"Everyone said ours was the best wedding ever"

hoodwinked

Stepping Stone wrote: »

I think a lot of people just don't think too much about these comments but ironically, I do know one person who had a notoriously bad wedding that constantly trots this out. They skimped on everything, the food was poor and there wasn't much of it. The venue was almost two hours from the church. The worst thing was the entertainment. They had a ceili band for the entertainment. No dj, nothing else. It was painful. The dance floor was full of old people and unusually, most of the younger people left the room. It finished around one, so they saved themselves money by having tea and biscuits instead of the usual stuff to keep you going.

oh god i went to one like that before
besides the fact the hotel was a 2 hour drive from the church (which was a pain in itself), it was in the middle of nowhere,

there was a champagne and orange juice reception, so i went up (as the designated driver) and asked for an orange juice, i was told i couldn't have an orange juice without the champagne (despite the two being in a seperate jug/bottle) and all the glasses being empty, so i asked for those who aren't drinking what option was there and she pointed to the bar.

went up to the bar ordered drinks and went to pay, but they didn't take cards, fair enough i know most hotels do these days but i still found it strange, asked where the nearest ATM was (thinking reception or somewhere) and was told it was a centra 10 minutes drive away. :eek:

it wasn't just us either to be fair all my inlaws were giving out about most things they really had put their guests out in more ways then these two examples,

like the post above the music was a type of jazz/swing band type thing, and while it was different at first all the younger relatives (of which there were many) kind of hung on for the dj while the older ones went to bed,the brides family and the brides friends were pretty much the only ones on the floor very obviously trying to look like they were having fun for her (which i thought was really sweet of them), when the dj started, he played pretty much the same kind of music as the band? thats when most of the younger crowd gave up and left, one of my younger inlaws even left to go upstairs and study for important exams she had coming up as she was so bored, we left shortly after too must have been around midnight and we still had a two hour drive to get home. (hotel was fully booked out too so there wasn't the option of staying)

now in fairness to the bride and groom, they obviously did what they wanted at the expense of their guests and that is fair enough it was their day, picking that particular hotel, and music...etc so at least they enjoyed it. but i would class it as the worst i have been to so far, would i tell them that though? probably not i wouldn't want to be rude, the standard response from my inlaws after was "it was a lovely wedding" or "we had a lovely day" whenever they mention it...

cuilteanna

Stepping Stone wrote: »

Another one that sticks out in my mind was a winter wedding. It was cold, windy and wet but the B&G insisted that all the guests stay for group photos outside the church. The bride told me that it didn't turn out as they had expected because everyone looked cold, wet, miserable and unhappy.

Was at a wedding on a rainy day when the photographer was trying to keep everyone at the church for photos out front like that (venue about an hour away). I dutifully stayed a few minutes trying my best to stay dry, but when I spotted some escapees decided to ignore the photographer and leave. Not being family or a close friend I shouldn't think my absence was ever noticed!

I've never said anyone's was the best wedding ever - though most were better than mine by miles - but would never say anything negative to the B&G. There's usually something nice to praise!

Ann Landers

Stepping Stone wrote: »

I think a lot of people just don't think too much about these comments but ironically, I do know one person who had a notoriously bad wedding that constantly trots this out. They skimped on everything, the food was poor and there wasn't much of it. The venue was almost two hours from the church. The worst thing was the entertainment. They had a ceili band for the entertainment. No dj, nothing else. It was painful. The dance floor was full of old people and unusually, most of the younger people left the room. It finished around one, so they saved themselves money by having tea and biscuits instead of the usual stuff to keep you going.

This couple say frequently say theirs was the best ever? Sorry, just not clear this is what you mean.

Stepping Stone

Ann Landers wrote: »

This couple say frequently say theirs was the best ever? Sorry, just not clear this is what you mean.

Yes, the bride constantly reminds us that her wedding was the best ever. Every wedding that we have been to since has been compared unfavourably (by her) to her own wedding.

Gatica

Stepping Stone wrote: »

I think a lot of people just don't think too much about these comments but ironically, I do know one person who had a notoriously bad wedding that constantly trots this out.

norrie rugger wrote: »

Just out of curiosity, would these people normally skimp on things or were they tight for cash and needed to make it stretch?

