kids that I'm an addict.

gugleguy

Interesting thread. I'm a bore.
**** How about would you expect your OH to tell your kids your OH was a Drug Addict.*****

anncoates

Was never one but yes of course I would when they were old enough.

LizzieJones

gugleguy wrote: »

Interesting thread. I'm a bore.
**** How about would you expect your OH to tell your kids they were a Drug Addict.*****
Last edited by gugleguy; Today at 07:08. Reason: messed up third person/ second person meh!

I'm so confused.

renegademaster

honesty really is the best policy, when i was growing up most adults said drugs were bad and could kill ya, now after 15 years of experimenting, prohibition ending globally and factual research coming out I now know XTC/MDMA/Magic Mushrooms/Cannabis etc all have proven medical and spiritual value.

ABajaninCork

I think you're to be commended for being so honest, OP. Very brave of you.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Mm not or never was an addict but don't think I'd be comfortable explaining to children about being weak enough to take drugs during rough patches of my life

kneemos

They'll just throw it back at you,well you did it so why can't I ?unless you're OK with your kids taking drugs.
Definitely a case of do as I say not as I do.

Muise...

I note you say you "always will be" a junkie, OP, - I assume you mean behaviour like risk-taking and longings that you keep in check? This is why I think it is a good idea to tell your children - even if you hide the actual addiction, young children will assume that the bad temper that comes with hangovers/cravings is their fault and that they're not good enough for you. If you have the awareness yourself of what's going on in your recovery, and you share it with them, it will really help.

Glad you're on top of it now.

anncoates

LexieOnRale wrote: »

about being weak enough to take drugs during rough patches of my life

Nice passive aggression.

anncoates

kneemos wrote: »

They'll just throw it back at you.

They'll do that with everything to be fair. Doesn't mean you shirk your authority.

Roland.B.

i would tell them and then tell them what you have been through so they understand what it is to be one and then they might not become its hard to explain

Warper

No i would not. Kids are easily influenced plus it would also provides a logical excuse for getting involved in drugs themselves. Ah well no wonder i take drugs as my father was an addict.

kneemos

anncoates wrote: »

They'll do that with everything to be fair. Doesn't mean you shirk your authority.

Don't want to undermine your authority either.

Warper

renegademaster wrote: »

honesty really is the best policy, when i was growing up most adults said drugs were bad and could kill ya, now after 15 years of experimenting, prohibition ending globally and factual research coming out I now know XTC/MDMA/Magic Mushrooms/Cannabis etc all have proven medical and spiritual value.

So you would want your kids to try these????

Muise...

Warper wrote: »

No i would not. Kids are easily influenced plus it would also provides a logical excuse for getting involved in drugs themselves. Ah well no wonder i take drugs as my father was an addict.

I think you have it backwards there - the "no wonder I take drugs" excuses are pure addict-logic, not someone who is about to experiment. If kids want to try drugs the excuse is escapism or sh1ts and giggles. Telling them about the dangers, especially from personal experience, is being responsible.

anncoates

kneemos wrote: »

Don't want to undermine your authority either.

A lot of parenting is a hit hypocritical. Like telling your kids not to do things you did yourself. What can you do. It's still a necessary counterbalance to natural teenage urges.

SEPT 23 1989

Tried everything when I was a teenager I was a big smoker for years and now I have a daughter heading into her teenage years,,a gardai came into her school to give a talk about the dangers of drugs and she asked me lots of questions about drugs when she came home

I played the thick saying I never did anything like that,all drugs are bad and if I ever caught her doing drugs I would kill her and the person who gave them to her I felt like a total hypocrite and my younger self would have looked at me in disgust

Maybe I handled it badly but at her age I think it was the right thing to do

Warper

Muise... wrote: »

I think you have it backwards there - the "no wonder I take drugs" excuses are pure addict-logic, not someone who is about to experiment. If kids want to try drugs the excuse is escapism or sh1ts and giggles. Telling them about the dangers, especially from personal experience, is being responsible.

I am being protective, why bring up stuff like i was a addict?? Telling them about drug experiences can be viewed as normalising taking drugs. Dont agree with this at all. This is not being responsible imo, its practically encouragement

renegademaster

Warper wrote: »

So you would want your kids to try these????

i would have no problem with my girl taking mdma/mushrooms/lsd/dmt or salvia, in safe amounts and in a safe environment when she's 18+ (minimum) but not until she's mature enough to try them. sadly I may bery well have very little input into when she may/or may not take something to experiment with. My only hope is that she'll talk to me first before ever trying anything like this for the first time so I can give her safe and honest advice, from experience and not propaganda rubbish.

Muise...

Warper wrote: »

I am being protective, why bring up stuff like i was a addict?? Telling them about drug experiences can be viewed as normalising taking drugs. Dont agree with this at all. This is not being responsible imo, its practically encouragement

Because, as the OP says, you don't stop being an addict when you stop using your drug of choice. There are a whole range of behaviours that might have confused or upset or hurt children so it is only fair to explain it so they don't end up blaming themselves or alienated from their parent.

