Will you marry?

c_man

I've been reading a lot about how the current generation are leaving it much longer to marry compared to their parents before them, and how many are opting out of it completely seeing it as archaic. I have to agree, hardly any of the Lads look like getting hitched any time soon and we're all pushing thirty. I would wager that most of our parents were married in very early twenties. Why is that? Are we just not arsed, or does the commitment frighten us?

Curious to see he result here. I think I'd like to get married but not for a while yet. And let's be honest, the odds of it aren't going up given that you can see I'm posting this on a Saturday night.

Hande hoche!

Solid last option.

wazky

Not even if her fathers shotgun is off safety and prised against the back of my head.

Shenshen

I'm married, I was 35 when we got married and the husband was 40.

My mother got married when she had just turned 20 - for her, it was the only way out of her parent's house, she had a very overbearing, authoritarian and dyed-in-the-wool Catholic father. Marriage was the only escape she could see for herself.

She's divorced now, and has told me more than once that getting married young was the worst mistake of her life.
I kind of would agree with her.

P_1

Honestly I don't know. It really is an expensive gamble on your relationship surviving these days.

Sir Arthur Daley

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in aninstitution.

giveth

If Ireland votes Yes next year....

beano345

Not a hope

c_man

giveth wrote: »

If Ireland votes Yes next year....

They will, you'll be sound.

Bepolite

If it means feck all why not do it and at least get the legal protections it brings? Alternatively be honest with yourselves keep everything separate and make provision for the kids while everything is amicable, in the full knowledge thing probably wont work out.

It constantly surprises me the amount of people with kids with different mothers/fathers and the attitude of I didn't get on so I left him/her. Surely before sticking you dick/getting up the duff you might have made some commitment to each other, be that a Klingon Wedding, Pagan festival or whatever.

Frankly the current attitude seems to be an age old one. Ah sure it'll be grand...

mickydoomsux

I don't think so. Look at the amount of miserable men in the country who are trapped with some hag that gave up once she got the ring on her finger and shot out a kid or two or the women who are stuck with some tub of ****e with a beer gut who gave up once he'd landed a woman to replace his mammy.

Honestly. Go for a walk tomorrow in a fairly busy area and ask yourself would you want to be stuck with any of the 40/50/60/70 year old people you meet along the way?

The divorce rate in the US is pushing 60% at this stage. Marriage is a bizarre concept that just doesn't work in my opinion.

Gone West

When we remove the religion from the institution, I will consider it.
My gay friends can't get married, that's not a club myself or my partner would be interested in joining.

Bepolite

Sorry forgot - Atari Jaguar is my vote.

lazygal

I liked getting married so much I did it twice.

Little CuChulainn

It makes sense for tax purposes and simplifies things like child guardianship and inheritance. I find it ironic that the courts have often tried to defend the importance of marriage in society but in the end of only turned it into a necessary legal contract.

looking_around

might do so for the tax savings, really unfair that you're a "couple" in welfares eyes but not in tax.

Filmer Paradise

Married a fair while myself.

Kids,mortgage,many other debts besides, the whole shooting match.

If you're lucky enough to meet someone good, & I mean really good.

Someone you can make jokes with, as you're reading threatening letters from the Bank, Credit card supplier etc. Drinking cheap wine in the process, of course.

Then to bed for.....more fun.

Marriage is a great thing if you meet the right one, no matter what your age & I'm living proof of that folks.

mickydoomsux

Filmer Paradise wrote: »

Married a fair while myself.

Kids,mortgage,many other debts besides, the whole shooting match.

If you're lucky enough to meet someone good, & I mean really good.

Someone you can make jokes with, as you're reading threatening letters from the Bank, Credit card supplier etc. Drinking cheap wine in the process, of course.

Then to bed for.....more fun.

Marriage is a great thing if you meet the right one, no matter what your age & I'm living proof of that folks.

Except for the riding, all that would have me eating the business end of a shotgun.

UCDVet

Getting married is great.
Getting divorced isn't.

If you're worried about getting divorced, don't get married. It shouldn't be for everyone. Particularly these days, IMHO, where everyone seems to think they should be able to follow their dreams and live an uncompromising life. There is nothing wrong with that, but two people with uncompromising opinions on things like their career (as an example) are just a divorce waiting to happen.

marie12

Do happily married couples log onto boards?

Filmer Paradise

mickydoomsux wrote: »

Except for the riding, all that would have me eating the business end of a shotgun.

Ah no. Having & raising your own kids is a mindblowingly cool experiance.