To me it sounded more like it had to do with someone who'd have criticised other people's weddings only to not quite lay it out themselves.

Gatica

Stepping Stone wrote: »

Yes, the bride constantly reminds us that her wedding was the best ever. Every wedding that we have been to since has been compared unfavourably (by her) to her own wedding.

sorry, just saw your post clarifying this...

daithi7

A few things:

I really, really enjoyed our wedding day, a million miles more than I thought I would actually, I thought it may be a pleasant chore type social gathering but in fact it was a day to cherish fondly... now as for the marraige

To those people who say its all about the b&g, Balderdash!! They are only 2 of maybe 200 at the event. We went out of our way to welcome people at the church, talk to people between courses, include people in speeches/readings, etc and generally ensure people were looked after as much as we could, and it really helped the atmosphere as everyone got in on the vibe e.g. Priest,bands, hotel, etc, etc

For the first few days of a honeymoon most couples are just wrecked, I know we certainly were. I had asked some friends to get me a digital video camera & tripod as a wedding present, we just left it roll in the church and at the hotel for the speeches, and also got about 15 mins of the dancing on it later on too. When its on the tripod, it doesn't need much minding and is fairly non-intrusive. We must have watched it 4-5 times in the first few days of the honeymoon- it was a great way to relive the day and prolong the happy buzz- recommend everyone to do it. (some people pay to get the whole event professionally videoed but I think this is 1. very expensive and 2. can be very intrusive on the day, so I wouldn't go that far myself)

Finally we had a fish, steak (cooked to order) or vegetarean option as the mains for the meal. I would recommend steak as an option, as people do appreciate it over say carvery beef say, but the venue have to be very good to cook to order, our venue were thankfully, but if you don't feel the venue can handle that level of service, spend the money on other food & drink options.

In my opinion, the most important thing about the day, asides from marrying the right person of course, is to relax and really enjoy yourselves, it helps everyone else in the party to do the same, which aside from getting hitched is the objective of the whole exercise.

p.s. no kids at the reception if ye can avoid it too

cookiecakes

We tried to make our wedding as guest-friendly as possible. We held the ceremony in town, hotel was a 10 minute drive away and we organised a bus from the hotel for people staying over there and a bus from the church if people wanted to get the bus or taxi to town and leave the car at home. It was 4 months ago and we're still getting compliments from people on these and other touches we added to make sure everyone enjoyed themselves. I don't buy into the 'best wedding ever' type of thing but I do appreciate the compliments on the touches that we put a lot of thought and effort into in order to try and make people have a relaxing and fun day! These mean far more than a generic 'best wedding ever' remark ever could.

Ann Landers

I always compliment couples on standout aspects of their wedding. Like at the last one I was at, the church music was beautiful and food a cut above average wedding fayre.

Galwayguy35

cookiecakes wrote: »

We tried to make our wedding as guest-friendly as possible. We held the ceremony in town, hotel was a 10 minute drive away and we organised a bus from the hotel for people staying over there and a bus from the church if people wanted to get the bus or taxi to town and leave the car at home. It was 4 months ago and we're still getting compliments from people on these and other touches we added to make sure everyone enjoyed themselves. I don't buy into the 'best wedding ever' type of thing but I do appreciate the compliments on the touches that we put a lot of thought and effort into in order to try and make people have a relaxing and fun day! These mean far more than a generic 'best wedding ever' remark ever could.

In fairness you did all you could for the guests, anyone that complains after that aren't worth bothering about.

Electric Sheep

cookiecakes wrote: »

We tried to make our wedding as guest-friendly as possible. We held the ceremony in town, hotel was a 10 minute drive away and we organised a bus from the hotel for people staying over there and a bus from the church if people wanted to get the bus or taxi to town and leave the car at home. It was 4 months ago and we're still getting compliments from people on these and other touches we added to make sure everyone enjoyed themselves. I don't buy into the 'best wedding ever' type of thing but I do appreciate the compliments on the touches that we put a lot of thought and effort into in order to try and make people have a relaxing and fun day! These mean far more than a generic 'best wedding ever' remark ever could.

