Body image issues

LegacyUser

I know some might consider this a trivial matter but I feel cellulite is having a very negative impact on my body image. My cellulite is very very bad. It goes from my bum nearly down to the back of my knees and believe me when I say there are more dimples then I care to admit to. Under harsh lighting it looks absolutely terrible.
I never wear skirts yet I am in my mid twenties. I know some will say they wear skirts without giving a dam but I have never seen anybody with cellulite as visible as mine.
I know I could do with losing weight around my hips and thighs. However I am within the correct BMI for my weight/height. I have other issues such as varicose veins and thread veins. Ultimately I feel that these issues impact on intimate relationships. I know I may look alright in clothes but I feel if any man were to see whats under my clothes he wouldn't find me attractive.
Does anybody have any tips on how to deal with these issues? Or does anybody find themselves in the same boat. I would love to hear some people's opinions.

Alf. A. Male

I may not be from the demographic you want to hear from and I realise there are deeper issues at play, but just to address part of your issue...any man who would have a problem with this is betraying himself to be someone who's not for you. A man who would care about this is not worth your time. Seriously, real intimacy is so far beyond this that you shouldn't ever consider it.

fits

I have it as well, runs in my family. Combined with that blue Irish paleness, I don't feel baring my legs in public is something I want to do. So I wear skirts below knee and Capri pants and all that. My fella couldn't give a monkeys about it. I don't give much thought to it either tbh.

shalalala

I am starting to get it on my bum and thighs. I hear body brushing helps but with things like that I tend to hurt myself. Have you tried the lotions and potions that are meant to help?

LegacyUser

Hi
Thanks to everyone who replied. I had another look at it to today and definitely the lighting is key when looking at it. Today in some light there was very little cellulite. In the sunshine it was quite a bit more visible. Last night looking at it under artificial lighting made me quite upset. It seems to show up every little bump much more pronounced. I assume this happens to others as well. I have read that the expensive creams do very little in the long term but I will try the body brushing and massage/moisturise the areas a bit more. I have started exercising and doing squats etc so hopefully I will see the effects of these in the next few months. I'm feeling a lot more positive today :-)

Precious flower

I wonder if you went to the doctor or a dermatologist would that help? They might be able to advise you on the right products to get that might make a difference? I know everyone has cellulite but if you feel bothered by it maybe that would be the way to go. I heard before a change in diet can improve it (your BMI might be grand, but your food choices can still be bad). Also any man who makes any comment on it should be kicked out straight away!!

Jenneke87

Most anti-cellulite products you can buy over the counter have been proven not to work and how could they: cellulite is mostly remedied through excercise and dieet. Firming creams and stuff don't help as they can never penetrate the skin deep enough to cause any real change. At best it might make your skin softer, and at worst it will have cost you quite a bit of money without getting any result.

I think the best way to combat this is excercise and going to your GP to see if something else can be done about it in addition to the above.

Even though I don't(yet) have cellulite there's one thing that bothered me for a while and those were my scars on my ankle, there's quite big and because of the fractures, one leg is shorter than the other and my right ankle considerably bigger than the left one. For a long time I thought everybody could see it and was staring at it and didn't dare to wear any shoes that didn't cover my ankle. Turns out nobody ever noticed it unless I pointed it out to them. We often think that everyone can see our "imperfections" and that we are automatically judged negatively by other people for having them, when 90% of the time, people are way too busy with their own issues to notice and care about ours. And OP, if a guy rejects you because of this, see it as a fast and effective tool to weed out all the shallow losers.....:)

fits

ha me too, have one leg skinnier than the other and a massive scar over my knee. As well as the cellulite.

I genuinely dont think about these things as my self value isnt tied up in my looks, (thank goodness)

username123

8 inch knee scar, one bigger ankle, cellulite, bluey white Irish complexion, I've got it all going on!

No one else cares about these things except yourself. Intimacy is not about how pretty the body is naked, if that was the case only movie stars and models would ever hook up!

The most attractive traits anyone can ever have are high self esteem and self confidence. You have to love yourself, including imperfections.

