What is the most stupid thing you've done to a car?

Soarer

Put a load of AdBlue into my perfectly reliable Astra last week after half reading on the 'net that it was good for emissions.
Engine obviously conked out. Siphoned out what I could, and tried to bleed the injectors. No joy, so had to bring it to the mechanic. He had to drop out the tank, and clean out the whole system. Car back up and running again, so threw another €20 diesel into it for a proper flush. Car ran grand for about half an hour but on the way home, oil light came on, loss of power, and I coasted to a halt. Left her for a while and turned her over. She started, but she's knocking very badly. Towed back to the mechanic, and there she sits.
There's oil in the water, so the head's probably gone. Don't know what the knocking is without stripping down the engine, and I told him not to as its obviously fupped.

So if ye know of anyone looking for an Astra in need of an engine, give us a shout.

What a bloody idiot!

alan partridge aha

Soarer wrote: »

Put a load of AdBlue into my perfectly reliable Astra last week after half reading on the 'net that it was good for emissions.
Engine obviously conked out. Siphoned out what I could, and tried to bleed the injectors. No joy, so had to bring it to the mechanic. He had to drop out the tank, and clean out the whole system. Car back up and running again, so threw another €20 diesel into it for a proper flush. Car ran grand for about half an hour but on the way home, oil light came on, loss of power, and I coasted to a halt. Left her for a while and turned her over. She started, but she's knocking very badly. Towed back to the mechanic, and there she sits.
There's oil in the water, so the head's probably gone. Don't know what the knocking is without stripping down the engine, and I told him not to as its obviously fupped.

So if ye know of anyone looking for an Astra in need of an engine, give us a shout.

What a bloody idiot!

That's a bitch sorry to hear about that.
Work colleague of mine has 08 318D bmw, car stopped on good Friday with his wife and she tried to start it. Timing chain snapped (common fault), engine banjaxed over €5k to rebuild.

He has put 2 engines in, non of them the right one and is still off the road nearly 3 months later.

mikemac1

Our family car was in the garage. It was Jap cars always and very happy with them too.

The garage gave a Ford for a courtesy car, I've forgotten what type. I sat outside the garage for aaaaaaages trying to select reverse.

All cars I'd ever driven the reverse was in the bottom right. In the Ford it was top left and that's ok but why wouldn't the gearstick move to that?!?

Being the typical man no way was I going into the garage to ask and when the staff were around I'd fiddle with the radio.

A Garda was walking past so I asked him and there you go, you lift the gearstick to select reverse.

Call me a fool but it wasn't clear to me

I also had my full licence and was driving a few years before I learned you can flick the switch on your rear view mirror if someone behind is dazzling you

sogood

Many many years ago, when I used to go at my various and numerous car repair jobs with a "how hard can it be?" attitude, I changed a half shaft on my Sierra. The splines on the shaft went awol where it goes into the diff, so rang a breaker, told him what I needed ad he had it ready when I arrived.

Next morning, with my replacement half shaft, I set about removing the old one. Removed the wheel and put a socket, with a decent extension, on the shaft retaining nut. Not a budge. Added a longer extension, still no joy. Tried a breaker bar, still no joy, despite doing "Lord of the Dance" on it. My flimsy body wasn't up to the task. Enter the postman! "Here," says I, "jump up on this with me, will ya??" So, together, with some fancy formation footwork, we both jumped, and jumped, and jumped, until at last, I felt a slight movement.

Buoyed by this minor success, we jumped again and again, higher and harder, until the nut finally gave way and spun, relatively freely!!

Exit the postman, after leaving me with the customary handful of bills and final demands and I set about removing the nut entirely......except that......I should have unscrewed it in a clockwise direction!!! Noooooooooooo

A bitch of a job followed getting the damned thing off, but eventually I succeeded, slid the shaft out and offered up the new one, only to find that it was too long. The diff on the Sierra was off centre (on purpose) and the half shafts were different lengths! Is this what "differential" really means??

Then another phone call and a bus trip across town to the breakers before closing time to bring back the wrong shaft and get the right one, (along with a replacement nut).

Oh such happy times we had together, like when the timing belt went after midnight on the Curragh. But then, that's another story..................

Dartz

mikemac1 wrote: »

Our family car was in the garage. It was Jap cars always and very happy with them too.

The garage gave a Ford for a courtesy car, I've forgotten what type. I sat outside the garage for aaaaaaages trying to select reverse.

All cars I'd ever driven the reverse was in the bottom right. In the Ford it was top left and that's ok but why wouldn't the gearstick move to that?!?

In fairness.... I sometimes hit 6th when I want reverse in my own car too. First time I test drove it, it took me a while to grasp I had to push it down first before selecting reverse.

At least I learned that particular car had a shagged motor when I tried to reverse it, stalled it, and it wouldn't restart. Without cranking for a long time, anyway.

Can sometimes take a while to get a hang of a new car.

JoeA3

Used one of those kitchen green/yellow scouring sponges on the windscreen in an effort to remove loads of the usual dead flies mess.
It looked a grand job until I drove it a few nights later and was blinded by the millions of swirly scratches I'd inflicted all over the screen! I cursed my stupidity.

i57dwun4yb1pt8

got a laugh out of story I heard today about a colleagues mate who decided to sell on his car ,
but figured he would clock it back first .
he dismantled the section only to find a note tucked inside saying ' OH NO NOT AGAIN !! '

YbFocus

Doing up my first car.....

About 10k thrown at a 1.4 mk2 Focus. You've all seen it so I will refrain from further embarrassment.

Coilovers, Wheels, Kit, Sound system, €1000 headunit, 80bhp :cool:

darragh o meara

YbFocus wrote: »

Doing up my first car.....

