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Single and Miserable :(

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    #32
    fullofbeans
    Registered Users Posts: 32 ✭fullofbeans


    Hey,
    Ah thank you, what a nice encouraging message!


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    #33
    Alf. A. Male
    Closed Accounts Posts: 740 ✭✭✭Alf. A. Male


    OP, is there a point you can identify at which your efforts to meet the right man are breaking down? Easy to get first dates, but not a second for example? Or some pattern? Put a lot of effort in, get nothing back? Or a few weeks of a fling, then a disappearing act maybe?


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    #34
    Sheog
    Registered Users Posts: 200 ✭✭Sheog


    Lots of great uplifting comments here...thanks to all who have contributed. I too am another one of those who could be described as 'terminally single'. I'm 31 and have had pretty bad luck finding love since I had my heart broken (which was years ago!)

    I'm finding more and more that my friends are getting married and starting a family, but I am lucky enough to still have a group of great single female friends who are in the same boat. We have great fun hanging out and scoffing at the endless wedding invites (or invoices through the door as we call them!) Yes, we tend to be a little on the cynical side of it, but I think that's how we humans deal with stuff we are actually maybe a bit disappointed with in our own lives.

    Anyway, while I'd love to meet the right person, I know that I won't settle and that I would be happier being single than to be with someone for the sake of it. What helps me from going crazy though, is recognizing that my friends and colleagues who are married with kids often hang on my every word when we are talking about our weekends or our holidays etc. (Mid week gigs, parties or music festivals, great trips abroad in the summer etc.) They often tell me how jealous they are of the freedom I have and the exciting life (in their view) that I am living... and I can see in their eyes that they miss their lives from before.

    So try to remember that most of your friends who are married with kids are probably jealous of you. After all, they no longer have the freedom or choices that are still open to you in life. Enjoy it while you still can, you could meet the guy tomorrow! :) Best of luck!


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    #35
    RevRun
    Registered Users Posts: 27 ✭RevRun


    "you could meet the guy tomorrow"-excactly..best piece of advise on this thread. Its what I meant when I said take a chance on people..now stop worrying and enjoy your life..over fifty percent of people are single..do you think they're gonna mope about? Now head up, chin up and enjoy yourself..in ten years time you could be married with your 1st child looking back on this thread asking why you didn't make more of your single life!!


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    #36
    fullofbeans
    Registered Users Posts: 32 ✭fullofbeans


    Ha! Some and / or all of the above!!! I guess lots of first dates and some second dates and less third dates........ it just seems like it's all simpler for some than others, c'est la vie.


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    #37
    fullofbeans
    Registered Users Posts: 32 ✭fullofbeans


    Great advice people! Thanks for all of this, just knowing there are other people like me makes me feel better!


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    #38
    Clint212
    Registered Users Posts: 37 ✭Clint212


    Im in the same boat, Im single three months and all my friends have either got married and are expecting/hoping to have kids in the next couple of years, or in serious relationships for the last few years. Recently my newly married friends moved into a new house and invited me over to visit. I got the obligatory tour of the house and while inside a little bit of me was dying, I was outwardly happy for them. I myself am only working part time, living at home at 30 and as I mentioned am single.

    What I have taken to doing is to be there for my friends, help them get set up in their new lives - helping them move furniture, fix up the future new arrivals bedroom etc. While it isn't moving my own life forward, I feel a sense of being useful in some way to someone. So what Im saying is rather than keep away form your friends that have babies or moved into their dream home, embrace it and let that be something to focus on for the time being, and most importantly, look after yourself :-)


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