Legs.Eleven

My legs certainly wouldn't win any competitions any time soon but it's a choice you make to either get on with it and say "fcuk it" or let the insecurities consume you. It's all in your head. Everyone is worried enough about their own imperfections to worry about yours. That's a fact. Most women have some cellulite although you wouldn't know it because they 'shop every image you see in every magazine, advert etc. Do what you can to overcome those insecurities (even if it means counselling) because it's no way to live.

LegacyUser

Hi guys again thanks for all the replies. I did talk to my doctor about the cellulite before but she responded that its just something woman get.
Unfortunately I am not feeling so good today about the way I look. I have seen a counsellor about this issue before as I would consider myself quite unattractive and have major hang ups about this. I'm not sure whether this is something that can be fixed. Usually I'll just say I'm ugly, my counsellor will just say no you're not, you are attractive. I will say no I am unattractive etc etc.
Last night I was actually out and ended getting upset as I just felt so unattractive to the other girls. No guys were paying me even the slightest bit of attention. The guys I were with were commenting on the hot girls and this just re-enforced to me that I'm not. I really thought I had improved in my confidence re my looks but last night I think I had a set back. I was bullied in school and called ugly so I think my self esteem about my looks has never been good anyway.
At one bar we went to they were letting people down the side entrance. However when we were leaving there was a group of girls coming in the front entrance and one of the guys I was with commented on the fact that they let the hot girls in the front entrance, not the side one. I was the only girl in our group. I just felt that it was really insensitive of him to say that when he knows that I have issues about the way I look. But then at the same time I know that people shouldn't have to tip toe around me as they are my issues. Overall a rubbish night.

pwurple

Cellulite has one handy feature, in that it's not at eye level. I think it's probably genetic, I think I have some on the backs of my legs. Honestly, it's never ever bothered me. Who even looks there anyway? I've certainly never had any trouble with fellas not being interested. Smiling, being nice, and showing any interest in them is usually all you need. I'm no supermodel!

About the clothes, I wouldn't be a massive fan of micro-mini skirts either. Not my style. Prefer maxi's, midi's, pencil or knee lengths.

We all have features we prefer, and heaps of imperfections. Highlight your eyes, hair, lips, whatever bit you like... instead of your legs. Then you can just forget about it.

Daisy78

Op I may be in the 1% of the population that does not have cellulite. Im also lucky in that I have a slim and well proportioned figure. So no body issues from the neck down. But I do have issues with my facial features, my nose, teeth and sometimes my hair will really get me down. So much so that I know I actively avoid talking to people because of this issue. But its a vicious circle because you become more withdrawn because of your low self esteem instead of smiling and actively engaging with others which is what is really attractive. As another poster mentioned cellulite is usually in places that are not exposed to the general public (unless you are wearing a belt for a dress!) ...so when the time comes for you to be more intimate with a guy he will be so thrilled to have an attractive naked woman in front of him he wont even notice.

I guess I just wanted to let you know that a lot of women have issues with how they look but you cant hang your self esteem on your appearance either. You are a sum of many parts, some good, some less good but its the overall package that counts.

Kelly06

My cellulite was pretty bad for the last couple of years because I had put on weight. I've lost most of it now through a healthier diet and the gym. I do sculpting classes with free weights mixed with cardio based classes. I hardly have any cellulite left now i have to scrunch my skin to see it.

7 months ago my legs were cold to touch with bad circulation and cellulite clearly visable and very little definition in them kind of a straight up and down shape.

Now I have a shape to my legs a healthy tone in my skin and very little cellulite left I don't mind showing my legs off anymore. I also tried mini me wraps and I found them very good for cellulite. So my recommendation would be to join a gym and do weight lifting it gives ya a great set of pins I promise !

meeeeh

whatsagirltodo wrote: »

Hi guys again thanks for all the replies. I did talk to my doctor about the cellulite before but she responded that its just something woman get.
Unfortunately I am not feeling so good today about the way I look. I have seen a counsellor about this issue before athem consider myself quite unattractive and have major hang ups about this. I'm not sure whether this is something that can be fixed. Usually I'll just say I'm ugly, my counsellor will just say no you're not, you are attractive. I will say no I am unattractive etc etc.
Last night I was actually out and ended getting upset as I just felt so unattractive to the other girls. No guys were paying me even the slightest bit of attention. The guys I were with were commenting on the hot girls and this just re-enforced to me that I'm not. I really thought I had improved in my confidence re my looks but last night I think I had a set back. I was bullied in school and called ugly so I think my self esteem about my looks has never been good anyway.
At one bar we went to they were letting people down the side entrance. However when we were leaving there was a group of girls coming in the front entrance and one of the guys I was with commented on the fact that they let the hot girls in the front entrance, not the side one. I was the only girl in our group. I just felt that it was really insensitive of him to say that when he knows that I have issues about the way I look. But then at the same time I know that people shouldn't have to tip toe around me as they are my issues. Overall a rubbish night.

