Disturbing things you did as a child?

Vito Corleone

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ToddyDoody

Wanked the bouncy castle

uch

We used to stick Mr. Freeze's up our arsés and see who could shoot them the farthest

Slicemeister

Maybe you had enough of those "what's black and white and red all over" jokes.

nerobert

uch wrote: »

We used to stick Mr. Freeze's up our arsés and see who could shoot them the farthest

😂😂😂😂

stimpson

I cut the wires for the brake lights on a neighbours hiace. It seemed a reasonable thing to do at the time as they were cúnts. I was surprised everyone made such a big deal of it. Apparently "someone could have been killed".

Arthur Beesley

uch wrote: »

We used to stick Mr. Freeze's up our arsés and see who could shoot them the farthest

And would you consume them afterwards?

Fox_In_Socks

uch wrote: »

We used to stick Mr. Freeze's up our arsés and see who could shoot them the farthest

Ah yerra, those were simpler times!:pac:


Breaking rocks with other rocks. I don't know how I wasn't blinded. A couple of times, a shard hit my eye.

I was looking for fossils (or so I told myself)

riaganach

I spent a happy couple of hours one afternoon focussing sunlight on ants using a magnifying glass until they melted. Yikes! The hiss when they went up in smoke still disturbs me!!!!

Adena

Me and my sister (ages 6 and 5, respectively, at the time) climbed through our neighbour's window while they were away for a weekend and ate all of their ice creams. In our defence, we never had sweets or anything when we were kids (I know- boo hoo hoo!) and the neighbours had told us we could have ice cream from their house anytime.

Who leaves their window open on a council estate anyway?

The did forgives us, after our mum had given us a good hard smack and grounded us for I don't know how long.....

Buzz Killington the third

Used to tell the priests in confession I school that I liked to kill animals and other such stuff just to freak them out.

Adena

As an atheist it's easy for me to like that one.

josip

Used to take out the lightbulb from the bedside lamp and stick my fingers into the socket for the kick in the wrist

B0jangles

I ate a shítload of matchheads when I was a kid - burned and unburned, they were both delicious in their own way. I'm nearly tempted to eat one now to see if they taste as good as they did in the rare aul times.

Sunnyisland

josip wrote: »

Used to take out the lightbulb from the bedside lamp and stick my fingers into the socket for the kick in the wrist

That's shocking ...

Mrs Garth Brooks

Buzz Killington the third wrote: »

Used to tell the priests in confession I school that I liked to kill animals and other such stuff just to freak them out.

Didn't everyone lie in confession cause you had no sins? ...I cursed, kicked people, stole things

The most I ever did was throw in random stuff into other people's trollies while shopping with my mother.

Mickey H

realies wrote: »

That's shocking ...

Literally...

B0jangles

Oh yeah, me and my brother tied my babydoll to the end of a line from a fishing rod and put it out one window so that it would float along and tap up against our little brother's bedroom window like that scene from Salem's Lot.

That was pretty goddamn funny.

whupdedo

I hate to say it but our cat had kittens and I got the kittens and drowned them, because that's what I saw my old man (the dickhead) do when she had kittens before, I was about 8 or 9 and I was gutted for a long time after., and sometimes I think about them even now the poor little things

Mrs Garth Brooks

whupdedo wrote: »

I hate to say it but our cat had kittens and I got the kittens and drowned them, because that's what I saw my old man (the dickhead) do when she had kittens before, I was about 8 or 9 and I was gutted for a long time after., and sometimes I think about them even now the poor little things

Do you know what you are?

josip

whupdedo wrote: »

I hate to say it but our cat had kittens and I got the kittens and drowned them, because that's what I saw my old man (the dickhead) do when she had kittens before, I was about 8 or 9 and I was gutted for a long time after., and sometimes I think about them even now the poor little things

If their eyes hadn't opened it's painless.
According to my grandmother, the kitten culler of Kilkenny

dmc17

josip wrote: »

If their eyes hadn't opened it's painless.
According to my grandmother, the kitten culler of Kilkenny

Yeah. Nothing worse than getting water in your eyes.

whupdedo

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

Do you know what you are?

A pussy killer

Sunnyisland

whupdedo wrote: »

A pussy killer

Cat wo man

wretcheddomain

Participated in a mental slave event more popularly known as Communion where a filthy old man forces a piece of bland bread into your mouth; he then orders you to read from a book you've no interest in nor have the foggiest idea what its talking about.

