wedding planning rant!!

amor3

Is it the norm or does your wedding planner/events organiser only work Monday to Friday 9 to 5?? I'm getting really frustrated with mine, been trying to meet up with her the last few weekends but she always had an excuse. Today is the first time she said, well emailed, to say can we come down some evening as she doesn't work weekends and she would stay late one evening! This really doesn't suit as we have 3 children and my partner works till 6 and doesn't get home till sometimes 7. It's an hours drive away. I really like the venue so I don't want to fall out before we even meet!

Faith

You'll need to work really closely with your wedding coordinator, so make sure you get on with her!

It came down to coordinators for us, choosing between two venues. One was really, really slow at replying to emails (several days) and when we met, talked a mile a minute about her health issues. The other was a consummate professional, and so nice and friendly. I just knew I'd be able to work with her better.

Addle

Why would you fall out with her?!
She may have the same family set up as you.
She has compromised and is willing to work late to suit you. You will have to compromise too.

amor3

Addle wrote: »

Why would you fall out with her?!
She may have the same family set up as you.
She has compromised and is willing to work late to suit you. You will have to compromise too.

I think people in that line of work should be flexible and work at least one weekend a month if not more. And I definitely will not be comprising anything. A lot of money is being spent, weddings are not cheap.

do you really even need a planner / organiser? if as you say "a lot of money is being spent" and "weddings are not cheap" why do you need to spend more money on hiring someone to do a job that you can pretty much do yourself for free.
I think you are coming across as a bit spoiled to be honest, as a previous poster stated, maybe she has the same constraints on her time as you do.

lazygal

Is this a hotel planner? What do you need to meet them to discuss? I think we met ours twice, once to book and a second time to confirm all the details. I emailed our menu choice after a tasting and about arrangements for the ceremony, drinks reception, drink as we supplied wine and logistics for the band. I figured they do events several times a week so were well used to what's necessary for things to run smoothly.

amor3

[Deleted User] wrote: »

do you really even need a planner / organiser? if as you say "a lot of money is being spent" and "weddings are not cheap" why do you need to spend more money on hiring someone to do a job that you can pretty much do yourself for free.
I think you are coming across as a bit spoiled to be honest, as a previous poster stated, maybe she has the same constraints on her time as you do.

I didn't hire anyone! She works in the hotel. She is the main person looking after every wedding booked in that particular venue!! It's a service that they (most hotels) are advertising/providing at the end of the day like every other wedding so if people are "constrained" in this sort of work environment them maybe they are in the wrong line of work.

Look anyway my original question to anyone who is in the process of planning their wedding, is your venue contact person only available Mon to Fri as I don't know if I should bring this up when we do meet as I said i don't want to start of on the wrong foot. Thanks..

pwurple

Is the excuse that there is a wedding on? Because an awful lot of weddings are weekends.

If she doesn't work weekends, and your wedding is on a weekend.... How does that work? The coordinator would usually be there to oversee things.

amor3

lazygal wrote: »

Is this a hotel planner? What do you need to meet them to discuss? I think we met ours twice, once to book and a second time to confirm all the details. I emailed our menu choice after a tasting and about arrangements for the ceremony, drinks reception, drink as we supplied wine and logistics for the band. I figured they do events several times a week so were well used to what's necessary for things


Yeah it is the hotel.. I'm trying to meet up with her just to pay the deposit. Feel like it's not real till then! When we provisionally booked it was with the overall manager so it's just been contact through emails since. As I'm sure like a lot of people getting married I'm quiet a novice at it and only plan to do it once, so wasn't sure how many times we would need to meet her and was getting frustrated thinking we would have to be taking time of work and arranging baby sitters. At this stage just the one meeting would do then everything can be done through phone/email 😊 thanks for that info.

lazygal

We met ours at weekends. But his brother's wedding happened to be on the same day as ours so his deputy covered our day. I found email better than face to face for negotiations and confirming everything as I had a written record of what was agreed.

amor3

pwurple wrote: »

Is the excuse that there is a wedding on? Because an awful lot of weddings are weekends.

