How was your childhood?

lufties

I think its our childhood that shapes us in our adult years and it got me thinking. Generally my home life was a happy one, my parents didn't have a lot but worked their backsides off to provide for my siblings and I. We didn't always get on but have a fairly healthy relationship today, although we are so different in a lot of ways that these days I tend to keep the conversation quite bland (Weather,football,work etc)as I'd be afraid of offending them by expressing views on things so I'd rather keep the peace. School life was torturous sometimes, as I was picked on a lot. Even now 15 years later it still haunts me and gives anxiety. Its amazing and understated how trauma in our earlier years affects us. some people spend the rest of their lives trying to overcome their troubles.

The Backwards Man

I was pretty young at the time.

The Moldy Gowl

I was even younger

Tigger

This is the first thread since the new rule that would be better off in politics

Valetta

Everything was huge.

Wabbit Ears

It sucked, My ma was a middle class dipso and my father an emotionally detached dictator. The 80s was tough finacially and it was idiotic for them to have had 5 children they couldnt support

Tasden

I had the best childhood anyone could ask for, parents always kept us safe and happy, very grateful and have huge respect for everything they did for us.

BeerWolf

Had a pretty good time as a kid - we weren't poor, Dad had a lot of vehicles to fiddle around with... be it Jet Skis, Quad and motocross Bikes, a speed boat, cars and jeeps, etc.

A lot of weekends we'd be out using them or out trekking somewhere, going on trips and such.

Schoolwise, we were sent to an International School called "Garden International School" [Private school in Malaysia]... great school.


Moving to Ireland at 12, I later discovered my Dad owed millions in taxes -.-;

He's still around, just don't see him often now - he's back in Malaysia taking care of his 98 year mum, me Gran.

Alf. A. Male

Mine was brilliant. So good in fact that at 44 I'm having a second one.

Philo Beddoe

It was grand.

AndyBoBandy

Ireland did football good, and we were actually involved in these festivals of football that took place during the summers.

jimgoose

Childhood was just fine. I grew up in a beautiful place by the butt of a huge hill in a valley in East Limerick. Days were filled with freedom, cycling around, climbing trees, leapin' into streams, all that kind of thing. Pop was a building contractor all his life, the Lord be good to him, and there was no shortage of bulldozers, trucks, JCBs, etc. to play around with. Big boys' toys - if you can conceive of a Valhalla for a small boy, that was it.

I wasn't too keen on school, largely because I always felt I had better things to be doing, but I was reasonably good at it.

We always had plenty, cars out the wazoo, and my parents were fairly with-it and chilled out by local standards. They lived in London for a few years in the '50s where Ma managed a caff in Soho while Pop worked on the buildings and raced his 500cc AJS at Brands Hatch at weekends. Rock on. 'Orrrright Paddy!! :cool:

Dramatik

Most of mine was spent sitting at the kitchen table with my da shouting "dear god, grant me patience!" at me. School work was not my forte! I also spent a lot of my time hanging around in the video shop next door to where my parents worked, reading 2000ad comics and browsing their selection of Commodore 64 games.

Knex*

Loved my childhood, and I'm eternally grateful towards my parents for providing it to me despite all they went through.

Was fortunate enough to fall in with a great bunch in primary school, many of whom I'm still very good friends with today, and most of the rest I could easily fall into a conversation with if I met them somewhere.

Forever telling stories about my time in school, both primary and secondary, and looking back it seems I spent much of that time laughing, having fun, and being relatively carefree.

I consider myself extremely fortunate.

Hande hoche!

Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

Irishcrx

Dreadfull , I never knew my Dad as he left when I was 3 , My mother was an abusive/violent alcholic who drank 24/7 and would regularly beat me or throw vodka bottles at me/throw me out on the street at 1am when I 6/7 years old, I was very quite at school, had no brothers or sisters. Ended up living with my grandparents most of the time but my grandmother passed away when I was 8 I then lived with my Grandfather until I was 13 but he also passed away one morning, I was the one that found him it was the single worst moment of my life I'll never forget that feeling of complete panic, sadness and desperation of what I'd do now...

I ended up living with mu aunty after that who was a great woman and did everything she could to support me but it never really felt like 'home' nowhere did as I had to move about so much. I moved out the minute I was 18 and started trying to support myself.

