What age are you & Do you have kids?

Carriexx

Morning, I suppose Im worried, I am 35 with someone approx a year. Not ready for kids this year but hopefully next year or year after. But am scared it wont happen when I try. Did any of you girls have kids in your mid/late 30s, any issues. I do know everyone is different!!

Sadderday

Carriexx wrote: »

Morning, I suppose Im worried, I am 35 with someone approx a year. Not ready for kids this year but hopefully next year or year after. But am scared it wont happen when I try. Did any of you girls have kids in your mid/late 30s, any issues. I do know everyone is different!!

I feel the exact same.... freaked out that it wont happen but you can't worry too much about something that may or may not ever happen I'm told

Jerrica

You'll hear the "you have loads of time left!" line trotted out a lot if you say you're worried about having kids when you're 30s but it's totally normal and understandable to have those concerns. It really bugged me when people said that to me, the media is full of warning stories about fertility declining when you reach x age so it's natural to let that filter into your thoughts! But here I am, 34 and expecting my first in July. I got pregnant almost straight away and it took us by surprise to say the least. Completely normal and by-the-book pregnancy, my age has had no negative influence at all to date.

IvyTheTerrible

I am 34 and I was 32 when I had my son. I had no issues getting pregnant and there were no issues with the pregnancy or birth, and my son is grand.

If I have a second child it won't be for another couple of years (unless we get a surprise!) but I'm not very worried about it. (even though I will be over 35 and classed as a "geriatric pregancy")

Roesy

I'm 34 and have a 5 month old. Always thought I'd have problems getting pregnant due to a couple of underlying medical conditions but got pregnant the first month not preventing, unfortunately that pregnancy didn't work out and we didn't try again for a couple of months but got pregnant pretty quickly again when we did start trying again. My age came up in conversation with my consultant when we were talking about contraception at my 6 week check up after having her. I felt that I might have to try again in the next few months/year if we wanted another child. He said that 38 is typically when the big decline in fertility happens.

DeltaWhite

I'm so glad I stumbled upon this thread today.. I'm 28 with no children. With my OH 3 years and we have talked about it but I genuinely want to wait until my 30's. I couldn't afford to bring a child into this world and my OH is doing a masters so it is not the right time, and I'm happy enough with my life at the minute!

But I have to say in the past few months I've had various women commenting saying I SHOULD STOP TAKING MY PILL???? That I'm mad to wait until my 30's and that it will be harder for me at that age.. Some of these women are in my family, not just randomers!


I would never in my life say that to someone. I dont understand how these particular women can seriously say those words to a childless woman. Why should I be pressured into having a child just because THEY think I should? Maybe I'm sensitive but honestly it's been bothering me a lot.

Telling me I'm getting "too old" to be putting it off? Ladies, I'm 28?

Please explain why this seems to be occurring or are these women just busy bodies who are sticking their nose in?? Is it the norm to be told that at my age? I wouldnt be a very child chatty person so I'm not used to these comments!

IvyTheTerrible

DeltaWhite wrote: »

I'm so glad I stumbled upon this thread today.. I'm 28 with no children. With my OH 3 years and we have talked about it but I genuinely want to wait until my 30's. I couldn't afford to bring a child into this world and my OH is doing a masters so it is not the right time, and I'm happy enough with my life at the minute!

But I have to say in the past few months I've had various women commenting saying I SHOULD STOP TAKING MY PILL???? That I'm mad to wait until my 30's and that it will be harder for me at that age.. Some of these women are in my family, not just randomers!


I would never in my life say that to someone. I dont understand how these particular women can seriously say those words to a childless woman. Why should I be pressured into having a child just because THEY think I should? Maybe I'm sensitive but honestly it's been bothering me a lot.

Telling me I'm getting "too old" to be putting it off? Ladies, I'm 28?

Please explain why this seems to be occurring or are these women just busy bodies who are sticking their nose in?? Is it the norm to be told that at my age? I wouldnt be a very child chatty person so I'm not used to these comments!

You'ld be amazed at the number of people who think they have the right to comment on your reproductive "choices" (because it's not always a choice), either you should have children and are selfish for not having them, or you are selfish for having them. Or you have one, and you know only children are lonely children, so when will have another? Or you have x number of children and so you're finished then so! I've gotten good at ignoring it.

meeeeh

Well I must be lucky because nobody except my father (who was not so politely told to mind his own business) was making any sort of comments about kids to me.

Anyway two kids, one at thirty and second one at 34. I had no problem getting pregnant but I did have three miscarriages, first one in my twenties. Second pregnancy was definitely physically harder for me but it might be the little maggot's fault because she decided to camp one of my leg nerves.

