Ideal woman

NordieSteve

Probably been done 100 times but sure there's nothing like a fresh perspective. What do the lads of boards consider an ideal woman?

I'll start off.

• Similar sense of humour. I curse a lot and make stupid jokes, so it would be great to have someone similar. I'm also fairly sarcastic, sarcasm is fecking hilarious to me.
• Not into the usual cliches such as Marylin monroe quotes, disney expectations of what a relationship should be or having a list and comparing you to it. ( I actually went on a date with a girl who told me she had a list and was making mental notes of the right boxes I am ticking ). A "keeping up appearances" type is a definite no-no.
• Easy going, happy with staying in with a movie as with doing a bit of travelling.
  

I really find it hard to describe these things as I think any girl has a certain quality that I find attractive. As long as the above is down, I think looks are secondary to having a great woman in your life. I suppose I should mention I wouldn't be fond of going out with someone that had a kid/kids as I've been there and done that. I have been out with some absolute psychos too who I have given the benefit of the doubt to despite having been cheated on, even physically assaulted. So somebody a bit more grounded and down to earth would be good.

Colonel Panic

Bullet point list of ideal woman traits where one of the bullet points says woman ticking boxes is a no-no!

My ideal woman is someone who I want to spend all my time with and we have enough shared interests to that doesn't end up being too big a compromise. Obviously there needs to be an attraction there and a similar outlook on life but I also expect even the love of my life to do **** that annoys me or makes me cringe and vice versa!

NordieSteve

Colonel Panic wrote: »

Bullet point list of ideal woman traits where one of the bullet points says woman ticking boxes is a !

Good point.

Sleepy

A high libido and adventurous spirit.
Similar taste in music, movies and food.
Kindness (often over-looked in these kinds of lists).
Closely aligned views on parenthood (or lack thereof).
Not being too into appearances. Sure, it's great to dress nice for an but regular trips to a beauticians to get nails/tan etc. would indicate a vanity that wouldn't be for me.
The general ability to say "**** it" - whether in relation to letting other people's dramas remain their own, changing plans or tackling a tricky black run the pistes.

astonaidan

Ideal girl really for me would be

• pretty
• funny
• nice
• connection (gay I know, but if its not there its not there)

Like the three girls ive been into in my life werent the same at all but they all had these characteristics.
I was actually talking to one of the lads who said I had crazy standards, cause I didnt want to go out with a girl who wanted to sleep with me and that it wasnt normal, I dont get this like if I wanted a girlfriend Id have to feel a connection to her

Honesty and trust. Can look after themselves. That's about it.

beks101

I used to have mental lists. Not in a "check...check...pass" kind of way, but things that I knew either sparked or quashed my interest. Most of which were borne out of previous relationships and things that I knew from experience would lead to issues. I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with it, as long as it's not ridiculously shallow non-negotiables like "must drive a good car", "must make X amount of money".

Ultimately when you meet the right person though, that tendency to intellectualize sort of fades IME. I dated a lot before I met my fella, and I came to the table with a bunch of ideas of things that I resolutely would NOT put up with again - things I considered "warning signs" etc - then I met himself and all those beliefs sort of fell away. All I knew was I met someone who I had no choice in making time for in my life, which was pretty chaotic, busy and all-over-the-place at that point, and that was something I hadn't felt with all the other guys. Other guys I could leave or take. This one was different. This one I felt for in a place other than my head from the get-go.

On the face of it, the core things were there - honesty, respect, intelligence, humour, a love for family and career. I also thought he was a giant ride from the first second, which admittedly is always a significant factor But I find when you meet someone that instantly makes you feel "yup", all the bullet points become inconsequential.

ShatterProof

Someone with a pulse

KTRIC

Sleepy wrote: »

A high libido and adventurous spirit.
Similar taste in music, movies and food.
Kindness (often over-looked in these kinds of lists).
Closely aligned views on parenthood (or lack thereof).
Not being too into appearances. Sure, it's great to dress nice for an but regular trips to a beauticians to get nails/tan etc. would indicate a vanity that wouldn't be for me.
The general ability to say "**** it" - whether in relation to letting other people's dramas remain their own, changing plans or tackling a tricky black run the pistes.