NZ_2014

Filmer Paradise wrote: »

Ah no. Having & raising your own kids is a mindblowingly cool experiance.

Mindblowingly expensive, tiring and time consuming?

mickydoomsux

NZ_2014 wrote: »

Mindblowingly expensive, tiring and time consuming?

And probably ultimately disappointing?

(I'm a cynic, don't mind me )

Filmer Paradise

NZ_2014 wrote: »

Mindblowingly expensive, tiring and time consuming?

Very true. It's an awful lot of effort, especially when they're babies/toddlers.

Mine are now over that & before the teenage years,where, I'm sure I'll have a different list of problems.

All part of the programme, I guess.

hatrickpatrick

When family law is reformed to treat men as human beings rather than disposable ATMs and insurance policies, I'll consider it.

Supercell

Married almost four years and loving it. Got married in my late thirties (very), only regret is i didn't do it sooner.
The stability and commitment that having a partner for life is wonderful. I think if we were just "partners" we wouldn't work as hard at making the relationship so good for each-other.
Ditto with kids, absolutely incredible to hold your own kids in your arms. As to the expense, well what would i spend my money on?, crap like the latest Apple fashion accessory that's outdated a year later?, no thanks. This is whats its all about - my baby daughter looking extra cute in a new dress (and my wife looking thrilled about it!) or my sons face light up when I get him a new toy car or give him a push on the bike he got for Christmas, money well spent.

December2012

I love being married because I'm married to a brilliant man. We agree on the big things, he's a great father and I'm madly in love with him.

So far it's great for me because I'm with the right person.

We met young (teens), married relatively young (late 20s), started a family (early 30s).

I love being married to him, but the institution isn't for everybody.

Czarcasm

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

When family law is reformed to treat men as human beings rather than disposable ATMs and insurance policies, I'll consider it.

That's not very egalitarian of you Patrick.

Fox_In_Socks

Probably not if it was up to me. I wouldn't see the point. But I'm not in a relationship, so it matters not.

Pwindedd

marie12 wrote: »

Do happily married couples log onto boards?

I can only speak for myself, but yes, yes we do. I hate to be one of them smug bastards that's all "getting married was the best thing I ever did" but it just is for me. Love being Mrs P. Best mates, drinking buddies, etc (ahem). Don't do it unless you both want to would be pretty basic, yet strangely solid advice. It's always going to be a gamble though. You'll either grow together or grow apart.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Yes I'm going to get married, to the Luckiest Man In Ireland, no doubt.
My mother got married younger than I am now though

Czarcasm

Fuzzy wrote: »

When we remove the religion from the institution, I will consider it.
My gay friends can't get married, that's not a club myself or my partner would be interested in joining.

Religion was never part of the institution in the first place, and in recent times it isn't part of it at all unless a person wants to incorporate the ceremony into their marriage.

My wife and I were married in the registry office, bunged the registrar €20 for keeping it short and simple, legally married the same way as my brother and his wife who chose to spend €42k on their wedding which incorporated a religious ceremony.

I'm not sure what effect your friends being able to marry or not would have on your relationship. That just seems a tad silly as they're unlikely to benefit or lose out either way based on your decision whether or not to get married.

Czarcasm

NZ_2014 wrote: »

Mindblowingly expensive, tiring and time consuming?

Yeah but they're great entertainment

Cienciano

Worth doing if you're going to have kids.

mickydoomsux wrote: »

I don't think so. Look at the amount of miserable men in the country who are trapped with some hag that gave up once she got the ring on her finger and shot out a kid or two or the women who are stuck with some tub of ****e with a beer gut who gave up once he'd landed a woman to replace his mammy.

Honestly. Go for a walk tomorrow in a fairly busy area and ask yourself would you want to be stuck with any of the 40/50/60/70 year old people you meet along the way?

The divorce rate in the US is pushing 60% at this stage. Marriage is a bizarre concept that just doesn't work in my opinion.

That makes no sense. That's nothing to do with the act of marriage, that's the specific person. And when you're 40/50/60/70 do you think you'll be going out with an 18 year old?

Czarcasm

Cienciano wrote: »

Worth doing if you're going to have kids.


That makes no sense. That's nothing to do with the act of marriage, that's the specific person. And when you're 40/50/60/70 do you think you'll be going out with an 18 year old?

No harm in being optimistic

Fox_In_Socks

Cienciano wrote: »

That makes no sense. That's nothing to do with the act of marriage, that's the specific person. And when you're 40/50/60/70 do you think you'll be going out with an 18 year old?

