wedding planning rant!!

Gatica · 06-07-2014 6:17pm

ABajaninCork wrote: »

But to make such a fuss because the coordinator isn't available when SHE wants her to be is way over the top!

I think the OP's post was quite clear that the coordinator was not available several weekends in a row, followed by saying that she doesn't work weekends or evenings. I can completely understand how someone would be making a fuss if they are not able to meet the person who's supposedly responsible for the wedding setup at the hotel. It would be highly unusual for someone who doesn't work weekends to be in charge organising events that predominantly happen on a weekend.
So I find it odd people are defending the coordinator with arguments such as, that she's entitled to a normal family life with 9-5 Mon-Fri hours.
It's like a wedding band saying they don't play after 5pm cos they wanna be with their family for evening dinner too. It may happen at some weddings, but would be rather unusual.

ABajaninCork · 06-07-2014 6:32pm

Gatica wrote: »

I think the OP's post was quite clear that the coordinator was not available several weekends in a row, followed by saying that she doesn't work weekends or evenings. I can completely understand how someone would be making a fuss if they are not able to meet the person who's supposedly responsible for the wedding setup at the hotel. It would be highly unusual for someone who doesn't work weekends to be in charge organising events that predominantly happen on a weekend.
So I find it odd people are defending the coordinator with arguments such as, that she's entitled to a normal family life with 9-5 Mon-Fri hours.
It's like a wedding band saying they don't play after 5pm cos they wanna be with their family for evening dinner too. It may happen at some weddings, but would be rather unusual.

So what's wrong with the OP making an appointment for when the Coordinator IS available? Surely, it's not that difficult to make an appointment that's mutually convenient? Frankly, it's much ado about nothing. The OP's jumping up and down and getting themselves upset over nothing. If the venue doesn't meet the OP's requirements? Move on. Plenty of others who will accommodate her.

Gatica · 06-07-2014 6:38pm

ABajaninCork wrote: »

So what's wrong with the OP making an appointment for when the Coordinator IS available? Surely, it's not that difficult to make an appointment that's mutually convenient? Frankly, it's much ado about nothing. The OP's jumping up and down and getting themselves upset over nothing. If the venue doesn't meet the OP's requirements? Move on. Plenty of others who will accommodate her.

That I agree with. I'd move on from a venue that does not value its customers. Some people get their heart set on a venue though, so it's a tough one to reason

Addle · 06-07-2014 7:07pm

I have to wait for appointments to see my GP, my dentist, hairdresser; for a reservation at my favourite restaurant. When I do get them, it's at our mutual convenience, not just mine.

Why on earth you think a wedding coordinator would be any different is beyond me.

Gatica · 06-07-2014 7:53pm

The dentist and GP don't work jobs that require their services at weekends or evenings for standard visits (plus GPs are usually part of a group which provides emergency evening care for patients).
I never said the OP is entitled to an appointment that suits only her and not the coordinator. However, it doesn't come across that the coordinator has made any effort to accommodate weekend appointments, only this one evening appointment, which it seems is out of the ordinary for her / the hotel. That's odd. I'd run the the hills myself tbh, who takes care of the wedding on the day or suppliers on arrival at the hotel?

A2LUE42 · 06-07-2014 8:03pm

OP should check who would be their point of contact on the day. I have seen the aftermath of some of these 9-5on to Fri Wedding planners and Event planners. They have a habit of promising a lot of things that won't be delivered, and are nowhere to be found when it comes to light.

Mrs OBumble · 07-07-2014 12:10pm

amor3 wrote: »

as she doesn't work weekends and she would stay late one evening!

Is you wedding on the weekend?

If so, then email back and tell her that you would like to meet with the person who will actually be coordinating your wedding(*), and that you would like to do that on the same day of the week as the wedding itself.

That way she has to either admit that there will not be a coordinator present on the day day, or tell you who it really is.