If she doesn't work weekends, and your wedding is on a weekend.... How does that work? The coordinator would usually be there to oversee things.

No pwurple, she was away last weekend and has a family thing this weekend! And yes my wedding is on a Saturday 😯 surely she would have to be there, surely!!!!!

ABajaninCork

I met our co-ordinator only twice. Hell of a lot of e-mails though as I was organising from London. And OP - you'll find most co-ordinators aren't available at weekends, especially at this time of year. Guess why?

Can your partner not get an afternoon off to meet with her? That's what we had to do.

bee06

Do you actually need to meet her to pay the deposit? We just gave ours to reception and they gave us a receipt.

January

Our (amazing) co-ordinator left for pastures new a few months ago... I was devastated and still am. One of the reasons we booked with our venue was because of her. She was in weekly contact. We've heard form our new one twice. And both times they've been automated emails from Moposa

Really starting to doubt that our wedding will be perfect, I had no doubts about it with the other co-ordinator!

amor3

bee06 wrote: »

Do you actually need to meet her to pay the deposit? We just gave ours to reception and they gave us a receipt.

I don't really know to be honest! It was her that asked me to go down and last week's email she told me to pick a day that suited me and my partner and she would pop by, so I just presumed I would have to meet with her.

amor3

January wrote: »

Our (amazing) co-ordinator left for pastures new a few months ago... I was devastated and still am. One of the reasons we booked with our venue was because of her. She was in weekly contact. We've heard form our new one twice. And both times they've been automated emails from Moposa

Really starting to doubt that our wedding will be perfect, I had no doubts about it with the other co-ordinator!

Oh no! But yes one of the reasons I picked this venue was the overall manager that we met on the first day, a lovely man and even gave us our dinner on the house when he noticed we stayed on to have something to eat! I kinda wanted to meet this girl face to face, just to see if we gel. Suppose the down side of that is, what if we don't! I hope you get some sort of breakthrough with the new coordinator, I'm sure your big day will be perfect. Congrats!

Frigga_92

January wrote: »

Our (amazing) co-ordinator left for pastures new a few months ago... I was devastated and still am. One of the reasons we booked with our venue was because of her. She was in weekly contact. We've heard form our new one twice. And both times they've been automated emails from Moposa

Really starting to doubt that our wedding will be perfect, I had no doubts about it with the other co-ordinator!

Your wedding will be perfect because it'll be the day you get married.

The wedding planner that worked at our venue did very little, it was impossible to get in contact with her and she was invisible the day of the wedding and afterwards when we had a few complaints. I complained about her and was told she wasn't actually the wedding planner someone else was and that my belief that she was the wedding planner is what lead to problems :rolleyes:
Needless to say I haven't recommended the venue to anybody.
We had a small very chilled out wedding so I can't imagine what having problems with a wedding planner would be like if you were planning a big occasion.

Gatica

That sounds really unaccommodating of the wedding coordinator. We saw a dozen venues and it was all either on a Saturday or Sunday. Every one of the coordinators that we made appointments with was available to meet us on those days.
We met our coordinator on a Saturday and the manager was there too. We asked a few final question and haggled, and then got the contracts, read them over and paid the deposit. I would not have gone midweek to do that.
It's the nature of their job, with most weddings being on a weekend. If they can't even do that for customers that are trying to give them money, I honestly wouldn't have a very high opinion of the coordinator, manager or Hotel/venue. The rest of our communications were over email and that was fine.

amor3

Yes it is a weekend kinda job alright. And I wanted to meet to haggle as well. Maybe i'l ring and see if there is somebody else to deal with. As a previous poster said, she only found out after the wedding the person she thought was the coordinator actually wasn't!

Addle

If it's a weekend job, and you think coordinators should be available to you at the weekends, would you mind if your coordinator wasn't available on to you on your wedding day because they were meeting with another couple?

amor3

Addle wrote: »

If it's a weekend job, and you think coordinators should be available to you at the weekends, would you mind if your coordinator wasn't available on to you on your wedding day because they were meeting with another couple?

