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Child Item

How was your childhood?

lufties

I think its our childhood that shapes us in our adult years and it got me thinking. Generally my home life was a happy one, my parents didn't have a lot but worked their backsides off to provide for my siblings and I. We didn't always get on but have a fairly healthy relationship today, although we are so different in a lot of ways that these days I tend to keep the conversation quite bland (Weather,football,work etc)as I'd be afraid of offending them by expressing views on things so I'd rather keep the peace. School life was torturous sometimes, as I was picked on a lot. Even now 15 years later it still haunts me and gives anxiety. Its amazing and understated how trauma in our earlier years affects us. some people spend the rest of their lives trying to overcome their troubles.

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Grand Moff Tarkin

Fantastic childhood. Parents always put my siblings and myself first in everything they did.

looking_around

I normally don't answer topics like this. My childhood was....... well.....

I was sexually abused by my biological father. Who denies it and calls me a liar to this day. (something that hurt me more than the abuse itself. ) I always tried very hard to be a good kid.
My mother could be emotionally abusive, something she recognised then and would often try to amend after the fact.

I had alot of expectations to do well in school. Very well. Tbh, as a kid, school was all I had. Getting A's defined me.
I was severely bullied in school. And quite lonely. The friends I had in primary school didn't carry into secondary school, and I never managed to fit in with any groups. I spent my lunch breaks studying or reading.

I almost jumped off a multi story car park at 14 years old.
____
It wasn't all bad,...but the bad certainly outweighs the good.

___ Currently, things are good though.___

_Brian

Very good childhood here..
We didnt have lots of stuff but my parents worked hard to provide for us. They also spent lots of time with us which is what i appreciate most.. I miss my dad terribly since he died suddenly a few years ago.

Starokan

My folks provided me with a great childhood but I couldn't see it then, I hated myself I think, most of my memories centre around me being rightly fcuked off with life in general, i was kind of annoyed / sad / depressed / angry all the time , i reckon i was a total nightmare for my parents and siblings.

Pretty embarrassing when I look back on it now but hey I was a kid so I just try and forgive myself for being a twat as a young lad and concentrate on being the best (ish) adult I can be

playedalive

Yeah I agree with the OP that children can shape us to a certain extent. But the shape doesn't have to define us.

My childhood was ok. Not the dream one that everybody has in mind. I was born into a loveless marriage where my father abused alcohol and slept around, while my mum was (and is) a nervous anxious lady but who was devoted (and is still devoted) to her kids' happiness and did everything (worked jobs, ran the house, made Christmas and summer holidays). She has always been my rock and has made me feel happy in this confusing world.

As a young child, I was really quiet and was very imaginative/ living in my own head. I guess it was because my parents would argue and there was no good feelings between my parents, as my Mum only stayed with him because of old catholic beliefs that you stay with your husband (they are separated, now). Since there was no real social interaction at home except with my mum and my autistic brother, I struggled a lot in school making friends and always changed groups of friends. Carrying onto my teenage years, I was bullied by a guy and become paranoid, sensitive, anxious and depressed, which has stood with me today (but I'm working on those issues). Absolutely hated Secondary School and just focused on studying, which didn't well round me. I was still really socially awkward. Then, I went to college and matured slowly more into an adultish figure.

I would say that childhood has shaped me emotionally but not my personality. I have become more talkative (in the right comfort company of certain friends/people) and I'm more in touch with the grim reality of life.

Shakespeare's Sister

Excruciatingly middle-class, comfortable, dull and uncomplicated.

This caused me much resentment in my teens/early 20s. :pac:

Now I count my blessings.

lufties

Magaggie wrote: »

Excruciatingly middle-class, comfortable, dull and uncomplicated.

This caused me much resentment in my teens/early 20s. :pac:

what is middle class exactly? parents earning over 60k a year?, sorry but I'm not suprised you had a dull childhood with a 'class' outlook.

Shakespeare's Sister

lufties wrote: »

what is middle class exactly? parents earning over 60k a year?, sorry but I'm not suprised you had a dull childhood with a 'class' outlook.

Wooosh.

cloud493

Terrible.

Vito Corleone

My childhood was grand, in the Irish sense of the word. I had a stable home environment.

Deco99

I peaked too soon.

anncoates

Generally happy and stable overall although no childhood is completely idyllic.

Obviously in my teens and 20s I was stuffed with waffle about minor ways my parents 'failed', but now (and with kids myself) I realize that they did a good as job as they possibly could and made a lot of - unappreciated at the time - sacrifices for us.

castletownman

My childhood took a turn for the worse the day I got infected by lice.

Of all of the vermin in God's great green kingdom, lice are the ones I detest the most. My first day of school, I had lice, and no one would play with me. For 15 years, they called me freak and four eyes and sci-fi nerd and girl puncher. All because I had lice when I was 7.

Cee-Jay-Cee

I had a generally very happy childhood. I had good parents, lots of friends and we lived in the country so done plenty of exploring,chasing cattle, climbing trees, throwing stones at things etc etc I wouldn't change anything about it in hindsight.

