a woman in a pub

Tugboats

Smiled at me twice today and I did nothing about it.

Sh1tbag OToole

how bad

GenieOz

Tugboats wrote: »

Smiled at me twice today and I did nothing about it.

www.tumblr.com

.Henry Sellers.

You'll get her next time OP, nobody should take sh1t like that.

131spanner

Sounds like she's a cock-tease. Smiling and what not.

Daveysil15

You'll have to settle for a tug.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Looks like boats aren't the only things you'll be tugging tonight.

Banjo String

Tugboats wrote: »

Smiled at me twice today and I did nothing about it.

Nothing?

Didn't even sniff her seat?

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=87272544

The Backwards Man

STD test in the morning for you my boy. Better safe than sorry.

Sir Osis of Liver.

A girl went into a bar and asked for a double entendre, so he gave her one.

thegreatgonzo

She was probably smiling at someone behind you anyway.

castletownman

U ok hun? xx

The Backwards Man

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

A girl went into a bar and asked for a double entendre, so he gave her one.

Not much of a barman, the girl asked for a double.

stefan idiot jones

It could have been wind.

john the one

shoulda made a leggit to the jacks for a fapping, its cheaper

Banjo String

A roman soldier walked into a bar, stuck 2 fingers up at the barman and said "ten pints please"

shopaholic01

You missed out there. Smiling is our subtle, non-verbal way of letting you know we want you to put us through the headboard. Next time it happens the correct response is to grab your crotch, suggestively thrust your pelvis and grin in a lecherous manner.

The Backwards Man

A man who didn't like jokes walked into a bar, ordered a pint.

Aphex

Tugboats wrote: »

Smiled at me twice today and I did nothing about it.

Good on you for admitting it dude

Pug160

Tugboats wrote: »

Smiled at me twice today and I did nothing about it.

Did you at least smile back? :pac:

castletownman

A man walks into a bar.

He's an alcoholic whose habits are destroying his family.

shopaholic01

castletownman wrote: »

A man walks into a bar.

He's an alcoholic whose habits are destroying his family.

No one is smiling at him though.

Banjo String

Stevie wonder walked into a bar one day.

His guide dog got sacked immediately afterwards.

Mariasofia

Awaits "a man looked at me twice in a pub today thread"......

debabyjesus

Woman in a pub = kitchen going dirty somewhere

Aidric

Banjo String wrote: »

A roman soldier walked into a bar, stuck 2 fingers up at the barman and said "ten pints please"

A man walks in to a bar and orders ten brandies. The landlady serves up ten brandies and he swiftly knocks 'em back. I shouldn't be drinking like this with what I've got he says. Why, what have you got she says? 'Fúck all' he says.

Bernard Manning

Muise...

A man walks into a bar.

Ouch.

Banjo String

Aidric wrote: »

A man walks in to a bar and orders ten brandies. The landlady serves up ten brandies and he swiftly knocks 'em back. I shouldn't be drinking like this with what I've got he says. Why, what have you got she says? 'Fúck all' he says.

Bernard Manning

Man walks into bar, asked the barman for a double brandy,gets handed one from barman and swiftly necks it.

"another" says the man.

Barman passes him another glass of brandy, which the man skulls again.

"another" he said. Barman gives him another, he necks it again.

The barman then tells him to take it easy or he's going to end up locked.

The man looks up, and says "if you seen what I just seen today, you'd neck them like that too". The barman, curious, asked him what it was he seen?

"came home from work early today, headed upstairs into the bedroom to find my wife and best friend in bed together, her naked, and him giving it to her hard from behind".

The barman, feeling sorry for the poor guy pours him another brandy and tells him it's on the house.

Then the barman asked him "what did you say to your wife"? The man tells him that told her to pack her bags immediately and get the hell out of the house!

The barman, nodding said" you did right man, you did right., what about your best friend, what did you say to him?

The man looked up to the barman, a tear in his eye and said " I looked him firmly in the eye and said BAD DOG!"

dxhound2005

I walked into that bar in the company of one of our Caledonian cousins and a denizen of perfidious Albion. I didn't see the smiling woman but maybe it was because I was distracted by the long faced horse, the talking duck, the lion and the giraffe.

The Backwards Man

Two fish go into a bar.


Bartender says, 'I'm not serving you, you're legless'

Muise...

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Two fish go into a bar.


Bartender says, 'I'm not serving you, you're legless'

Legs.Eleven walks into a bar. Buys a round for the fish.

razorgil

Tugboats wrote: »

Smiled at me twice today and I did nothing about it.

wasn't sally o'brien by any chance?

Red Kev

Banjo String wrote: »

A roman soldier walked into a bar, stuck 2 fingers up at the barman and said "ten pints please"

5 pints.

Two fingers....looks like a "V" , so it's 5 pints.

Aphex

My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night.

She nearly took my fcuking eye out!



I went to the pub the next day

Sir Osis of Liver.

Two brains walk into a bar and the barman says 'Get out lads,ye're out of ye're heads'

Banjo String

Red Kev wrote: »

5 pints.

Two fingers....looks like a "V" , so it's 5 pints.

Oops.

Thanks lol.

RikkFlair

razorgil wrote: »

wasn't sally o'brien by any chance?

and the way she might look at you

LETHAL LADY

A dwarf walks under a bar........

Aphex

What do you do if a Rottweiler is rogering your leg?

Fake an orgasm.

biko

Tugboats wrote: »

Smiled at me twice today and I did nothing about it.

Was your fly open?

mitosis

Sally O'Brien?

Gran Hermano

Tugboats wrote: »

Smiled at me twice today and I did nothing about it.

Congrats on the new relationship and enjoy the honeymoon period.
When you both feel mature and comfortable with each other you should consider moving to the next stage. Might i suggest for that you try grunting in her general direction.

shrewdness

A dyslexic man walked into a bra..

The Th!ng

She had a hot Black Bush

Sir Osis of Liver.

A set of jump-leads walks into a pub and the barman says 'You better not start anything in here'

dd972

Stop feeling sorry for the OP, it was Larry Murphy !

Banjo String

A Chinese man walked into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.


The barman said, holy shıt, where'd you get that?


The parrot squaked, then said "China, there's fűcking billions of them, now gimme a pint"!!

Sir Osis of Liver.

Marty Whelan walked into a doctors surgery with frog on his head and the frog says 'Doctor,i've a boil on me arse'.

HalloweenJack

Don't worry OP, just **** about the sex you could've been having right now.

Capt'n Midnight

An electron and a positron go ino a bar.
Positron: "It's your round."
Electron: "Are you sure?"
Positron: "I'm positive."



Descartes walks into a bar. “Beer?” asks the barman. “I think not” replies Rene, who disappears.





A biochemist walks into a student bar and says to the barman: “I’d like a pint of adenosine triphosphate, please.” “Certainly,” says the barman, “that’ll be ATP.”



sin(x) and cos(x) walk into a bar and ask for drinks. The barman declines: "We don't cater for functions."



Four fonts walk into a bar The barman says "Hey you, get outta here! We don't want your type in here."

razorgil

razorgil wrote: »

wasn't sally o'brien by any chance?

Sure at least he had the pint of harp if he wanted it.....There was harp on tap was there not op?