From my experience male friends never complement their female friends looks. After ten years among the same mostly male group of friends I got one compliment. We were at the swimming pool and one of them tells me that they were discussing how my arse and tits are just the right size. it's not exactly earth shattering stuff. Secondly forget about getting much attention from other men, they tend to assume that one in the group is your bf.

I was never overly happy with my looks but I saw 5-10 years old pic of myself the other day and I was actually quite hot. Of course all changed in the last 5 years. But seriously don't worry what someone said in school, almost no one is good looking in school even if they think differently themselves.

Alf. A. Male

You need to change your counsellor OP. Contradicting each other for an hour is not counselling.

baby and crumble

This may or may not help, but I'm attracted to women and I honestly don't have an issue with cellulite. I'm in my 30's and i think I have some- I never really looked tbh since I never ever wear skirts- but (and this might be overkill, but it's the honest truth) my gf has cellulite and I wouldn't have noticed it unless she told me (I'm dim about normal 'girl stuff') and I just thought she had leg dimples. I thought they were cute. Still do actually.

I struggle with general body confidence issues at times, everyone does. But the key is to focus on something you like about yourself, it's really important. I like my eyes, and my hair. Unless you're looking for random hook-ups, going out dancing really isn't the best place to go, especially if you have confidence problems, because it really shows in the whole chatting up game. I guarantee there is some guy out there who already knows you and thinks you're cute. There are people I know like you who really don't like the way they look or bits of how they look but I have or had have crushes on at some stage.

pwurple

Listen, most of us are average looking... It has very little to do with relationships with men. Unless they are ridiculously shallow plonkers who you don't want anyway, you want someone who likes you for yourself, not some fake version of you. A lifetime is a long time in terms of looks. None of us stay young forever. We age, get wrinkly, get grey hair, might get pregnant and huge, boobs sag, the whole thing. If a man is wrapped up in how you look instead of who you are, that relationship won't last and will make you miserable.

I know my confidence takes a beating when I'm pregnant, i feel like an ungainly whale. I had to get photographs taken when I was 8 months pregnant for a work thing and I was thinking of any excuse to get out of it. But i smiled at myself in the mirror before i went out, and dragged the eyes up to me smiling instead of anything else. It worked ok, the picture looks alright.

December2012

Are you doing anything about it, other than worrying?

Are you exercising? Are you eating well?

Are you happy with your grooming / fashion?

Those things will help you externally (of course the diet and nutrition help internally too)

Maybe reconsider your current counselling approach / therapist. Are you progressing at all? You will not feel better about it just because your therapist says you are attractive. Is that all you're taking from your sessions?

From reading your post you sound as if you feel really helpless.

There are lots of things to do but they require real work and energy.

McChubbin

I have days when I utterly hate my body but as I've grown older, I've come to accept that I'll never be a size 10.
I too have cellulite and horridly dimply, bumpy thighs but as they rarely get seen by the general public, I don't really give them much thought and even though I shaved my legs for the summer, I'm not fretting over how they might look in a skirt or shorts. At the end of the day, I'm just thankful that my legs work reasonably well.
Sure, I could do with being a few stone lighter for the sake of my health but I'm not going to starve myself just to conform to society's warped standards of beauty. People come in all shapes, colours and sizes and the sooner you stop worrying about what other people think, the sooner you'll be able to feel free and comfortable in your own skin.

metaoblivia

I also have some cellulite on my thighs and have had it since I was a teenager and a competitive gymnast. That's right - I had some cellulite even when I was a competitive gymnast! I'm the same size I was then - 8, slim and in good shape (and proud of that because I'm in my 30s now!). I eat well and work out every day, but if my mom is anything to go by, I'm prone to develop cellulite on my thighs. Of course I notice it, but it doesn't stop me from wearing shorts or skirts or going out to the pool or the beach in a bathing suit. No one's ever run away screaming. And I'm not going to hold myself up to some unrealistic standard or listen to people who want to tell you that cellulite is the result of a poor diet or not working out enough. 80-90% of women have cellulite, so you, OP, and I and every other woman who has it are in good company.