(*) My evil self wants to add "not with their lazy receptionist", but I know that wouldn't help!

Or if your wedding is mid-week, then you might just have to us a 1/2 day AL.

And as for paying the deposit, there's this really cool thing called on-line banking .....

jlm29 · 07-07-2014 1:13pm

To be fair to the op, if she wants to haggle a bit, that needs to be done before paying her deposit. She therefore needs to meet someone with a bit of haggling power before paying her deposit. If she wants to secure her date, she needs to get that deposit paid.
When I was looking around at hotels- I had no trouble getting an appointment to meet a coordinater. They wanted my business, so they were obliging. I'd be wary of this whole situation op!

ABajaninCork · 07-07-2014 1:16pm

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Is you wedding on the weekend?

If so, then email back and tell her that you would like to meet with the person who will actually be coordinating your wedding(*), and that you would like to do that on the same day of the week as the wedding itself.

That way she has to either admit that there will not be a coordinator present on the day day, or tell you who it really is.

(*) My evil self wants to add "not with their lazy receptionist", but I know that wouldn't help!

Or if your wedding is mid-week, then you might just have to us a 1/2 day AL.

And as for paying the deposit, there's this really cool thing called on-line banking .....

Uh - not so cool if the venue runs into financial problems, which is possible. That's why I always used to tell clients to:

1. Take out wedding insurance. Doesn't cost a lot and could potentially save a LOT of heartache later.
2. NEVER EVER pay deposits in cash! Always use either a credit card or a Visa debit card. If there's a problem, then a chargeback can be initiated.

EDIT: To expand on my second point a little - Don't pay for the dress, venue or cars in cash. Use CC's or a Visa debit as mentioned. I've seen so many instances where there's been trouble (Bridal shop goes bust, cars not available, venue goes into receivership for example) and the poor couples left seriously stressed and out of pocket!

A2LUE42 · 07-07-2014 1:26pm

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Uh - not so cool if the venue runs into financial problems, which is possible. That's why I always used to tell clients to:

1. Take out wedding insurance. Doesn't cost a lot and could potentially save a LOT of heartache later.
2. NEVER EVER pay deposits in cash! Always use either a credit card or a Visa debit card. If there's a problem, then a chargeback can be initiated.

Not sure that you can do that..

Credit card - yes. Debit.. didn't think so.

ABajaninCork · 07-07-2014 1:29pm

A2LUE42 wrote: »

Not sure that you can do that..

Credit card - yes. Debit.. didn't think so.

Visa - Yes, you can! No other debit card offers chargeback AFAIK.

Mrs OBumble · 08-07-2014 9:58am

So if I trot somewhere and and pay by taking out the Visa Debit card which I've been given instead of a Laser card, then I'm covered by chargeback.

But if I sit at my online banking, and pay from the very same back account I'm not, simply because I didn't use my card.

Doesn't sound right.

Either way, the point for the OP is that paying by cash is sooo early 20th century, and not recommended.

ABajaninCork · 08-07-2014 10:19am

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

So if I trot somewhere and and pay by taking out the Visa Debit card which I've been given instead of a Laser card, then I'm covered by chargeback..

Yes.

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

But if I sit at my online banking, and pay from the very same back account I'm not, simply because I didn't use my card.

Doesn't sound right.

Either way, the point for the OP is that paying by cash is sooo early 20th century, and not recommended.

That's because the transaction will be treated as cash. Ask your bank!

Milly33 · 08-07-2014 11:57am

Interesting.... Yep I would say dealing with cards is much safer for come back rather than paying cash.. Any update on the wedding planner then OP.. Has things being running smoothly or are you at the same stage?

amor3 · 08-07-2014 9:41pm

Hi guys,

Yeah emailed her after reading some posts which mentioned the person dealing with their wedding was not in fact the coordinator.. emails as follows:

me:

Hi ......,

Hope you're function went well. Just from your last email am I right in thinking you are not the wedding Co ordinator? This is probably why it's been a bit of a mess to meet up. Who would be the person looking after our wedding, maybe it would be better to chat with them?