Found her and she was under my noise all the time

Santa Cruz

Dumb nymphomanic who is the only child of a publican ticks the boxes for me

Alf. A. Male

ShatterProof wrote: »

Someone with a pulse

Your standards are too high.

Wibbs

Kindness.
Not self centred.
Thin.
Easygoing and not entirely driven by emotionals. If I want drama I have the flics, the theatre and the telly.
Intelligent.
Loyal.
Plus 1000 on no way to that Marilyn Monroe quote.

iusedtoknow

Sense of Humour
Sense of Fun
Sarcastic
Has their own ideas/mind about them
happy enough to stay in with a box-set/netflix binge as well as travelling
Happy enough to stay high class 5* but also be in a tent the next

Willing to roll their eyes in a dramatic way at anyone if they quote marilyn monroe.

jugger0

Has to be able to cook and clean, strong, good physique, no diseases or genetic impurities.

Pawwed Rig

jugger0 wrote: »

genetic impurities.

Such as?

How would you know without doing extensive medical tests?

Knex*

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Such as?

How would you know without doing extensive medical tests?

Are they talking about gingers? :pac:

ancapailldorcha

Intelligent
Kind
Witty
Well-read
Athletic
Chilled out
Good cook
Non-Caucasian

Sauve

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Intelligent
Kind
Witty
Well-read
Athletic
Chilled out
Good cook
Non-Caucasian

Does she need to be racist as well, or is that just you?

ancapailldorcha

Sauve wrote: »

Does she need to be racist as well, or is that just you?

I'm not a racist, I just have a preference for non-Caucasians.

NordieSteve

Sauve wrote: »

Does she need to be racist as well, or is that just you?

A lady poster said in another forum ( one that you moderate no doubt) that she prefers Latin men, is she racist?

Sauve

NordieSteve wrote: »

A lady poster said in another forum ( one that you moderate no doubt) that she prefers Latin men, is she racist?

Not at all, a preference is a preference. Ruling out an entire race just because they're of that race just seems a tad much to me.

ancapailldorcha

Sauve wrote: »

Not at all, a preference is a preference. Ruling out an entire race just because they're of that race just seems a tad much to me.

Who's ruling a whole race out? A conecptual ideal partner is essentially a collection of preferences.

NordieSteve

Sauve wrote: »

Not at all, a preference is a preference. Ruling out an entire race just because they're of that race just seems a tad much to me.

What a confusing post.

Sauve

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Who's ruling a whole race out? A conecptual ideal partner is essentially a collection of preferences.

'Non-Caucasian' is ruling out an entire race in which to find your ideal partner.

Maximus Alexander

My ideal woman would be:

Honest / Trustworthy
Kind / Thoughtful
Pretty
Intelligent
Witty
Easygoing
Positive Attitude
Affectionate

I know I'm asking a lot but fortunately, somehow, I'm already living with her!

Sauve

NordieSteve wrote: »

What a confusing post.

What's confusing about it?

ancapailldorcha

Sauve wrote: »

'Non-Caucasian' is ruling out an entire race in which to find your ideal partner.

So I'm not allowed to have preferences then?

Not that it's any of your business but I've dated Caucasian women in the past. I just find non-Caucasians more attractive.

blacklilly

I have a preference for caucasian men, does that make me racists?


Nope, it's just my preference which I'm entirely entitled to have.

Sauve

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

So I'm not allowed to have preferences then?

There's a difference between having a preference, and completely discounting an entire race. I don't think you're getting my point

Sauve

blacklilly wrote: »

I have a preference for caucasian men, does that make me racists?


Nope, it's just my preference which I'm entirely entitled to have.

I suppose it could be taken both ways really. I took it to mean that he was ruling out all Caucasians rather than simply having a preference.

If I took you up wrong ancapailldorcha then I'll hold my hands up and apologise.

ancapailldorcha

Sauve wrote: »

There's a difference between having a preference, and completely discounting an entire race. I don't think you're getting my point

You've not really expressed a point, you've just labelled me a racist for having a preference for dating members of certain ethnic groups.

Sauve

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

You've not really expressed a point, you've just labelled me a racist for having a preference for dating members of certain ethnic groups.

