When do I become a Ms.?

Addle

When does a single woman change from miss to ms?
Do I have to change?!

Das Kitty

I've always been a Ms for as long as I've been filling in my own forms for things. I suppose I never liked Miss.

You can keep Miss as long as you like. You can probably even keep it if you're married.

rainbow kirby

Well I've been using it since I was around 14, because I never saw the point in using a title that refers to marital status when men didn't have to...

Morgase

You don't have to if you don't want to. I use Ms as I perceive Miss to be the way a young girl would be addressed.

Addle

rainbow kirby wrote: »

Well I've been using it since I was around 14, because I never saw the point in using a title that refers to marital status when men didn't have to...

I agree, but I also don't want to 'disguise' my being single.
I'm very happy to be a miss but I do feel it's associated with an age I may have passed!

alleystar

Miss when you're under 18,
Ms when you're over 18.

That's what I always thought anyway.

MissFlitworth

I don't really use a title at all, 'Ms' if I absolutely have to because 'Miss' to me is for women in their teens and characters in Period Dramas but in general I'm just Firstname Secondname on everything. If I got hitched I wouldn't be transitioning to a Mrs either

Addle

I think I'll go for no title so.
I'm well past 18!!
When would you be using a 'title' prior to 18?
CAO application form?!

littleblackDRS

I thought Ms. was the title used post-divorce if the husbands surname was kept?

Addle

littleblackDRS wrote: »

I thought Ms. was the title used post-divorce if the husbands surname was kept?

It's around Ireland a lot longer than divorce.

efb

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2007/jun/29/gender.uk

I've used Ms for years, definitely
Good article

Red Nissan

Funny all the different interpretations of the Miss, Ms. Mrs.

Miss is what children call their teacher, it's even Miss Married Name more often than not too.

Ms. was meant to be a relationship neutral title BUT, it was adopted by divorced women so that is the impression using Ms. will bring to a lot casual audience members.

DM addict

You can call yourself whatever you like, Addle. Are you recently married/divorced/turning 18/other major change - just wondering why you're thinking of it now.

Personally, I've been Ms since it was up to me, which was at some point in my teens. I remain Ms, regardless of being married.

Addle

No change in status. I've always been a miss.

I just wonder about it every time I complete a form.

monflat

God i will always be a ms.

A few times like in the butchers etc ive been called mrs and jasus it really annoys me !!!
Im only 34 too young to be a mrs !!!!

DM addict

Then if you're happy being Miss Addle, be Miss Addle. If you'd prefer to be Ms Addle, then just start using Ms. next time you fill in forms, or someone asks.

It's a matter of preference, really. If you're concerned about keeping your marital status private, then Ms. makes more sense. But, as other posters have said, sometimes that makes people assumed you're divorced. Meh, it's up to you.

PhysiologyRocks

I was always Ms. before I was Dr.

In the hospital charts at work, about 50% of male children have "Master" on their charts and the rest "Mr." It's about the same divide for girls with Miss and Ms. I think it depends on which office clerk did the admission. But everyone female and adult (and not Mrs. or Dr.) is Ms.

But if you ask me, Miss is a perfectly adequate title for a single female adult. My personal issue is "does it make me an ass if I correct people who call me Ms.?"

(Mainly a dilemma at work because Mr./Ms. signifies being a surgeon, which I'm not! But also because Ms. is not my title. I've no major preoccupation with wanting people to call me Dr. or anything, but all the same, I'm not Ms. Rocks...)

I overthink this a bit...

PhysiologyRocks

PhysiologyRocks wrote: »

I was always Ms. before I was Dr.

In the hospital charts at work, about 50% of male children have "Master" on their charts

Do they still use that??

Addle

Only time I've ever heard 'master' was to address a school principal.

Yeah it's a pretty old fashioned term for a boy
Young master jones etc

ash23

When I was in a serious relationship, living with someone, I went by Ms.

Now I'm living alone I've reverted to using Miss.

Having said all that, I really don't care much. But I thought Ms. was an ambiguous title for when you don't know if the woman is married or not.

