Honest answer please re the money issue... MOD WARNING POST#53

mozattack

Okay, be honest but given that wedding invites are basically an expensive ticket nowadays how many people run their wedding like a business?

For example €140 guests and €100 per person present = €14,000 less hotel, less photos = €2,000 profit, Yippie?

I ask because I am having a small ceremony but it happens to be in a castle and with canapes, drink or three, meal of our choice, cake etc it will cost around €60-€70 per person for the entertainment alone and despite us having no money we are making a point to the guests that no presents are welcome' "your presence is present enough"

We could easily invite another 80 guests and probably break even whereas now we will "down" €1,500 or so on the meal etc.

michellie

I am not running mine like a business, if we get cash presents it will be a bonus, we are not going to be depending on them. We are by no means loaded with money but are saving hard for it.

Milly33

Ohh yours sounds nice can I go.. I think the presence is the present is lovely to say to guests as some have really cut the budget tight to make it on your day so it is nice to know that the offer is there. We done it for a two big parties for my parents last year and they still ended up getting a few quid from it.

At the beginning I would never have counted the gifts people give into the scenario, hated the thought of thinking we were guessing how much people would give.. But in the plans it has actually come up. Saying well we are inviting this many people they will at least give €100 or something each but I still hate thinking like that...

More on the lines of im paying what to feed people haha but then your inviting them and planning the food so that's each to their own

Faith

We haven't given a second's thought to gifts, and I hate the assumption that all couples do factor that in. We're paying €99 per head at a minimum for drinks and food, and we're doing it because we can afford to and it's within our budget - not because we'll make it back. We want our guests to have as great a day as we do, not to feel like they're being milked as cash cows.

kkcatlou

You almost sound like you've come on here for praise, for everybody else to say how great you are, but really you're just lucky to be in a financial situation where you can afford to do the above.

We're in a similar situation to you, but I'd never gloat about it. We've 160 people coming to our wedding, and will spend about €35k on it, so no chance we would "make back" or "make a profit" on the wedding, and would never want or intend to.

That said, for a lot of couples in Ireland now, that is the reality of the situation. And come with all the moral arguments you want, in our culture it's accepted to give €100 or equivalent as a wedding gift, so if you aren't in a position to be able to save €20k+ over the space of a year or two, then it's not greedy/ selfish/ stupid to assume that you will be able to pay off some of the costs with gift money. For a lot of people, they would wonder what is the point in having excess cash the day after, when the scarified some big elements on the day itself just cos they didn't want to assume they would get gifts?!

Personally, it's not my style, and I'd feel very nervous banking on cash from individual guests to pay for my wedding, but for the majority of people I know who have gotten married (especially in their 20s) this was a reality they had to face....to have the day they wanted! It seems a bit unfair to say only those earning over a certain level or with rich parents should be able to have all their friends and family and a nice meal at their wedding!

Also, I have never heard of any couple making a profit from their wedding!! I can't logistically see how you would! I think that was an Eddie Hobbs myth from the Celtic Tiger days!

drumswan

kkcatlou wrote: »

I can't logistically see how you would!

Not spending 35k would be a good start

kkcatlou

drumswan wrote: »

Not spending 35k would be a good start

If making a profit was your goal...

NashD

I can't see how anyone could make a profit from their wedding - whether that is the aim or not. Between dresses/suits/entertainment.... and I would hate to think anybody had that motive...

I was shocked at the amount of people who told us the done thing was to open the cards the morning after the wedding to pay the hotel. We did not plan our wedding that way. Whilst presents are somewhat inevitable - we planned the wedding we could afford to pay for. We were fortunate to be in such a position.

ronjo

kkcatlou wrote: »

If making a profit was your goal...

but isnt that what you asked?

kkcatlou

ronjo wrote: »

but isnt that what you asked?

No!

Typer Monkey

We have to pay 90% of the hotel bill before the wedding day. Most of the suppliers have been paid a deposit with the balance payable on the day. The honeymoon has to be paid in full 2 months before the wedding as does my dress and the fella's suit so not having the money available in advance is a non runner.

You do sound like you're fishing for a big old pat on the back there though OP so here ya go...fair play, you're morally superior to those people hoping for cash gifts

Berty

I do run my wedding like a business, but a non profit business.

We've saved every cent for our wedding, received two gifts already totalling a good few €k but we'd still be able to pay for the wedding without that money.

