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Taxi driver using outside my house as his resting spot

megapixel

Two to three times a week a taxi driver that lives in my estate pulls up outside my house and has a few fags and phone conversations(with the window open). Im a really light sleeper so he usually wakes me up.
Do i have any rights to go tell him to feck off?

Just seen him get out of the car still on his headpicece chatting away and start urinating at the other side of the car.

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Chucken

megapixel wrote: »

I have cctv cameras, i'll upgrade them so i can record his phone calls and blackmail him.:rolleyes:

Ah no need for that.

Just go stand in the garden and listen.

lulu1

Get someone to park an old banger in front of his drive way and block him in

old_aussie

Look his home number up in the phonebook.

Then when he's outside,

put on your sexiest voice and phone his home number and ask for him, with something like...hi sweetie, I'm waiting.

efb

This is like AH Soap...

Sir Arthur Daley

I would buy a super soaker, fill it with stale piss and blast him with it when he urinates, get a gang together more super soakers the better. urinating in an estate is disgusting.

TheBegotten

Leave a note outside saying you're a light sleeper (add some crap about the window not shutting properly if you want) and would prefer if he didn't stop outside your house. Maybe leave a Mars bar to soften the blow if he's the grouchy type.

megapixel

Thanks for all the advise

shruikan2553

Watch him and make sure he sees you. Extra points for binoculars. He'll feel uncomfortable and move elsewhere.

The other option is stand outside his house and do what he does.

lulu1

TheBegotten wrote: »

Leave a note outside saying you're a light sleeper (add some crap about the window not shutting properly if you want) and would prefer if he didn't stop outside your house. Maybe leave a Mars bar to soften the blow if he's the grouchy type.

Give him no mars bar or he will expect one every day

popolive

cut out the letters from a newspaper arrange them to say ''I kNoW eVeRyThInG'' , get some Pritt Stick and glue them together ''ransom note'' style and mail it to him

TheBegotten

lulu1 wrote: »

Give him no mars bar or he will expect one every day

Now that I think about it, you might make him associate waking you up with Mars bars. Next thing you know, six weeks later he's throwing bricks through your window every night to get his sweets and you're pauperised from having to spend your wages on chocolate and window repairs.

The Diabolical Monocle

Piss and slashed tyres aside. Point ur own car lights at him full beam.

Jester252

Sh!t in the air filter.

Diabhal Beag

Fly a massive Nigerian flag outside your place if he's an Irish taxi driver. I don't need to tell you why it will work, it just will.

Lapin

Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »

Maybe he's having an affair

Or maybe his wife is.

partay pooper

Maybe he's have an affair with whoever lives in the house across the green? He was ringing to get the all clear?

Tail Docker

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

I would buy a super soaker, fill it with stale piss and blast him with it when he urinates, get a gang together more super soakers the better. urinating in an estate is disgusting.

Very true, totally taking the Pi55.

Maphisto

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

So he is your neighbour all along or is it a call girl he is visiting? would explain the urination.

Call girls don't have lavatories?

He's not into urolagnia?

CarrickMcJoe

When he throws out his cigarette butt, run out and throw it back in preferably on the back seat.

umop.episdn

Just wait until the next time he does it, open your window & shout out that he's woken you up again, that you're normally polite, but not when you're sleep deprived, then a little fck off & park outside your own house ya taxi driving priiiickkk!

fineso.mom

Passive aggressive/non confrontational solution......do a rain dance just before bed,,won't stop him parking there but he'll have to keep the car window closed to keep out the rain, at least you won't hear him.

Toots

Sensible answer: phone his taxi company and complain. the noisy phone calls are one thing, but the pissing is another altogether. Whatever if you lived down some country boreen but in an estate it's just wankery.

More enjoyable answer: every time you have to pee for the next day or so, collect it in a big bucket. Then at night time take the bucket and hide in the bush in your front garden. When the taxi guy pulls up and opens his window throw the contents of said bucket in on top of him and then go "oh jesus, I'm so sorry! There's been local cats out here riding in the bushes and keeping me awake at night - I find throwing a bucket of water over them usually sorts them out. I heard noise and just thought you were a pair of riding cats." then if he starts arguing that it wasn't water but piss that was thrown at him, just tell him piss is mostly water, so it's close enough. then saunter back in to your house.

MarkR

megapixel wrote: »

Two to three times a week a taxi driver that lives in my estate pulls up outside my house and has a few fags and phone conversations(with the window open). Im a really light sleeper so he usually wakes me up.
Do i have any rights to go tell him to feck off?

Just seen him get out of the car still on his headpicece chatting away and start urinating at the other side of the car.

I'm pretty sure urinating in the street is illegal. I'd be calling his office and complaining, followed by one to the local gardai.

lulu1

TheBegotten wrote: »

Now that I think about it, you might make him associate waking you up with Mars bars. Next thing you know, six weeks later he's throwing bricks through your window every night to get his sweets and you're pauperised from having to spend your wages on chocolate and window repairs.

And the next thing you know he will be looking for compensation if the mars dont appear

No seriously op I would just go out to him and tell him to park in front of his own house if its only across the road

arybvtcw0eolkf

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

Have you a sign up saying you have cctv?

You don't need signs, however you do need to be licenced by the Private Security Authority to operate a CCTV system.

The_Captain

You need signs up if you have any intention of using the video in court

Soups123

Post a letter anonymously to his wife, tell her he pulls up every night in the estate and talks to a women on his phone for an hour each night. Give it one nights and you will be sorted

Mr. CooL ICE

Open the curtain, get naked, tuck your genitals between your legs and start sexy dancing while Goodbye Horses blares out of your stereo.

Sir Arthur Daley

Rowen Some Quintet wrote: »

You don't need signs, however you do need to be licenced by the Private Security Authority to operate a CCTV system.

Is every home owner who has their own cctv licensed by the PSA?

tricky D

Put a sign up outside your house saying that the soiling charge is €140.