What is the most stupid thing you've done to a car?

bear1

Got the idea of this thread from the luxobarge section.
Basically what is the most retarded thing you've done to your car?
I'll start it off (basically a copy/paste job :P)

When I first got my 156 I took it on an EU road trip with the missus.
Roughly 10 countries and then a pop up to the in-laws before heading back to Irl.
Just had the car fully serviced with new belts and AC topped up so I knew the car was in a good way.
Driving along the German border we decide to take a scenic route to a lake.
The road was quite poor but nothing terrible.
All of a sudden the road drops and the car crashes to the ground.
I stopped for a second to check all was ok and it seemed that way so I continued on.
After a few minutes the oil light comes on, at this point I'm thinking that a sensor has gone bad - hate myself when I think of it now.
Light stays on and I decide to bring it to the nearest petrol station and have a proper look around.
After another few minutes the engine loses all power and finally cuts out.
I realised immediately what had just happened and was left gobsmacked that I had been so stupid!
Car gets towed to a mechanic who tells us the sump has a huge crack and the engine is fubbered.
Luckily we were in Poland so I bought an engine for 500e and paid a lat another 250e to pop it in.
1 week later she was back on the road. But that moment of pure idiocy cost me the guts of around 800e.

So, your turn

allibastor

Gave my car to a mechanic in Limerick to fix. 2k later and still being fixed.

bear1

allibastor wrote: »

Gave my car to a mechanic in Limerick to fix. 2k later and still being fixed.

What happened??

Supergurrier

Crossed in front of another car on two occasions while making a right turn when learning.

Besides that little of note

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Neighbour of mine rubbed up the side of my car as he was backing out of his drive. Rang the bell and let me know about it. He was a panel beater, so he said he'd take care of the repairs FOC obviously.

He repaired his own car in no time, but every time I asked when mine was getting done, I was always told "next week." Inevitably next week would come and go, and nothing got done.

I was seriously fed up after a month, and I'd seen an old punto parked outside another house in the estate for months. I asked the owner what the story was with it. "Scrap" says he "I keep meaning to tow it out the breakers yard, the head is warped"

I told him I'd buy it off him for €50. Deal done, I hopped in and he jump started it. I drove it up the road a few hundred metres and ploughed straight into the side of my neighbours car. Out he comes shouting and cursing, I just told him "you needn't get the guards involved, you knew you were meant to fix my car"

Had to get my own car fixed myself, €800

goz83

allibastor wrote: »

Gave my car to a mechanic in Limerick to fix. 2k later and still being fixed.

Thank god it wasn't in Kerry

Truckermal

I put a cheap HID kit into it oh lord god....

MetzgerMeister

A big exhaust on a Rover 400 :pac:

Renegade Mechanic

Off road Astra anyone?
Stupid as hell but one of my favourite cars ever!:D

Tigger

Duracell Bunny wrote: »

Neighbour of mine rubbed up the side of my car as he was backing out of his drive. Rang the bell and let me know about it. He was a panel beater, so he said he'd take care of the repairs FOC obviously.

He repaired his own car in no time, but every time I asked when mine was getting done, I was always told "next week." Inevitably next week would come and go, and nothing got done.

I was seriously fed up after a month, and I'd seen an old punto parked outside another house in the estate for months. I asked the owner what the story was with it. "Scrap" says he "I keep meaning to tow it out the breakers yard, the head is warped"

I told him I'd buy it off him for €50. Deal done, I hopped in and he jump started it. I drove it up the road a few hundred metres and ploughed straight into the side of my neighbours car. Out he comes shouting and cursing, I just told him "you needn't get the guards involved, you knew you were meant to fix my car"

Had to get my own car fixed myself, €800

Note to self; always be polite to this poster

allibastor

bear1 wrote: »

What happened??

Check the engine problem post to hear the full story.

wiz569

A car was part blocking the driveway so made it a bit awkward to get in, it was do-able, have done it before, but had a senior moment and took eye off the ball, so clipped pillar/gate, badly

Mind you pillar is fine, car body not so much, first ever accident for me,

I hate pillars lol



Need to fix it for next months NCT now

darragh o meara

bear1 wrote: »

Luckily we were in Poland so I bought an engine for 500e and paid a lat another 250e to pop it in.
1 week later she was back on the road. But that moment of pure idiocy cost me the guts of around 800e.

Best part of the story.. You gotta love the Polish mechanics.

dgt

Haven't a clue, there were a few....