Warper

renegademaster wrote: »

i would have no problem with my girl taking mdma/mushrooms/lsd/dmt or salvia, in safe amounts and in a safe environment when she's 18+ (minimum) but not until she's mature enough to try them. sadly I may bery well have very little input into when she may/or may not take something to experiment with. My only hope is that she'll talk to me first before ever trying anything like this for the first time so I can give her safe and honest advice, from experience and not propaganda rubbish.

Thats where i differ. To say you would have no problem letting your kids try acid is fcuked up. I have tried all drugs and acid is one of the most unpredictable drugs you can take. To have no problem letting your kid take this says a lot about your parenting choices. There is no situation on earth where i would feel comfortable letting my kid take something like acid.

Spunge

Sure id give my young fella a few lines on his 18th

SEPT 23 1989

Warper wrote: »

Thats where i differ. To say you would have no problem letting your kids try acid is fcuked up. I have tried all drugs and acid is one of the most unpredictable drugs you can take. To have no problem letting your kid take this says a lot about your parenting choices. There is no situation on earth where i would feel comfortable letting my kid take something like acid.

I agree the this all the serious drug casualties I have known have been fcuked up using hallucinogenics ,acid is the last drug I would want my kid to mess around with

Grayson

Warper wrote: »

Thats where i differ. To say you would have no problem letting your kids try acid is fcuked up. I have tried all drugs and acid is one of the most unpredictable drugs you can take. To have no problem letting your kid take this says a lot about your parenting choices. There is no situation on earth where i would feel comfortable letting my kid take something like acid.

You should ban them from doing it then. tell them it's evil and they shouldn't do it. Let me know how that works out.

On a less argumentative note, LSD isn't that bad. If a person is in a good place in their life and they are in a safe environment, it should be enjoyable. I think if someone is educated enough they will be able to decide for themselves if it's a good decision or a bad one. And that's what renegademaster was getting at.

Personally I'd be more worried about some of the other drugs on the list and mainly because they can be of dodgy purity. It doesn't matter how well educated you are if you end up being sold pcp instead of mdma.

renegademaster

Warper wrote: »

Thats where i differ. To say you would have no problem letting your kids try acid is fcuked up. I have tried all drugs and acid is one of the most unpredictable drugs you can take. To have no problem letting your kid take this says a lot about your parenting choices. There is no situation on earth where i would feel comfortable letting my kid take something like acid.

ah ok, so you've had a bad trip and have decided to take the mary harney approach and recommend everybody stay away from LSD frever more now is that it, i see, it might surprise you or may even disgust you now that i've had some bad trips myself over the years but that mainly due to abusing and not respecting the powerful drug and taking it when i really had too much going on in my lfie to handle it at the time, but, that said, the majority of my LSD experiences were kick ass

Ipro

Once their a certian age then yes tell them. Educate them. Of you were using then you'd have first hand experience of the negative effects.

When I was younger I'd be far more likely to listen to a "junkie" telling me they were bad and explaining the consequences then I would from someone who didn't have experience.

Once their old enough to understand then I think yeah go for it.

It depends what curcumstances you in. Sometimes it might be better to not say it.

For example I was chatting a girl in prison before ( I was on a school tour years ago) and she was addicted to glue or something like that , she told me about one time when she was upset , her 5 year old daughter went to the kitchen and brought her the glue and gave it to her because she knew this made her mom happy.

This age said was the turning point for her and she decided to become clean after this.

It's all in context really , I'd tell them if it's to educate them , particularly if you don't use them any more but if your still using and their young you don't want to give the idea that these drugs are going to be bringing you happiness.

xzanti

This is a subject I've been pondering a lot myself.

I think the whole "Just Say No" thing that the schools used to roll out is a bit pointless tbh.. never stopped me from doing it tbh.

I often wondered if it was presented a bit more honestly would it make a difference.. for example: Yes, this stuff will more than likely make you feel on top of the world.. you'll feel fan-fcuking-tastic.... for a few hours.. and then you'll feel like the world is coming to an end for the next 4 days.

You'll have flashbacks of telling people you would normally cross the street to avoid that you've always loved them.. and then make plans to go roller blading with them.

You'll tell people things that you've never told a soul.. shameful things that you had planned on taking to the grave, and then have to avoid said person for the next year or so.

You'll find yourself in complete strangers' sitting rooms at 4pm in the day, possibly in a different county following a session, where even the Christmas whiskey from the cabinet had been drained.. and wonder how the hell you got there, and where you're getting the money for a taxi home.. or end up doing 'the walk of shame' :pac:

Well, so I've heard anyway.

Soft Falling Rain

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Mm not or never was an addict but don't think I'd be comfortable explaining to children about being weak enough to take drugs during rough patches of my life

Wow, here's hoping your kids never go through such a patch.

Czarcasm

xzanti wrote: »

This is a subject I've been pondering a lot myself.

I think the whole "Just Say No" thing that the schools used to roll out is a bit pointless tbh.. never stopped me from doing it tbh.