See above post and apology. In my head there's a big difference between a preference and ruling out a whole race. I took up your wording to mean something other than what you did. Sorry dude!

ancapailldorcha

Sauve wrote: »

I suppose it could be taken both ways really. I took it to mean that he was ruling out all Caucasians rather than simply having a preference.

If I took you up wrong ancapailldorcha then I'll hold my hands up and apologise.

Didn't see this as I think you posted it while I was typing my previous post.

Anyway, I interpreted the concept of ideal woman as an amalgamation of preferences such as tall, witty, etc...

ancapailldorcha

Sauve wrote: »

See above post and apology. In my head there's a big difference between a preference and ruling out a whole race. I took up your wording to mean something other than what you did. Sorry dude!

No worries.

Sauve

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Didn't see this as I think you posted it while I was typing my previous post.

Anyway, I interpreted the concept of ideal woman as an amalgamation of preferences such as tall, witty, etc...

Yep. Gotcha
I'll just back away from the keyboard and get a coffee before I do any more damage :pac:

fits

fwiw, if someone wrote non-black/ non african/ non-jew, it wouldnt be acceptable so I can understand Sauve's point of view.

Whats up with the Marilyin quotes? I didnt know that was a thing.

Wibbs

fits wrote: »

Whats up with the Marilyin quotes? I didnt know that was a thing.

I believe it's this quote in particular F, which does seem to be with some a popular tagline on ArseBook and the like:

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” MM.

I'd avoid someone who expressed similar or saw this as some sort of rallying cry, as it has been my experience that it's basically an excuse to act like a neurotic and explain it away/get a free ride entitlement from your behaviour.

In a similar vein a few years ago there was a song called "I'm a Bitch" which was a one hit wonder popular for a time. A quick googlette tells me it was written by one Meredith Brooks apparently. Basically the same message. "I can act like an overgrown child, but because every so often I might act like a sane adult you must accept this if you want to love me, oh and you should feel blessed to have me". Ehhh no. Your song title pretty much covers the bases lass, ta very much aannnd goodnight.

Put it another way, if a bloke came out with similar he would be told to head off, by both genders and rightfully.

Wibbs

On a separate note...

fits wrote: »

fwiw, if someone wrote non-black/ non african/ non-jew, it wouldnt be acceptable so I can understand Sauve's point of view.

Aye I do see it too, though people's preferences are people's preferences. On American dating sites you'll have people being quite specific about their "racial"/cultural preferences. So Jews will specifically look for other Jews and so on, even having exclusively racial/cultural sites/forums for different groups.

Galwayguy35

fits wrote: »

fwiw, if someone wrote non-black/ non african/ non-jew, it wouldnt be acceptable so I can understand Sauve's point of view.

Whats up with the Marilyin quotes? I didnt know that was a thing.

Jews aren't a race, it's a religion.

The guy said he prefers to date non caucasion, he didn't say he hated white people which would be racism.

riffmongous

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Jews aren't a race, it's a religion.

The guy said he prefers to date non caucasion, he didn't say he hated white people which would be racism.

It's open to interpretation imo, at first glance I saw it like Sauve as a list of what makes your ideal woman, not a preference of who you would want to date.. which (might to some!)sounds a bit rascist

Galwayguy35

riffmongous wrote: »

It's open to interpretation imo, at first glance I saw it like Sauve as a list of what makes your ideal woman, not a preference of who you would want to date.. which sounds a bit rascist

Any dating site when you look for matches lets you choose the ethnicity of people you are searching for.

Nobody looks on that as racism.

Maximus Alexander

Of course it's not racism, you like what you like and you have no control over it. It's no more racism than it would be if you weren't attracted to brunettes, or people with big ankles, or whatever. When it comes to physical attraction, the body wants what it wants.

riffmongous

That's the difference between a preference which doesn't exclude the outside chance, and saying your perfect woman could be any race bar african (which isn't what the poster meant, he meant preference, but it could be interpreted the other way is my view)

Sauve

Ah yeah it was simply a matter of interpretation lads, of course there's nothing wrong with preference whatsoever, I just took up his meaning wrong.

ancapailldorcha

Wibbs wrote: »

On a separate note...Aye I do see it too, though people's preferences are people's preferences. On American dating sites you'll have people being quite specific about their "racial"/cultural preferences. So Jews will specifically look for other Jews and so on, even having exclusively racial/cultural sites/forums for different groups.

