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HOW MUCH/WHAT DO I GIVE AS A WEDDING PRESENT? READ POST#1 FIRST

  • 26-04-2014 1:51pm
    #1
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,612 admin Toots


    Hello everyone!

    Seeing as there's always at least one thread on the go asking for advice on wedding presents we thought we'd try something new, sort of a 'one stop shop' in the form of a stickied thread with a poll.

    The other issue with the many other threads is that they invariably result in an online verbal fist fight, with plenty of soapboxing and arguing, and we're looking to put a stop to that.


    So here's the deal with this thread:

    Vote on the poll and/or comment on the thread with what/how much you give on average. That's it, no opinions on what should or shouldn't be given, what is the "norm", what's stingey or what's over the top.


    Here's an example of the type of answer that's ok:

    "If going as a couple we give €100, but if it's a close family member we give €200. When we got married, the average cash gift we got was about €150."



    Here's an example of the type of answers that are not ok and will get you either infracted, or banned from the forum:



    "I always give at least €250 when I go to a wedding. If it was a sibling or close family member, I'd give €500. IMO this is the absolute least that anyone should give. People who give less than this are just scabby and shouldn't bother coming to the wedding at all if they can't afford to bring a decent present. Everyone should cover their plate and then extra so the bride and groom aren't in debt after the big day."
    or

    "I usually give an argos value range toaster or else €20 in a card. I'm not going to line their pockets just because they're throwing an overpriced party. They should just be grateful I'm there at all, I hate weddings. If they think they can cover the cost of the wedding with gifts they've got another think coming. Greedy feckers."


    We'd ask that posters give this a go and adhere to the above, this way it will be much easier for people looking for advice to work out what the average gift is, and then use that as a jumping off point to decide what they want to give. It can be very hard for a poster to get a straight answer when they've got to wade through 5 pages of arguing to try and find figures.

    If anyone has any questions, just drop myself or Iguana a PM

    Thanks guys!

    What's the average wedding gift you give? (please select all that apply to you) 1127 votes

    Friend/extended family - €50
    0% 0 votes
    Friend/extended family - €100
    3% 42 votes
    Friend/extended family - €150
    12% 142 votes
    Friend/extended family - €200
    9% 104 votes
    Friend/extended family - over €200
    7% 83 votes
    Friend/extended family - other gift ie: glasses, photo frame, etc
    1% 12 votes
    Friend/extended family - other gift + cash
    1% 17 votes
    Immediate/close family/friend - €50
    1% 15 votes
    Immediate/close family/friend - €100
    0% 9 votes
    Immediate/close family/friend - €150
    4% 53 votes
    Immediate/close family/friend - €200
    6% 70 votes
    Immediate/close family/friend - over €200
    8% 94 votes
    Immediate/close family/friend - other gift ie: glasses, photo frame, etc
    7% 87 votes
    Immediate/close family/friend - other gift + cash
    1% 18 votes
    Afters only - €50
    1% 22 votes
    Afters only - €100
    10% 120 votes
    Afters only - €150
    2% 25 votes
    Afters only - €200 or more
    0% 3 votes
    Afters only - other gift ie: glasses, photo frame, etc.
    0% 0 votes
    Afters only - other gift + cash
    5% 62 votes
    Did not attend - gave cash
    0% 5 votes
    Did not attend - gave gift
    3% 41 votes
    Did not attend - gave card only
    3% 36 votes
    I paid for part of the wedding ie: cars, DJ, flowers, cake, etc
    4% 54 votes
    I helped out with the wedding ie: made the cake, did the flowers, etc
    1% 13 votes


«134

Comments



  • Needs more poll




  • Poll up! Took ages to fill in 25 fields :o




  • 200e per couple, but if we have to travel far with costly accommodation forced on us, then we'd rethink gift size. maybe 100.

    average was about 100 punts when we got married.




  • As a rule we go 150 as a couple, 200 for very close friends, gave 300 to my sibling, himself giving 500 to siblings as can afford to give more.




  • As a rule we go 150 as a couple, 200 for very close friends, gave 300 to my sibling, himself giving 500 to siblings as can afford to give more.


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  • At the minute we'd give €100 in cash or a gift of roughly that value, as a couple to friends/extended family. For immediate family/very close friends it would be €200 or a gift of that value if we could afford it. If we can't attend and it's family or close friends we'd get a small gift, otherwise we'd send a card.

    When I got married (2010) there was about a 50/50 split between cash gifts and material gifts. I can't remember the average cash gift off the top of my head.




  • Great idea for a sticky thread.