Semele

I use Ms, I hate Miss! My mother used to address letters/ cards to married couples as "Mr and Mrs John Smith" and even as a child it used to infuriate me. Especially when it was a close relative, like her sister, and she would still call her by her husband's name as though she no longer existed as a separate human being.

Saying that, I don't get why we need titles at all now, men or women. Is it just convention or is there a practical reason for it? Things like Doctor or Professor I can get as they denotes acquired statuses but Mr/Mrs/Ms are just the absence of such and surely could just be dispensed with, no?

sullivlo

PhysiologyRocks wrote: »

I was always Ms. before I was Dr.

In the hospital charts at work, about 50% of male children have "Master" on their charts and the rest "Mr." It's about the same divide for girls with Miss and Ms. I think it depends on which office clerk did the admission. But everyone female and adult (and not Mrs. or Dr.) is Ms.

But if you ask me, Miss is a perfectly adequate title for a single female adult. My personal issue is "does it make me an ass if I correct people who call me Ms.?"

(Mainly a dilemma at work because Mr./Ms. signifies being a surgeon, which I'm not! But also because Ms. is not my title. I've no major preoccupation with wanting people to call me Dr. or anything, but all the same, I'm not Ms. Rocks...)

I overthink this a bit...

I'm the same. Ms until I was Dr and only Dr in work situations.

sullivlo

MissFlitworth wrote: »

I don't really use a title at all, 'Ms' if I absolutely have to because 'Miss' to me is for women in their teens and characters in Period Dramas but in general I'm just Firstname Secondname on everything. If I got hitched I wouldn't be transitioning to a Mrs either

I'm sorry but the combination of your username and your post made me chuckle

eviltwin

Miss always puts me in mind of a child. I'm late 30's now and using Miss seems totally inappropriate. I'm married but kept my name so Mrs isn't an option so Ms works for me.

Addle

sullivlo wrote: »

I'm the same. Ms until I was Dr and only Dr in work situations.

There was a time when using dr as a prefix on a credit card application automatically gave you a higher credit limit than just using miss, ms, mrs or mr!

Maybe it still does!

Addle

eviltwin wrote: »

I'm married but kept my name so Mrs isn't an option

Is it not?

sullivlo

Addle wrote: »

There was a time when using dr as a prefix on a credit card application automatically gave you a higher credit limit than just using miss, ms, mrs or mr!

Maybe it still does!

And apparently higher car insurance quotes. I haven't changed any documents. Aside from work id etc. I'm not a medical dr like. Would be useless in a crisis. So I'd be afraid someone would look at my licence / card and assume I could help with their rash!

MissFlitworth

sullivlo wrote: »

I'm sorry but the combination of your username and your post made me chuckle

Honestly - I had all the angsts over my username! I so wanted to be MzFlitworth. The only reason Miss won out in the end is that in the book my username came from it's a big deal for the actual Miss Flitworth that she be Miss over Mrs and I assumed she wouldn't like Ms either.

beks101

I've always used "Miss" and never thought twice about it. Didn't realize it had this association with being a child / teenager / whatever

eviltwin

Addle wrote: »

Is it not?

If I use Mrs Maiden Name then people will assume my husband is Mr Maiden Name, no big deal but its just the hassle of having to correct people on it. Its annoying enough when I am addressed as Mrs His Name. Mrs just sounds very old to me, I like Ms, its as much a part of my identity now as my name, I can't imagine using anything else.

Addle

If you use Mrs + your husband's name, then you probably share your name with your mother in law...

IvyTheTerrible

I've always used Ms and if I get married, I'll still use it. I don't like the implication using Miss or Mrs has that my title is defined by my marital status when no man's is.

lazygal

Addle wrote: »

If you use Mrs + your husband's name, then you probably share your name with your mother in law...

Not if your mother in law never changed her name.

Ann Landers

beks101 wrote: »

I've always used "Miss" and never thought twice about it. Didn't realize it had this association with being a child / teenager / whatever

I've only recently discovered that Master is the official title given to boys!

Ann Landers

Das Kitty wrote: »

I've always been a Ms for as long as I've been filling in my own forms for things. I suppose I never liked Miss.

You can keep Miss as long as you like. You can probably even keep it if you're married.