Like many of the other posters here, I've learned that you can't put too much stock into what others think, especially messages from advertisers who make money off of making you feel inadequate. For me growing up, it was my freckles. I would never have clear alabaster skin because of my freckles and I felt like I would never be pretty because of these little brown dots all over my face. But at some point, I just stopped caring. Freckles didn't stop me from getting a boyfriend or graduating from Uni or traveling abroad or getting a great job. I think focusing on what you like about yourself and what you have accomplished is a great way to start rebuilding your confidence and take the focus away from what you don't like about your body.

SarahBeep!

I love my freckles and I love my glasses! I know these are things that lots of people are paranoid about. I really like my nose.

I hate my shape, my weight, my hair that will never be past my shoulders, my hobbit feet.....but at least I can look in the mirror every day and think 'Girl, you are rocking those freckles.'

scallywaggles

There is a good short video about cellulite on upworthy which I can't post Otherwise have a look at the mayoclinic website etc and what they say about cellulite, it's normal in the female human body, you shouldn't be ashamed of it or worry about it, it's just basic human anatomy.

fits

That video is here

http://www.upworthy.com/rip-off-your-pants-and-rejoice-theres-absolutely-nothing-wrong-with-your-thighs

CathyMoran

I would be insecure about my legs as I have to get a bigger size to cope with my thighs though I am only a size 8 at my biggest on my bottom half - my husband always reasures me. I also have scar on my neck, a small one on my nose, a huge one on my front and a huge one on my back from cancer surgery. I am only now wearing backless dresses with ease and that is only because my hair is so long. A few months post surgery I was away and someone made comments and stared and it has taken me a lot to get over it but I am still here. I do feel that body issues are normal, everyoneI know dislikes some part of their body.

I majorly hate my legs. I hate the size of them. I hate that they have cellulite. I hate that they wobble when I walk. Funny thing is I still wear relatively short skirts but swimsuits are a no no for me. Even shorts are something I would rarely wear.

I hate that I have these "love handle" things above my hip. In pictures it's all that I see (and my massive legs of course).

I hate that my belly isn't smooth and lovely.

What makes me particularly sad is that I'll probably never know what it's like to feel nice in a bikini, to walk along a beach without a sarong or skirt. Feck it, what can ya do!

Strange though, my scars don't bother me. Maybe because I know I can't change them, whereas I feel I should be able to change everything else!

alleystar

Honestly, it's never as bad as you think it is.

I have four older sisters and seriously I've heard every complaint under the sun growing up - about their shape, their weight, their legs, their dress size, ect. I find that once they sort out one issue they start zoning in on another part of their body and freaking out about that. The struggle is endless.

You'll shatter your confidence if you keep focusing on your legs. What stuck out for me in your OP is that you're a healthy BMI for your weight and height and tbh, I think that is commendable. As others said, concentrate on the parts you like (there has to be some) and stop berating yourself over the one's you don't like as much. Life is too short.

LegacyUser

Deleted User wrote: »

I majorly hate my legs. I hate the size of them. I hate that they have cellulite. I hate that they wobble when I walk. Funny thing is I still wear relatively short skirts but swimsuits are a no no for me. Even shorts are something I would rarely wear.

I hate that I have these "love handle" things above my hip. In pictures it's all that I see (and my massive legs of course).

I hate that my belly isn't smooth and lovely.

What makes me particularly sad is that I'll probably never know what it's like to feel nice in a bikini, to walk along a beach without a sarong or skirt. Feck it, what can ya do!

Strange though, my scars don't bother me. Maybe because I know I can't change them, whereas I feel I should be able to change everything else!

I so get what you mean about walking along a beach wearing a bikini without a care in the world. I also feel that I will never get to experience that. I used be very self conscious about my face, always thinking I was ugly. I have overcome that for the most part (I do have down days) so I am hopeful that I will overcome my body issues as well. I know it wasn't that my face suddenly became beautiful over night but that I accepted my looks.

