sisters

I love my sisters to bits and they have been a great support to me recently.

When I was visiting an elderly relative of mine recently, she said to me I never had a sister and I though how sad to be still bothered at 72 about the fact you never had a sister.

So does every one think sister are great.

Gongoozler

No not everybody has a family they get on well with. I suppose of all my family, I'd get on best with my sister, but that seems to imply I get on somewhat well, but I don't. She has no interest in me, simple as that really.

I'm glad I didn't have a sister. My family is super competitive, in everything; at least I didn't have to compete with the guys in strength, sports, looks, success with the opposite sex, etc. - the way the two guys competed with each other. I don't really get along with my brothers now as adults, we wouldn't talk or socialise outside of family events, I genuinely think with a sister, I would have even more difficulties.

Legs.Eleven

I absolutely adore the ground my two sisters walk on.

This might sound biased but they're two of the loveliest people I've ever met in my life. Everyone loves the two of them and they're just two very good human beings.

My mother died when I was young and my oldest sister moved home from the States temporarily in her early twenties to look after my dad and myself (the rest of my siblings lived in the States) sacrificing her own life for a few years. She's such an incredible person. I've tried to thank her a few times for what she did but I don't think she understands just how grateful I am to her. Looking back from the age I am now, what she did was so selfless for someone her age (for someone of any age) when she was going through her own pain and her own personal and quite serious problems at that time. She's an incredible person.

I'm closest to the other one though as she's the one I've seen the most over the years as she moved back to Ireland a good few years ago (the other one is still in the States). She's really been there for me over the years in every way possible and is always so supportive and encouraging in everything I do. We get along fantastically and she's such good craic and always happy and smiley. She's really adored by everyone and I really feel privileged to have her in my life.

Love the pair of them and would've been absolutely lost without the two of them. I want to do something for both of them some day to show my thanks. I could really continue gushing about the two of them all night but I have my dinner to make. My sisters are the absolute business.

dharma200

I have a sister, we are completely different and as another poster has said, has very little interest in me.
it use to upset me.. now it doesn't. I have found relying on oneself is the best strategy in life so far x

Ambersky

I love my sisters and it is a bond that I guess remains for life. No matter what happens we are still sisters and no one else goes back that far into each others pasts. The problem is I think that no one else goes back that far into the past that shaped us, that competed for attention and love and in which we each took our respective roles in the family dynamic.

One day I was helping to take care of some children when one little girl came running up to me crying and saying " Alice ( her sister) says she HATES me".
For some reason her upset stuck in my mind. I guess thats life no one loves you like a sister and sometimes no one hates you like a sister either but she is still your sister so you've got to get use to it. Part of being a sister is it is with her you can learn (or not learn) to sort out those kinds of emotions in relationship.

baby and crumble

I don't have sisters, and it never bothered me. Although, I will say since my mum passed away it is weird being the only girl- I don't have any aunts or anything either.

The day after my Mum passed away one of he local ladies rang the house and asked for me, to see did I want sandwiches and cake after the funeral, and for how many people. She basically said 'I thought I'd ask for you since you're the woman of the house now' which totally freaked me out!!!

Princess Peach

I have a very tumultuous relationship with my sister. She has a very odd temperament and we have had fights that led to us not talking for months.

She is such a different person to me with pretty much the opposite interests. Things she loves are things I hate. If we were the same age and in school or work together I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be hanging out as friends.

But we get on well a lot of the time. But enough age gap so I can't say we are close, as in talking about anything personal. I guess you can say we have a sisterly bond in that often we can get along despite having nothing in common. But at the same time sometimes the relationship feels a bit contrived, feeling we should have a relationship with someone we have nothing in common with because we are sisters (this is mostly from her side I think, she could weeks not answering my texts). I feel like the basis of our relationship is just nostalgia from childhood and not really grounded in our current lives if you get me.

I dunno, it's a weird one. Sisters are people and not everyone gets a great one. My mam always uses that "I always wanted a sister" line to get the two of us to be better friends

Lisha

My sister broke my heart. Utterly utterly broke me into pieces.
Yes I miss the closeness we had but I'm not risking getting hurt like that again.