Carriexx

Thank you for your replies

I also have had the come off the pill comment from people. But its just not the right time right now.

I had reflexology a few weeks ago and the girl proceeded to tell me she thought i was infertile and to come off the pill....i have since been told there is no way she could know this, but my god she gave me the fright of my life. I really want children but I feel if I wait one more year I will be in a so much better situation and it will be worth it, with money, job etc.

Yep i am very fit, and my proper weight, just trying to give up the fags now...which is hard work!!!

Thanks girls

meeeeh

Carriexx wrote: »

Thank you for your replies

I also have had the come off the pill comment from people. But its just not the right time right now.

I had reflexology a few weeks ago and the girl proceeded to tell me she thought i was infertile and to come off the pill....i have since been told there is no way she could know this, but my god she gave me the fright of my life. I really want children but I feel if I wait one more year I will be in a so much better situation and it will be worth it, with money, job etc.

Yep i am very fit, and my proper weight, just trying to give up the fags now...which is hard work!!!

Thanks girls

Your reflexologist is as qualified as your mechanic to tell you about your reproductive issues or lack of them.

God I do wish alternative medicine practitioners would stick to their fields. They do enough damage anyway.

Edit: if you are worried it might be no harm talking to your GP and getting them to run some tests.

confuseddotcom

34 today, Single, no kids. Would love some though! If I don't have any over the next couple of years I doubt I would be planning pregnancies after that, too old then i.m.o. Plus I would have liked them to have Grand-parents as a big part of their life so obviously that would need to be sooner rather than later too.

sullivlo

27. Single. No kids. Want kids.

I've spent the best part of 10 years in college so I'm going to focus on my career for a few years. If I meet "the one" and I have kids in that period, fantastic!

If not, I'll worry about that in 5 years time. I hear Ikea sell turkey basters these days. Be grand.

Sadderday

I'm kinda the opposite......

I'm mid twenties and engaged, living with OH deciding on whether to buy a house or get married first etc etc

everyone keeps telling me to 'take your time' or 'don't get up the duff' or 'your way too young' or 'enjoy your life a bit now before you start having babies' or 'dont get pregnant, wait a while'

......... All very good points but I don't see how any of those things are appropriate to say.

Even at this age and in this situation... if I were to get pregnant any time soon I think I would shame my parents. I think they are expecting me to be in my own purchased home and much closer to my 30s.

rainbow kirby

confuseddotcom wrote: »

Plus I would have liked them to have Grand-parents as a big part of their life so obviously that would need to be sooner rather than later too.

I would be the same - I'm 29 and have 3 living grandparents, and it's a gift to have had so much time with them. I would love for my future children to have something similar, but we'd probably want to be getting a move on because my fiance's parents are older. Wedding first though, then a bit of time to let our finances recover...

DeltaWhite

Glad to know I'm not the only one ladies! I guess there's some out there who literally CANNOT help themselves with the stuff they say.

At least I know now to expect these things from people so will be toughening up my skin from now on

Faith

Carriexx wrote: »

I had reflexology a few weeks ago and the girl proceeded to tell me she thought i was infertile and to come off the pill....i have since been told there is no way she could know this, but my god she gave me the fright of my life.

I'd make a formal complaint about that. That's appalling.

Sadderday

Faith wrote: »

I'd make a formal complaint about that. That's appalling.

............. um yes, I really don't think that was an appropriate thing to say unless you have a friendship with the person ?

we'llallhavetea

I'm 29 and my daughter will be 10 this July, no more babies for me I'm happy I had her young, I can't imagine how bloody tiring it would be for me at this age, I seem to be getting more and more bolloxed as the days go by :P

Gongoozler

I'm 30 and don't have children. Don't want any though.

Luckily for me I don't have much contact with family members who might feel it their place to comment on my reproductive choices, and for those who i am around, I don't look at day over 22 so none of that from them either.

Morag

If you are worried go to your gp and ask them to do a hormoan panel to check the status of your fertility.
Better to know now then find out to late.


I had my kids in my mid 20s, it's worked out ok for me, but most of my friends have waited until they are 30+

CathyMoran

Am 40, have a 4 year old son and 2 year old daughter - had multiple heartbreaking miscarriages before we had our son. I do feel that it was more to do with other medical issues than my age. I would have more in a heartbeat if we could afford more - I am at my happiest in my life being with my dreamed of children. I have always had the nickname mummy and love being one.

eviltwin

I was lucky enough to have my family completed in my early 30's with no problems conceiving. I know women who have had children in their late 30's and beyond without any issues but equally know women who are unable to have children who would be mid 30's. It seems to be luck of the draw really.

seenitall

confuseddotcom wrote: »

34 today

Happy Birthday!