I'm not sure the extra fat is the thing I dislike about my body. I think it's all the unfortunate added extras such as cellulite, stretchmarks, freckles, thread veins, birthmarks, scars. I feel I can lose the weight but can't get rid of those. I look at photos of celebrities and they just don't have these things. But maybe the ones who do just refrain from wearing skimpy clothes. I am exercising more and trying to focus on building strength and my fitness rather than just focusing on improving my physical appearance.

Like one poster mentioned it will take hard work to improve this situation. I have accepted that and at the moment have the motivation to do it. I am going to focus on finding a counsellor who is more suited to my needs at the moment.

whatsagirltodo

whatsagirltodo wrote: »

I'm not sure the extra fat is the thing I dislike about my body. I think it's all the unfortunate added extras such as cellulite, stretchmarks, freckles, thread veins, birthmarks, scars. I feel I can lose the weight but can't get rid of those. I look at photos of celebrities and they just don't have these things. But maybe the ones who do just refrain from wearing skimpy clothes. I am exercising more and trying to focus on building strength and my fitness rather than just focusing on improving my physical appearance.

I'm the same to a degree. Not my freckles though, I like those. And my scars I don't mind at all. But the other marks and bumps and imperfections, I hate them.

Definitely don't go by what the celebrities look like though. They're airbrushed to perfection. If you want to look like that in pictures, you can, just pay for professional photos!

Don't buy or even open magazines. They're filled with nastiness. They will do nothing other than make you hate how you look, they are full of nothing but pictures of people who are too fat, too thin, too tired, too much cellulite, too saggy.

marie12

Get exercising, eat right and drink a lot of water. This will instantly make you feel better. I find cycling brilliant for legs and bum. Massage i heard is very good for cellulite. Maybe don't look at it so often. Be proactive! I've loads of stretch marks and cellulite but i don't give a damn I've seen size 8 women with them so you just got to accept and do your best with food and exercise. I have flabby arms that i used hide but now i bare all as Im exercising a lot and feeling more self confident.
Best of luck, cellulite can be improved so get working on it!

marie12

Do you use tan on your legs to even out the colouring? There are excellent products out there which would cover birth marks etc. There are very good videos on youtube if you want to have a look. Everyone sees things they don't want to see in the light, that's the thing about light Grrr

marie12

marie12 wrote: »

Get exercising, eat right and drink a lot of water. This will instantly make you feel better. I find cycling brilliant for legs and bum. Massage i heard is very good for cellulite. Maybe don't look at it so often. Be proactive! I've loads of stretch marks and cellulite but i don't give a damn I've seen size 8 women with them so you just got to accept and do your best with food and exercise. I have flabby arms that i used hide but now i bare all as Im exercising a lot and feeling more self confident.
Best of luck, cellulite can be improved so get working on it!

I exercise lots, and I eat well, and I drink plenty of water. It's still very hard unfortunately.

I do think I'm getting better with age, I'd like to fully accept my body for what it is instead of seeing the flaws, but it's a life long battle so it's not going to change over night.

marie12

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I exercise lots, and I eat well, and I drink plenty of water. It's still very hard unfortunately.

I do think I'm getting better with age, I'd like to fully accept my body for what it is instead of seeing the flaws, but it's a life long battle so it's not going to change over night.

I don't think it should be a life long battle. Im sure you are a beautiful person inside and out. Sometimes you got to think f?!@ it! Do you think you're a nice, good person? Love yourself a bit more.
It could be genetics (not sure), elasticity of your skin and all that. If you're in the gym ask an instructor about the best exercises for back of thigh area. Treat yourself to a massage. You deserve it.

marie12

marie12 wrote: »

I don't think it should be a life long battle. Im sure you are a beautiful person inside and out. Sometimes you got to think f?!@ it! Do you think you're a nice, good person? Love yourself a bit more.
It could be genetics (not sure), elasticity of your skin and all that. If you're in the gym ask an instructor about the best exercises for back of thigh area. Treat yourself to a massage. You deserve it.

It has been a life long battle though. I'm in my thirties and it has been something I have fought since I was in primary school. It started with me being bullied and being called "fake tits" by boys in my class at 10 years old because I developed earlier than anyone else. I had curves. I hadn't a pick on me, but when you're 12 and with hips and boobs, you look odd.