I suppose the lady in the op misses something she never had. Reality can be slightly different

LegacyUser

I have 4 sisters, one of them is my twin, and I absolutely love them all. The bond we have is much greater than the bond I have with my bros. I dont know what I would do without them, they're my best friends. I hope that if I ever have daughters theyll be lucky enough to be best friends too. My mam has a load of sisters and theyre all really close too.

I feel really luck to have the sisters I have

LegacyUser

I have 4 sisters, one of them is my twin, and I absolutely love them all. The bond we have is much greater than the bond I have with my bros. I dont know what I would do without them, they're my best friends. I hope that if I ever have daughters theyll be lucky enough to be best friends too. My mam has a load of sisters and theyre all really close too.

I feel really luck to have the sisters I have

NiCiarain

I have 4 sisters, one of them is my twin, and I absolutely love them all. The bond we have is much greater than the bond I have with my bros. I dont know what I would do without them, they're my best friends. I hope that if I ever have daughters theyll be lucky enough to be best friends too. My mam has a load of sisters and theyre all really close too.

I feel really luck to have the sisters I have

eviltwin

my sister and i don't have a relationship, we're very different, she is very judgemental and negative and i can't handle that kind of toxicity. we're both happier keeping our distance.

rainbow kirby

We're very different people, there is a big age gap (9 years) between us, but we actually get on quite well.

Raminahobbin

I don't have any sisters (3 brothers) and I can't say I've particularly felt the lack of one at any point, to be honest. In a lot of ways I'm glad I was an only girl, I'd say we would have been at each others throats if she had existed.

LegacyUser

I have 2 sisters. And I am complete opposite to them. And we are actually all quite toxic to eachother. The 2 of them have a real love/hate relationship. Both would bitch about each other (Id listen like a fool) and then they'd both turn on me.

It is/was like dealing with children. I no longer have contact with them. They may be my sisters, but I dont have to like them.

They are both married (with children) and I love my nieces/nephews alot. But the toxicity has over flowed onto them.

I found over the years, to me, they are actually quite selfish people. And basically used me. Took me along time to cop onto this. When I finally realised and grew a backbone to stand up to them, the damage was already done.

The otherside of it is is that I have a sister in law, who also rarely acknowledges I exist, and both think the sun shines out of her bottom. She is the third sister.

December2012

I'm very close to my sisters and my brothers. I can't say either is better.

XxMCRxBabyxX

Not having a sister has never bothered me. I'm interested by the general feeling of this thread though. Is the sisterly bond solely a female thing or do men feel the same about they
their sisters? I know that I can see small similarities between my relationships with my brothers and those described here.

strobe

eviltwin wrote: »

my sister and i don't have a relationship, we're very different, she is very judgemental and negative and i can't handle that kind of toxicity. we're both happier keeping our distance.

Sorry, but I have to ask, it's probably overstepping. But are you twins or is it just a name? Tell me to mind my own business if you want. Sorry if it's an intrusive question.

Malari

eviltwin wrote: »

my sister and i don't have a relationship, we're very different, she is very judgemental and negative and i can't handle that kind of toxicity. we're both happier keeping our distance.

My sister is like this too - judgemental and difficult and contrary and vitriolic. But we are closer now than we ever were and sometimes spend hours talking on the phone. Mom thinks there's some sort of jealousy going on but my sister would never agree and she disdains most of my lifestyle choices. Maybe she would never be my friend but she is my sister and I love her.

Karmella

I also have 3 brothers and no sister. Being the only girl never really bothered me as I have a couple of very close friends who I think of as family However my mother passed away some years ago and as I'm going through a lot at the moment (pregnancy & marriage breakdown) I'm really starting to feel the void of female familial influence / support. I can't help feeling that maybe if I had a sister she would be able to help me more than my brothers. But equally I guess there is no guarantee that we would be remotely close!! Of my brothers I'm only close with one, and incidentally he has been great these past few months so maybe I'm just over thinking it....

hairyprincess

Karmella wrote: »

I also have 3 brothers and no sister. Being the only girl never really bothered me as I have a couple of very close friends who I think of as family However my mother passed away some years ago and as I'm going through a lot at the moment (pregnancy & marriage breakdown) I'm really starting to feel the void of female familial influence / support. I can't help feeling that maybe if I had a sister she would be able to help me more than my brothers. But equally I guess there is no guarantee that we would be remotely close!! Of my brothers I'm only close with one, and incidentally he has been great these past few months so maybe I'm just over thinking it....