But you know what, I wouldn't change a single part of it because I'm happy with who I am all them thing's in the past shaped me to be me. I often have people say to me 'well done' and 'jesus we didn't expect you to turn out like you did' ie - I'm not a rampaging alcho or drug addict. I had to always look out for myself and stand on my own two feet, it made me stronger.

But when I do talk to people who complain about their perfect upbringing and Daddy not buying them a new car or paying for their holiday I do want to take out my tiny violine and tell them to get ****ing real, you've no idea what hard upbringing is.

I met my Dad was I was 21 as well , lovely man who had his reasons and I also found I've 3 half brothers and sisters who I've a good relationship with now.

jimgoose

Irishcrx wrote: »

...

Well that was pretty crap, but I love the ending. Best of luck to you.

shruikan2553

I would consider it below average but could have been worse. At least my mother and grandparents treated me well. Mum is amazed I didn't start taking drugs.

--LOS--

A very charmed country life in a way, not so good in others. Always felt much poorer than we were coz there was very little support there, I started paying for my own things early on including school books, other school expenses, clothes etc. I think the folks were more stingey than poor though. Can only describe my parents as abusive, it was a lot more than just the odd slap. School was ok until about 10, things went downhill from there. Kinda isolating too, I had to go to school further away than people in the area coz that's what suited my mother, pretty much had my sister and that was it. Spent all my time with animals and my grandmother Wouldn't care to relive it, distance myself from my folks/relations now, happier and healthier that way.

Coat22

Top class. Never really thought we were missing out on anything until secondary school when I noticed others had VCRs and we didn’t but we definitely had more craic growing up than the VCR crowd did.

lufties

Coat22 wrote: »

Top class. Never really thought we were missing out on anything until secondary school when I noticed others had VCRs and we didn’t but we definitely had more craic growing up than the VCR crowd did.

Other than external things like vcrs etc, how were your parents towards you for example?

Coat22

lufties wrote: »

Other than external things like vcrs etc, how were your parents towards you for example?

Absolutely great – and they had lots of us – not sure I’d be as good if I had as many kids – 2 is hard enough

razorblunt

Brilliant, couldn't ask for better parents, we grew up not wanting for anything which is a testament to my parents hard work. Was a "talker" in school so probably had them worried about not reaching my potential. Fought with my Dad too much as a result, but we get on great now, think it's more because I'm exactly like him and it sparks, never fight anymore, just argue over plans, restaurant bills etc.

Schoolwise it was great, small (at the time ~35) class, one class per year, so everyone was on par with each other. Closest friends are all from that bunch. In the area where I lived I got hassle from the group of lads who thought they were hard. More verbal more than anything, always ignored it never bothered me, which for some reason made them worse. Only one guy would take it too far and get physical, decided I had enough one day when we were 14 and he clocked me in the face running past in a collective game of football in the green. He was egged on by the proper thug in the estate (numerous jail sentences, now just some addict idling by), picked myself up, and clocked him back just as he was saying "sorry it was (ha) an accident (ha, ha)". He lost two teeth and dropped like a stone. Had no more hassle after that.

Life was good, except I grew up (and still am) a Liverpool fan!!

LizzieJones

lufties wrote: »

I think its our childhood that shapes us in our adult years and it got me thinking. Generally my home life was a happy one, my parents didn't have a lot but worked their backsides off to provide for my siblings and I. We didn't always get on but have a fairly healthy relationship today, although we are so different in a lot of ways that these days I tend to keep the conversation quite bland (Weather,football,work etc)as I'd be afraid of offending them by expressing views on things so I'd rather keep the peace. School life was torturous sometimes, as I was picked on a lot. Even now 15 years later it still haunts me and gives anxiety. Its amazing and understated how trauma in our earlier years affects us. some people spend the rest of their lives trying to overcome their troubles.