I often wondered if it was presented a bit more honestly would it make a difference.. for example: Yes, this stuff will more than likely make you feel on top of the world.. you'll feel fan-fcuking-tastic.... for a few hours.. and then you'll feel like the world is coming to an end for the next 4 days.

You'll have flashbacks of telling people you would normally cross the street to avoid that you've always loved them.. and then make plans to go roller blading with them.

You'll tell people things that you've never told a soul.. shameful things that you had planned on taking to the grave, and then have to avoid said person for the next year or so.

You'll find yourself in complete strangers' sitting rooms at 4pm in the day, possibly in a different county following a session, where even the Christmas whiskey from the cabinet had been drained.. and wonder how the hell you got there, and where you're getting the money for a taxi home.. or end up doing 'the walk of shame' :pac:

Well, so I've heard anyway.

This is pretty much it really. Why would I tell my child anything about anything I'm ashamed that I've done or been in my past. He won't and can't experience things the same way I did, because he is a different person. His life is not the same as mine was and therefore his mind is not the same as mine was at the time.

I honestly can't see how any good would come of me relating my experience of drugs, alcohol, or sex to my child when he has a completely different life to the one I had. He just wouldn't be able to relate on any level to my experiences. If anything, I could only see it making him MORE determined to experiment with drugs because he would be of the mindset that "just because it didn't go so well for my old man doesn't mean I'll go the same way!".

I'd sooner just educate him with the facts, and try and de-mystify some of his pre-conceived notions that he's no doubt going to pick up from his friends in school. I would also hope that I can guide him in such a way that he doesn't feel there is anything that should be taboo about drugs and that way he would hopefully be mature enough to stay well away from drugs and would feel no need to experiment with them.

Czarcasm

Soft Falling Rain wrote: »

Wow, here's hoping your kids never go through such a patch.

Isn't that the general idea?

xzanti

Disclaimer:
I would just like to point out that I have never been an 'addict' per se where it comes to street drugs.. Never touched heroin, crack, meth etc..

Anything I did was recreational at weekends/parties/holidays/bar mitzvas* etc.. and Way back when.

:pac:

conorh91

renegademaster wrote: »

honesty really is the best policy, when i was growing up most adults said drugs were bad and could kill ya, now after 15 years of experimenting, prohibition ending globally and factual research coming out I now know XTC/MDMA/Magic Mushrooms/Cannabis etc all have proven medical and spiritual value.

"proven" spiritual value?

As for medical value, almost all drugs will be of some medical utility, however obscure or unusual as may be the case.

In recognising medical advantages, I assume you also accept the dangers, in general, of putting unverifiable and potentially dangerous chemical compounds in your body, specifically ecstasy since you mention it?

Grayson

xzanti wrote: »

Disclaimer:
I would just like to point out that I have never been an 'addict' per se.. Never touched heroin, crack, meth etc..

Anything I did was recreational at weekends/parties/holidays/bar mitzvas* etc.. and Way back when.

:pac:

bar mitzvas are big acid house raves?

Shakespeare's Sister

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Mm not or never was an addict but don't think I'd be comfortable explaining to children about being weak enough to take drugs during rough patches of my life

Aw, gutted you missed out on great craic?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Magaggie wrote: »

Aw, gutted you missed out on great craic?

... Distraught.

Guy:Incognito

Grayson wrote: »

I think if someone is educated enough they will be able to decide for themselves if it's a good decision or a bad one. .

That's why no educated and/or smart people smoke so? Or do the medicinal and spiritual bonuses of a pack of Silk Cut outweigh the cancer?

Kelly06

I've never been addicted to heroin but I would tell them and here's why:

I grew up in one of the areas badly affected by heroin in dublin in the 80's. From a young age we had talks on drugs from teachers and the guards. We couldn't play in the playground because of discarded needles etc. The fact that there was a lot of drugs flooding into the area was always a current issue and as children we were aware of it.

Years later the parents moved to a better area when they bought their first house. They did this because the eldest was now old enough to be looking for work and they felt that to give their children the best chance they needed to get a different address.

By the time I was 18 I had a great gang of friends and we went everywhere together. until, one summer somehow one or two of them began experimenting with heroin. Within a few months my great gang of friends was gone. It was often offered to me at parties etc. but because it was so instilled in me from a young age how dangerous it was I just couldn't even try it. Looking back I think that some of my friends grew up in a nice area with nice houses, and nice things and that heroin was never on their radar, they never got to see the effect of it or have it continually brought to their attention in school. It just wasn't taboo enough for them. They were too sheltered from it.

A few of them are dead now, some have turned their life around and never looked back whilst others still struggle on with their addiction, robbed of their true potential, so sad.

Op fair play for turning your life around, take a bow, you should be proud. I say when the time is right tell her about your personal experience but make sure you educate her about drugs because I feel the fear of it saved me.

EoghanIRL

Calpol is a terrible thing alright .

osarusan

I was never an addict, so I'd have no story to tell really.

But I can imagine that some personal tales could be pretty powerful, cautionary stuff for a teenager just beginning their experimentation with a variety of legal and illegal drugs.