Taxi driver using outside my house as his resting spot

megapixel

Two to three times a week a taxi driver that lives in my estate pulls up outside my house and has a few fags and phone conversations(with the window open). Im a really light sleeper so he usually wakes me up.
Do i have any rights to go tell him to feck off?

Just seen him get out of the car still on his headpicece chatting away and start urinating at the other side of the car.

Sir Arthur Daley

Do you possess a fire arm op?

He pays his road licence so he's entitled to park anywhere it's legal. He's not entitled to pee in public, but he has no work loo so I have some sympathy, but he should be much more careful not to be seen. If he's waking you up, he might keep it down if you ask him nicely, or keep the window closed while he's on the phone.

megapixel

No, i wish I did.

Bongalongherb

He's taking the piss. You might want to talk to him.

megapixel

Candie wrote: »

He pays his road licence so he's entitled to park anywhere it's legal. He's not entitled to pee in public, but he has no work loo so I have some sympathy, but he should be much more careful not to be seen. If he's waking you up, he might keep it down if you ask him nicely, or keep the window closed while he's on the phone.

He has just left outside my house driven around the green and gone into his own house. :eek:

Ruu

Put in a meter or no resting/parking sign or park your vehicle there.

full_irish

As soon as he pulls up acting the bóllocks, take the following steps

1) Call his taxi company
2) Order a for taxi to an address in the vicinity (so he ends up getting the job)
3) Turn off phone so that they can't ring back to wake you up
4) Smile as you get to go back to bed and he gets his time wasted.

Bonus points if you send him to someones house who is likely to get pissed off and perhaps shoot him.

This may require a large quantity of sim cards that you can 'burn' every time they company block your number

Tail Docker

Pay a few local kids to throw stones at him. He'll soon park elsewhere. €20.00 ought to sort it.

megapixel

megapixel wrote: »

He has just left outside my house driven around the green and gone into his own house. :eek:

Ah, this paints a different picture.

He's on the phone to the mistress before he goes in to the wife.

Chucken

megapixel wrote: »

He has just left outside my house driven around the green and gone into his own house. :eek:

I know whats going on here!
He's having an affair. Chats to yer one outside your house then heads in home.

It's obvious.

lulu1

Candie wrote: »

He pays his road licence so he's entitled to park anywhere it's legal. He's not entitled to pee in public, but he has no work loo so I have some sympathy, but he should be much more careful not to be seen. If he's waking you up, he might keep it down if you ask him nicely, or keep the window closed while he's on the phone.

If he lives on the estate why cant he park outside his own house and smoke his fag and do you know what

Chucken

Ah Candie We're not a bit suspicious :pac:

Sir Arthur Daley

So he is your neighbour all along or is it a call girl he is visiting? would explain the urination.

_Whimsical_

Next time you see him in the shop or pub etc make some loud joke about how you know he's having an affair because he's outside your house chatting on the phone till all hours.
He probably is having one too, who else would you be chatting to every night at that hour.

The very suggestion or the fact that he'll think you're a nosy gossipy so and so will keep him away from your house I'd say.

BorneTobyWilde

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/3446894/banana-in-the-tailpipe-o.gif

lulu1

Tail Docker wrote: »

Pay a few local kids to throw stones at him. He'll soon park elsewhere. €20.00 ought to sort it.

IF this fails slash his tyres

lulu1

lulu1 wrote: »

If he lives on the estate why cant he park outside his own house and smoke his fag and do you know what

Me and Chucken cracked the case like we're the mutant love children of Sherlock Holmes and Miss Marple.

Great minds Chuck, great minds.

Frosty McSnowballs

Maybe he's having an affair

megapixel

Hes a neighbour, but i work long hours and do not know anyone in the estate except the adjoining houses.

Not sure how to start the conversation.. Ive had images of me running out in my dressing gown like a mad woman telling him to feck off etc

Chucken

Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »

Maybe he's having an affair

Wish I'd thought of that.

Lucifer MorningStar

Get his number and prank him :pac:

Frosty McSnowballs

Chucken wrote: »

Wish I'd thought of that.

You had your chance!

Chucken

megapixel wrote: »

Hes a neighbour, but i work long hours and do not know anyone in the estate except the adjoining houses.