Playing outside was fun. I liked school but my parents fought too much. I hated that.

anto9

I had a loving family .School was the only blot as i hated it .Went to a so called Christians brothers school where everything was taught in Irish (St Marys off Dorset st Dublin ) .Was constantly beaten by the leather ,mainly because i hated and still do the Gaelge.
Glad i now live on the other side of the World ,where English is king .lol

mrsbyrne

If your childhood lasts 18 years then mine can be divided exactly in 2 . The idyllic first half spent in urban East London going to school on a London Bus Saturdays spent going up to London on the Tube to see the sights all the museums Westminster etc picnic in the rain in Trafalgar Sq going to the seaside, Clacton or Southend also on the train, lovely school, happy family etc.
Then we came to live in rural Ireland on my 9th birthday albeit s large market town but Jesus what a culture shock. My EastEnders Sharon
accent got me bullied, nothing to do, my mum hhad another baby , got post Natal depression took to the bed, the little brat never stopped crying then he got sick, then my dad had a massive stroke, total disaster please God let me go home, then my poor dad died. Everything was cool though once I got away to College st 18.

Edited to add the weather had a big impact. Every summers day in London was hot, in my mind. Here it seemed to piss constantly 12 months of the year.

lufties

mrsbyrne wrote: »

If your childhood lasts 18 years then mine can be divided exactly in 2 . The idyllic first half spent in urban East London going to school on a London Bus Saturdays spent going up to London on the Tube to see the sights all the museums Westminster etc picnic in the rain in Trafalgar Sq going to the seaside, Clacton or Southend also on the train, lovely school, happy family etc.
Then we came to live in rural Ireland on my 9th birthday albeit s large market town but Jesus what a culture shock. My EastEnders Sharon
accent got me bullied, nothing to do, my mum hhad another baby , got post Natal depression took to the bed, the little brat never stopped crying then he got sick, then my dad had a massive stroke, total disaster please God let me go home, then my poor dad died. Everything was cool though once I got away to College st 18.

Edited to add the weather had a big impact. Every summers day in London was hot, in my mind. Here it seemed to piss constantly 12 months of the year.

Ireland is very parochial, I wouldn't even dream of settling there. Its a friendly place if your a tourist but otherwise no. I remember being brought up to think that english were immoral and potestants were not as pure as everyone else. sorry to hear about your experience.

Electric Sheep

mrsbyrne wrote: »

If your childhood lasts 18 years then mine can be divided exactly in 2 . The idyllic first half spent in urban East London going to school on a London Bus Saturdays spent going up to London on the Tube to see the sights all the museums Westminster etc picnic in the rain in Trafalgar Sq going to the seaside, Clacton or Southend also on the train, lovely school, happy family etc.
Then we came to live in rural Ireland on my 9th birthday albeit s large market town but Jesus what a culture shock. My EastEnders Sharon
accent got me bullied, nothing to do, my mum hhad another baby , got post Natal depression took to the bed, the little brat never stopped crying then he got sick, then my dad had a massive stroke, total disaster please God let me go home, then my poor dad died. Everything was cool though once I got away to College st 18.

Edited to add the weather had a big impact. Every summers day in London was hot, in my mind. Here it seemed to piss constantly 12 months of the year.

Replace England with US and Market Town with tiny village and my story is nearly identical.

Legs.Eleven

Up 'till my early-teens, I was happy. My mam died when I was 10, which was obviously a huge upheaval but I come from a large family and was loved by my siblings who all looked out for me and my dad remarried a lovely woman who was very kind to me. I'd lots of good friends, lived in a fairly rural area (back then it was anyway) of Dublin and I remember I spent most of it outdoors playing having huge amounts of fun. I also grew up by the sea and it was great spending Summers on the beach (weather seemed nicer in the 80s). I can't really complain.

Doom

I remember going out in my dad and coming in my mother... ;-p

Young Blood

I think I was born on the cusp of a changing Ireland when the 80s recession was coming to an end and the Celtic Tiger was beginning. My parents attitude never reflected how things were in reality. We were always short of something, never had enough money etc. ect.. Yet there was abundance of opportunity in work and school.

I think their attitude reflected a lot of the old peoples attitude today which is that they don't realize Ireland is now actually a modern country and the famine has finished. Even scumbags use City Bikes and return them after their finished. Can you imagine, we've come a long way!

Grand Moff Tarkin

Fantastic childhood. Parents always put my siblings and myself first in everything they did.

looking_around

I normally don't answer topics like this. My childhood was....... well.....

I was sexually abused by my biological father. Who denies it and calls me a liar to this day. (something that hurt me more than the abuse itself. ) I always tried very hard to be a good kid.
My mother could be emotionally abusive, something she recognised then and would often try to amend after the fact.