Do you think every hotel on every weekend has a wedding!!

Addle

amor3 wrote: »

Do you think every hotel on every weekend has a wedding!!

No. So I think 'co-ordinators' are entitled to weekends off when they can have them.

amor3

Addle wrote: »

No. So I think 'co-ordinators' are entitled to weekends off when they can have them.

Exactly "when" not every.

ABajaninCork

OP - You seem to be getting steamed up over something that could be resolved very easily. If the act of booking a venue has you upset this early in the process, then by the time you marry, you'll be heading for a nervous breakdown!

I suggested earlier that your partner could perhaps get a couple of hours or an afternoon off to visit and book. Did you try that? Someone else also suggested giving the deposit to Reception if the coordinator isn't available and getting a receipt. Did you try that?

January

Addle wrote: »

If it's a weekend job, and you think coordinators should be available to you at the weekends, would you mind if your coordinator wasn't available on to you on your wedding day because they were meeting with another couple?

I'd be very pee'd off actually because it would mean the wedding co-ordinator was showing some stranger around my wedding reception. If it were happening I'd expect the wedding co-ordinator to meet with the couple before my guests started arriving at the venue. There'd be no problem with that and it's actually what I did with my wedding co-ordinator so that we could see the venue dressed for a wedding.

lulu1

Stupid question but what dose this wedding planner actually do. Do they take care of all the arrangments hotel cake flowers wedding cars ect, and how much would they charge?

ABajaninCork

I've worked in Events. And I've run a lot of weddings in the course of my work. There has to be a bit of give and take on both sides I think. I organised my wedding from the UK, whilst helping to organise and run other weddings and events. Of course, my coordinator wasn't always available if I needed to speak to her, and she wasn't available when I flew in to finalise things. No problem. She had left precise instructions with her deputy and the Duty Manager assigned to run the day as she wasn't available. I met with them before the wedding and felt perfectly comfortable with both. The only thing I asked for was someone to run the day for me. I didn't want to be looking around for help if I needed it. The venue provided it in spades. The service was superb, and could not be faulted. THAT'S what the OP should be focusing on

IMO, the OP SHOULD meet with the coordinator to see if she'd be happy with the services provided and needs to feel confident the venue can deliver the day she wants. But to make such a fuss because the coordinator isn't available when SHE wants her to be is way over the top!

ABajaninCork

lulu1 wrote: »

Stupid question but what dose this wedding planner actually do. Do they take care of all the arrangments hotel cake flowers wedding cars ect, and how much would they charge?

Yes, they do. The charge will be included in the cost of the venue.

stargazer 68

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Yes, they do. The charge will be included in the cost of the venue.

Surely that's only if you are taking the hotels package. If you aren't then flowers, cars, photographer are organised by you. Hotel planner just deals with the hotel.

ABajaninCork

Dovies wrote: »

Surely that's only if you are taking the hotels package. If you aren't then flowers, cars, photographer are organised by you. Hotel planner just deals with the hotel.

No. Read my post again. The charge is included in the cost of hiring the venue.

pwurple

lulu1 wrote: »

Stupid question but what dose this wedding planner actually do. Do they take care of all the arrangments hotel cake flowers wedding cars ect, and how much would they charge?

The hotel wedding planner is in charge on the day and makes sure your instructions are followed. So they would make sure any welcome drinks are served, show the band or dj where to set up. Show the cake delivery where to go. Make sure if you wanted your wedding cake served as dessert, that it actually happens. Keep and eye out for things like a table not getting any food yet, or starting to look disgruntled. Show the florist where the tables are going... Let the couple know if they are running out of white wine, and they need to switch to hotel wine instead of the stuff they brought. Etc, etc, etc.

Most wedding coordinators meet couples the mornings of other weddings, so they can see the set up.

Gatica

ABajaninCork wrote: »

But to make such a fuss because the coordinator isn't available when SHE wants her to be is way over the top!