I love me, I love who I am, but when you are bullied from a young age about how you look, it's hard to get past that.

beks101

Deleted User wrote: »

I love me, I love who I am, but when you are bullied from a young age about how you look, it's hard to get past that.

Oh Whoopsie

That's just not acceptable to me. I have a friend who feels similar, school was a nightmare for her because of bullying and at the grand aul age of 29 she still feels ruled by "what will others think" in almost all aspects of her life. Has zero self-confidence appearance-wise and some of the self-taunting and negativity can be almost jarring to listen to.

What's funny is, and I suspect perhaps similar for you, she's absolutely gorgeous, striking looking, a real heard-turner - likely the very reason why she was bullied in the first place, as she just stood out. Long thick fair hair, big translucent blue eyes like a Barbie doll, tiny little thing, fellas love her. But she doesn't see it at all and if she gains half a pound, she beats herself up relentlessly and focuses on nothing but that. It makes me so sad

Body image wise, I'm hardly a shining beacon of love and light as I've struggled pretty consistently since the dawn of time with eating issues, self-flagellation, self-destructive habits, the works.

I have noticed less of a tendency to beat myself up as I get older though. I live quite a stressful busy life and as daft as it sounds, I just don't have TIME for the relentless negativity and self-defeating thoughts and actions anymore. I don't have time to get lost in my head and I have to focus on being in good enough shape mentally and physically to get into the office at ridiculous AM, or field seven night shifts in a row, or travel last minute for work and deal with eighteen-hour shifts and then get to a wedding in Toronto or a family event in Galway and not be a train wreck. It's hard to do all that AND actively hate and cajole yourself for being weak and fat and ugly, believe me!

Mostly, the intellectual part of me thinks my body is fcuking awesome y compris stretch marks and cellulite and occasional acne and that ten pounds that I'd love to lose; it's just the emotional part that gets in the way. The part of me that uses something tangible, something physical to beat up on because it's the easiest way of projecting a deeper pain and frustration and sadness.

I'm not a supermodel and don't have access to the world's top fitness trainers and nutritionalists and chefs and I don't have professional makeup artists following me around or whipping out airbrushes the second I look less than flawless; and indeed it's not my fecking job to look 'perfect' either. It's my job to be a good person and a hard worker at my job and a taxpayer and a loving daughter and sister and friend and girlfriend. I'm not paid millions of dollars to look better than the general population. I'm sure if it was, I'd do it one million percent like I do anything and I'd be a big glorious ride for all the world to admire.

But I am just one woman trying to live the best life possible for myself. And trying to achieve things that can make me feel happy and proud of who I am. And so are you OP - and so are you Whoopsie! And unfortunately given that we are imperfect human beings that is going to mean a bit of cellulite, a few freckles or birth marks (which I personally think are adorable), a few pounds that you'd love to hack off here or there, an unfortunate photo here and there where you look like you have two chins because of a dodgy camera angle etc etc. So fcuking what! Is that what's going to define you? Is that how people are going to remember you? Is that what's going to be carved on your gravestone - "always struggled with that last ten pounds". Give me a break.

It's funny because I was having a conversation with a male mate of mine about this recently, and he just said, completely innocently and perplexedly "but you're grand like! You're Beks101. You've always been Beks101". It was that simple to him. A few pounds up, a few pounds down, bad skin or flawless skin, makeup or no makeup: I've always been the same person to him and to all my friends. To all the people who love me - to my boyfriend, who is hilariously oblivious to all things weight and image-related and just loves the bones of me and wants to jump me regardless of how bad a hair day I'm having - these issues that we exaggerate in our own heads and spend our lives struggling with and getting miserable about - are just pocket-change to most of everyone else.
They just see YOU, not your cellulite or your "fat ankles" or "big pregnant belly" or whatever the hell it is you're hating on.

So eat as healthily as you can and give your body the exercise it needs and drink lots of water and don't do things that feel bad for your body - but try to accept yourself as you are, right this very second, because you're awake and healthy and alive and kicking and that's all you really need to know. Life is too bloody short!

With tears streaming down my face, I thank you beks101. What a feckin spectacularly amazing, understanding, and above all - true post that is.

Lux23

My legs are awful, that's why dark tights are a lifesaver.