Savage Tyrant

My parents tried their best, gave me, my brother and sister everything we needed and most of what we wanted within reason.
But we (brother and I) never felt loved... My parents weren't 'natural' parental people. But i know now they did love us in their way and would do anything I asked of them nowadays.
Problems with the troubles in the north also had a large effect on our childhood which I wont get into now.
Overall, I'd say it was a fairly difficult upbringing but by no means a bad one.

Queen-Mise

I had a schizophrenic childhood.

The good parts were my parents who are salt of the earth. My mother is one of the nicest, caring, most loving people you could ever meet. My father is the same, he is what you would call a country gentleman, never drank or smoked in his life, a pioneer for over 60 years.

The bad was bad. Was sexually, physically, emotionally, and mentally abused by a family member from age 3 1/2 until 16. It is not possible to explain the impact this had on my life, in the shortest possible explanation, it is a miracle I am still alive. Be it addictions (which I conquered so far anyway), various depressive episodes (the most recent was the worst of 5-6 years), general suicidal behaviours.

A phenomenal amount of therapy, I am living with the demons. Don't really know how successfully though.

The worst part is the abuse isn't the worst sh*te I have been through in my life. The vast majority of it was horrific.

Avasa

Childhood was ****ing horrible, for the most part.

Most probably my mother had Borderline personality disorder. Emotionally abusive. Oversharing things with me that a child should not hear. Unstable emotionally. Explosive rages and fits of tears. A lot of shouting. In my mid teens she became more physically violent and what would be described as an alcoholic. A bottle of wine or two every night is not normal, considering she would go nuts shouting and trying to start an argument with me if I left my room or was going in or out of the house. That or just pass out on the sofa. Could not keep close friends and also did not get along with any of her family. No contact with most of her family, aside from one of her sisters who lived in england who I would see every couple of years. I never had much or any relationship with any of her family.

Father was a sociopathic peadophile. Also great friends with a well known peadophile priest chapter 19 of murphy report. Abused his girlfriends very young daughter and possibly other children that I only have a vague recollection of. Still stalks and harasses myself and this ex girlfriend even though we have both gotten away from him over a decade ago. Various arguments with his family that would not talk to him for years on end. I never had much of a relationship with any of his family, bar playing with cousins at various stages. I would like some sort of relationship with cousins, but not really an option at this point. I do occasionally talk to one of my uncles. He is a sound guy, but I dont want to bother him or bring up this stuff too much.

Brother had various bouts of serious illness growing up. He was always spoiled and got his own way. He was older and bigger and would pick on me a lot. He pretty much used me as a punching bag, probably more so than any normal sibling would. I think as he was sick a lot, he doesnt remember much of what went on with parents. At least that is what I try to tell myself. He denies everything that happened, calls me a liar, confused etc. Its all just so typical in cases like this. We have not had a relationship in over a decade.

Frequent dislocations of knees and gradual worsening of joint pain and swelling since age 6/7. Mostly untreated untill my early 20's. Formal diagnosis in mid 20's. Prednisolone is actually amazing.

School was almost always a safe place for me. Had some amazing teachers. They seemed to really put thought into how their lessons and interactions with us would shape us for the future. I also hope they were paid overtime for all the extra time waiting to see when my mother would collect me. Some minor bullying in 6th class, but not very serious. I grew up with some of the most sound kids ever. Moved away down the country in my mid teens for 5th/6th year. Not such a good experience. There was a huge difference between teachers/peers from where I grew up and down in the country. They were very rough and uncaring. Lost contact with majority of people I grew up with due to distance and mother not allowing friends to visit.

This sort of childhood has obviously effected me hugely. A lot of depression and all that goes with it. I think the only reason I have turned out alright is because of the support and nurturing from my school and teachers. Things havent gone exactly how I would like, with jobs, health, etc but I keep trying to do better instead of shooting up heroin like some people would. Im extremely independent, not willing to setting in bad relationship, whereas others may cling to bad relationship or seek others to take care of them. I have more time for other peoples problems than most people I think.

Ruu

Quite good, spent summers with Aunt Fanny and Uncle Quentin eating cream buns and lashings of ginger beer. We got up to some mischief as well. Oh the fun we had!

RayM

It was pretty tough. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down the mill, and pay the mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

No, it was very happy, stable and secure. I had brilliant parents (and grandparents). I remember a friend once told me that he was jealous of how un-embarrassing my parents were, so that was good. School was a bit crap, but my home life made up for that.

LizzieJones

RayM wrote: »

It was pretty tough. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down the mill, and pay the mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

Thumbs up for the Monty Python reference. Never fails to make me laugh.

Galwayguy35

We were poor growing up, like many other families in the 1980s we ofton depended on the parcel of clothes that came over from relations abroad.

But it was a happy childhood.

Aglomerado

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

We were poor growing up, like many other families in the 1980s we ofton depended on the parcel of clothes that came over from relations abroad.