    We got married in 2012 in the West of Ireland. We got mostly cash gifts, the average was mainly 150 or 200 from couples (our friends and family) or 100 from singles.
    From siblings we got either nothing separate from the parents, or set of glasses or 500 Euro, basically depending on their family and financial situation I suppose. We paid the latter between 400 and 500 towards their honeymoon when they got married couple of years before.
    As a couple we give 200 Euro or a combination of 100 or 150 Euro plus a gift to the value of approximately the difference to 200. If going to afters only we give between 50 and 100, depending on amount of effort/travel involved in attending.




  • We give €200 as a couple if it's not close friends/ family. To close friends/ cousins I either make the cake and give a gift worth €50-100 or €200 cash plus a small gift. Only one immediate family member on my side has been married, and we contributed €1,000 to their honeymoon.

    For the afters, I usually give a gift worth €30-50 rather than cash.

    When I was single, I either just made the cake or gave €100 cash.




  • Present wedding gift such that which will be remember forever. So, i think photo-frame, or some other jewelry item would be better to give. I voted on this...




  • Will normally give €200 when attending as a couple, more for immediate family member or a very close friend.

    When we got married the most common gift was €200 per couple/€100 per single. Some gave €150 per couple.

    For afters only I generally would not give a gift, card only or nothing.



    As an aside:
    Would the area of the country or the county you are living in have a bearing on this perchance? I'm based in Cork city/suburbs but I get the impression that the average wedding gift is less in other areas of the country.

    Edit: had a list of perceived "smaller gift" counties but that is not the point I'm trying to make.


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  • My only brother is getting married in a couple weeks and I would be very close to both him and my future sister in law, and as such want to buy them a present as well as giving them money but am confused about one thing. I have a set amount of money I was planning on giving to them, which is apparently the going rate around where I live to give a sibling, so would it be the norm to subtract the amount I plan on spending on their present from the cash, or is the present seen as completely separate from the cash?




  • I would imagine if you have X to spend that that'll remain at X, whether it's all cash, part gift part cash or just gift.
    It's up to you, if you want to give something small and sentimental in addition. In our family we've just given cash or money towards something.




  • Is there anyway of distinguishing in the poll if the amount given was from someone who went on their own or as a couple? Can be hard to know what to give when attending a wedding on your own when the majority of people attend as a couple.




  • Is there anyway of distinguishing in the poll if the amount given was from someone who went on their own or as a couple? Can be hard to know what to give when attending a wedding on your own when the majority of people attend as a couple.

    Not on the poll, I'm afraid. We're limited to how many options we can have in it and there wasn't enough room for another set of options for singles/couples.

    If you're unsure of which way to vote, use the amount you'd use most frequently ie: if you go to more weddings as a single vote that and vice versa.

    If it's an even split then just choose either one and give both figures in the comments.




  • Hi, my brother is getting married in a month's time. I am a groomsman on the day. I won't be bringing someone to the wedding with me. I was thinking 200 to 250 euro as a wedding gift. Is that reasonable? I have not been to many weddings. Any advise would be very much appreciated. Thanks!




  • Mike V H wrote: »
    Hi, my brother is getting married in a month's time. I am a groomsman on the day. I won't be bringing someone to the wedding with me. I was thinking 200 to 250 euro as a wedding gift. Is that reasonable? I have not been to many weddings. Any advise would be very much appreciated. Thanks!
    200 is very reasonable for an individual to a sibling if you can afford it.




  • Can people please make sure they read the instruction at the top of the thread before commenting. I've just had to delete posts that were commenting on how certain gifts were 'rubbish' etc. This thread isn't a platform for people to critique gifts, it's to give people an idea of the varying amounts/items for presents.




  • Girlfriend's sister's wedding in a few weeks. As a couple we had set aside 400 as a gift. GF is obviously close with her sister and I would consider the groom to be a good friend (although we know each other through our gf/fiances)

    GF mother not impressed with the 400 and claimed that we should trump up 800-1000 for a gift because it is a family wedding.

    Its the first immediate family wedding for either of us.




  • MCD. wrote: »
    Girlfriend's sister's wedding in a few weeks. As a couple we had set aside 400 as a gift. GF is obviously close with her sister and I would consider the groom to be a good friend (although we know each other through our gf/fiances)

    GF mother not impressed with the 400 and claimed that we should trump up 800-1000 for a gift because it is a family wedding.

    Its the first immediate family wedding for either of us.

    It's nothing to do with her. I wouldn't give her any hop there. If it's the first wedding, it's not like there's a precedent or anything.




  • How crass of someone to presume what someone else should be giving. Gifting is a personal thing. She shouldn't be asking what you're giving... and if I were you, I/we wouldn't be telling.
    If you can afford it, what you're giving is already very generous.