I've been in your position, if I can help, just holler.

I have two sisters, both have lived abroad since I was little, they are a fair bit older then me. I get along very well with one, not so much with the other one - we are complete opposites.
I would have loved to have had a sister growing up though, I felt very alone in a house of boys.

Bobsammy

I have two sisters and they're both great.
I would tell them anything.

I'm closer to my younger sister as we're more similar. I think she feels like she's always living in my shadow as we've gone down the same path academically and anything she has done so far I've done before. She's doing the same degree I did and has picked the same specialty. She's six years younger than me though so I don't feel like there's any comparison but I know she feels pressure to do as well as I did.
We think about things in the same way and seem to approach life with the same attitude.

My other sister is closer in age to me but we've never been quite as close. We're just different personalities and both very stubborn so we can clash at times. We both think we're always right which doesn't always end well! We still get on well though.

I think no-one will ever know you quite like your sisters do because no-one else has shared so much with you. We have a brother and he's great but it's definitely not the same relationship as I have with my sisters even though we're the closest in age. I hope I'll always maintain that closeness with my sisters.

eviltwin

strobe wrote: »

Sorry, but I have to ask, it's probably overstepping. But are you twins or is it just a name? Tell me to mind my own business if you want. Sorry if it's an intrusive question.

No there are a few years between us. The way I look at it your siblings are really just an accident of birth, there is no guarantee that you will be close especially as you get older and I think part of the problem was we were constantly pushed to do things together growing up just because we share parents. If she wasn't family I wouldn't have any contact with her because she is the type of person I usually go out of my way to avoid and I would say the feeling is mutual. And that's okay. I have some great female friends to call on if I need a girlie moment. Whoever said blood is thicker than water hadn't met my family.

December2012

Karmella wrote: »

I also have 3 brothers and no sister. Being the only girl never really bothered me as I have a couple of very close friends who I think of as family However my mother passed away some years ago and as I'm going through a lot at the moment (pregnancy & marriage breakdown) I'm really starting to feel the void of female familial influence / support. I can't help feeling that maybe if I had a sister she would be able to help me more than my brothers. But equally I guess there is no guarantee that we would be remotely close!! Of my brothers I'm only close with one, and incidentally he has been great these past few months so maybe I'm just over thinking it....

Sorry to hijack Karmella - that's a lot on your plate. Hormones and pregnancy can make relationships tougher - do you think that marriage counselling would help you?

lazygal

As I've gotten older I get on better with siblings. I often hear parents talk about their children having siblings as so positive and they'll be great company. I've two close in age and I'm under no illusions that just because they're related they'll be best buddies.

confusticated

I get on really well with my sister, but she's a lot younger than me, so I dunno about all the stuff people are saying about nobody going that far back with you...like I've been friends with one of my best friends since before she was born, and we're practically a different generation, so I'm not sure that applies.

I hope we are friends when she's all grown up too though.

I lost my only sister to a degenerative neurological disease a few years ago. I miss her every single day.

It is a vacuum that no one can ever fill again, and I will always feel her loss. I am less of a person without her.

Legs.Eleven

Candie wrote: »

I lost my only sister to a degenerative neurological disease a few years ago. I miss her every single day.

It is a vacuum that no one can ever fill again, and I will always feel her loss. I am less of a person without her.

I didn't know that, Candie. I'm really so sorry for your loss. x

How so Joe

I've two sisters - one older, one younger, a three year gap to each of them. I love both of them to pieces, and would do anything for them.

I'm close to both of them, but get on better with my younger sister - we have a lot of the same interests and taste in books, film, tv, etc, and just click really well.
My older sister is fantastic, too, though, I know she's always there for me. We just clash more than my younger sister and I - different personalities.

I've a brother too, but even though my sisters are in Ireland, and my brother and I are in London, I'm not half as close to him - we're just siblings, and not friends. It's a different bond, even though I do love him.
I hope I'm always as close to my sisters as I am now - my gran and her sisters used to keep in close contact until they died, and I'd love to be able to say the same about myself and my sisters.

fussyonion

I don't have a relationship with my sister. Even writing this makes me sad.