I've seen a fair few profiles over here like that as well. Some women specify that they should only be contacted if you're a certain race/ethnicity. I don't spend time looking at mens' profiles so I'm not saying that it doesn't happen there either.

strobe

Looks wise:
Svelte and Petite - That'd be the main one I think. Wouldn't tend to find "larger ladies" whether that be fat, muscular, stocky or tall attractive usually. Tend to find svelte and petite girls more feminine really.

Pale skin and freckles - Not a deal breaker, I've been with my share of girls with a darker complexion and can find them very attractive, but there's just something about lovely white skin and a dusting of freckles that does things to me.

No body hair - Just the biggest turn off in the world for me, going a couple of days without shaving legs once in a while is grand, hard to be on top of things at all times, but couldn't be with someone that regularly had hairy legs, armpits, and eh, other things.

A nice ass - What can I say, it's almost always the first thing body wise that tends to get me hot under the collar. Non negotiable.

There's probably other things I'd tend to like, like striking hair colour, blue, green, pink, jet black etc just tend to find it very attractive on most girls. Tattoos are another one, mad for a 'tramp stamp' I am. Tend to like the whole heavy goth eye make-up thing. But a lack of those things wouldn't put me off a girl or anything.

Personality wise:
Not easily offended - I just couldn't be doing with someone that got all prissy about the odd rape joke or 'inappropriate comment' made in jest, would drive me mental.

Not a 'feminist' - I'm big on equality and and think anyone being unfairly discriminated against based on their gender is disgraceful stuff. But I'm talking about a person that has sites like Jezebel.com in their bookmarks and if appearing on a game show when asked by the host to tell everyone a little about themselves would begin with "Well, I'm a feminist and...". Tend to see sexism and 'the patriarchy' in the most ridiculous things. Always seem not to think very highly of either women or men, for different reasons. Nope. Tedious.

Can make me laugh - She doesn't have to be a professional comedian or anything but if I'm going to spend a lot of time with someone they need to know how to get a chuckle out of me.

Not an attention seeker - It just grates on me when someone always wants all eyes and ears on them. I don't mind a bit of insecurity, I can even find it quite endearing, but not when it comes through in that kind of way.

Honesty - Couldn't be with someone I didn't trust and couldn't trust someone with a tendency to be dishonest, to themselves or to others.

Good attitude towards sex - Sex is important to me. I love it. It's a major part of an adult relationship. I view it as a really fun thing two people get to do together and mutually enjoy. Any sign that they had some of the far from appealing attitudes towards sex that unfortunately a minority of women seem to, and I'd leave big Back to the Future streaks of fire behind me I'd be gone so quick.

mfceiling

Deaf, dumb, mute, nymphomaniac, with huge knockers and owns an off licence!!

Seriously though...you'll know when you meet her. As a lad i used to have butterflies in my stomach all day saturday, before getting ready to meet her on a saturday night. Remember this was before mobile phones so arrangements at the beginning were "will i see you here next week?"

Nowadays it's all Tinder and sexting!!

Vito Corleone

Latina
Very slim
Petite (4'10-5'3)
Nice ass
Very attractive face
Youthful looking
Dark hair

Gigi Rivera (the ex pornstar) physically would pretty much be the ideal for me.

Sexy attitude
Good personality
High sex drive
At least average intelligence

This is just the ideal and of course one has to be realistic in these type of things, so usually if I find the person attractive and get on well with them then that is enough.

goz83

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Such as?

How would you know without doing extensive medical tests?

She could have a c0ck growing on her forehead. That would be an obvious genetic problem :pac:

NordieSteve

mfceiling wrote: »

Seriously though...you'll know when you meet her

Yeah I have to agree.

Amirani

Is it weird that I find it difficult to describe an ideal? I have been been and am attracted to a pretty wide variety of people, with lots of differences between them. I find it difficult to pinpoint anything common amongst them other than the fact that I find them to be nice, friendly people. I'd probably find it difficult to be attracted to someone who's not that.

I guess that's my perfect woman so! Friendly and well meaning. I'm a boring ****.