How to give someone money anonymously

AlwaysAnyTime

Without going into too much detail, there's a person I know who is in desperate need of some cash at the moment but is way too proud to accept a handout from a friend or family member. I am by no means wealthy, have my own bills to pay but do have disposable income at the end of every month that this person needs a lot more than I do right now.

I don't know their bank details, and something like putting it through the letterbox might get me caught or be too obvious. I am completely out of ideas, good people of After Hours I summon you!

cloud493

Buy them what they need instead of giving them money?

Mr. Incognito

Sell them a raffle tickets for your "work colleagues" fund raiser.

A week later they magically win

Sound of Silence

Take the wad of money, get a brick, place the money on the brick, wrap it up in tape, throw it through their window.

They will never know.

Sir Arthur Daley

Post it to them.

Chucken

Why do they need cash? Might be a better idea to have a weeks worth of food delivered by Tesco.
What happens next month? You can't keep doing that so maybe help them sort out something with M.A.B.S. That would help way better in the long run

Oh ya, pride comes before a fall.

kneemos

How much you give?

sock puppet

Play a game of Bamboozle.

lynski

SVP might be able to help, they could call on your behalf, and they can be discrete. they are good at getting fuel or other deliveries without anyone knowing.
I know this as the local organiser talked to me so i could pass the info on to the mother and toddler group.

Pawn

AlwaysAnyTime wrote: »

too proud to accept a handout from a friend or family member

Give it to me and I give it to them. I assure they will not refuse.

Jesus Wept

Look I'm not that proud, just send me a cheque

Toshi101

Give it to me ill make sure he gets it honest!

hairyprincess

Put it through the letter box during the night.
Buy vouchers and post them.
Get a load of coal/oil delivered.

kneemos

The answer is in the question.

OU812

Send it by courier. They won't know who it's from & you'll get a signature that it's been delivered.

You're a good person.

Alf. A. Male

Never mind their pride, tell them you'd love to help. If they refuse it, that's up to them.

Czarcasm

OP if you think they're too proud to ask for your help, the chances are they won't appreciate you trying to help them. Have you tried sitting down with this person and expressing your concerns to their face instead? That way at least you'll have given them an opportunity to open up to you instead of simply posting them a bank draft.

A couple of years ago alright I did something similar for my brother, I knew what bank he was in and went in and had a quick chat with one of the staff who set up a standing order to lodge the money in his account. My brother never knew and when he brought it up in conversation with me asking could someone do that, he told me he was afraid to spend the money as he wasn't sure was the bank making a mistake and might want the money back.

I had to tell him then where the money was coming from, and he was upset because he thought it was just weird. He didn't want charity as he saw it. My brother is fairly stubborn and independent and he said he would've appreciated it more if I'd asked him first rather than go behind his back.

This guy you know OP could react the very same way - never touch the money as he'd have no idea where it was coming from, but he might appreciate you approaching him instead and expressing your concern for his welfare.

DubVelo

What if you sneak him or her the money and they mistakenly presume it's from someone else, shower that person with gratitude, feel indebted to them for years, sleep with them, marry them, eventually name a hospital wing after them or whatever.
You'll be sick then won't you?

PCX

If they got the money totally anonymously they might be too worried to use it. i.e. who knows I have this cash -who might come looking for it back?

Better to offer to lend them the money they need. Tell them its not charity but there is no hurry in paying you back - you don't mind being last in line as you don't need it now.

Don't ask for the money back. If they're never in a position to pay you back then you effectively gave them the money.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

Do they drive?

If so, put some money in an envelope with a note that says:

Hello,

Very sorry about the damage to your car.

I was in a rush and couldn't help it.

His head will be wrecked as there will be no damage, but he'll still end up with the cash.

dee_mc

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller wrote: »

Do they drive?

If so, put some money in an envelope with a note that says:



His head will be wrecked as their will be no damage, but he'll still have the cash.

Yeah but again, they'll probably just get all paranoid and not use the money in case that it was somehow meant for someone else!
You could invent a Facebook competition in which you got to nominate a friend to share in a prize of a pile of vouchers, would that work?

SoulTrader

Send them an anonymous email claiming to be the beneficiary of a Prince in Nigeria's will. But you have a coke habit and have already wasted most of the $40m. The remaining hundred euro or so you would like to 'keep safe' in a trusted friend's bank account in Ireland. They send you their bank details and the job's done.:cool:

Kettleson

What a load of Eurovision block voting

blatantrereg

How would getting money anonymously be any less of a blow to their pride?

Reedsie

Just telling them is probably best. If you have to lie maybe tell them that you've won a bit of money and would love to share the good fortune.

Karl Stein

The best way for you to be anonymous about it is to not tell everyone on the internet about it you fantastic human being.

Call Me Jimmy

No need for deception in a friendship. Just tell him you want to help because you know he would do the same if the tables were turned. That's my barometer usually.

Or tell him it's a loan just with no fixed payback date. He can think of you as a loan-shark with no teeth.

Failing that it's his own problem, but if you try to do it anonymously he'll ****ing know

The Diabolical Monocle

Fake prize bonds letter.

Cheque in acc payee name only.


Bord Gais, ESB refund for over read meter.

BOHtox

Play Cups!

"I got a 4 and a 9"

"You're kidding, right. Well that's a Full Cup!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYhYJS7LC_Y

ryan101

If you give it to me I'll make the necessary arrangements for you, they will never know

biko

Tell them the Nigerian prince they mailed back have sent some money.

Chucken

I often wonder if these kind of threads are a test of Boards users integrity.

J82

If I received money anonymously, I would continuously be trying to figure out who gave it to me. Everyone would be a suspect and if this person is as proud as you think, then that would potentially be making life uncomfortable for them.