We're totally different people.
I'm always in a good mood, optimistic, I look on the bright side, I do things for people, I'm a good listener and I'm generally a good natured person.

She's a moaner; moans about everything, interrupts people when they talk..even our parents..snaps at them and treats them terribly.

I know she has no interest in having a relationship with me so I have to accept it, even though it's heartbreaking.

If something happened to my parents, I doubt it would bring us closer.

I can see us leading separate lives for the rest of our lives and it's sad because we were best friends as kids.

Raminahobbin

I think, like Karmella, if I'm going to ever feel the lack of a sister it will be after my mother passes. She's kinda the emotional supportive glue that holds the family together, and I've always been very independent. I think the family will drift wider without her, and the dynamic between my brothers and I will mean I won't necessarily step into her shoes and rally everyone together, so to speak.

Maybe if I had had a sister, the gender balance would have been more equal, and there would be a stronger bond there between us all, instead of ME v. THE LADS.

Ms. Koi

I have one sister who is just under 3 years younger than me and I would be lost without her. We have completely different interests and ideas but it works with us. Yeah we row but that's normal. She is incredible at what she does and I am super proud of her achievements.
We don't discuss every single thing in our lives but we do in another sense. I know I can always turn to her if I needed support and vive versa!
She lives abroad now and I do miss the closeness but Skype is a glorious thing!

How so Joe

kellief wrote: »

I have one sister who is just under 3 years younger than me and I would be lost without her. We have completely different interests and ideas but it works with us. Yeah we row but that's normal. She is incredible at what she does and I am super proud of her achievements.
We don't discuss every single thing in our lives but we do in another sense. I know I can always turn to her if I needed support and vive versa!
She lives abroad now and I do miss the closeness but Skype is a glorious thing!

Can't argue with that - Skype is a magnificent thing!

DoozerT6

Sometimes I think I would have liked a sister, as I don't have a close, best-friend relationship with my mother, although we get on fine. I don't share feelings or personal information with her though, that just isn't me. Of course, as we all know, you're not guaranteed a good relationship with sisters but sometimes I think it would be lovely to have a sister I did get on well with, as I also find it difficult to maintain close female friendships long-term. I find I don't have very much in common with women my own age and there are certain areas of life I just don't talk about, namely relationships.

I do have two brothers, both live abroad, I get on grand with both but we would not be in regular contact. I really only talk to them when I'm at home with the parents and they ring them. I think were anything to happen to my parents, we would all have to make a real effort not to lose touch with each other, as our parents are the cornerstone to our relationship/contact with each other.

meeeeh

I don't have a sister and never wanted one really. I have a brother with who is great but a bit of geographical distance probably helps our relationship. I am temperamental, impatient and loud. He is very introverted to the point that my father would be asking his friends about what is going on in his life although they see each other every day. I don't fall out with people or hold grudges, he is a lot more sensitive. We have very similar opinion of other people, probably very similar political views (I am probably a bit more liberal) but we always clash when we are spending too much time together. It's harmless, the longest feud lasted a day. I love my brother and I like seeing him when I do.

Frito

I have a sister and a brother, we are all close to each other.

Being the eldest I naturally miss having an older sibling! I would have liked one growing up.

Karmella

December2012 wrote: »

Sorry to hijack Karmella - that's a lot on your plate. Hormones and pregnancy can make relationships tougher - do you think that marriage counselling would help you?

We are well beyond that stage unfortunately, but thanks. Counselling only works when both parties are willing to be honest....

December2012

Karmella wrote: »

We are well beyond that stage unfortunately, but thanks. Counselling only works when both parties are willing to be honest....

Sorry to hear that. You might get something out of it if you go yourself - please mind yourself as much as you can

SarahBeep!

Are there any only children here?

I definitely feel like I missed out, not having any siblings. I really felt on my own sometimes, and still do when something family related happens.

I do, however, have my amazing second cousin Sarah. Our Mam's are cousins and she's the best surrogate sister I could ever ask for. I don't know what I'd ever do without her and I really miss not being in the same city as her.

Mars Bar

My sister is three and a half years younger than me. I actually don't have a whole load of memories of us when we were growing up apart from the odd few but I know when I was a teenager, I found her incredibly irritating and when she was a teenager too. Once she got to 15 or 16 and started growing up and finding herself, I got to like her more and more.

