Sport or Girlfriend - have to decide.

December2012

I think she's hurt.

She's frustrated and hurt and she wants to feel and to know that you want to put her first.

She wants to be priority. And it's possible OP that you are not making her feel like she is important (even though you think you are).

I'm not suggesting you stop your matches or training but can you talk to her and make her feel important to you?

ronjo

Time Now Please wrote: »

Are you messing? will ya for God's sake take your gf out for the night, I am sure your team can do without you for one night, it's her birthday, take her out and enjoy yourselves!!! Anybody would think you are getting a wee bit fed up with her.

Did you read the OP?

He said he can be with her from 5.30 so is planning to "take her out for the night"

Op I think the fact this is stressing you does show you are considering her feelings but as has been mentioned before I dont know why she wants the entire day with you. For me, she is being selfish.

LegacyUser

OP, play your football matches. You'll be long enough unable to play, enjoy your youth while you still have it. Your GF is being precious and selfish. What does she expect you to do while with her? Does she think you will give up your place in the teams and act jolly for the day?

There's enough time in the day to please everyone. See her in the morning and bring her out for dinner. If that's not enough tell her good bye.

coffee_cake

I thought this was going to be a thread about guys who take off for whole weekends every weekend and spend the week in the gym or something. But this sounds like it's only the second time and you'll be done after 530 and going straight to her. In which case I think she's being unreasonable

jimd2

Is there any way that you can meet her tonight after her work and give her her present then, make a fuss etc?

Then play the games as it is important that you meet your committments. I remember giving up on several occasions for sport when younger.

Meet and go out for a meal in the evening time. Not an issue to me, I actually think that it is healthy for people to have their own lives and I never was one for all day dates at weekends.

Necro

I feel your pain OP! I have a young family and it's a struggle to please everyone all the time. Thankfully, my wife knew exactly what she was signing up to when she married me, and even before! That doesn't mean it still doesn't pose problems at times. I do think your girlfriend is being unreasonable however, three times in almost 5 months is very low considering your schedules!

Addle

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.

Oscar Wilde

LegacyUser

December2012 wrote: »

I think she's hurt.

She's frustrated and hurt and she wants to feel and to know that you want to put her first.

She wants to be priority. And it's possible OP that you are not making her feel like she is important (even though you think you are).

I'm not suggesting you stop your matches or training but can you talk to her and make her feel important to you?

You are 100% correct!!

After a long fight yesterday, we met up this morning and talked it through. It was the fact I wasn't making her feel like she is important (not just when it comes to sport, just in general, so this was essentially the last straw and she reached boilling point). She said she was never actually gonna make me miss the matches....the ultimatum was a test....she just wanted me to say that she was my first prioirity and that I should be more considerate when chooisng matches over her, that I was taking her for granted. Was it a bit of drama on her part? Yes, perhaps. But, I can also see what she means and I have been a bit lax with our relationship lately so we needed to have this talk.

So...I still remain in the bad books, but everything seems good for now . I just better make it up to her tomorrow :P!

Again, thanks so much everyone for the help and replies! It was really interesting to see how other people's relationships deal with sport .

Tramps Like Us

A test? ffs I wouldn't stand for those kind of games... this is a bad sign mate, she'll have your head wrecked

bmwguy

Before I read your last reply I was going to post that its a test. I've been there before, I gave in. Stopped playing my sport like an idiot and was just at home doing nothing. Guess what, she thought she could just throw a strop and get her way after that. She had won. That relationship is over (I ended it) and I went back to sport and hobbies. Current GF doesnt do it, and if she does I won't give in. You shouldnt either. Do what you love, she will respect you more for it than just caving like I did.

Jonny Blaze

bmwguy wrote: »

Before I read your last reply I was going to post that its a test. I've been there before, I gave in. Stopped playing my sport like an idiot and was just at home doing nothing. Guess what, she thought she could just throw a strop and get her way after that. She had won. That relationship is over (I ended it) and I went back to sport and hobbies. Current GF doesnt do it, and if she does I won't give in. You shouldnt either. Do what you love, she will respect you more for it than just caving like I did.

So true, same happened to me. I gave in once (first girlfriend, go figure!) and she pretty much owned me then.

Wasn't long before I resented her and the wheels came off the whole thing.

OP you sound like a decent chap, obviously taking her feelings and expectations into account as well as working and living a clean life.

I would honestly be rethinking this whole situation if I were you and looking for the escape hatch.

Demands, tests and power plays are something you shouldn't have to face from your partner, ever.

jobless

a test?... big warning sign mate....
never give up a sport you love, as said before you'll regret it and you will come to resent her for it....
you are not being unreasonable at all.... you are young and will have plenty of time in the future where you wont be playing sport as seriously...

wirelessdude01

Jaysus, you will be long enough retired and probably getting fat. She won't be long giving out then about the weight creeping on. Enjoy your sport. It was part of your life before you were with her. Bet she wouldn't be giving out if she was going out with an All-Ireland winning All-Star. She needs to have a look at herself ad the stress she is putting on you. There is a birthday every year but believe me good championship runs don't happen every year for most teams.

Chucky the tree

gfdilema wrote: »

You are 100% correct!!

After a long fight yesterday, we met up this morning and talked it through. It was the fact I wasn't making her feel like she is important (not just when it comes to sport, just in general, so this was essentially the last straw and she reached boilling point). She said she was never actually gonna make me miss the matches....the ultimatum was a test....she just wanted me to say that she was my first prioirity and that I should be more considerate when chooisng matches over her, that I was taking her for granted. Was it a bit of drama on her part? Yes, perhaps. But, I can also see what she means and I have been a bit lax with our relationship lately so we needed to have this talk.

So...I still remain in the bad books, but everything seems good for now . I just better make it up to her tomorrow :P!

Again, thanks so much everyone for the help and replies! It was really interesting to see how other people's relationships deal with sport .

Ultimatiums and tests. She really sounds far to immature to be having a relationship.