Seicento, tore out the back seats, inserted 2x 800 watt subs and a 3200w amp. Then put in xenon yellow bulbs. Result: a huge car that blinded everything for half a mile and shook when the subs were turned on

On my Fiesta, I stickerbombed the inside of it

Another stupid thing I did was put money into my old 406 :pac:

Maximus Alexander

Once bought a 1988 Integra from a lad down the country, drove it back to Dublin and then spray painted it matte black with a offset silver stripe running from front to rear on the driver's side. Also bought some of those chrome letter badges from Halford's to spell out Integra on the back.

We were going to try and put a turbo into it for a laugh but we ended up just leaving it in the garden for about 6 months and then, somehow, selling it on.

JohnBoy26

goz83 wrote: »

Thank god it wasn't in Kerry

Why is that?

Atlantic Dawn

Changed the oil in a car, checked the dipstick that oil was correct level, closed bonnet and started car to then recheck level after it heated up. Stupidly I forgot to put the oil filler cap on and when I reopened the bonnet there was oil splattered all over the engine. Luckily nobody else saw it or I would be a laughing stock, I wiped engine down and there was actually a kind of shine of it afterwards, not a bad end to things, could have been so much worse if I took it for a drive.

corkgsxr

Bought I 96 polo.


Shocking stuff

Dartz

According to some people, buying it. They expected me to buy something sensible, but I showed them...,

Oh, and ripping the door of a nearly new Megane down an iron gate, gouging a scrape into that cut the metal.

MAJJ

long time ago helping my Dad clean his pride and joy and I used a brillo pad, this was in days when metallic paint was exotic, . I still remember the sound of anguish from him and him trying to commend me for trying. Thankfully I didn't get to far and tcut helped. I now occassionally post on the detailing forum and even sponges and chamois cloths are bannned in my house.

Another, breaking down, opening coolant cap on side of road, burnt fingers lightly but jumped back just in time to avoid the money shot.

quadrifoglio verde

dgt wrote: »

Haven't a clue, there were a few....

Seicento, tore out the back seats, inserted 2x 800 watt subs and a 3200w amp. Then put in xenon yellow bulbs. Result: a huge car that blinded everything for half a mile and shook when the subs were turned on

On my Fiesta, I stickerbombed the inside of it

Another stupid thing I did was put money into my old 406 :pac:

Which one :pac:

When I had the polo I got in a fight with a girder in the jervis st carpark. 200 quid to fix said scratches!:( I feckin hate parking.

The previous owner of one of my cars spent 500 quid on and oil and plug change.....

theteal

timing-belt roulette

For Forks Sake

theteal wrote: »

timing-belt roulette

Head-gasket roulette on an old Astra.

Renegade Mechanic

For Forks Sake wrote: »

Head-gasket roulette on an old Astra.

Ah yes!:D Hello, brother!!

challengemaster

(unintentionally) Made it fly, with the help of a hump back bridge I was unaware of. I reckon the N15 Almera's suspension is made out of adamantium.

Dord

Dropped a spanner down the cavity in the body. It's still there.

demanufactured

Made a Citroën c4 fly over a hump back bridge at 80kph. ..how it didn't crumble ill never know

alan partridge aha

My 1st car a 1985 MKII diesel Ritmo with huge mileage, that was the 1st mistake.

Had it about 2 weeks and was bringing my brother a few miles down the road (he was getting a lift to Uni) at 4am on a Monday morning. Had a skinful with little sleep and the road turned but I didn't. Got him into the drivers seat and i lifted the back of car out of ditch. Sobered up pretty quick I tell ya.

2 weeks later windy night, parents said don't go out, I did and ended up parking car into a falling oak tree.

Got it sorted and bout 6 months later was pulling another car and I heard this noise, so I stopped and asked the guy was he trying to start his car. He said no I think it might be yours and I looked around to see smoke billowing out of it. It would not turn off and was revving flat out so I rammed it into top and got her to stall. That was the end of the Ritmo but on the upside we were outside a pub when this happened. Every cloud and all.

sunnysoutheast

Was fiddling with my change and managed to drop an old 10p piece down into the gear change slot of my tiptronic Passat. Basically from then on it was touch-and-go whether you could get it into 1,2 or use the manual function on it.

Amazingly and bafflingly I traded the car in Hull in the UK in 2004 and, almost three years later, I was crossing the road in Hammersmith and it rolls to a halt at the crossing.

CiDeRmAn

I have owned 3 Citroens, 2 Xantias and a C5, I feel pretty embarrassed about it now... while driving my crappy Renault....
No more french cars ever!

Funky suspension = Big repair bills!