ShiftStorm

Hi OP, I'm sorry to hear you have been feeling so low. From my experience, if this issue keeps you from living your life which it sounds like it does, then it is worth seeing doing something about it. The Marino Therapy Centre is excellent and they are very kind and professional and deal with this area. PM me if you have any questions, I'd be very happy to help.

Good luck x

Paddy Cow

Deleted User wrote: »

Don't buy or even open magazines. They're filled with nastiness. They will do nothing other than make you hate how you look, they are full of nothing but pictures of people who are too fat, too thin, too tired, too much cellulite, too saggy.

Magazines are full of conflicting articles designed to make you feel bad about yourself. There'll be an article saying "Love yourself as you are, you are beautiful" right next to an article "Lose 10lbs in 10 days and get the perfect body you deserve".

Trix

so a little background information about myself. 33, 5ft 4 size 8/10. and seemingly its perfectly acceptable to comment on what i eat and how i look. i was called a skinny b!tch the other day. and "oh you can eat whatever you like" i hear a lot. or "you mustn't eat" blah blah blah. i really do not know what to say to people when they say these things. do they want me to say thank you even though i dont see being called skinny a compliment or a skinny b1tch for that matter.
i have a 9 month old baby and ive noticed that people are almost angry that i went back to the size i was before i was pregnant. someone said to me that they thought i'd had a miscarriage as i dont look like someones that had a baby. i was really upset by this even though my friend(not the person that said it) couldnt understand why it upset me.
i would never, no matter what someones size, comment on their weight. i dont think its ok to call me names because i'm slim but if someone who was overweight was called names it would be the worst thing in the world.
what would happen if i called someone a fat b!tch. i initially said to myself 'oh people are just trying to be nice' but now i just think people are trying to make me feel bad or guilty.
im not sure what my point is here but i just wanted to vent.

kylith

It's jealousy, pure and simple. They want to be slim like you but they don't have either the body type or the willpower to achieve it so, for them, the next best thing is to make you feel bad for having what they don't.

Daenarys

Trix wrote: »

i have a 9 month old baby and ive noticed that people are almost angry that i went back to the size i was before i was pregnant. someone said to me that they thought i'd had a miscarriage as i dont look like someones that had a baby. i was really upset by this even though my friend(not the person that said it) couldnt understand why it upset me.

Sorry they said what to you?!?! Who says something like that?! I would feel exactly like you did if someone said that to me. Unbelievable how ignorant some people can be!

It's like the other poster said, it's pure jealousy.

Trix

Daenarys wrote: »

Sorry they said what to you?!?! Who says something like that?! I would feel exactly like you did if someone said that to me. Unbelievable how ignorant some people can be!

It's like the other poster said, it's pure jealousy.

sorry i wrote that wrong..the girl didnt say it to me directly. she said it to a friend of mine who then said it to me. when she heard i'd had the baby she was surpried as she had seen me recently and assumed "something had happened". why my friend told me this i dont know. i was standing there holding my baby and getting upset thinking about not having her.

Daenarys

Trix wrote: »

sorry i wrote that wrong..the girl didnt say it to me directly. she said it to a friend of mine who then said it to me. when she heard i'd had the baby she was surpried as she had seen me recently and assumed "something had happened". why my friend told me this i dont know. i was standing there holding my baby and getting upset thinking about not having her.

Crikey it doesn't matter whether she said it directly to you or behind your back, it's the most bizarre thing ever but your friend shouldn't have said it to you either. I dunno, some people are just bloody weird and insensitive.

Chin up Trix, you're slim have a lovely new baby be proud of what you have and don't let the haters make you feel guilty for being happy for what you have.

LegacyUser

I have been bullied my entire life (well since 16 - I'm 28 now) about being "too skinny"

I literally HATE when anyone comments on my weight, I've been called every insulting name under the sun e.g that I look like a trocaire box model (cheers) and I didnt actually wear a dress to show off my legs until I was 24.

I hate women that make ME feel bad for being born the way I was. Slim runs in my family. All my brothers were slim, until their metabolism slowed down when they hit their 30's and they can put on weight easily now.

I hate going to doctors as they constantly eye me suspiciously and question "are you eating?" "are you sure you ate today" blah blah blah

Then one doctor told me after many many tests, since I actually thought there was something wrong with me, that I have a super-super fast metabolism like he's never seen.