Your choice of location and provision of transportation means more than any amount of gimicks like photobooths, fireworks or magicians.

Vojera

hoodwinked wrote: »

the brides family and the brides friends were pretty much the only ones on the floor very obviously trying to look like they were having fun for her (which i thought was really sweet of them)

Oh god, I've been that person trying to fill the floor. It's a Really Bad Sign.

The last wedding it happened was at a very intimate wedding, only about 40 people there.

The room was far too big to begin with, so we felt swamped even before the band started. Then the band only played quite old music because it's what the groom really wanted, but it wasn't to the taste of most of the guests.

And finally, about a quarter of the guests were the bride's family who come from a culture where discos, etc, are only in big cities and dancing for fun just isn't the done thing.

So myself and my friend danced the whole night. We were joined by a few of the younger relatives of the groom a few times but there were never more than six or eight people on the dance floor and a lot of times it was just the two of us.

On one hand I got a great workout, dancing the night away, but I didn't really enjoy it because I was dancing out of obligation and not for fun, and obviously everyone's eyes were on us so I felt really self-conscious and it was so hard to sit down for a break because then the floor was empty.

But the following day, did I tell my friend and her new husband that their wedding was a bit crap? Of course not. I thanked them for the lovely day and picked some things I could genuinely compliment to focus on. They already knew the music hadn't gone down well and me telling them that would have been horrendous and cruel.

Toots

Stepping Stone wrote: »

Yes, the bride constantly reminds us that her wedding was the best ever. Every wedding that we have been to since has been compared unfavourably (by her) to her own wedding.

Lol! Everyone else probably uses hers in the opposite way:

Friend 1: "God, this wedding is shít, mass was super boring, food's cold, venue's a bit of a kip, I just got dodgy pint at the bar, and the DJ's not great either."

Friend 2: "That's true, but it's still a hell of a lot better than X&Y's craptastic wedding."

Friend 1: "Jaysus, yeah. Remember that sham! Actually, this wedding's looking pretty good when you compare it to that one!"

Sala

daithi7 wrote: »

To those people who say its all about the b&g, Balderdash!! They are only 2 of maybe 200 at the event.

Agree with this. I don't think anyone ploughs ahead with what they want without thinking of guests! I think that's why the food is usually samey at weddings. I personally would love to go for duck for the meat course, but will probably pick beef or something to suit everyone!

Polly701

I loved our wedding but I'm well aware that it wasn't to everyone's taste. You can't please everyone!

We have a child ourselves and decided to get a babysitter to mind her for the evening. If we had invited all our nieces and nephews 25% of our guests would have been under 9! So we asked people to make childcare arrangements - this went down like a lead balloon. One particularly difficult sister in law made a complete song and dance about it - she insisted on bringing her child to the church (which I didn't mind even though she cried all the way through and was obviously bored). She then said she would eat her dinner in a local hotel as her child "wasn't welcome in our venue" - my brother was mortified! But he stayed and had his dinner with us - fair play. She returned after dinner, very tired child in tow (in order to prove a point), and looked "wounded" for the rest of the evening. I know that my aunts were tutting about how I wouldn't allow children. But we'd given them a years notice and led by example ourselves. If we'd had the venue looking like a crèche people wouldn't be happy either - you can't win!

My brother in law's wife was in a snit for the day - I'm not entirely sure why. She went into the reception area before dinner and changed the place names around at her table - this annoyed me because I had put a lot of thought into it and made sure people were next to people they know and have something in common with. She had a look of boredom on her face for the evening and never went near the dance floor. And they left very early without saying thanks or goodnight. So they clearly wouldn't be saying that our wedding was the best they were at!

But we loved it. And having been to a lot of weddings I genuinely think ours was great. But I know that some people would say the opposite! And so what if they do?

Gatica

Fair play to you for sticking to your guns. I'm sure there's lots of guests that were delighted not to have kids there and had a blast thanks to that. All the SIL proved there was that she was willing to sour someone else's wedding day because of her selfishness... Sure, some aunts may have been fretting about trying to be nice, but I'm sure lots if not most of them thought to themselves what a d0uche!