40 y.o., one daughter (7 y.o.). Enjoying her immensely and would have loved one or two more, but life hasn't turned out that way... it's one of those "Count your blessings" moments I guess.

Neyite

39, with a 2 year old that we were 2.5 years trying for before resorting to fertility meds. And now trying again 18 months with 2 miscarriages since and shortly will see if I need to have more meds.

I dont feel my age is a factor. I was 34 when we started this process and hormone /other tests revealed nothing out of the ordinary in either of us. I hope that this year we will get lucky but after that I think we would need to consider being happy with our lot.

cactuspaw

30, no kids, don't really want any. Really love my mates kids, love most children, just don't want any myself. I'd mess them up!

highly1111

I'm 33 & have 3 kids under 5. Started with our honeymoon baby!

I never really had a huge desire for kids until my niece was born and my love for her was so overwhelming that I knew I wanted kids of my own. I love my kids more than life itself. However there's no doubt there's tough times. At my age with 3 kids I'm at a different stage to friends - a few have babies but would also have babysitters at the drop of a hat - and I was the same - when I had one!! 3 is a different ball game! Also, money is a lot more tight for my husband and I - and friends don't always get that. Friends can also slag me when I leave the pub at midnight when I'm struggling to keep my eyes open. But overall my single friends (not my married friends who are choosing to wait/may be currently trying) have expressed jealousy over my settled status and have confided their stresses over it possibly being too late for them for kids. I think that the grass to a certain extent will always be greener. Trick is to accept and be happy.

pwurple

35 and just had our second. But we started trying when I was 27. We had fertility difficulties, and it took a few years to get that sorted. Had a miscarriage also. Glad we started when we did. Wouldn't want to be on the start of that fertillity road now. My husband is in his 40's now. He will be in his 60's at their 21sts. Don't know if we will ever see any grandkids... Possibly not.

vitani

Coming up to 29 and am a single mother to one 3 year old. I love her to pieces but having her so early (and on my own) definitely wasn't in my life plan. I wouldn't change a hair on her head, but I do wish I'd been in a more stable situation before she was born. Things are starting to come together now but the first year of her life, in particular, was very tough for me and so I'd always urge somebody now to wait until they're ready before having children.

beks101

Just turned 29 (yesterday...yikes!), no kids, not even 'nearly' any kids, not even a thought in my head other than to serve as light-hearted humour.

Presume I will want some one day, but have a lot to do and see and achieve before I get there.

Lia_lia

I'm 25 and have no kids. The idea of having kids now really scares me...I like my freedom to do things.

I do think I want kids eventually. But I can see it being at the latest possible age I can have them...how am I suppose to know when that is though Sure we will see!

How Strange

I'm 40 and have two kids, 3 years and 11 months. I was 36 getting pregnant and it happened pretty much straight away. On my second, it took a few months but I think it was due to hormones. I don't think things had fully settled down after the first pregnancy. In a way I have small regrets that we didn't decide a couple of years earlier. I do wish I was a bit younger so I could possibly squeeze a third in if I changed my mind in a year or two. My husband was adamant he didn't want kids until the year we got married and he then changed his mind. I personally don't want to be pregnant/have children in my 40's so we won't have any more. However, I know we've lived our lives to the full. We've travelled and seen lots of countries etc so we are quite content to concentrate on our family. I do think this makes us more patient parents. We are happy to be sitting in at the weekends or having family holidays with no nightlife. We enjoy it.

On the comments about grandparents, my mam was 39 having my brother. He's 23 and our 93 year old granny is still going strong. He had all grandparents until he was 8 and lost another two when he was 10 and 13.

lindtee

I'm 36 and have 3 sons, 15, 14 and 11.

Robson Lobson

I'm 29 and have a 3 year old and 3 month old. Would like to have one or two more before 34 at latest. Prefer to be a youngish parent so I can see grandkids grow up and maybe even great grandkids.

HotHHead

I'm 32 and I have a 10 and a 4 year old.

33, no kids. Haven't fully ruled it out, with the right guy it might be a consideration, but still leaning towards a "probably not". Never really appealed to me.

Chattastrophe!

I'm 27 ... I always planned on having kids sometime in the distant future - definitely well into my 30s, when I had my career sorted out, some savings behind me, maybe a mortgage and a bit of stability, etc.

But I ended up getting pregnant last year, and now have a three-month-old boy. And he is lovely and gorgeous and perfect and I love him to bits, I could not imagine my life without him anymore. He's my bestest friend.

I think, though, that I really underestimated how much being a mother takes over your life. While I was pregnant, I was fully focussed on my career, continuing with exams, my relationship with my boyfriend, meeting up with my friends - oh, yeah, and there'll be a baby to think about too, but sure that's no big deal. The reality is that the baby becomes your priority - by a long shot - and it's something I guess I hadn't prepared for. The "constantness" and the permanency of it all. It takes a bit of adjustment!