Buzz Killington the third

A friend rented bambi on VHS for his little sister when we were about 13. Later that night we fast forward the film around 40 minutes, put tape over the bottom of the VHS and recorded the playboy 10 minute teaser on it. Rewound it the next day, dropped it back and never heard a word about it.

lukesmom

Took a **** in the toaster and turned it on.

Mrs Garth Brooks

whupdedo wrote: »

A pussy killer

Could have called you much worse, but I wont. It seems as if you were only copying your dad but thats not ok.

Ok im the crazy cat lady.

The Pheasant2

My cousins and I would collect small crabs at the beach, jam em into bottles with salt water and bacon for food, close the lid and put the bottle back in the sea so they could have a nice voyage on the 7 seas.

josip

dmc17 wrote: »

Yeah. Nothing worse than getting water in your eyes.

Aggghh!! My eyes!!!

Sulla Felix

Psychologically tortured my younger brother. One I remember was hanging him up on a coat hook by his belt loops in the utility room and turning the lights out. Or turning off the power at the fuse box and chasing him around a dark house. We lived in the country so when there were no lights it was pitch black. He's 23 and pretty sure the dark still makes him nervous.

GalwayGuy2

Anybody else used to set small, tiny, fires?

Popcorn packets.

Sulla Felix

GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

Anybody else used to set small, tiny, fires?

Popcorn packets.

Damn, forgot about that. Started out setting small tiny fires. Favourite was spelling my name in lighter fluid and then lighting it.
Stopped playing with fire when I managed to burn down 4 trees that were in a corner of the garden.

GalwayGuy2

Honestly, it makes me very, very doubtful about those serial killer signs you always hear about.

Lighting a fire :rolleyes:

wexie

Sulla Felix wrote: »

Damn, forgot about that. Started out setting small tiny fires. Favourite was spelling my name in lighter fluid and then lighting it.
Stopped playing with fire when I managed to burn down 4 trees that were in a corner of the garden.

I once set fire to the garage......because I was making a siege weapon and firing cigars soaked in white spirits.

Bloody miracle I lived this long

frag420

Myself, my brother and a few of the neighbour kids shovelled all the dirt from the brain gutter outside our house and completely repainted the front of the neighbours house! She was an old bat back then!! We also made crossbows and put needles on the end and shot birds of the wires around our street

Yogosan

I once put bread in a mouse trapped and crows would fly down to get it. I don't think I need to explain the rest.

Found a dead rabbit once and decided to pluck out its eye with a kitchen knife, then took it apart to see what it was made of.

I used to fit in an old suitcase when I was very young, so one day my brother and I thought it would be fun to throw me down the stairs inside it. It was very fun.

Me and my friends used lollipop sticks to hide doggy-doo under car door handles at the bingo hall. Would wait in the trees till bingo was over for the fun to begin.

That's all I can remember, there was definitely alot more.

Tail Docker

Our "finest" moment was burning a well known south Dublin wateringhole to the ground because one of us wanted to see if crisp packets could burn..the top of a pile of compacted waste-paper probably wasn't the sharpest place to choose for the experiment(statute of limitations has feckin got to have run out on that one..hopefully). I was more of an observer in this fine scientific experiment.

Throwing a straightened coat-hanger with a hook bent into the end up and onto the power lines used to produce a beautiful shower of sparks and turn off the leccy for an entire street, oh how they loved us...

Or, thinking it hilarious to kick the chair out from under the birthday boy as he proudly stood up there listening to everyone sing "Happy Birthday". The broken arm he got took the shine off it..so did his Ma's wrath..

Apart from that, I do believe there was no more prolific shoplifting crew ever to grace these shores..the lads in "Heat" had nothing on us as 9 year olds...

GalwayGuy2

Eh, not so sure it's wise to post felonies online.

Tail Docker

GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

Eh, not so sure it's wise to post felonies online.

It's ok if your mate Paul was the one with the matches..and he was 12..

retro:electro

I used to chase my little sister around the house with a hot poker from the fire. I also used to rip all her posters off her wall on a regular basis for no reason. I was also meant to wait for her after school and walk home together but I used to always leave her behind on purpose and run home, she'd come in the door balling crying about half an hour later. We are the best of friends now though!
I also used to love eating bisto cubes, sure we were pure deprived!