I think the OP's post was quite clear that the coordinator was not available several weekends in a row, followed by saying that she doesn't work weekends or evenings. I can completely understand how someone would be making a fuss if they are not able to meet the person who's supposedly responsible for the wedding setup at the hotel. It would be highly unusual for someone who doesn't work weekends to be in charge organising events that predominantly happen on a weekend.
So I find it odd people are defending the coordinator with arguments such as, that she's entitled to a normal family life with 9-5 Mon-Fri hours.
It's like a wedding band saying they don't play after 5pm cos they wanna be with their family for evening dinner too. It may happen at some weddings, but would be rather unusual.

ABajaninCork

Gatica wrote: »

I think the OP's post was quite clear that the coordinator was not available several weekends in a row, followed by saying that she doesn't work weekends or evenings. I can completely understand how someone would be making a fuss if they are not able to meet the person who's supposedly responsible for the wedding setup at the hotel. It would be highly unusual for someone who doesn't work weekends to be in charge organising events that predominantly happen on a weekend.
So I find it odd people are defending the coordinator with arguments such as, that she's entitled to a normal family life with 9-5 Mon-Fri hours.
It's like a wedding band saying they don't play after 5pm cos they wanna be with their family for evening dinner too. It may happen at some weddings, but would be rather unusual.

So what's wrong with the OP making an appointment for when the Coordinator IS available? Surely, it's not that difficult to make an appointment that's mutually convenient? Frankly, it's much ado about nothing. The OP's jumping up and down and getting themselves upset over nothing. If the venue doesn't meet the OP's requirements? Move on. Plenty of others who will accommodate her.

Gatica

ABajaninCork wrote: »

So what's wrong with the OP making an appointment for when the Coordinator IS available? Surely, it's not that difficult to make an appointment that's mutually convenient? Frankly, it's much ado about nothing. The OP's jumping up and down and getting themselves upset over nothing. If the venue doesn't meet the OP's requirements? Move on. Plenty of others who will accommodate her.

That I agree with. I'd move on from a venue that does not value its customers. Some people get their heart set on a venue though, so it's a tough one to reason

Addle

I have to wait for appointments to see my GP, my dentist, hairdresser; for a reservation at my favourite restaurant. When I do get them, it's at our mutual convenience, not just mine.

Why on earth you think a wedding coordinator would be any different is beyond me.

Gatica

The dentist and GP don't work jobs that require their services at weekends or evenings for standard visits (plus GPs are usually part of a group which provides emergency evening care for patients).
I never said the OP is entitled to an appointment that suits only her and not the coordinator. However, it doesn't come across that the coordinator has made any effort to accommodate weekend appointments, only this one evening appointment, which it seems is out of the ordinary for her / the hotel. That's odd. I'd run the the hills myself tbh, who takes care of the wedding on the day or suppliers on arrival at the hotel?

A2LUE42

OP should check who would be their point of contact on the day. I have seen the aftermath of some of these 9-5on to Fri Wedding planners and Event planners. They have a habit of promising a lot of things that won't be delivered, and are nowhere to be found when it comes to light.

Mrs OBumble

amor3 wrote: »

as she doesn't work weekends and she would stay late one evening!

Is you wedding on the weekend?

If so, then email back and tell her that you would like to meet with the person who will actually be coordinating your wedding(*), and that you would like to do that on the same day of the week as the wedding itself.

That way she has to either admit that there will not be a coordinator present on the day day, or tell you who it really is.

(*) My evil self wants to add "not with their lazy receptionist", but I know that wouldn't help!


Or if your wedding is mid-week, then you might just have to us a 1/2 day AL.


And as for paying the deposit, there's this really cool thing called on-line banking .....

jlm29

To be fair to the op, if she wants to haggle a bit, that needs to be done before paying her deposit. She therefore needs to meet someone with a bit of haggling power before paying her deposit. If she wants to secure her date, she needs to get that deposit paid.
When I was looking around at hotels- I had no trouble getting an appointment to meet a coordinater. They wanted my business, so they were obliging. I'd be wary of this whole situation op!