That's just how we wanted to have it, no loan and not hoping to get money from anybody to help pay for it.

eviltwin

I didn't end up in profit from my wedding, never even considered that tbh, is this something people actually do? :eek:

rainbow kirby

We're saving beforehand and not spending the earth, also most likely going to have our honeymoon 3 months after the wedding. Gifts are gifts, we're not relying on them to pay for the wedding!

Chattastrophe!

As far as I know it costs €200 to get married in Ireland.

Anything over that is just embellishment. If it's your thing, fine, fair enough, but don't be expecting your guests to be covering any part of the cost of your party!

ABajaninCork

You expect a profit from your wedding??? I thought the day was to celebrate the joining of two people who want to spend the rest of their lives together with a bit of a party (if you want) afterwards with your mates and family...

Perhaps I got that wrong then!

Typer Monkey

No basically the OP is saying he doesn't expect to make a profit and doesn't that make him brilliant altogether. No one is saying they want to make a profit

theteal

This crap bugs me about weddings and it's why we're explicitly stating that we don't want gifts of any sort, we just want people to be there. I'd hate to be the root source of one of those 'how much should we give?" threads.

drumswan

theteal wrote: »

This crap bugs me about weddings and it's why we're explicitly stating that we don't want gifts of any sort,

Have you given gifts of cash to other people when they had a wedding?

emzolita

I don't think anyone is sayin they're relying on presents.

However I hate the attitude of some people towards couples spending thousands on their wedding. If you wanna spend a lot on your wedding and you have the money, Go for it, it's your day, do what you want.

Milly33

His just putting it out there, cant say it hasn't crossed everyones mind.... it is all up to you what you do but it is a given that people give gifts. Now I am not saying I am waiting on the millions to come pouring in from guests I just want a great fun day with swing ball.. But it is just one of those things..

Chattastrophe!

Milly33 wrote: »

His just putting it out there, cant say it hasn't crossed everyones mind.... it is all up to you what you do but it is a given that people give gifts. Now I am not saying I am waiting on the millions to come pouring in from guests I just want a great fun day with swing ball.. But it is just one of those things..

So you'll be cool with it if everyone gives photo frames and toasters and lovely thoughtful homemade gifts?

eviltwin

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

So you'll be cool with it if everyone gives photo frames and toasters and lovely thoughtful homemade gifts?

The best gift I got in my life ever was a relationship scrapbook given to me on my wedding day, money and gifts are much appreciated but something unique and thoughtful like that can't be beat.

PlainP

Where's OP going with his €100 pp?

€100 per couple?! Or am I just really stingy?

.jacksparrow.

NashD wrote: »

I can't see how anyone could make a profit from their wedding - whether that is the aim or not. Between dresses/suits/entertainment.... and I would hate to think anybody had that motive...

I was shocked at the amount of people who told us the done thing was to open the cards the morning after the wedding to pay the hotel. We did not plan our wedding that way. Whilst presents are somewhat inevitable - we planned the wedding we could afford to pay for. We were fortunate to be in such a position.

Most hotels wouldn't allow that.

ABajaninCork

No, I don't believe that either. A. No venue will take payment after the event. B. What happens if you come up short??

kkcatlou

PlainP wrote: »

Where's OP going with his €100 pp?

€100 per couple?! Or am I just really stingy?

Check this for your answer http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057197788

Berty

ABajaninCork wrote: »

No, I don't believe that either. A. No venue will take payment after the event. B. What happens if you come up short??

My hotel has so far been paid 50% of the minimum and will expect to be settled upon check out. They're a big hotel, do lots of weddings and it standard practice for them. So in some cases it is possible for people to open the cards for paying the morning after.

kkcatlou

Milly33 wrote: »

His just putting it out there, cant say it hasn't crossed everyones mind.... it is all up to you what you do but it is a given that people give gifts. Now I am not saying I am waiting on the millions to come pouring in from guests I just want a great fun day with swing ball.. But it is just one of those things..

I don't think you're unique Milly33, I think it's just something a lot of people are afraid/ embarrassed to admit to (especially here anyway). I think if the wedding day you dreamed of is important to you and you can figure out a way to pay for it (even if that includes adding in expected gift money), then that's your prerogative, and it's not right for other people to judge or look down their noses! It's really saying that only rich people should have fancy weddings!

Teyla Emmagan

Your wedding sounds lovely OP and I am sure your guests will appreciate the sentiments on the invite.

35k on a wedding though *eeek*

MadDog76

PlainP wrote: »

Where's OP going with his €100 pp?

€100 per couple?! Or am I just really stingy?

Any wedding myself and my wife attended we gave 200 euros minimum ......... is that not standard these days?