Thanks

Reply:

Yes I am one of two wedding co-coordinators however both of us work Monday to Friday from 9am-6pm weekly and I am the only one that takes appointments at the weekends, this is to accommodate Brides and Grooms that are only available at weekends. My sincere apologies but I had a family christening at the weekend.
But by all means if you wish to re schedule an appointment I will do my very best to accommodate you,

Kind Regards,

So will try again as I love the venue and I'd presume she would be there the day of the wedding.

Once again girls, thanks for advice/opinions.

Oh, not sure if it's ok to paste in the email so please delete moderator if needs be.

Milly33 · 08-07-2014 9:50pm

Well that sounds promising if anything hopefully ye will be able to arrange something. Just from glances though it does seem odd that they would have a co-ordinator that would not be available at the weekends as it seems it is a higher job to have that if the place wants to have a co-ordinator then they would pay the extra for them to accommodate everyone..But sure see best of luck with it hope it works well...

ABajaninCork · 08-07-2014 10:14pm

There you go, OP! Hopefully, you can get that appointment sorted and plain sailing from now on...

A2LUE42 · 09-07-2014 8:51am

amor3 wrote: »

Hi guys,

Yeah emailed her after reading some posts which mentioned the person dealing with their wedding was not in fact the coordinator.. emails as follows:

me:

Hi ......,

Hope you're function went well. Just from your last email am I right in thinking you are not the wedding Co ordinator? This is probably why it's been a bit of a mess to meet up. Who would be the person looking after our wedding, maybe it would be better to chat with them?

Thanks

Reply:

Yes I am one of two wedding co-coordinators however both of us work Monday to Friday from 9am-6pm weekly and I am the only one that takes appointments at the weekends, this is to accommodate Brides and Grooms that are only available at weekends. My sincere apologies but I had a family christening at the weekend.
But by all means if you wish to re schedule an appointment I will do my very best to accommodate you,

Kind Regards,

So will try again as I love the venue and I'd presume she would be there the day of the wedding.

Once again girls, thanks for advice/opinions.

Oh, not sure if it's ok to paste in the email so please delete moderator if needs be.

Hi OP,

The way you phrased that, you didn't actually get an answer to the question 'Who will be the point of contact on the day of the wedding?'

It seems like there are two people working Mon - Fri, but neither of them will be working and available on the day of the wedding if it is at a weekend.

If the wedding coordinator is not working the day of your wedding, I would want a meeting with both the coordinator and whoever will be the point of contact on the day. I would want to do a step by step walk-through of the day with both of them and to get any open queries answered by email, so you have a paper trail of sorts to reference, if anything doesn't match what you are being told.

Gatica · 09-07-2014 9:38am

amor3 wrote: »

So will try again as I love the venue and I'd presume she would be there the day of the wedding.

Never presume anything, be sure to ask and know who will be looking after your weekend wedding. It doesn't sound like they're there to actually coordinate on the day, but only just to meet up beforehand. Get this clarified with them to save yourself the headache later and give them the chance to do things right by you as well.

A2LUE42 · 09-07-2014 10:36am

Gatica wrote: »

Never presume anything, be sure to ask and know who will be looking after your weekend wedding. It doesn't sound like they're there to actually coordinate on the day, but only just to meet up beforehand. Get this clarified with them to save yourself the headache later and give them the chance to do things right by you as well.

'ask and know who will be looking after your weekend wedding'

This is a vague question also. The wedding coordinator can say that they are looking after the wedding.

You need to be very specific about who will actually be there on the day of the wedding.

Some quick thoughts..