ABajaninCork

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Is you wedding on the weekend?

If so, then email back and tell her that you would like to meet with the person who will actually be coordinating your wedding(*), and that you would like to do that on the same day of the week as the wedding itself.

That way she has to either admit that there will not be a coordinator present on the day day, or tell you who it really is.

(*) My evil self wants to add "not with their lazy receptionist", but I know that wouldn't help!


Or if your wedding is mid-week, then you might just have to us a 1/2 day AL.


And as for paying the deposit, there's this really cool thing called on-line banking .....

Uh - not so cool if the venue runs into financial problems, which is possible. That's why I always used to tell clients to:

1. Take out wedding insurance. Doesn't cost a lot and could potentially save a LOT of heartache later.
2. NEVER EVER pay deposits in cash! Always use either a credit card or a Visa debit card. If there's a problem, then a chargeback can be initiated.

EDIT: To expand on my second point a little - Don't pay for the dress, venue or cars in cash. Use CC's or a Visa debit as mentioned. I've seen so many instances where there's been trouble (Bridal shop goes bust, cars not available, venue goes into receivership for example) and the poor couples left seriously stressed and out of pocket!

A2LUE42

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Uh - not so cool if the venue runs into financial problems, which is possible. That's why I always used to tell clients to:

1. Take out wedding insurance. Doesn't cost a lot and could potentially save a LOT of heartache later.
2. NEVER EVER pay deposits in cash! Always use either a credit card or a Visa debit card. If there's a problem, then a chargeback can be initiated.

Not sure that you can do that..

Credit card - yes. Debit.. didn't think so.

ABajaninCork

A2LUE42 wrote: »

Not sure that you can do that..

Credit card - yes. Debit.. didn't think so.

Visa - Yes, you can! No other debit card offers chargeback AFAIK.

Mrs OBumble

So if I trot somewhere and and pay by taking out the Visa Debit card which I've been given instead of a Laser card, then I'm covered by chargeback.

But if I sit at my online banking, and pay from the very same back account I'm not, simply because I didn't use my card.

Doesn't sound right.




Either way, the point for the OP is that paying by cash is sooo early 20th century, and not recommended.

ABajaninCork

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

So if I trot somewhere and and pay by taking out the Visa Debit card which I've been given instead of a Laser card, then I'm covered by chargeback..

Yes.

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

But if I sit at my online banking, and pay from the very same back account I'm not, simply because I didn't use my card.

Doesn't sound right.






Either way, the point for the OP is that paying by cash is sooo early 20th century, and not recommended.

That's because the transaction will be treated as cash. Ask your bank!

Milly33

Interesting.... Yep I would say dealing with cards is much safer for come back rather than paying cash.. Any update on the wedding planner then OP.. Has things being running smoothly or are you at the same stage?

amor3

Hi guys,

Yeah emailed her after reading some posts which mentioned the person dealing with their wedding was not in fact the coordinator.. emails as follows:

me:


Hi ......, 

Hope you're function went well. Just from your last email am I right in thinking you are not the wedding Co ordinator? This is probably why it's been a bit of a mess to meet up. Who would be the person looking after our wedding, maybe it would be better to chat with them? 


Thanks 


Reply:

Yes I am one of two wedding co-coordinators however both of us work Monday to Friday from 9am-6pm weekly and I am the only one that takes appointments at the weekends, this is to accommodate Brides and Grooms that are only available at weekends. My sincere apologies but I had a family christening at the weekend. 
But by all means if you wish to re schedule an appointment I will do my very best to accommodate you, 

Kind Regards, 


So will try again as I love the venue and I'd presume she would be there the day of the wedding.

Once again girls, thanks for advice/opinions.

Oh, not sure if it's ok to paste in the email so please delete moderator if needs be.

Milly33

Well that sounds promising if anything hopefully ye will be able to arrange something. Just from glances though it does seem odd that they would have a co-ordinator that would not be available at the weekends as it seems it is a higher job to have that if the place wants to have a co-ordinator then they would pay the extra for them to accommodate everyone..But sure see best of luck with it hope it works well...