But it was a happy childhood.

And we were "posh" with our "Next", "St Michael" and "George at Asda" labels!

Very normal, stable childhood -at least among my family - here. Parents worked hard to provide for us, we were by no means well off, but wanted for nothing. Grew up in the countryside surrounded by fields, summers consisted of footing turf in the bog, hiding in hay fields making grass traps to trip each other up and Sundays in Lahinch, Fanore or Spanish Point. My grandfather lived next door to us so there were always family coming and going. It's sad going home now because a lot of houses are empty and/ or for sale including my grandfather's.

School was a different matter. First 6 years of primary school were brilliant, lovely teachers who encouraged me and who were fair in their disciplining of children. Enter 5th and 6th class with the principal and all that changed. She hated me from the outset and put me down at every opportunity. It's pathetic, a grown woman in her 50s at the time bullying a 10 year old. Back then, it was emotionally damaging and gave me a "victim" mindset, which secondary school bullies later picked up on. Luckily I was never alone in this and I had a good group of "misfit" friends.

My secondary school was brilliant other than that, the teachers were very helpful and supportive and did everything they could to encourage me to stay in school and not drop out like I wanted to!

jimgoose

lufties wrote: »

what is middle class exactly? parents earning over 60k a year?, sorry but I'm not suprised you had a dull childhood with a 'class' outlook.

Oh you know, much like '60s Paris only sans the whimsy. Father was a banker - he was typical of his vintage, cold, distant, a disciplinarian, but with a constant terror of his daughters ending up in a thatched cottage in Chipping Sodbury aged fifty or so with no husband and too many cats. Mother won the Derby during better times, but now whiles away the days with embroidery and endless High Tea, occasionally braining the cook with a Monet or Caravaggio in a heavy old oak frame. Winters were usually spent in Burma or the West Indies, riding elephants and enjoying regular games of Roque and Maim-The-Staff on the lawn. At home, one generally repaired to the drawing-room for letter-writing and sighing wistfully out the window in the standard Jane Austen manner. All the while there was a sensation in the background of fading grandeur, of a world changing in ways that would take a long time to comprehend. When the time finally came to get on the early train for London, she knew things would never be the same.

Valetta

Ruu wrote: »

Quite good, spent summers with Aunt Fanny and Uncle Quentin eating cream buns and lashings of ginger beer. We got up to some mischief as well. Oh the fun we had!

Have you not read the forum charter?

Main point- "Don't be a Dick"

Spring Onion

Some of the stories here are very sad. It is so so wrong to rob someone of their childhood.

I have to admit I had a "Huckleberry Finn" childhood. Lived in the country near a fairly big river and all I can remember is fishing, swimming, making rafts, hiking and robbing apples. To this day I gravitate to water as often as possible. I am still a child at heart. We got a new dog last year and it's made me feel young again - going for long walks, swimming, going out on a boat etc.
Primary school in CBS was rough enough but I was targeted a lot less than others because my parents were not afraid of the brothers. Secondary was a lot better and I had some great teachers. I got in with a bad crowd in my teens and got in trouble with the Gardaí a fair bit - breaking and entering, vandalism. My parents were great and guided my through those years without too much damage being done.

Grand Moff Tarkin

Valetta wrote: »

Have you not read the forum charter?

Main point- "Don't be a Dick"

With all the sad stories it was nice to be something funny.

Main point- "Don't be a killjoy"

loalae

Within the space of a year, when I was 6/7, 2 of my brothers died which changed the dynamic of the family. My maternal grandmother died the year before that. For the next few years I knew my mam was sad and I knew it was because of the boys and I felt that it was up to me to make things easier for her. I made sure that I was around to look after my sister and I did my best to protect my brother from other people being mean to him. When I was being bullied in school I kept that from my mam so that she wouldn't have to worry about me as well.

My dad would come home at the same time everyday and we knew not to ask him for anything until he'd eaten his dinner. After that he'd usually just watch tv. I think that was his way of coping with the deaths. But at the weekend we would go for walks in the woods or by the beach and when the weather was nice we'd play football on the green.

We had our difficulties but we managed and we all cared a lot for each other which helped us through the difficult times.

OldNotWIse

Great. Didn't want to grow up. Mam and Dad are like soulmates so no stuck in the middle of parents fighting. Mam stayed at home so always someone there for us, Dad was the rock - he could make anything better. Best friend lived next door. School a short walk away. Peaceful, happy times. Loved it.

Adult life sucks! It's all bills and laundry and buses!

anncoates

Valetta wrote: »

Have you not read the forum charter?

Main point- "Don't be a Dick"

He sounds more like Julian to be fair.

whupdedo

I had a great childhood, holidays twice a year, somewhere different every time,great time at school, no bullying, was a school football genius and that means serious poontang off young impressionable woman, parents were willing to make every effort to provide opportunities and help us make the correct decisions in life and all too often put our interests before any of theirs, sometimes to their own inconvenience and detriment