Not sure how to start the conversation.. Ive had images of me running out in my dressing gown like a mad woman telling him to feck off etc

Well now that we've established he's having an affair, what you need to do is eavesdrop on his chats.

_Whimsical_

megapixel wrote: »

Hes a neighbour, but i work long hours and do not know anyone in the estate except the adjoining houses.

Not sure how to start the conversation.. Ive had images of me running out in my dressing gown like a mad woman telling him to feck off etc

Go to the front door and shout "She must be some woman to get ya on the phone every night like this , does your wife know???"... big smile and a haha.

He'll think you're a nosy cow and you'll never see him again.

Chucken

Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »

You had your chance!

:eek::o

megapixel

I have cctv cameras, i'll upgrade them so i can record his phone calls and blackmail him.:rolleyes:

_Whimsical_

Or alternatively, walk out some night and politely explain and he'll probably stop parking there. He might think you're a bit weird but you'll be sleeping through the night so you won't care what random taxi man thinks.

Sir Arthur Daley

megapixel wrote: »

I have cctv cameras, i'll upgrade them so i can record his phone calls and blackmail him.:rolleyes:

Have you a sign up saying you have cctv?

old_aussie

Get in the taxi, and give him his own address to be driven to.

Check the look on his face.

Tokarev

Here that's my taxi, fkcu off the lot of you.

Unless someone is going somewhere? .

Chucken

megapixel wrote: »

I have cctv cameras, i'll upgrade them so i can record his phone calls and blackmail him.:rolleyes:

Ah no need for that.




Just go stand in the garden and listen.

lulu1

Get someone to park an old banger in front of his drive way and block him in

old_aussie

Look his home number up in the phonebook.

Then when he's outside,

put on your sexiest voice and phone his home number and ask for him, with something like...hi sweetie, I'm waiting.

efb

This is like AH Soap...

Sir Arthur Daley

I would buy a super soaker, fill it with stale piss and blast him with it when he urinates, get a gang together more super soakers the better. urinating in an estate is disgusting.

TheBegotten

Leave a note outside saying you're a light sleeper (add some crap about the window not shutting properly if you want) and would prefer if he didn't stop outside your house. Maybe leave a Mars bar to soften the blow if he's the grouchy type.

megapixel

Thanks for all the advise

shruikan2553

Watch him and make sure he sees you. Extra points for binoculars. He'll feel uncomfortable and move elsewhere.

The other option is stand outside his house and do what he does.

lulu1

TheBegotten wrote: »

Leave a note outside saying you're a light sleeper (add some crap about the window not shutting properly if you want) and would prefer if he didn't stop outside your house. Maybe leave a Mars bar to soften the blow if he's the grouchy type.

Give him no mars bar or he will expect one every day

popolive

cut out the letters from a newspaper arrange them to say ''I kNoW eVeRyThInG'' , get some Pritt Stick and glue them together ''ransom note'' style and mail it to him

TheBegotten

lulu1 wrote: »

Give him no mars bar or he will expect one every day

Now that I think about it, you might make him associate waking you up with Mars bars. Next thing you know, six weeks later he's throwing bricks through your window every night to get his sweets and you're pauperised from having to spend your wages on chocolate and window repairs.

The Diabolical Monocle

Piss and slashed tyres aside. Point ur own car lights at him full beam.

Jester252

Sh!t in the air filter.

Diabhal Beag

Fly a massive Nigerian flag outside your place if he's an Irish taxi driver. I don't need to tell you why it will work, it just will.

Lapin

Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »

Maybe he's having an affair

Or maybe his wife is.

partay pooper

Maybe he's have an affair with whoever lives in the house across the green? He was ringing to get the all clear?

Tail Docker

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

I would buy a super soaker, fill it with stale piss and blast him with it when he urinates, get a gang together more super soakers the better. urinating in an estate is disgusting.

Very true, totally taking the Pi55.

Maphisto

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

So he is your neighbour all along or is it a call girl he is visiting? would explain the urination.

Call girls don't have lavatories?

He's not into urolagnia?

CarrickMcJoe

When he throws out his cigarette butt, run out and throw it back in preferably on the back seat.

umop.episdn

Just wait until the next time he does it, open your window & shout out that he's woken you up again, that you're normally polite, but not when you're sleep deprived, then a little fck off & park outside your own house ya taxi driving priiiickkk!