I had alot of expectations to do well in school. Very well. Tbh, as a kid, school was all I had. Getting A's defined me.
I was severely bullied in school. And quite lonely. The friends I had in primary school didn't carry into secondary school, and I never managed to fit in with any groups. I spent my lunch breaks studying or reading.

I almost jumped off a multi story car park at 14 years old.
____
It wasn't all bad,...but the bad certainly outweighs the good.

___ Currently, things are good though.___

_Brian

Very good childhood here..
We didnt have lots of stuff but my parents worked hard to provide for us. They also spent lots of time with us which is what i appreciate most.. I miss my dad terribly since he died suddenly a few years ago.

Starokan

My folks provided me with a great childhood but I couldn't see it then, I hated myself I think, most of my memories centre around me being rightly fcuked off with life in general, i was kind of annoyed / sad / depressed / angry all the time , i reckon i was a total nightmare for my parents and siblings.

Pretty embarrassing when I look back on it now but hey I was a kid so I just try and forgive myself for being a twat as a young lad and concentrate on being the best (ish) adult I can be

playedalive

Yeah I agree with the OP that children can shape us to a certain extent. But the shape doesn't have to define us.

My childhood was ok. Not the dream one that everybody has in mind. I was born into a loveless marriage where my father abused alcohol and slept around, while my mum was (and is) a nervous anxious lady but who was devoted (and is still devoted) to her kids' happiness and did everything (worked jobs, ran the house, made Christmas and summer holidays). She has always been my rock and has made me feel happy in this confusing world.

As a young child, I was really quiet and was very imaginative/ living in my own head. I guess it was because my parents would argue and there was no good feelings between my parents, as my Mum only stayed with him because of old catholic beliefs that you stay with your husband (they are separated, now). Since there was no real social interaction at home except with my mum and my autistic brother, I struggled a lot in school making friends and always changed groups of friends. Carrying onto my teenage years, I was bullied by a guy and become paranoid, sensitive, anxious and depressed, which has stood with me today (but I'm working on those issues). Absolutely hated Secondary School and just focused on studying, which didn't well round me. I was still really socially awkward. Then, I went to college and matured slowly more into an adultish figure.

I would say that childhood has shaped me emotionally but not my personality. I have become more talkative (in the right comfort company of certain friends/people) and I'm more in touch with the grim reality of life.

Shakespeare's Sister

Excruciatingly middle-class, comfortable, dull and uncomplicated.

This caused me much resentment in my teens/early 20s. :pac:

Now I count my blessings.

lufties

Magaggie wrote: »

Excruciatingly middle-class, comfortable, dull and uncomplicated.

This caused me much resentment in my teens/early 20s. :pac:

what is middle class exactly? parents earning over 60k a year?, sorry but I'm not suprised you had a dull childhood with a 'class' outlook.

Shakespeare's Sister

lufties wrote: »

what is middle class exactly? parents earning over 60k a year?, sorry but I'm not suprised you had a dull childhood with a 'class' outlook.

Wooosh.

cloud493

Terrible.

Vito Corleone

My childhood was grand, in the Irish sense of the word. I had a stable home environment.

Deco99

I peaked too soon.

anncoates

Generally happy and stable overall although no childhood is completely idyllic.

Obviously in my teens and 20s I was stuffed with waffle about minor ways my parents 'failed', but now (and with kids myself) I realize that they did a good as job as they possibly could and made a lot of - unappreciated at the time - sacrifices for us.

castletownman

My childhood took a turn for the worse the day I got infected by lice.

Of all of the vermin in God's great green kingdom, lice are the ones I detest the most. My first day of school, I had lice, and no one would play with me. For 15 years, they called me freak and four eyes and sci-fi nerd and girl puncher. All because I had lice when I was 7.

Cee-Jay-Cee

I had a generally very happy childhood. I had good parents, lots of friends and we lived in the country so done plenty of exploring,chasing cattle, climbing trees, throwing stones at things etc etc I wouldn't change anything about it in hindsight.

Savage Tyrant

My parents tried their best, gave me, my brother and sister everything we needed and most of what we wanted within reason.
But we (brother and I) never felt loved... My parents weren't 'natural' parental people. But i know now they did love us in their way and would do anything I asked of them nowadays.
Problems with the troubles in the north also had a large effect on our childhood which I wont get into now.
Overall, I'd say it was a fairly difficult upbringing but by no means a bad one.