About 10k thrown at a 1.4 mk2 Focus. You've all seen it so I will refrain from further embarrassment.

Coilovers, Wheels, Kit, Sound system, €1000 headunit, 80bhp :cool:

Sounds like a beast. You'd buy a mk1 Focus RS for less than that at the moment, with money left over for insurance

Stallingrad

Drove into an underground carpark with the wife and kids, drove around for ages to find a clear space to avoid and door dings, reversed in not seeing a pillar in my blindspot and crunch, smashed the rear bumper and light cluster. What a tool. On the upside it was the wife's car!

Boskowski

Not myself (thank god) but a lad in my circle of friends - and someone who prides himself with his technical & DIY abilities - jump started the car of a female other friend.
Only thing he somehow got it into his head that of course you connect the minus of the one car to the plus of the other.
:pac:

Wossack

old boss got a weepy phonecall from his daughter one day in work. Driving her 'new to her car' into a carpark, and managed to scrub the passenger side against the wall on the way in. Was understandably fairly distraught, but boss manages to calm her down - 'we'll look after it' & 'I know a guy' etc. Just do your shopping and we'll look at it when I get home

an hour later - another phone call. She's done the same again on the way out.. same corner, other side of the car...

samantha fortune

crashed it into a garda station one night

bear1

samantha fortune wrote: »

crashed it into a garda station one night

I'm sorry... but I need for info on this story please.

Boskowski

JoeA3 wrote: »

Used one of those kitchen green/yellow scouring sponges on the windscreen in an effort to remove loads of the usual dead flies mess.
It looked a grand job until I drove it a few nights later and was blinded by the millions of swirly scratches I'd inflicted all over the screen! I cursed my stupidity.

You can polish / buff those away

MetzgerMeister

Boskowski wrote: »

You can polish / buff those away

With cerium oxide and a rayon pad, not with normal paint polish.

samantha fortune

bear1 wrote: »

I'm sorry... but I need for info on this story please.

Was coming home late from a job i was working in and had been working over 20 hours as i had another job too and shifts got mixed anyways was driving along through town and then suddenly fell asleep behind the wheel and next thing i knew i was after crashing straight into the bridewell garda station.

It actually turned out ok i said that i just lost control out as the roads were wet and they were actually very kind and helpful they made sure i was ok and rang me an ambulance as i got a hard knock to the head and was bleeding.

bear1

samantha fortune wrote: »

Was coming home late from a job i was working in and had been working over 20 hours as i had another job too and shifts got mixed anyways was driving along through town and then suddenly fell asleep behind the wheel and next thing i knew i was after crashing straight into the bridewell garda station.

It actually turned out ok i said that i just lost control out as the roads were wet and they were actually very kind and helpful they made sure i was ok and rang me an ambulance as i got a hard knock to the head and was bleeding.

Wow, least you had no injuries

MetzgerMeister

samantha fortune wrote: »

i got a hard knock to the head and was bleeding.

bear1 wrote: »

Wow, least you had no injuries

:D

Scrappy600

Started racing hot rods at about 13 or 14 I think I was, working on the car one day and the auld lad says to me jack her up will ya, well in I go with the trolley jack at the back of the car (mk1 fiesta) and up she goes. Father slides under the car to do whatever it was can't remember now and let's a roar at me the minute he gets under, at the very same moment I remember thinking "I can smell petrol, why can I smell petrol?" I'd only gone and put the trolley jack directly against and straight thought the petrol tank!

bear1

MetzgerMeister wrote: »

:D

Could be worse... could be dead.
:P

Brief_Lives

samantha fortune wrote: »

crashed it into a garda station one night

This is laugh out loud funny... what a perfect one-liner for the thread question..

(glad to hear you were alright after..!!)

amandaf675

Scrappy600 wrote: »

Started racing hot rods at about 13 or 14 I think I was, working on the car one day and the auld lad says to me jack her up will ya, well in I go with the trolley jack at the back of the car (mk1 fiesta) and up she goes. Father slides under the car to do whatever it was can't remember now and let's a roar at me the minute he gets under, at the very same moment I remember thinking "I can smell petrol, why can I smell petrol?" I'd only gone and put the trolley jack directly against and straight thought the petrol tank!

And its for this reason we remove the original tanks and place a smaller one where the spare tyre should be for hot rods

I myself had only just bought a car and the tank was still the original and we hadnt time to change it so brought it racing. First race, massive stone, bye bye petrol tank...

H3llR4iser

Many years ago I was on the tail end of an absolute nightmare of a spell at work, with a week or so of getting in early (7ish) and finishing at absurd times (2-3 am). I literally just had the time to go home, get a couple hours sleep, get back to work.

Finally, delivery day comes, product out and whatnot, I could go home early and couldn't wait for it. Only problem, that very day had been extremely rainy, with floods happening more or less everywhere.

So I drive out of the car park, and not a km down the road from the office the road was completely flooded - you couldn't even see the footpath anymore. I really should have turned back and waited for some of the water to drain, but being anxious about getting home and crashing on the couch, I tried to go through.

I actually made it to the other side of the flood, but needless to say the engine was spluttering and it finally shut down. As it had obviously ingested water, the good thing to do was to get out and push the car to the side of the road, then plan damage limitation. But no, I idiotically tried to restart it.

Now, those familiar with the nooks and crannies of physics will know water is incompressible...and at least two cylinders were completely filled with it. Result: snapped piston rod, destroyed piston head, shrapnel cracking the sump.

Italy being Italy however, I managed to get a Twin Spark engine with only 70k km (mine had 170k) from a crashed Police cruiser for 350 € and put it in for another 300. And man, I don't know what the "boys (and girls) in blue" had done to that engine, but it pushed like a rocket