We get on fantastically now. We're quite different in that she's a hard worker and I am less so and she's more extroverted than I am. We like to do similar things but our tastes would be very different (music, reading, T.V etc…). She's not a hugely sporty person like me but she understands golf and has a minor interest in football (she could hold a conversation).
She has a wicked sense of humour too so that's good.

She's in England now and I'm looking forward to seeing her sometime soon before I leave.

I'm glad we get on seeing as there is only the two of us.

I wish I had a brother, older or younger, though.

rannerap

I have a younger brother and sister. There is four years between me and my sister and six between me and my brother. While we all get on great my brother and sister are much closer to each other because of the small age gap between them, and I think also because they are both gay that have that shared experience. They always do stuff together etc. I do stuff with my sister too but not nearly as much. I always felt left out growing up and even now that they have each other and I'm by myself

kylith

I have no sisters and I would really love to have one. There are some things you need to talk about that are too personal for friends and too private for mothers.

miamee

I have two younger sisters and get on well with both of them. Unfortunately up to recently they did not get on very well together so I would rarely do things with both of them, just one or the other. That seems to be changing a little though so fingers crossed they get along well soon, enough to have sisters day out or something
The youngest one is still in college so we are world's apart in some ways (I am 12 years older than her) but personality wise, we are probably more similar than the other sister and I. Our parents referred to us as the twins for a while, lol.

As far as family things are concerned myself and the older of my two sisters usually end up organising things - presents, get togethers etc. for everyone else. It's nice that we can share that responsibility as it's tough to do on your own. She is 5 years younger than me so none of us are close in age, we never were in the same school at the same time for example. I think that is something we missed out on but as you get older age difference doesn't matter as much.

tiny_penguin

I have 2 sisters, one who is just over 4 years older and the other is just over 3 years younger.

I am so much closer to my younger sister. We are so different and fight a lot but she is one of my best friends and would be absolutely lost without her. We have always been close growing up and from when she was around 3 we had a lot of friends who were siblings with the same age gap which made it easier. I actually think I stayed a little more innocent because I was always hanging out with not only my friends but withour younger siblings too.

My older sister and me are not close at all. I idolised her growing up but as soon as she got to a certain age she didn't really want her baby sister in tow and thats when we lost the closeness. She is so different to me and can be very judgmental and stubborn. When I started secondary school within a week she had decided who i should be friends with in my year and was hugely disappointed with the friends I actually chose. I think I always craved her approval and never got it and it bred a lot of resentment between us. She was always the one my parents got on best with so it would always be me and my younger sister against them which again bred more and more resentment. We have tried over the years to get closer but we just have very little to talk about if its just to 2 of us.

She moved to the other side of the world about 7 years ago and we would only really talk when i am at my parents house and they are on skype with her. She had a baby last year and we did try a bit harder organising skype calls just to 2 of us but it has fallen a bit to the wayside. Don't get me wrong I love my sister and would do absolutely anything for her, but i feel that even though she lives on the other side of the world I don't find myself missing her because we wouldn't see each other or talk any more if she lived down the road.

My younger and older sister are quite close. There was never any expectation of them being friends growing up because the age difference was so big and i think that has worked in their favour a lot. They had a very different dynamic and didn't really start having a friendship relationship until both were older and I do find myself a little jealous of this sometimes. But you can't force a relationship thats not there and I am just lucky and I am close to the younger one.

beks101

I'm the middle of three girls, the eldest of whom we lost in all ways but physically about fifteen years ago. She's got a crippling mental illness and is just a shadow of the person she used to be when we were kids, which has been a sadness and loss for the family beyond what any of us could have anticipated.

As a result I've sort of found myself in a makeshift 'big sister' role to the youngest, who was just a child when all of this happened. She's in her mid-late twenties now but I still think of her as that hyperactive eleven year old with the skittish laughter and permanent smile on her face.

I always think of her as the version of me that I would like to be. We are uncannily similar in appearance and have the same tone of voice and mannerisms, but she was always extroverted and emotional to my introverted and self-protective - and I like that she never really lost that innocence, that innate tendency to wear her heart on her sleeve and start from a template of trust with the new people in her life.