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  • Friend/acquaintance/extended family; 150 (Me and wife attending)
    Close friend/family; 250-500 (This is what i have always received)
    Afters; Dont usually go but 50 in a card is what I would.




  • MCD. wrote: »
    Girlfriend's sister's wedding in a few weeks. As a couple we had set aside 400 as a gift. GF is obviously close with her sister and I would consider the groom to be a good friend (although we know each other through our gf/fiances)

    GF mother not impressed with the 400 and claimed that we should trump up 800-1000 for a gift because it is a family wedding.

    Its the first immediate family wedding for either of us.

    Extremely generous gift, regardless of if it's family or not... But shocked with the mothers response!!




  • MCD. wrote: »
    Girlfriend's sister's wedding in a few weeks. As a couple we had set aside 400 as a gift. GF is obviously close with her sister and I would consider the groom to be a good friend (although we know each other through our gf/fiances)

    GF mother not impressed with the 400 and claimed that we should trump up 800-1000 for a gift because it is a family wedding.

    Its the first immediate family wedding for either of us.

    Holy hell, €400 is a huge amount imo.

    Im getting married next year and wouldn't expect anything like that amount from anyone.

    No offence mate but your girlfriends Ma sounds like a complete boot!




  • We're going to a wedding overseas. It's costing us an absolute fortune to bring us plus 4 kids plus SIL to nanny. But the couple have been so generous inviting all to the meal, even though we will probably just have the kids at the earlier part and send them home to eat. I'm at a loss to know how much to give- would $200 be ok?




  • I'm going to the afters of a wedding for a work colleague, but I've already contributed to a group present in work. Do I still need to bring a separate card/present on the night and if so how much should I put in? Normally I'd give 50euro in a card as a single, but as I've already signed a card and contributed to a present in work I'm not sure what is expected?




  • Went to one of those recently. Had been planning the same as you, 50 in a card, but the week before the manager organised a group card and envelope. The average contributions were about 15 Euro (either 10 or 20).
    I signed the card and threw in some money (15 as I didn't wanna be the mean one or the look-at-me generous one), but certainly didn't bother with a separate card after that. Felt a bit mean, but tbh it would've been showing up the work-mates if I did that as none of them gave anything on the day.
    We met up as a group for a drink while the speeches were finishing up. Then went in and joined the party and congratulated the couple...




  • You can only give what you can afford and the couple getting married should not be expecting cash in every envelope.

    A gift is nice to recieve!

    I was a bridesmaid at my friends wedding. I only had 50 euro to spare (had to pay for hotel room etc etc), so rather than just putting 50 in a card, a few other guests and I signed the card and each threw 50 in, so the envelope contained 300 quid. It might sound mean, but I know my friend would prefer that I had money for petrol for the rest of the week.

    Another good friend got married and I couldn't go to the wedding but I sent 60 dollars in a card so they could have drinks on me in new york on their honeymoon.

    My cousin, that I barely see, invited me to the afters. I went for an hour. I didn't want to just put 20 in a card so I spent the 20 in tierneys and got a lovely set of wine glasses for their new house.

    I will be getting married soon, I hate to think my guests are worried about putting this amount or that amount in their card.

    Have any of you ever seen a wedding invitation that said 'no gifts' in a nice way? outta curiosity




  • I live in Belgium, where weddings are different in general. Giving 100 euro per person would really be an unusually high amount to give. That's older relatives only I'd say. I usually give 120-140 euro as a couple for a wedding with dinner. As a twenty something this would be a perfectly decent amount. If it's just afters, most people give 25 euro each.
    And in Belgium all weddings pretty much have free drink. Belgians would be mightily surprised to be at an Irish wedding and be expected to pay for their drinks. Obviously it's just beer and wine, not spirits.
    Some people actually paying 200-400 euro to attend a wedding sounds a bit baffling to me. No wonder people here are a lot broker after having a wedding.




  • Going to the wedding of a friend of OH. I asked her what we were going to give as a gift. We would normally give €50 each. The OH said she will give what she got from her friend at our wedding (she went 4 ways on a €100 gift voucher) So Iit's €25 - and I don't even think she's joking.


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  • Husbands brother getting married st the end of August. Were giving €150. My husband and I our daughter and her friend are going. Its in a very expensive hotel (€275 for 2 nights not including breakfast, thats the wedding guest rate), 2.5 hours drive away. New clothes, drinks and meals from Friday evening through to Sunday morning, petrol, dog in kennels .
    If the wedding had been more accsebile , less expensive hotel, if we'd been able to drive down there on the day of the wedding so only 1 nights accommodation needed, etc. then we could have given more, but our budget won't allow.
    I understand couples find the "venue of their dreams" and of course you should ho for it, but you can sure put family yo a lot of expense.


This discussion has been closed.
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