Soarer

Put a load of AdBlue into my perfectly reliable Astra last week after half reading on the 'net that it was good for emissions.
Engine obviously conked out. Siphoned out what I could, and tried to bleed the injectors. No joy, so had to bring it to the mechanic. He had to drop out the tank, and clean out the whole system. Car back up and running again, so threw another €20 diesel into it for a proper flush. Car ran grand for about half an hour but on the way home, oil light came on, loss of power, and I coasted to a halt. Left her for a while and turned her over. She started, but she's knocking very badly. Towed back to the mechanic, and there she sits.
There's oil in the water, so the head's probably gone. Don't know what the knocking is without stripping down the engine, and I told him not to as its obviously fupped.

So if ye know of anyone looking for an Astra in need of an engine, give us a shout.

What a bloody idiot!

alan partridge aha

Soarer wrote: »

Put a load of AdBlue into my perfectly reliable Astra last week after half reading on the 'net that it was good for emissions.
Engine obviously conked out. Siphoned out what I could, and tried to bleed the injectors. No joy, so had to bring it to the mechanic. He had to drop out the tank, and clean out the whole system. Car back up and running again, so threw another €20 diesel into it for a proper flush. Car ran grand for about half an hour but on the way home, oil light came on, loss of power, and I coasted to a halt. Left her for a while and turned her over. She started, but she's knocking very badly. Towed back to the mechanic, and there she sits.
There's oil in the water, so the head's probably gone. Don't know what the knocking is without stripping down the engine, and I told him not to as its obviously fupped.

So if ye know of anyone looking for an Astra in need of an engine, give us a shout.

What a bloody idiot!

That's a bitch sorry to hear about that.
Work colleague of mine has 08 318D bmw, car stopped on good Friday with his wife and she tried to start it. Timing chain snapped (common fault), engine banjaxed over €5k to rebuild.

He has put 2 engines in, non of them the right one and is still off the road nearly 3 months later.

mikemac1

Our family car was in the garage. It was Jap cars always and very happy with them too.

The garage gave a Ford for a courtesy car, I've forgotten what type. I sat outside the garage for aaaaaaages trying to select reverse.

All cars I'd ever driven the reverse was in the bottom right. In the Ford it was top left and that's ok but why wouldn't the gearstick move to that?!?

Being the typical man no way was I going into the garage to ask and when the staff were around I'd fiddle with the radio.

A Garda was walking past so I asked him and there you go, you lift the gearstick to select reverse.

Call me a fool but it wasn't clear to me

I also had my full licence and was driving a few years before I learned you can flick the switch on your rear view mirror if someone behind is dazzling you

sogood

Many many years ago, when I used to go at my various and numerous car repair jobs with a "how hard can it be?" attitude, I changed a half shaft on my Sierra. The splines on the shaft went awol where it goes into the diff, so rang a breaker, told him what I needed ad he had it ready when I arrived.

Next morning, with my replacement half shaft, I set about removing the old one. Removed the wheel and put a socket, with a decent extension, on the shaft retaining nut. Not a budge. Added a longer extension, still no joy. Tried a breaker bar, still no joy, despite doing "Lord of the Dance" on it. My flimsy body wasn't up to the task. Enter the postman! "Here," says I, "jump up on this with me, will ya??" So, together, with some fancy formation footwork, we both jumped, and jumped, and jumped, until at last, I felt a slight movement.

Buoyed by this minor success, we jumped again and again, higher and harder, until the nut finally gave way and spun, relatively freely!!

Exit the postman, after leaving me with the customary handful of bills and final demands and I set about removing the nut entirely......except that......I should have unscrewed it in a clockwise direction!!! Noooooooooooo

A bitch of a job followed getting the damned thing off, but eventually I succeeded, slid the shaft out and offered up the new one, only to find that it was too long. The diff on the Sierra was off centre (on purpose) and the half shafts were different lengths! Is this what "differential" really means??

Then another phone call and a bus trip across town to the breakers before closing time to bring back the wrong shaft and get the right one, (along with a replacement nut).

Oh such happy times we had together, like when the timing belt went after midnight on the Curragh. But then, that's another story..................

Dartz

mikemac1 wrote: »

Our family car was in the garage. It was Jap cars always and very happy with them too.

The garage gave a Ford for a courtesy car, I've forgotten what type. I sat outside the garage for aaaaaaages trying to select reverse.

All cars I'd ever driven the reverse was in the bottom right. In the Ford it was top left and that's ok but why wouldn't the gearstick move to that?!?

In fairness.... I sometimes hit 6th when I want reverse in my own car too. First time I test drove it, it took me a while to grasp I had to push it down first before selecting reverse.