On the other hand, there is absolutely no way EVER that I would change things. Absolutely not. I'd rather have him here now, sooner than I imagined, even if we're not prepared ... because he's him. He's my little boy, he's one of a kind (in my eyes anyways), he has his dozens of tiny quirks and weirdnesses and cutenesses. He is the result of that accidental meeting of sperm and egg on some random date (who knows when!), and if we'd been sensible and waited until we were older and had more resources behind us, we might have had a different first baby in a few years time ... but we'd have missed out on our opportunity to have this particular baby (if that makes ANY sense! )

His newest trick, which he has tried out several times so far today, is burping and farting at the exact same time!!! Yup, I'm completely and totally besotted.

I'm 27, single, no kids, no plans. One day though, when the timing is right or at least closer to it, I'll unleash the Candie Jrs on the world (I hope), and I'll do my best not to be one of those mothers who talk about their kids non-stop.

I used to talk about my dog all the time though, so I'm not making any promises.

Chattastrophe!

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

I'm 27 ...

Correction ... boyfriend has kindly just reminded me that, no, I'm actually 28.

Thanks, boyfriend!

I've just lost a year of my life.

Karmella

I'm 38 and have a 3 yr old and am pregnant with my second (and last). Took about 6 mths to conceive the second after coming off the pill last summer.

I had a line drawn in the sand that I didn't want to be any older than my mother when she had me. She was 38 and I was her 4th. She passed away 11 years ago when she was 62, although my dad is still going strong now at 76....

I think definitely that people should mind their own business but there is no denying that it can be harder to have kids in your late 30's, and you never know how easy /hard it will be to conceive until you try!! Everyone is different!

Lucyfur

lindtee wrote: »

I'm 36 and have 3 sons, 15, 14 and 11.

I read this and thought ''Oh wow, she's so young to have a 15 year old''

And then I remembered I'm 32 and have an almost 12 year old

we'llallhavetea

Lucyfur wrote: »

I read this and thought ''Oh wow, she's so young to have a 15 year old''

And then I remembered I'm 32 and have an almost 12 year old

I did the same and realised when I'm 36 my daughter will be 17

ellavin

22 no kids

Dutchess

Will be 28 in June, have no kids and intend to keep it that way. It's not for me.

lazygal

I had my two children in my early 30s. I'm undecided as yet about having more, but I don't want to wait too long. I'd have liked to have had my children younger, but then again I wasn't in a relationship or lifestyle position to have them before I did. I'm not particularly maternal and I don't have much interest in talking about kids all the time, especially with parents I don't know that well. I'm mad about my own children but I'm not gooey eyed over every baby I see.

I haven't noticed the children taking over my life. Of course life changes when children come along and things need to be a bit more planned but I also want to have a life while my children are young and ensure that I have one when they've flown the nest. My children and husband are my top priority, but I don't feel they are all consuming. I'm looking forward to getting back to the job I enjoy and get satisfaction from when my maternity leave ends. I am not full time parent material. A lot of parenting is very boring and unrewarding, especially the intense newborn to about four months stage.

beauty101

25 in a fortnight (love that ) no kids but definitely someday, when the right man comes along

metaoblivia

32, no kids and the thought of having kids kind of terrifies me. They require so much sacrifice, money and work. Hats off to all of the parents who do it!

36 with one child. Totally changed my life! Pre-baby we were very free and easy and spontaneous. We both worked in a fast moving and unpredictable environment so could put in the 14 hour days if necessary, pop to a restaurant afterwards without a second thought.
We were also both heavily involved in sport and other interests and were never a couple who came home from work, cooked and sat in front of the TV or online in the evenings.
If you lead a sedate enough life then maybe a child isn't much of an adjustment. I don't drink but I socialised a lot.
I had no problem conceiving at 33.. Most don't.

Penny Tration

25, no kids, probably can't have them, and have never wanted them.

Even though I'm only 25, my mother, sisters and friends keep asking when I'm going to settle down and have kids. :mad: I'm in a good relationship, but that doesn't mean I want kids! Thankfully, he doesn't either.

I imagine the nagging to get pregnant will increase once I hit 27 or so.

I'm in no fit place to have kids, financially. I'm in a low paying job and live at home to look after my mam (disabled). So why my family keep asking me to make them grandparents /aunts is beyond me!

They'll have to rely on my siblings for all of that

All4shopping

24, no kids yet, but trying!

Thundering_Sky

21 no kids, would love to have two children but not for a good while yet

cruais

29, married 3 years and trying VERY hard to have bambinos!