1 Who will meet and greet the bride and groom on arrival? If you have paid for Champagne on arrival, is that what you are actually getting. Get the brand named at some point. If it is not Champagne, they cant call it Champagne.
2 Who will meet the person you have nominated to check over the room and verify that all the tables are set correctly. Does the room look like it should? Are all the place settings correct(not just the top table, which may be set with the cutlery, glassware and crockery you were shown) Do a count of settings to ensure it is correct etc. Are there enough salt/pepper on the tables? are the flowers/center pieces ok?
3 Who will be running/supervising the meal?
4 Who will be 'turning the room after the meal to prepare for the evening?
How long will it take.
Will you lose tables or where will tables be moved to?
Do your guests have to move to a different room while this is happening?
5 Who will be the point of contact for the evening?
6 Who will be the point of contact for the Evening/afters food and drink?
7 Who will be the contact after hours?
8 Bar times - what are they and what are the arrangements for guests staying over in the hotel?

When you view the room setup for a wedding, be sure to pick up a couple of wine glasses and hold them to the light to ensure they have been polished and mention a previous wedding you were at where the glasses had water marks on them and how terrible you think it looked. Take the rose tinted glasses off and try and find as many faults as possible. Every thing you find, is something that can be corrected for your wedding. Ask for the serving staff and supervisor to guest ratios. Ask how many staff will be assigned to each table. Anything else you can think of.. Be nice, no one likes an a$$hole, but be fussy.

Frigga_92 · 09-07-2014 11:26am

OP, I would second what everyone else has been saying that you need to be very specific in what you're asking and make sure you get very specific answers.

Unfortunately, I am speaking as the voice of experience.
The wedding coordinator, well the person who I had been corresponding with who told me she was the wedding coordinator, turned out to not be there at all on the day of our wedding (something we were never told) and as I was waiting to go into the room to be married (literally 10 minutes before the ceremony) I was approached by an events coordinator, someone I had never met or spoken to, who told me they would be looking after things for the day (they also didn't do a very good job). Just before we were getting married, literally 10 minutes beforehand, I was then thinking if this new person had all the info, knew what all the plans were etc etc and as I said before, we had a small, very chilled out wedding so I can't imagine the panic if I was someone who was having a huge occasion with a lot of things to organise wondering if everything had been looked after.

There were small cock-ups and big cock-ups, one of the small cock-ups was that as I was waiting to go into the room to be married one of the waitresses approached my sister and I with a tray holding 2 glasses of champagne which she offered to us, I was a bit confused by this, thought it was a bit strange to be getting champagne beforehand but thought nothing of it, my sister and I sipped the champagne together and then the ceremony took place.
When my husband and I came out of the ceremony ahead of our guests, there were a few members of staff hanging around and one of the waitresses said to me "oh we were supposed to give you that champagne after the ceremony" and there was just a load of faffing around with, who seemed to be very inexperienced staff members, trying to get 2 more glasses of champagne from the bar while we were getting kisses and hugs from our guests and the staff were faffing around getting in between people etc. During this the wedding coordinator, events coordinator, whatever coordinator was nowhere to be seen and I just felt the organisation started to fall down from there for the rest of the day with little gaps in the plans due to not having someone there, who we thought would be there, to keep an eye on things.
There were a good few other problems throughout the day and into the night and there was nobody that I could turn to to say "would you mind sorting this or that out?" These problems ranged from problems with the bar, problems with the food to problems with rooms and everytime something cropped up it was a different person I spoke to rather than just being able to go to the coordinator and say "would you mind sorting this out?" and everytime I spoke to someone I had to go looking for them, at no point was there someone who popped their head in just to make sure everything was going smoothly.

It was after the wedding when I made a complaint that I was told that the woman I had been corresponding with in relation to the wedding wasn't actually the wedding coordinator and that's why the problems had arisen and the complaint I made was not addressed in any other way.

I always thought that a wedding or event coordinator person would be just keeping an eye on things, making sure there's no wrinkles on the day and unfortunately we didn't have that so I would definitely recommend getting this sorted now.

wedding planning rant!!

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