ABajaninCork

There you go, OP! Hopefully, you can get that appointment sorted and plain sailing from now on...

A2LUE42

amor3 wrote: »

Hi guys,

Yeah emailed her after reading some posts which mentioned the person dealing with their wedding was not in fact the coordinator.. emails as follows:

me:


Hi ......, 

Hope you're function went well. Just from your last email am I right in thinking you are not the wedding Co ordinator? This is probably why it's been a bit of a mess to meet up. Who would be the person looking after our wedding, maybe it would be better to chat with them? 


Thanks 


Reply:

Yes I am one of two wedding co-coordinators however both of us work Monday to Friday from 9am-6pm weekly and I am the only one that takes appointments at the weekends, this is to accommodate Brides and Grooms that are only available at weekends. My sincere apologies but I had a family christening at the weekend. 
But by all means if you wish to re schedule an appointment I will do my very best to accommodate you, 

Kind Regards, 


So will try again as I love the venue and I'd presume she would be there the day of the wedding.

Once again girls, thanks for advice/opinions.

Oh, not sure if it's ok to paste in the email so please delete moderator if needs be.

Hi OP,

The way you phrased that, you didn't actually get an answer to the question 'Who will be the point of contact on the day of the wedding?'

It seems like there are two people working Mon - Fri, but neither of them will be working and available on the day of the wedding if it is at a weekend.

If the wedding coordinator is not working the day of your wedding, I would want a meeting with both the coordinator and whoever will be the point of contact on the day. I would want to do a step by step walk-through of the day with both of them and to get any open queries answered by email, so you have a paper trail of sorts to reference, if anything doesn't match what you are being told.

Gatica

amor3 wrote: »

So will try again as I love the venue and I'd presume she would be there the day of the wedding.

Never presume anything, be sure to ask and know who will be looking after your weekend wedding. It doesn't sound like they're there to actually coordinate on the day, but only just to meet up beforehand. Get this clarified with them to save yourself the headache later and give them the chance to do things right by you as well.

A2LUE42

Gatica wrote: »

Never presume anything, be sure to ask and know who will be looking after your weekend wedding. It doesn't sound like they're there to actually coordinate on the day, but only just to meet up beforehand. Get this clarified with them to save yourself the headache later and give them the chance to do things right by you as well.

'ask and know who will be looking after your weekend wedding'

This is a vague question also. The wedding coordinator can say that they are looking after the wedding.

You need to be very specific about who will actually be there on the day of the wedding.

Some quick thoughts..

1 Who will meet and greet the bride and groom on arrival? If you have paid for Champagne on arrival, is that what you are actually getting. Get the brand named at some point. If it is not Champagne, they cant call it Champagne.
2 Who will meet the person you have nominated to check over the room and verify that all the tables are set correctly. Does the room look like it should? Are all the place settings correct(not just the top table, which may be set with the cutlery, glassware and crockery you were shown) Do a count of settings to ensure it is correct etc. Are there enough salt/pepper on the tables? are the flowers/center pieces ok?
3 Who will be running/supervising the meal?
4 Who will be 'turning the room after the meal to prepare for the evening?
How long will it take.
Will you lose tables or where will tables be moved to?
Do your guests have to move to a different room while this is happening?
5 Who will be the point of contact for the evening?
6 Who will be the point of contact for the Evening/afters food and drink?
7 Who will be the contact after hours?
8 Bar times - what are they and what are the arrangements for guests staying over in the hotel?

When you view the room setup for a wedding, be sure to pick up a couple of wine glasses and hold them to the light to ensure they have been polished and mention a previous wedding you were at where the glasses had water marks on them and how terrible you think it looked. Take the rose tinted glasses off and try and find as many faults as possible. Every thing you find, is something that can be corrected for your wedding. Ask for the serving staff and supervisor to guest ratios. Ask how many staff will be assigned to each table. Anything else you can think of.. Be nice, no one likes an a$$hole, but be fussy.