So since the age of about 25/26 I kinda just learned to accept who I am, and just know that there are jealous bitches out there who hate me because of how vain they are. They are shallow, and cruel. The years I spent depressed because of how I looked are years I wont get back.

I'm sorry for ranting folks, it's just still a touchy subject with me and I still find it hard to ignore all the hurt I went through because other women cant keep their opinions to themselves.

The best is my boss, she is a classic, seriously insecure woman who just cannot help herself. And everyday she comments on my body. Not in a nice way, I can actually see the green eyed monster appear on her face in seconds.


I could write a list as long as my arm about the stuff that's been said, but at this stage I need to let it all go and just accept me for being me.

Trix

Hey OP wrote: »

I have been bullied my entire life (well since 16 - I'm 28 now) about being "too skinny"

I literally HATE when anyone comments on my weight, I've been called every insulting name under the sun e.g that I look like a trocaire box model (cheers) and I didnt actually wear a dress to show off my legs until I was 24.

I hate women that make ME feel bad for being born the way I was. Slim runs in my family. All my brothers were slim, until their metabolism slowed down when they hit their 30's and they can put on weight easily now.

I hate going to doctors as they constantly eye me suspiciously and question "are you eating?" "are you sure you ate today" blah blah blah

Then one doctor told me after many many tests, since I actually thought there was something wrong with me, that I have a super-super fast metabolism like he's never seen.

So since the age of about 25/26 I kinda just learned to accept who I am, and just know that there are jealous bitches out there who hate me because of how vain they are. They are shallow, and cruel. The years I spent depressed because of how I looked are years I wont get back.

I'm sorry for ranting folks, it's just still a touchy subject with me and I still find it hard to ignore all the hurt I went through because other women cant keep their opinions to themselves.

The best is my boss, she is a classic, seriously insecure woman who just cannot help herself. And everyday she comments on my body. Not in a nice way, I can actually see the green eyed monster appear on her face in seconds.


I could write a list as long as my arm about the stuff that's been said, but at this stage I need to let it all go and just accept me for being me.

people can be really nasty. why people cant just focus on their own health and wellbeing and not comment/judge or be envious of someone else. but gl to hear that you have risen above it and really its other people with the problem.

Threads merged

ShiftStorm

I think it's outrageous that people think they can talk to you like that because you're slim. That miscarriage comment was a pole-vault over the line!

I am overweight so I am no longer deemed a "threat" to people insecure about their weight so instead of biting comments about whether I'm eating enough like I used to get, I now get chummy "we're all fat girls in this together" comments about dieting, being 'good' and "real women have curves" nonsense.

Eh no, all it takes to be a "real woman" is to have a vagina.

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

December2012

I don't know if I've posted this before - but I'm tall and when I was younger I was slim, both from genetics and doing sport.

The amount of times I was called a skinny "b@tch", skinny c€nt, anorexic, or other offensive "compliments" is countless. One girl told me I looked like a Biafran famine victim. She was a friend of a friend and I didn't have the confidence to say anything to her.

Talking about food or health I'm met with jealousy or acusations of being unreasonable (I'm in my 30s now and I want to be healthy, strong and fit too - desire for optimum health or appearance is not limited to women who are overweight!)

I've been told I've no tits because I'm so skinny, called skin and bone and no arse.

Mainly these were said by insecure women that I knew (friends sisters, etc).

But the thing that tops it was one night when I was a teenager and a girl (a stranger) started screaming in my face that I was the reason "girls like her felt bad about themselves". She started to get a bit physical and I got away from her (she started on me while I was in the ladies toilets).

My male friend met me outside the toilets and didn't leave my side that night.

This girl felt entitled to harass me because of her insecurity? That's bonkers.

And I'm sad to say it did affect me as a teenager.

I've thicker skin now though.

Wibbs

December2012 wrote: »

IBut the thing that tops it was one night when I was a teenager and a girl (a stranger) started screaming in my face that I was the reason "girls like her felt bad about themselves".

TBH I might have had a hard time believing you D only I witnessed with my own eyes and ears an almost identical exchange on three separate occasions aimed at three different slim women over the years and worse if possible, these weren't teenagers involved. Mad.