I think he means, when you're 40, do you want to be stuck with some of the 40 year old articles that you encounter on a daily basis. Likewise, when you are 50/60/70 etc.

It would make me pause, having known/worked with some absolutely awful people and knowing that they were married and wondering what their day to day life at home was like.

mickydoomsux

Cienciano wrote: »

Worth doing if you're going to have kids.


That makes no sense. That's nothing to do with the act of marriage, that's the specific person. And when you're 40/50/60/70 do you think you'll be going out with an 18 year old?

You're pretty much stuck with them unless you get divorced and you can expect to be taken to the cleaners in that case.

"Cheaper to keep her" is the phrase i've heard used.

I know i'd rather stay alone that stuck with someone who i despise who also looks like a wet bag of dog****e now compared to when i married them.

Filmer Paradise

marie12 wrote: »

Do happily married couples log onto boards?

Yes, because we can't go to pubs/clubs etc.

Make no mistake. I was a serious party animal in the past. Blew a small fortune on drink, travelling, fast women & slow horses.

In my 30's, I decided I needed to go to the 'next level'. I was tired of being a 35 year old teenager & wanted to do something new.

onethreefive

When/If I get married I'd love to spend as little as possible on the actual marriage and go all out on a honeymoon to remember!

Buzz Killington the third

The idea of the eternal commitment or whatever it is, is appealing to a lot of people. However, living in Ireland makes it a big gamble because if the divorce laws. I mean who the fcuk wants to wait 4 years to be free from someone?

Dump that dumb law and make a marriage licence a few grand and a quick fire divorce grant a few grand. Government makes money through divorce and marriage and people can be free when they want.

Czarcasm

Filmer Paradise wrote: »

Yes, because we can't go to pubs/clubs etc.

Make no mistake. I was a serious party animal in the past. Blew a small fortune on drink, travelling, fast women & slow horses.

In my 30's, I decided I needed to go to the 'next level'. I was tired of being a 35 year old teenager & wanted to do something new.

Whaaaa'?

I'm only two years older than you and I still go out for dinner and drinks and then hit the club with my mates, my wife does the same with her mates, and then my wife and I will go out together once a week for dinner and drinks.

It's a bit like the idea of marriage itself - works for some people, doesn't work for others, some people are mature about it, some people are just silly.

Cienciano

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

I think he means, when you're 40, do you want to be stuck with some of the 40 year old articles that you encounter on a daily basis. Likewise, when you are 50/60/70 etc.

It would make me pause, having known/worked with some absolutely awful people and knowing that they were married and wondering what their day to day life at home was like.

Same goes for single people. I know a few single people in work and their life sounds pathetically dull. Marriage doesn't change it. Kids do :pac:
It depends on their personality, not their relationship status.

Pherekydes

Poll is broken. I need to pick divorced and already married.

Lia_lia

I don't know. It's never been something I've really err..aimed for. Many girls dream about the dress/venue/whatever...but I never have. Maybe it's because my parents were never married to each other.

I would never get pressure from my parents to marry either. I just don't really see the point of it tbh. If you're with someone and you're happy with them, why need to get married? Maybe I would for tax reasons/children. But it would be very low key! I am in very happy ltr for the record!

Daenarys

marie12 wrote: »

Do happily married couples log onto boards?

Do happily married couples converse with each other constantly over Facebook to tell each other how much they love/are proud of/or feeling happy with...

efb

Change the law and find me a man who can put up with my shít and me his.

V Doubtful.

marie12

Daenarys wrote: »

Do happily married couples converse with each other constantly over Facebook to tell each other how much they love/are proud of/or feeling happy with...

I don't know I'm not on Facebook :-D

Supercell

Daenarys wrote: »

Do happily married couples converse with each other constantly over Facebook to tell each other how much they love/are proud of/or feeling happy with...

Sure why would we need to do it online when we can do it every night snuggled up together in bed

Daenarys

Supercell wrote: »

Sure why would we need to do it online when we can do it every night snuggled up together in bed

Exactly!! IMO if a couple needs to plaster their love all over Facebook instead of turning to each other and saying it, there is something fundamentally wrong with that marriage.

Pwindedd

Daenarys wrote: »

Do happily married couples converse with each other constantly over Facebook to tell each other how much they love/are proud of/or feeling happy with...

Only occasionally, birthdays or anniversarys - we stood up in front of all our family and friends and declared our commitment, not going to stop now. I don't have any couples on Facebook that use it as a daily communication tool or drive me mad with the luvvie duvvie crap. (Oh crap that means it's us doesn't it?)

xzanti

I'm engaged


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