Shedite27

daithi7 wrote: »

Finally we had a fish, steak (cooked to order) or vegetarean option as the mains for the meal. I would recommend steak as an option, as people do appreciate it over say carvery beef say, but the venue have to be very good to cook to order, our venue were thankfully, but if you don't feel the venue can handle that level of service, spend the money on other food & drink options.

Been to a few weddings in nice places where I tried the steak. The two I've had, they seemed to ask how you want it out of politeness. Myself asking medium, my gf asking well done, both were the exact same. If ya want a steak go to a steakhouse, in a hotel you're better off sticking to what hotels do well. That's just my experience anyway.

Vojera wrote: »

But the following day, did I tell my friend and her new husband that their wedding was a bit crap? Of course not. I thanked them for the lovely day and picked some things I could genuinely compliment to focus on. They already knew the music hadn't gone down well and me telling them that would have been horrendous and cruel.

Yeah telling them isn't gonna change the past, they're not gonna think "I'll do a different band for my next wedding", think you're better off just keeping it to yourself.

Neyite

One thing I noticed from family weddings was the age bracket of your guests can make or break it too. At one siblings wedding nearly 20 years ago, aunts and uncles were on the floor the whole night long dancing and having fun then in the residents bar until 5am, 10 years ago at another siblings wedding the same golden oldies gave it a good bash again, but danced a little less and had an earlier night of it. 2 years ago one more sibling got married, the aunts and uncles were all in their seventies by then and mostly sat around the tables, got up for a dance or two, but were home tucked up in bed by midnight.

iguana

lazygal wrote: »

Hell yeah. I don't enjoy those residents bar sing songs. I'm usually wrecked by midnight and ready to call it a day. Ours wrapped up early compared to most, at 130am, and I was delighted there was nowhere to go but home to bed.

We had our wedding at our house and the last few guests did not want to leave at all. At about 4am, I feigned sleep on the couch and they still didn't get the hint.

Ann Landers

iguana wrote: »

We had our wedding at our house and the last few guests did not want to leave at all. At about 4am, I feigned sleep on the couch and they still didn't get the hint.

You could have headed off, there's no rule that the B&G have to be the last to leave. I've been to a few where the B&G were waved off by guests who stayed up a bit longer.

EDIT: Sorry, read post wrong.

Gatica

That's fine if it's not in your house or house where you're staying. I'd wanna be sure I'd locked up after the last person left if it was my home, or my parents', unless the parents were doing that.

Ann Landers

Gatica wrote: »

That's fine if it's not in your house or house where you're staying. I'd wanna be sure I'd locked up after the last person left if it was my home, or my parents', unless the parents were doing that.

I see, read it in a hurry!

Toots

iguana wrote: »

We had our wedding at our house and the last few guests did not want to leave at all. At about 4am, I feigned sleep on the couch and they still didn't get the hint.

"We're going upstairs for a shag, lock the door behind ye when ye leave!"

sweetie

We hired a house, marquee and caterer for our wedding and had a fabulous sunny day in june. We had copious amounts of prosecco and soft drinks for free and very cheap spirits and beer. I overheard one guest complaining that he wasn't getting topped up enough outside during the afternoon drinks reception. That may have been the case and I immediately mentioned it to the catering manager but it left a sour taste especially considering he had a 'house party' type reception with BYOB at his parent's house with zero music or entertainment a few years previously. Needless to say, he ain't on my christmas card list.

I do remember that my main course wasn't the hottest it could be and the day that it was I forget/let it slide and never heard any other complaints from my family (who would tell me) or friends (who thankfully wouldn't) but it does concern me that people may have been disappointed as we put a lot of planning into the meal. Working at the venue a number of years later I discovered when talking to the owner that the ovens that were hired failed to work on the day and the caterer had to use the smaller kitchen oven in the house. Fair play to her for pulling it off but I'm disappointed we were never told (or refunded!) about this.

The day will always be remembered for the plentiful drink, the crack, the weather and the entertainment I think and we still get comments from guests now and then how much they enjoyed it so we feel ours was one of the best of the ones we have attended.

Milly33

Perhaps they didn't want to stress you out over it on the day, which fair deuce to them for covering it up or keeping it out of sight as such from ye.. Sounds like again everyone will find something but sure once ye enjoy...