I think Ms. is the one you keep, and how I address people in emails if I don't know their marital status. I'd never use Miss in that case. Miss is for someone who is unmarried.

Ann Landers

rainbow kirby wrote: »

Well I've been using it since I was around 14, because I never saw the point in using a title that refers to marital status when men didn't have to...

Ms. is the generic one, AFAIK. Miss speaks of marital status as much as Mrs., at least to me.

stinkle

Semele wrote: »

I use Ms, I hate Miss! My mother used to address letters/ cards to married couples as "Mr and Mrs John Smith" and even as a child it used to infuriate me.

Mine too! And still does it, she also sends stuff like birthday cards to cousins and writes "Miss" to the girls. I don't know why it makes me cringe. I refused to write "Mr and Mrs John Smith" when we sent wedding invitations recently, hopefully no one's offended...

I think "Miss" reminds me of a lovely elderly "maiden aunt" of mine who (understandably) went by Miss all her life. I always thought it screamed "left on the shelf" for older women of that generation. Also, we learned about Miss/Ms/Mrs in primary school and in my own experience of school all the old-timer teacher were either Miss or Mrs, the younger ones insisted on Ms. Again, I took it to be a generational thing, and none of our business whether our teachers were married or not, or kept their name after marriage or not.

Thankfully my mother now gets to address my post as "Dr" and gets great fun out of doing so. The other side of that is she has a very begrudging sister who wouldn't dream of writing Dr Stinkle on a card to me (even in a congratulations card when I graduated :pac:). People are funny!

Mayo Miss

I don't mind using Miss or Ms but cringe cringe cringe when I'm asked in a shop "Can I help you Mam?"

sullivlo

Mayo Miss wrote: »

I don't mind using Miss or Ms but cringe cringe cringe when I'm asked in a shop "Can I help you Mam?"

I cringe when a person with a child says "watch the lady" or similar.

Addle

I got a 'good girl' when handed change recently!
Made me laugh!

Malari

I've always used Ms. Something my dad suggested when I was a teenager :-)

iguana

Sometimes the Miss/Ms/Mrs debate makes me want to buy a boat and go by Captain.

Seoda1

MissFlitworth wrote: »

I don't really use a title at all, 'Ms' if I absolutely have to because 'Miss' to me is for women in their teens and characters in Period Dramas but in general I'm just Firstname Secondname on everything. If I got hitched I wouldn't be transitioning to a Mrs either

What about your username MissFlitworth?

Scarinae

Seoda1 wrote: »

What about your username MissFlitworth?

It's the name of a Discworld character

MissFlitworth

Seoda1 wrote: »

What about your username MissFlitworth?

Scarinae wrote: »

It's the name of a Discworld character

Yep

That's me, bottom right

pinkypinky

Did you know that in France they have officially abandoned use of "mademoiselle" (meaning miss) in favour of exclusively using "Madam" which traditionally means "mrs". I was surprised last year to be addressed as Madam and thought to myself "when I did get that old?" and when I met my French friend mentioned it and she said no, it was all Madam now for everyone regardless of marital status.

Ann Landers

sullivlo wrote: »

I cringe when a person with a child says "watch the lady" or similar.

Aw, really? It's a bit old-fashioned but is just teaching politeness. Harmless enough.

IvyTheTerrible

pinkypinky wrote: »

Did you know that in France they have officially abandoned use of "mademoiselle" (meaning miss) in favour of exclusively using "Madam" which traditionally means "mrs". I was surprised last year to be addressed as Madam and thought to myself "when I did get that old?" and when I met my French friend mentioned it and she said no, it was all Madam now for everyone regardless of marital status.

Officially it has changed but I still see "Mlle" on lots and lots of forms!

rebel girl 15

Red Nissan wrote: »

Funny all the different interpretations of the Miss, Ms. Mrs.

Miss is what children call their teacher, it's even Miss Married Name more often than not too.

Ms. was meant to be a relationship neutral title BUT, it was adopted by divorced women so that is the impression using Ms. will bring to a lot casual audience members.

I took over a year 7 class (11/12 year olds) and we had a huge discussion over whether I was Miss, Ms or Mrs!

Generally I've been called Miss in the classroom, but on the girls books it can be either of the three!