Queen-Mise

I had a schizophrenic childhood.

The good parts were my parents who are salt of the earth. My mother is one of the nicest, caring, most loving people you could ever meet. My father is the same, he is what you would call a country gentleman, never drank or smoked in his life, a pioneer for over 60 years.

The bad was bad. Was sexually, physically, emotionally, and mentally abused by a family member from age 3 1/2 until 16. It is not possible to explain the impact this had on my life, in the shortest possible explanation, it is a miracle I am still alive. Be it addictions (which I conquered so far anyway), various depressive episodes (the most recent was the worst of 5-6 years), general suicidal behaviours.

A phenomenal amount of therapy, I am living with the demons. Don't really know how successfully though.

The worst part is the abuse isn't the worst sh*te I have been through in my life. The vast majority of it was horrific.

Avasa

Childhood was ****ing horrible, for the most part.

Most probably my mother had Borderline personality disorder. Emotionally abusive. Oversharing things with me that a child should not hear. Unstable emotionally. Explosive rages and fits of tears. A lot of shouting. In my mid teens she became more physically violent and what would be described as an alcoholic. A bottle of wine or two every night is not normal, considering she would go nuts shouting and trying to start an argument with me if I left my room or was going in or out of the house. That or just pass out on the sofa. Could not keep close friends and also did not get along with any of her family. No contact with most of her family, aside from one of her sisters who lived in england who I would see every couple of years. I never had much or any relationship with any of her family.

Father was a sociopathic peadophile. Also great friends with a well known peadophile priest chapter 19 of murphy report. Abused his girlfriends very young daughter and possibly other children that I only have a vague recollection of. Still stalks and harasses myself and this ex girlfriend even though we have both gotten away from him over a decade ago. Various arguments with his family that would not talk to him for years on end. I never had much of a relationship with any of his family, bar playing with cousins at various stages. I would like some sort of relationship with cousins, but not really an option at this point. I do occasionally talk to one of my uncles. He is a sound guy, but I dont want to bother him or bring up this stuff too much.

Brother had various bouts of serious illness growing up. He was always spoiled and got his own way. He was older and bigger and would pick on me a lot. He pretty much used me as a punching bag, probably more so than any normal sibling would. I think as he was sick a lot, he doesnt remember much of what went on with parents. At least that is what I try to tell myself. He denies everything that happened, calls me a liar, confused etc. Its all just so typical in cases like this. We have not had a relationship in over a decade.

Frequent dislocations of knees and gradual worsening of joint pain and swelling since age 6/7. Mostly untreated untill my early 20's. Formal diagnosis in mid 20's. Prednisolone is actually amazing.

School was almost always a safe place for me. Had some amazing teachers. They seemed to really put thought into how their lessons and interactions with us would shape us for the future. I also hope they were paid overtime for all the extra time waiting to see when my mother would collect me. Some minor bullying in 6th class, but not very serious. I grew up with some of the most sound kids ever. Moved away down the country in my mid teens for 5th/6th year. Not such a good experience. There was a huge difference between teachers/peers from where I grew up and down in the country. They were very rough and uncaring. Lost contact with majority of people I grew up with due to distance and mother not allowing friends to visit.

This sort of childhood has obviously effected me hugely. A lot of depression and all that goes with it. I think the only reason I have turned out alright is because of the support and nurturing from my school and teachers. Things havent gone exactly how I would like, with jobs, health, etc but I keep trying to do better instead of shooting up heroin like some people would. Im extremely independent, not willing to setting in bad relationship, whereas others may cling to bad relationship or seek others to take care of them. I have more time for other peoples problems than most people I think.

Ruu

Quite good, spent summers with Aunt Fanny and Uncle Quentin eating cream buns and lashings of ginger beer. We got up to some mischief as well. Oh the fun we had!

RayM

It was pretty tough. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down the mill, and pay the mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

No, it was very happy, stable and secure. I had brilliant parents (and grandparents). I remember a friend once told me that he was jealous of how un-embarrassing my parents were, so that was good. School was a bit crap, but my home life made up for that.

LizzieJones

RayM wrote: »

It was pretty tough. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down the mill, and pay the mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

Thumbs up for the Monty Python reference. Never fails to make me laugh.