I would offer a "loan". Tell them you often give so-and-so person money to put away for you until Christmas/a holiday (a kinda out of sight, out of mind saving scheme), but that maybe this time you'll give it to them and they can give it back to you when Christmas/holiday / whatever rolls around.

I would definitely be open about it-
Better to be uncomfortable in one person's company than everyone's!

J82

If I received money anonymously, I would continuously be trying to figure out who gave it to me. Everyone would be a suspect and if this person is as proud as you think, then that would potentially be making life uncomfortable for them.

I would offer a "loan". Tell them you often give so-and-so person money to put away for you until Christmas/a holiday (a kinda out of sight, out of mind saving scheme), but that maybe this time you'll give it to them and they can give it back to you when Christmas/holiday / whatever rolls around.

I would definitely be open about it-
Better to be uncomfortable in one person's company than everyone's!

Merkin

Paddy_R wrote: »

Just telling them is probably best. If you have to lie maybe tell them that you've won a bit of money and would love to share the good fortune.

I think this is a great idea

Oink

Put it like that: Are they not a friend/ family member? Would they not help you if the situation was reversed? Whats the use of friends if you don't help each other or you're too proud to accept help?

Then tell them they're selfish batards and punch them.

Tail Docker

Oink wrote: »

Put it like that: Are they not a friend/ family member? Would they not help you if the situation was reversed? Whats the use of friends if you don't help each other or you're too proud to accept help?

Then tell them they're selfish batards and punch them.

I'd go with this, or else start pelting their front door with dozens of €2 coins. They'll be miffed at the damage, but depending on how stuck they are, it'll be a
sort of "Hmmm <. __ .>" miffed.

Akrasia

hairyprincess wrote: »

Get a load of coal/oil delivered.

It's almost June. The only person still using their heating is my mother and she's an extremophile who can only survive in conditions found near the craters of active volcanoes

daheff

If you know where they shop get them a gift voucher for there...tell them you got it as a 'bonus' in work.....but you dont shop there/shop isnt near you. Tell them its only 50 eur (incase they offer to give you money..'ah sure its only 50 you're grand'), and then top it up to a bigger amount

AlwaysAnyTime

AlwaysAnyTime wrote: »

I don't know their bank details, and something like putting it through the letterbox might get me caught or be too obvious. I am completely out of ideas, good people of After Hours I summon you!

You could contrive to find some service they can perform for which you can actually pay them - thus allowing you to give them the money you wish - and allowing them not to see it as a hand out.

BetterThanThou

Invite them around for a game of poker, but instead of hiding good cards up your sleeve like you usually would, hide bad cards up your sleeve, and lose the money to him.

Fiolina

Paddy_R wrote: »

Just telling them is probably best. If you have to lie maybe tell them that you've won a bit of money and would love to share the good fortune.

An ex-workmate of mine did this for me a few years ago. It was just before Christmas, I was out of work and fairly fcuked for money.
He sent me a card with a couple of hundred euro in it and said he'd been lucky on the horses. I remember when I opened the envelope I was mortified at first but then the realisation that I could pay off bills and get the kids sorted made me get over it. I will never, ever forget his kindness.

PizzamanIRL

Just sit him down and tell him to forget his pride. If he really needs the money he'll take it. If he doesn't take it, his loss. You can't force it upon him.

The One Doctor

Just offer them the money or at least offer to buy them something - a week's shopping as suggested earlier. If they refuse it's their loss, literally. Anonymous gifts won't work - that only happens in fiction.

Celly Smunt

Give a man a fish he'll eat for the day.
Teach a man to fish and he'll eat everyday.

Moral of the story, buy the person a fishing rod.

jimgoose

Celly Smunt wrote: »

Give a man a fish he'll eat for the day.
Teach a man to fish and he'll eat everyday sit in a boat and drink beer all day...

FYP!

ScumLord

Buy a balaclava and when they're walking home on some cold dark night run up and do a reverse mugging forcing them to take the money at the end of a syringe point.

sbsquarepants

J82 wrote: »

If I received money anonymously, I would continuously be trying to figure out who gave it to me. Everyone would be a suspect and if this person is as proud as you think, then that would potentially be making life uncomfortable for them.

Just putting it out there, I don't feel this way (just on the slim chance that I'm who the OP is on about) Just hand me the wad of cash, no need to beat around the bush.

jimgoose

ScumLord wrote: »

Buy a balaclava and when they're walking home on some cold dark night run up and do a reverse mugging forcing them to take the money at the end of a syringe point.

Mmm. Hell's Jehova's sort of job - they knock at the door and tell you to fúck off! :pac::pac::pac:

K.Flyer

Hi O.P., first of all thanks for restoring our faith in humanity, your a good soul.

Call around for a coffee and chat as usual and try to find out who his service providers are, Electric, Gas, C.C., etc. don't ask into too much detail about them unless he is open to discuss. Try get the account numbers if you can and phone them and pay something off his bills.
Otherwise an anonymous Supermarket food delivery would work very well if you can build up a little profile on his grocery requirements. (Personally I think food and electric sould be the top of the priority list) wishing you all the best.

Maphisto

Fiolina wrote: »

An ex-workmate of mine did this for me a few years ago. It was just before Christmas, I was out of work and fairly fcuked for money.
He sent me a card with a couple of hundred euro in it and said he'd been lucky on the horses. I remember when I opened the envelope I was mortified at first but then the realisation that I could pay off bills and get the kids sorted made me get over it. I will never, ever forget his kindness.

That's the best bit of advice.

And now I have something in my eye.

/end thread