At least I learned that particular car had a shagged motor when I tried to reverse it, stalled it, and it wouldn't restart. Without cranking for a long time, anyway.

Can sometimes take a while to get a hang of a new car.

JoeA3

Used one of those kitchen green/yellow scouring sponges on the windscreen in an effort to remove loads of the usual dead flies mess.
It looked a grand job until I drove it a few nights later and was blinded by the millions of swirly scratches I'd inflicted all over the screen! I cursed my stupidity.

i57dwun4yb1pt8

got a laugh out of story I heard today about a colleagues mate who decided to sell on his car ,
but figured he would clock it back first .
he dismantled the section only to find a note tucked inside saying ' OH NO NOT AGAIN !! '

YbFocus

Doing up my first car.....

About 10k thrown at a 1.4 mk2 Focus. You've all seen it so I will refrain from further embarrassment.

Coilovers, Wheels, Kit, Sound system, €1000 headunit, 80bhp :cool:

darragh o meara

YbFocus wrote: »

Doing up my first car.....

About 10k thrown at a 1.4 mk2 Focus. You've all seen it so I will refrain from further embarrassment.

Coilovers, Wheels, Kit, Sound system, €1000 headunit, 80bhp :cool:

Sounds like a beast. You'd buy a mk1 Focus RS for less than that at the moment, with money left over for insurance

Stallingrad

Drove into an underground carpark with the wife and kids, drove around for ages to find a clear space to avoid and door dings, reversed in not seeing a pillar in my blindspot and crunch, smashed the rear bumper and light cluster. What a tool. On the upside it was the wife's car!

Boskowski

Not myself (thank god) but a lad in my circle of friends - and someone who prides himself with his technical & DIY abilities - jump started the car of a female other friend.
Only thing he somehow got it into his head that of course you connect the minus of the one car to the plus of the other.
:pac:

Wossack

old boss got a weepy phonecall from his daughter one day in work. Driving her 'new to her car' into a carpark, and managed to scrub the passenger side against the wall on the way in. Was understandably fairly distraught, but boss manages to calm her down - 'we'll look after it' & 'I know a guy' etc. Just do your shopping and we'll look at it when I get home

an hour later - another phone call. She's done the same again on the way out.. same corner, other side of the car...

samantha fortune

crashed it into a garda station one night

bear1

samantha fortune wrote: »

crashed it into a garda station one night

I'm sorry... but I need for info on this story please.

Boskowski

JoeA3 wrote: »

Used one of those kitchen green/yellow scouring sponges on the windscreen in an effort to remove loads of the usual dead flies mess.
It looked a grand job until I drove it a few nights later and was blinded by the millions of swirly scratches I'd inflicted all over the screen! I cursed my stupidity.

You can polish / buff those away

MetzgerMeister

Boskowski wrote: »

You can polish / buff those away

With cerium oxide and a rayon pad, not with normal paint polish.

samantha fortune

bear1 wrote: »

I'm sorry... but I need for info on this story please.

Was coming home late from a job i was working in and had been working over 20 hours as i had another job too and shifts got mixed anyways was driving along through town and then suddenly fell asleep behind the wheel and next thing i knew i was after crashing straight into the bridewell garda station.

It actually turned out ok i said that i just lost control out as the roads were wet and they were actually very kind and helpful they made sure i was ok and rang me an ambulance as i got a hard knock to the head and was bleeding.

bear1

samantha fortune wrote: »

Was coming home late from a job i was working in and had been working over 20 hours as i had another job too and shifts got mixed anyways was driving along through town and then suddenly fell asleep behind the wheel and next thing i knew i was after crashing straight into the bridewell garda station.

It actually turned out ok i said that i just lost control out as the roads were wet and they were actually very kind and helpful they made sure i was ok and rang me an ambulance as i got a hard knock to the head and was bleeding.

Wow, least you had no injuries

MetzgerMeister

samantha fortune wrote: »

i got a hard knock to the head and was bleeding.

bear1 wrote: »

Wow, least you had no injuries

:D

Scrappy600

Started racing hot rods at about 13 or 14 I think I was, working on the car one day and the auld lad says to me jack her up will ya, well in I go with the trolley jack at the back of the car (mk1 fiesta) and up she goes. Father slides under the car to do whatever it was can't remember now and let's a roar at me the minute he gets under, at the very same moment I remember thinking "I can smell petrol, why can I smell petrol?" I'd only gone and put the trolley jack directly against and straight thought the petrol tank!

bear1

MetzgerMeister wrote: »

:D

Could be worse... could be dead.
:P