She's adorable and loveable and a ray of sunshine and force of energy to anyone she meets. She's the kind of person who makes every room she walks into a happier, more fun-filled place, and she has a kindness and generosity that is unparalleled. She would quite literally give you the shirt off her back.

Growing up I always felt her eyes looked to me to set an example, to be the sisterly influence she needed, and sometimes I feel a burden of guilt that I haven't quite been who I've needed to be. I've had a lot of my own struggles. And I can see the bad traits and habits and thought patterns that she seems to have picked up from me - body image issues, tendency to beat herself up, self-deprecation, self doubt.

But she adores me in ways that I don't quite understand. She gushes about me to her friends, she refers to me constantly, defends me aggressively to anyone who attempts to wrong me and calls me every time she needs advice, be it a lost iphone or an aRsehole boyfriend.

She is just a gorgeous, exceptional human being inside and out, and no-one in this world is good enough for her. I feel we've had to be a bit of a team to field the heartache we dealt with at a young age and that sort of bonded us in a way that has deeply impacted both of our lives.

I can't really think of anyone I love as much as my younger sister.

biddywiddy

SarahBeep! wrote: »

Are there any only children here?

I definitely feel like I missed out, not having any siblings. I really felt on my own sometimes, and still do when something family related happens.

I do, however, have my amazing second cousin Sarah. Our Mam's are cousins and she's the best surrogate sister I could ever ask for. I don't know what I'd ever do without her and I really miss not being in the same city as her.

I'm an only child too. I definitely feel like I have missed out on something by not having siblings. Like SarahBeep!, I felt alone a lot growing up, and I still do in some ways.

As my parents are getting older, I feel a pressure to be there for them - not a pressure that comes from them, but something I just feel myself. I know their hearts broke a little when I emigrated, and they can't wait until I move back to Ireland (whenever that will be - it's not something I'm considering much yet).

Being an only child definitely affected my personality growing up - I felt like all my parents' hopes and dreams were resting on my shoulders. This created a lot of anxiety for me - grades in school, exam results, making good choices, picking good friends, etc

I would have loved to have a sister or two. My dream combination was an older brother and a younger sister.

Lia_lia

I have a half sister that lives in France with my Dad. She is 9 years younger than me, and I only see her these days once every 3-4 years It's nice seeing her. She was over about a month ago with my Dad. It's kinda weird seeing her as every time I see her she is so grown up! She looks nothing like me, she is the image of her Mother. I also have a half brother (her brother) and we look quite similar. She is quite similar to me when I was a teenager. Shy and quiet. I grew out of that though...

I am very close with my brother (in Ireland!), I suppose because we grew up together. And there is only 3 years between us. He wrecks my head sometimes though.

Big Bag of Chips

kylith wrote: »

I have no sisters and I would really love to have one. There are some things you need to talk about that are too personal for friends and too private for mothers.

I have 2 sisters, and never tell them anything personal or private! I have 2 excellent friends for that job.

I often think if my sisters weren't my sisters they wouldn't be my friends. There's nothing necessarily wrong with them, (or me!) we're just completely different people. We get on well enough. We're just not close. I'm much closer to one of my brothers, though.

AulBiddy

I have one sister, there's a 13 year age gap between us (I'm nearly 18, she's 31). I don't feel close with her at all - she is also only my half sister... It's very hard to tell how she feels and has a guard up all the time and much like my mother rarely shows affection . I'm not saying that I have a bad mother or sister - they just prefer to keep their emotions under wraps. It kind of makes me sad, I wish we were a lot closer but I feel the age gap leaves us with little in common

pwurple

Lost my only sister when I was 8. Fairly close to all my brothers, probably because of that loss. We all know what it's like to lose a sibling. We communicate in some way almost every day. Only one brother is in ireland at the moment and has just moved to a place near me, which is fantastic. The rest are scattered across the continents. We talk either face to face, skype, text, or we play something online. We are all competitive and love playing games, so we have something going online a lot of the time between each of us.. Scrabble, hearthstone... Our jogging apps are linked etc.

We are all married, have families, busy jobs and live thousands of miles apart, but never lost that link. It's great that my kids know their uncles well, without ever meeting some of them in person.

Isn't the online age great.