Voodoomelon

My mother kept her red Barbie convertible since she was a child, see here.

Big ass yoke, about a foot and a half long. I thought it would be great to build a paper folding roof for it. And set it on fire.

Que my mother walking into the room as she watches her car rolling across the floor in flames. Her face was a picture, sheer horror. She started screaming and houling, i'll never forget it. We used to get the odd slap and wooden spoon from her the odd time, but by jesus she kicked my arse down the hallway.

Fat Christy

I used to scrape ice from the sides of the freezer and eat it. I also used to suck the water from damp face cloths......

I did the above on a regular basis as a kid...thankfully I grew out of doing both.

wretcheddomain

Fat Christy wrote: »

I used to scrape ice from the sides of the freezer and eat it. I also used to suck the water from damp face cloths......

I did the above on a regular basis as a kid...thankfully I grew out of doing both.

Are you sure, judging from the username...

Fat Christy

wretcheddomain wrote: »

Are you sure, judging from the username...

Oohhhh wretched! Strike number 2, bring my username into it again and I'll no option but to resort to fisty cuffs! :mad: :pac:

Tail Docker

Fat Christy wrote: »

Oohhhh wretched! Strike number 2, bring my username into it again and I'll no option but to resort to fisty cuffs! :mad: :pac:

There's no fisting allowed in AH. Just saying like.

PizzamanIRL

Dropped my pet hamster from the top bunk.

Ate sausages raw. They were lovely. Never got sick.

Ate the meat from cat food tins once or twice.

Coloured my willy with a marker and I was told it would fall off. The horror.

Pulled the eyes from snails if I could ever grab them.

wexie

Fat Christy wrote: »

Oohhhh wretched! Strike number 2, bring my username into it again and I'll no option but to resort to fisty cuffs! :mad: :pac:

You could strike him with a wet face cloth.....ah actually never mind.

buckwheat

Friend kidnapped the baby Jesus from the school crib and left a ransom note. Threatened to send his fingers one at a time

Red Nissan

Vito Corleone wrote: »

For me, one of them would be when I was about eleven. It was the whole sexual awakening stage of my life. I was very horny and decided to push my penis up against the window of my house. The cold feeling of the window must have given my eleven year old penis a great deal of pleasure. What was I thinking? Hopefully nobody saw.

You've a jump start on me. I was 14 am approached by a bum who asked about the white stuff ~ WHAT ~ pushed him away and got my bus home from school.

However, the seed was planted, I experimented and actually thought I had literally pulled my little man of and he was detached. I lay frozen for ages and the 'white stuff' was seeping into the bed.

Much later that same bum accosted me as I left a bar, I'd have been maybe 19 now, so I recognized him and led him on and gave him a beating, he was never seen around bus stops after that.

B0jangles

Voodoomelon wrote: »

My mother kept her red Barbie convertible since she was a child, see here.

Big ass yoke, about a foot and a half long. I thought it would be great to build a paper folding roof for it. And set it on fire.

Que my mother walking into the room as she watches her car rolling across the floor in flames. Her face was a picture, sheer horror. She started screaming and houling, i'll never forget it. We used to get the odd slap and wooden spoon from her the odd time, but by jesus she kicked my arse down the hallway.

You just reminded me of another thing - my Mum is a very forthright and unfrightenable person normally, but one thing we did frightened her to fecking bits.

My brother built a sort of scarecrow out of old clothes and put it on a chair in a dark corner of the upper landing - it had a face made out of a sheet of paper with black eyes and a wide, hollow smiling mouth. We called it "Chairy McClary", like the kids character "Hairy McClary". Only it was very nasty and probably murderous.
Anyway, she was so evil-looking that none of us was brave enough to come out of the bedroom to take her to pieces after she was put in place, so my Mum eventually heard us bellowing in fright and came bombing up the stairs to punish the criminals.

I vividly remember the sound of her thumping up the first flight of stairs threatening all kinds of wooden-spoon-related punishment, and then turning the corner and coming halfway up the second flight, seeing Chairy McClary grinning from her corner and then retreating squeaking hysterically to the bottom of the stairs I think she said "Jesus Christ, What the fúck is that fúcking thing!?" , and this was at a time when using language of any kind in front of the children was something that they just did. not. do.